WHAT HOLDS IN FUTURE FOR A MOTHER OF RAY

She came to the school to make enquires with her son who is 7. They walked into my office hand in hand. I greeted her with a smile and offered her a sit. I love to engage every child who walks into my office in a conversation.

I pay more attention to kids than to adult.

So I turned to him and greeted. "Good day young man " .

He ignored me totally and behaved as though he didn't hear me. I repeated myself again. This time a bit louder .

He looked at me and looked away. He began to move around the office. Touching everything and anything that was in sight.

I observed him.

I handed the prospectus to his Mom. He turned immediately and snatched it from her. She smiled and said..."Ray, Ray, give it back to me please". He said No bluntly and held on to it.

She asked him to give it back to her politely again and he yelled at her and began to tear it. I watched with keen interest.

She asked if I could give her another copy and I obliged. I gave her a second copy. He rushed almost immediately, grabbed it from her and tore it to pieces.

She looked at me and said. Ray can be naughty sometimes. He turned to her, kicked her hard and said, I am never naughty.

Wow!

I ran out of patience and ordered him to sit immediately. He looked at me surprised, looked at his mom as though he was telling her to do something to me. I waited for her reaction .

I asked him to pick all the papers he had torn and put it in the trash. He said No. His Mom got to work. She picked it all and trashed it herself. She turned to me and said....he is just a kid. He will outgrow it.

And to him she said, I won't take you to ShopRite if you don't sit.....

He gave her the tongue out and in response she smiled.

Okay!

Cool stuff. I understood it all. She is a loving mom who never shouts, spank or punish her child for acting abnormally.

Admirable live pattern.....

BUT

Do you know that a badly raised child grows to be an adult who worries his family much more than he worries the rest of the world?

Do you know you are the person to suffer the consequences of the actions of your badly raised child at some point in their adult years?

Do you know that your mannerless child will make sure you pay for the lack of positive upbringing they had in the nearest future?

Do you know that you and your ward will be avoided by family and friends because of the negative energy you exhume whenever you come around people?

Do you know your child will make you regret and pay for the years you spent pampering and never training them to be sound ?

It may not matter how people see you now. You may be doing your child well by letting them have their way at all times but the future is near and the past will surely come calling.

YOU WILL BE THE GREATEST LOSER!

YOU WILL CARRY YOUR PAIN ALONE!

YOU WILL LACK PEOPLE TO TALK TO!

This is because you have succeeded in putting everyone out of your space with the attitude of you and your child now.

The time is now!

Begin to consciously re_direct your child. Place them on the right path. Cautioning or disciplining your wards does not mean you love them less.

I am glad I told the woman the dangers of the path she is gradually putting her son in. No one is too young or old to learn. He is not too young to be corrected!

Lets raise total children, not rotten ones.

Feel free to chat me on what's app on how to raise a godly children

On +2347065115221 now

NEVER MOCK THESE 3 SETS OF PEOPLE!

1. Never mock your HUSBAND:

2. Your husband is the head of your family. This is God's order.

3. Mocking him is defying the laws of God.

Micah mocked David her husband. She called him a " vain fellow shamelessly uncovering himself".

When you begin to call your husband names, you are in for serious trouble.

Her womb was closed. She never had a child for David.

When you mock your husband, it will adversely affect the innocent children. (Read 2 Samuel 6)

2. Never mock your FATHER:

3. The Bible is very clear and explicit. Reuben went to sleep with his father's concubine and he ended up with a curse. This is mockery.

Absalom chased his father away from the throne. He died unceremoniously.

Whatever you do to bring shame to your father is mockery.

Mothers, never instigate your children against their father. It will be too dangerous for them.

Whatever disagreements you have with their father stops with you. Do not extend it.

Remember, the Bible only talks about the Father's Blessing. Let the heart of their father bless the children.

Malachi 4:6 says... whosoever separates children from their father, upon them shall be a curse. (NLT)

If you are guilty of this, please humble yourself and go and make things right with your father. If you don't, life will be a struggle for you. Be wise.

3. Never mock a true SERVANT OF GOD: Some youths came out of nowhere and began to chant a mockery song against Elisha.

They were torn into pieces by bears.

I met an elderly man in Benin who shared his experience.

He said, on the morning Archbishop Benson Idahosa's death was announced, he was so excited because he hated the man with passion.

He said he sent for two of his friends and they began to toast to Archbishop's death.

While still making noise and bantering in his sitting room, some people ran into his house and told him a gravel tipper had just knocked down his son on his way to lectures at Uniben. The young undergraduate died on the spot.

The elderly man in his seventies said..... 'I have learnt never to mock a true servant of God'.

I have a praying group. One of the women there approached me to come lead the husband to Christ on his death bed.

In humility, the man surrendered his life to Jesus and there was an aura of peace on his embattled face.

Before he breathed his last, he said...... "All my life, I have mocked servants of God.

We are 5 friends and all of them died this way. I am the last of them but now I have made peace with God"

Never join anyone to mock true servants of God.

Job said, what I do not know, I searched out. This is the wisdom of great people. Wise people do not despise SPIRITUAL DIGNITARY.

HOW TO SURVIVE IN A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

The word survive is used because everyone's desire is to live within reach of their partner. But sometimes life gives you a good partner yet circumstance separates you physically. How do you cope?

1. TRUST EACH OTHER

Trust is the reason that will keep the fire burning. Trust is not just blindly given, show you are trustworthy by being open, having a record of dependability and honesty, keep your partner on the know, share details. Do things that make you your partner secure. Let your partner know of your schedules over there. Be predictable

2. DATE ALOT ON THE PHONE OR ONLINE

Unlike other more fortunate partners who get to meet each other so often to go on dates; make up for the lack or minimal frequency of physical connection by chatting and opening up with each other on the phone. This way, your fantasies and desire will remain directed towards your partner even though far apart. Let your cheeky and talkative ways come alive on the phone and online.

3. TALK ABOUT HOW IT HURTS

Share your feelings, say it when you feel low, pour your frustrations on each other brought about by the distance and walk together towards making it bearable.

4. HAVE A COMMON VISION

Define the future, where you two are heading to, talk alot about the future, the goal of why you are together, why you need each other; give each other a hope to hold on to.

5. COME UP WITH A TIME TABLE

You are distant from each other now but come up with a plan that will bring about a permanent solution where you two will finally be together for good. When there is no end in sight the heart gets tired of waiting for love to be within reach; but when a time frame is put, when the heart knows that the distance is only for 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years, that gives motivation to develop the love.

6. COMMUNICATE OFTEN

Use every available communication technology to warmly keep in touch as often as possible. Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Watsapp, Email, Text, Phonecall; don't let it be out of sight, out of mind, out in the cold.

7. PRAY TOGETHER

Loving someone far away from you is tough. Pray together, commit your love to God, it will make the pain easy to bear. You are not physically where your partner is but God is.

8. MAKE AMAZING MEMORIES

The few times you get to be together, make those moments so amazing that when you part, you will have good memories to keep you going as you look forward to meeting physically again to make new memories.

9. KEEP OFF TEMPTATIONS

In as much as you love that person, a vacuum is left by that person not being physically present. Guard yourself so that you don't turn to another to meet your emotional and physical needs. No one wants a partner far away, we all want our needs met here and now but long-distance relationships call for discipline, loyalty and commitment. Hang in there, your partner wishes to be near you, but for now just be patient, soon your needs in love will be adequately met.

10. GROW YOURSELF

Even as you wait for each other, life should not stall or stagnate. Don't feel bad and lonely to the point you forget you need to grow as an individual, before you grow as a couple. Take this time you are apart to build you just as your partner is far away advancing himself/ herself at work or study so that you two can have the best future.

Remember, love is not about how near or far you are to each other but having each other. Someone can be sleeping next to their spouse every night yet be unfaithful, another can be miles away and be faithful to their spouse. Each couple has their own journey, walk it together.

SACRIFICIAL WOMB

After sacrificing my womb for him to be rich, he dumped me and married my friend – Heartbroken lady shares

A 23-year-old Nigerian lady has narrated how she made a huge sacrifice for her fiancé only for him to dump her.

Sharing her story online, the young woman revealed how she unknowingly sacrificed her womb for him to be wealthy but he ended up jilting her and married her friend.

Read her story:

”Life has never been fair to me and love has brought me pain and sorrow. I’m presently a 23-year-old lady from Delta state, born into a polygamous home, where my father didn’t care about my mum, I and my other three siblings.

My mother was the one training us and since her finance was low. I could only finish my secondary school and had to learn a skill.

Immediately I finished secondary school, I met a guy and we started dating. He was the one who took my virginity i love him and he loved me too we dated for two years till he traveled abroad and that was when our communication started reducing till he no longer called me again.

I became single till I met this guy that put me in this worse condition I’m in presently. He was my senior in secondary school and we were kinda friends, I thought he was lovely and with a great personality, didn’t know he was pretending.

So after my boyfriend stopped calling me, he jumped in and was calling me, showing care and sending me money on weekends.

Little by little, we started dating, that’s was when I knew he was into fraud and convinced me to believe that internet fraud is the only way Africans can take back everything the white people stole from them.

As we got along, he was always complaining that he wasn’t making the money he really wanted and i was the one pacifying him to calm down that his time would come.

I was even praying for him because I had fallen deeply in love with him, and he was pretending to love me the same way.

One day, he told me he escorted one of his successful ‘business’ friends to a shrine and after the herbalist finished with him, he pointed to him that his girlfriend which happened to be ‘me’, has the key to unlock his success in his fraud business.

At first, I was astonished and surprised and asked how could i sit on my boyfriend’s success when if he became rich i too would enjoy it.

I told him I had no hand in him not making progress and tried to convince him that I couldn’t do such.

But he was just not convinced and said if i was really sure i wanted his progress which in turn was ours, i should follow him to the shrine.

I was worried and confused, I have never been to a shrine before because my mum trained us in a godly way and i had been lying to her that my boyfriend was a blogger but she usually had a suspicious feeling towards him and warned me to be careful of him but since I was bringing financial support from him, it helped in cooling her down.

I pondered on what my boyfriend said for four days and he was constantly telling me how it would change our future since money would never be our problem.

He also said with enough money my younger siblings could go to school to any level they wanted and i could also go or if I wish to open a big business. Any one I choose.

On the fifth day, I told him in the evening that I was ready, he screamed in excitement and was pouring encomiums on me, telling me if it went successful, we would be getting married in less than 6months.

The following day, we left in a chartered taxi to a village in Delta, we stopped by the waterside and entered a boat to another village.

We got to the village and we passed some bush paths till i saw a place decorated with different traditions objects and he pointed that that was the place.

We entered facing backward and met a shrinking middle aged man with rotten teeth, chewing a bitter cola.

I greeted him and was shocked when he mentioned my name and went on to summarize my family background.

He then had a secret conversation with my boyfriend and then asked me if i was ready for the sacrifice.

I was scared and asked what the sacrifice was, my boyfriend said it was nothing to be scared of, that it wouldn’t hurt me at all, by then the herbalist had already brought a big basin. He put a small calabash filled with herbs and stuffs, in the middle of the basin and pour water then added a yellow powder to the water.

He asked me to strip, I was baffled but my boyfriend begged me to just obey that it wouldn’t take long.

I did and he then told me the stand in the basin full of water and under the calabash while I was blindfolded.

That moment I noticed that sometime left me, like a weight and i slumped but was quickly resuscitated.

We left and went home, we got home and i felt sick for two days, but gradually became well again and he was by my side showing all the fake love for me.

The following week, I was at home when i got an alert of 500k from him I was confused i didn’t know where to start because our house rent was already due and our landlord has told my mum to pay or pack out.

I called him and he told me to use the money to buy recharge card that we are rich now

I quickly sent the required money to my mum to pay the rent and when my mum asked me where i got the rent money from I told her I told my boyfriend about the rent.

I immediately zoomed to see my boyfriend, he hugged me and started appreciating me for what i did for him.

He said one of his maga just paid him 10m and asked that we go enjoy ourselves.

He lodged in a hotel and from there we went for a new accommodation, he got one and started buying household furnitures. I told him why didn’t we invest some of the money before it finished but he shrugged off and said more was coming.

Two weeks later, it was my birthday and he organised a birthday for me and gifted me an iPhone, expensive clothes and shoes and the sum of another 500k. I was baffled, I couldn’t believe if it was a dream.

The next month, he informed me that his ‘maga’ paid him the sum of 75million and told me to come over.

I went there and he asked me what kind of business do i want to do, i told him let’s marry first but he said he wanted to establish me first before marriage, i told him and he opened a supermarket for me that consumed the sum of almost 8million.

On my part, I relocated my family and was training my young one in school and even my deadbeat father was trying to reach out to me but I ignored him.

I started my business and took it seriously and was always there but my boyfriend was busy at home and visited my shop occasionally.

Two months later, I started disturbing him again about getting married but he told me he was planning for it, the disturbance was much, so one day he came to my shop knelt down and engaged me while customers were there and gave me a surprise car keys to a Toyota Camry as gift.

I was elated and was now fully convinced that he was going to marry me.

A month later, a friend of mine inform me that it was like my fiancé is having an affair with another lady i knew, i didn’t believe her because my fiancé was a responsible man at least he was a homely guy and never hid his phone from me.

Soon after, he started behaving strange, he would leave home immediately i left for my shop and returned home when I’m about to come home and he wasn’t visiting me anymore like he used to and he was now giving a lot of excuses.

Till i caught him with said lady in a hotel and was very angry i couldn’t hold myself i fought with the lady for coming to reap where she did not sow.

The next day, my fiancé refused to come home. He switched off his line and when he came back online he told me he wasn’t interested in me anymore, i was mad and asked him after all what I did for you. He replied me that i had also benefitted from the money made.

I tried to find out where he was till a friend of his secretly told me he has traveled to Ghana and with that same lady, i fought with and even told me that he had done marriage introduction for the lady.

I was heartbroken, I tried to reach him on his social handles but he blocked me.

I opened another Facebook account and threatened him if he didn’t rescind on his decision, i would go to the herbalist and reversed his fortune, he said I was free to do what I like.

Out of anger, I went to the herbalist’s shrine after we last visited there 2years ago. After some explanation the herbalist remembered me and I told him everything my fiancé had done and demanded that he reversed the fortune of my fiancé and make him very poor.

He shook his head and said the sacrifice can’t be reversed, as he revealed to me that it was my womb I sacrificed for him to be wealthy and therefore I would remain barren for the rest of my life and he would be using it to get more wealth.

I collapsed and had to be brought back before I was able to go back home.

I was admitted in the hospital for weeks after I recovered a little, I sent him a message of what the herbalist told me, and he said but I benefitted from it and had to apologise that he couldn’t marry me because he knew i wouldn’t be able to bear children.

Now I’m hopeless, I have closed my business for over two months now and life has become tasteless for me.

Two weeks ago, they got married and posted the photos on the internet and it brought me to tears, I couldn’t believe a day like this would come when a lady that knew nothing would be benefiting for the sacrifice of my womb.

I’m at the verge of hopelessness and life is no longer interesting for me.”

BETTER TO MOVE ON

Many times, it’s always the best to move on than to hold on to that person who doesn’t understand you.

Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn’t meant to work.

You can’t force someone to care about you. You can’t force someone to be loyal. You can't force someone to faithful.

You can’t force someone to be the person you need them to be.

I will be real with you, most times the person you want most is the person you are best without.

You have got to understand some things are meant to happen, but just not meant to be.

Some things are meant to come in your life, just not meant to stay.

Don’t lose yourself by trying to fix what's meant to stay broken. You can’t get the relationship you need from someone who is not ready to give it to you.

And I know it’s hard when your heart has labeled that person as someone you could spend forever with, but you just have to accept that they are not that person anymore.

And you might not understand WHY NOW, but I promise you your future will always bring understanding of why things didn’t work out. TRUST ME

It is better to be alone and be happy than to be in a miserable relationship...

Whoever sees you as an option doesn't deserve to be a priority in your life, you call him honey but he treats you like a monkey, He is your everything but you are nothing to him, you are doing everything to make it work, but he keeps thinking you are desperate and turns all your efforts to weakness...

Never keep awake thinking about someone who is deeply sleeping with someone else. Never stay a minute thinking about someone who cant spend a second thinking about you.

Leave that person who takes your love for granted and doesn't love you back the way you do, Love should be balanced not based one side.

Its better to be single than being in an ugly relationship that will make you cry forever.

A word is enough for the wise.

I WANT TO TAKE YOU OUT

Don't marry someone you don't want to be seen with in public, someone you can't identify with, someone whose looks, spoken English or dialect makes you weep!

Some ladies tell me they don't like the guy's looks yet he is God's will.

Some guys said the lady is not their spec, yet she is God's will!

She is either too crude, short, tall, not busty or buttockish enough!

The guy either has tribal marks, looks archaic and speaks horrible English!

God won't give you someone who embarrasses you in public! You either heard the devil or you were sleeping when proposing or accepting proposal from your so called God's will.

Our father Abraham to Isaac to Jacob loved, admired and were proud of their wives!

Marry someone you are proud of or help them become someone to be proud of.

Encourage them to improve on their looks and spoken English.

There is nothing anyone can do about tribal marks, height, breast shape or buttock shape!

You either totally accept or reject them!

Don't marry someone you can't take out on date, show to friends or loved ones. Its a bad omen!

Accept them 100% or reject them 100%.

You can't manage! You are not a manager!

Learn to hear God properly!

Discover ways God speaks!

To think about a guy all day, dream about him all night and conclude you had a vision from God when you have zero knowledge of the Bible and know nothing about how God leads is to walk in gross darkness and high level of stupidity!

Most people who claim they heard God were hallucinating!

Get to know God.

Know the word of God.

Have fellowship with him daily.

Learn how he speaks DAILY not when you are desperate to wear a wedding ring and start having sex!

Bottom line, be proud of your spouse.

Get it?

May the Lord grant you understanding.

Be blessed!!!

By Seun Oladele