This is love?

When single ladies choose to cohabit with men, yielding to free sexual servicing, domestic chores and the likes, what exactly goes through their minds?

This is love?

This will make him marry me?

I am married and this is my duty?

This is what it takes to hold a man?

Which?

More importantly, why is it difficult for women to see this at this point.

Chances are many are reading this now telling themselves "no, this is not me. My own case is different. We are in love."

Okay then. Love.

What is love? What to you is love?

We cannot understand, you think. 

Welcome to the journeys that led to the pregnancies that led to undesired marriages that became toxic and ended up in very hurtful divorces having one person bearing almost all the physical, financial and social cost of it as a single parent.

Welcome to the realities many of us currently live but then, maybe we don't understand.

If he truly loves you, he'd do the needful and marry you right. Don't be mistaken. When the right one comes along, he'd do away with all the excuses he's giving you and marry her. Unfortunately, many learnt this lesson the hard way.

The choice is yours.

-Shamseddin Giwa

Stages of infidelity gaslighting

- Feigned confusion: What girl?

- Pretend Anger: I don’t know any girl.

- Attempted refocusing: Who told you? Why did you check my phone?

- Deliberate denial: It’s not what you think/I don’t know her/ maybe when my friend used my phone.

- Shallow apology: If you say it’s like that then I’m sorry……it’s not what you think though.

- Attempted blame game: I didn’t want to do it, you caused it when you…..

- Sweep away: At least I have apologised.

- Emboldened denial: I don’t remember anything like that happening.

- True reveal: I’m not saying I did but even if I did, what would you do?

In the end, you are left questioning your own sanity and sometimes even having to apologise!!!

-Shamseddin Giwa

DEAR MEN,

A man who can control his sexual urge is a man who can

live many years on earth. Men don't know that some of

their failures are caused by multiple girlfriends Not all girls

have good spirit. Some are demons, others have venom

between their legs.

Some women are destiny destroyers, beware.

Pay close attention:

1. A real man only has one woman in his life.

2. Don't obey your Erection at all times. Most erections

mislead you Control your erection if you don't want to have

few days on earth with much poverty in you.

3. Don't date a lady because she has curves, boobs and a

sexy shape. These things are simply misleading avoid

such, don't fall for what is called social media irony.

4. Not everything you see under skirt you must work to

eat, some skirts contain snakes that bite you and make you

uncomfortable. control your sexual urge Self control and

abstinence pays a lot in most cases.

5. Marrying a woman doesn't mean she owns you. Treat

her with respect Make her your queen, love, honor her and

give her reasons to treat you the same.

6. Having many girlfriends doesn't make you a man. It only

makes you a womanizer, a cheater and a boy.

7. Just because you're good in bed doesn't make you a

man. A real man is a man who does not run away from his

responsibility but faces it squarely.

8. Respect any woman who loves you Yes, is not easy for a

lady to throw her love on you and support your future.

9. The world celebrates successful men No one will

celebrate you for having many girlfriends. So what's the

point tho? Waste of energy, money & wasted sperm.

Remember, being honest, loyal and faithful, is the

trademark of a real man.

Always remember that….

(C)

MY SPOUSE, WE NEED TO GROW UP

1. We need to grow up and stop this game of tit for tat. It is childish to revenge

2. We need to grow up and stop this silent treatment that lasts for weeks. Grown ups don't behave like this

3. We need to grow up and stop talking constanly about our problems and start focusing on solutions. Grown ups act

4. We need to grow up and stop exposing our children to our drama and issues. We shouldn't act childish in their presence with disunity and attitude, they are under our care

5. We need to grow up and learn that disagreeing doesn't mean we don't love each other. Grown ups learn to work through the differences

6. We need to grow up and become accountable and responsible so there is no need to suspect each other. You don't need to police me, I don't need to police you

7. We need to grow up and stop allowing our parents and friends from coming between us. This is our marriage, not theirs

8. We need to grow up and stop shouting and provoking each other like children. Grown ups communicate in a more peaceful manner

9. We need to grow up and stop living only for today and start thinking about future investments for security. Grown ups plan ahead

10. We need to grow up and stop reducing our marriage to just sexual partners. There is so much we can do together besides having sex

11. We need to grow up and put down our pride and accept we need help. There is no shame in praying to God or seeking counsel when we are stuck

12. We need to grow up and stop thinking only about ourselves. How can you and I come together to add value to society as a couple?

© Dayan Masinde

MARRIAGE IS NOT A SCAM

1. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some men are getting married with a lowly and negative view of women and some women marrying with a repulsive and suspicious view of men. Work on your view of the opposite gender

2. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some couples are living together without having a joint vision and values. Work on the foundation of your marriage 

3. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some people are marrying for the wrong motives, when the motive is wrong, everything crumbles. Ask yourself and your spouse, "Why did you get married?"

4. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some people are too selfish in marriage to consider the other person. Love calls you to be considerate of the other.

5. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some people married and became parents without sufficient preparation. What you're not prepared for will overwhelm you. Study, learn, buy books, read articles, go for counselling to equip you with tools in how to be a better parent and spouse. Don't pretend to be a "Know it all" yet your family is not getting your best. 

6. Marriage is not a scam. It is that some people would rather hold on to their pride than admit wrong and say sorry. Your marriage needs humility.

7. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some people are getting married without healing from the pain of their childhood. The bullying, rejection, pain, trauma you experienced as a child can destroy your marriage if you don't heal. 

8. Marriage is not a scam. It is just that some people used to quit easily in their dating relationships and now they don't know how to quit in marriage because they are tied by a marriage certificate, public pressure and children. Stop this habit of being a quitter, marriage will require effort. This is not dating, this is marriage.

9. Marriage is not a scam. It is just some are sadly listening to the wrong advice of bitter friends and hurting social media souls.

THERE IS MORE TO MARRIAGE THAN SEX

Your vagina may be sweet; but it means very little if your words to your husband are bitter and harsh. 

Your penis may be good and take your wife to orgasms; but it means very little if you don't lead her to God.

Your lips lady may be delightful to kiss; but it means very little if your presence is disrespectful.

Your penis may be really hard when erected; but it means very little if you can't stand by your wife during hard times.

Your butt may be nice to touch dear lady; but it means very little if you don't touch your husband's heart with your gentle love. 

Your tongue might drive your wife's clitoris wild; but it means very little if with the same tongue you tell her hurtful and insulting things.

Your hips may look sexy when you walk; but it means very little if your mood swings make your husband lack peace because you are full of drama. 

Your erection can last a long while; but it means very little if your good treatment towards her doesn't last beyond the sex. 

Your breasts may be exciting to squeeze; but it means very little if you keep putting your husband through stress and pressure.

Your fingers may be skillful at playing with her nipples and skin; but it means very little if you play with her emotions and hurt her.

There is more to marriage than sex. Don't just be sexy; be caring too. Don't just think about sexual needs; think about emotional, spiritual and financial needs too. Don't just be great at sex; be great at loving too

©️ Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

LOVING YOU REGARDLESS OF YOUR MOOD

Darling...

1. When you are in the mood not to talk, I will respect that and not force conversations or think you are being rude

2. When you are in the mood to talk, I will engage in conversation and hear your stories so that you don't feel rejected or ignored

3. When you are in an angry mood, I will be careful what I say to you so that I don't escalate your hot temper

4. When you are in a cuddly mood, I will hug you and cuddle up with you

5. When you are in a prayerful mood, I will join you in worship and prayer

6. When you want some alone time, I will give you your space to be with you. Eventhough we are married, you are still an individual 

7. When you are in an outgoing mood, I will not stop you from going out to have responsible fun, to take a walk, to see the world; I will join you if I can

8. When you are in a meditation mood, I will give you your intimate time with God. He is more important than me

9. When you are in a low mood, I will cheer you up. I will lift up your spirits and help you to snap out of your sadness

10. When you are in the mood to vent and cry, I will be your shoulder to lean on

11. When you are in the mood for love making, I will give you great sex

12. When you are not in the mood for love making, I will try and get you in the mood but if you still don't feel like it, I will not force it

13. When you are in the mood for playfulness and fun, bring it on, let's be crazy together

14. When you are in the mood for serious conversations, I will not make silly jokes or belittle the topic. What you say matters

I am aware that living with you will come with all types of moods. I will love you in every one of those moods. I will love you for who you are. Be yourself with me

©️  Dayan Masinde

SIMPLE TRUTHS ON MARRIAGE

SIMPLE TRUTHS ON MARRIAGE

1. You do not have to have sex each night. Intimacy is more than love making. Sex is not the only way to gauge if things are well in your marriage. Sometimes intimacy is about sleeping body to body, cuddling, having heart felt conversations

2. You don't have to argue over every little disagreement. Sometimes you have to move on from the petty differences you have with your spouse and focus on more important things

3. You don't have to keep a score of who puts in the most money or who does more in the marriage. You both have different capacity. As long as you both give what you can and as you can and appreciate each other, you will be united

4. You don't have to be concerned whether people approve of your spouse, the race of your spouse, the tribe of your spouse, the status of your spouse or the age of your spouse. As long as you in your right mind genuinely love your spouse, you know your spouse is good for you and God is pleased with your choice, don't mind what people say

5. You don't have to have a child/children for your marriage to be complete. Biological children are a gift from God, not a right in every marriage. Don't let people make you feel your marriage is not blessed because you have no child yet or don't plan on having children

6. You don't have to respond to every attack or insult directed at your marriage. The best way to lower the power and venom of your enemies is to pay them no attention

7. You don't have to tell your close friends everything about your marriage and spouse. Some things are best kept special and confidential, just between you and your spouse

8. You don't have to copy other marriages and have the material things other couples have. Marriage is not a race competing against other couples. Grow at your own pace, define your marriage as a unique couple

The Dead Queen And Her Son

Episode 2

“who ever kills must be killed in revenge, so let the queen be buried alive, the elder said.

“Yes we agree with you our elder, let the queen face the consequences of killing our innocent king!!’ the people shouted.

Soon the queen was dragged out of the room, she was taken to the main palace. All the other villagers and village elders were informed and they all came immediately.

The queen knelt down in the middle of all the people who gathered at the king’s residence, and they began judgment.

One of the elders got up and began speaking, “my people the deed has been done and the evidence is clear, you all know our traditions, who kills the innocent must be punished to death, said the elder.

Prince Jowah got up and began pleading with the elders, “please my elders don’t judge without proper investigations, at least let consult the chief priest at first, prince Jowah said.

“There is nothing to consult. The evidence is here in the queen’s hand, the people shouted.

“Eeehm my elders don’t you think the prince is right? At least let seek answers from the gods before doing anything, one elders said.

“We don’t need answers from the gods when we already has the answer in our front, I know she is my mother but she will face the consequences of her crime, Prince Luran said.this story is written by Raphael’s creative pen.

The queen will be buried alive, we have no option than that, after we bury our beloved king the the queen will face her fate, said the elders.

“Take her to the prison room where she will stay without food until the day she will be sentenced to death, an elder instructed.

“Oh please my elders have mercy on me, I don’t have any hand in the king’s death, queen pleaded.

“Shut your mouth woman!! Now take her to the prison room till the king is buried.

The guards quickly started dragging the queen to the prison room like a slave’

“Please show some respect on her, she is still the queen, prince Jowah said with tears in his eyes.

Take her away, she doesn’t deserve to be treated like a queen anymore because of her evil deed, prince Lurah said with anger.

The guards dragged her mercilessly into the prison room, and pushed her into it like a slave.

Prince Jowah cried bitterly like a woman, he never expected such thing to happen to his mother, “this is beyond my expectations he said silently.

Soon burial arrangements were made for the king, and the king was buried peacefully.

The queen who was lonely in the prison cried out her whole life, she was also very hungry. She haven’t eaten for days and she is already starving to death.

One night she heard a footsteps near the prison, she look and saw that her son prince Jowah, 

“Mom I brought you food, please eat quickly so I will return the plates so no one will find out, Jowah said.

“My son you don’t have to take this risk to bring me food.

“Mom I can’t watch you starve while there is food wasting in the palace, and I pray the gods speak on your behalf.

“Thank you my son, 

So the queen rushed the food and gave the plates back to the prince so no one wil suspect the act.

The next day, the elder instructed the guards to bring out the queen for the death sentence.

Soon all the villagers followed the queen as they dragged her to an abandoned land in the village to bury her alive.

The two prince followed the crowd and other elders too.

They took her to the place which was already prepared for her arrival, threw all her belongings into the pit and pushed her into the already dug grave.

Prince Jowah stood with tears all over his face, please spare her life, he cried. 

Soon after some elders spoke, the guards began pouring stones and sands into the pit till it covered the queen completely.

Click for the next episode

Click for the past episode http://youngmedos.blogspot.com/2024/05/the-dead-queen-and-her-son.html

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The Dead Queen and her Son

Written by (Raphael de danceprince)

Episode 1

 

One day, a king was killed by his own son, far far away in a very peaceful small village surrounded by mountains, there was a very wise king who had two grown sons. The two sons was very obedient to their father, likewise the queen.

When the king was getting old, it was time for him to choose who will be the heir to the throne, it was a very hard decision for him because the two sons were born on same day, they were twins,

 One of the sons was more loved by his father, which means that the king will definitely hand over the throne to the son he love before his death.

So one fateful night while the king was far asleep, one of his son took a knife and sneaked into the kings room, he checked and realized that no one was watching, so he went closer to his father and stabbed his father with a knife, immediately the king open his eyes and saw that it was his own son who stabbed him’

“Ahhh, my son why did you do this, the king managed to speak while struggling with his life.

“Am sorry father, I have to do this. I need the throne, the son replied.

“Ahhhh, my son if the throne is yours, then let the gods grant it to you, but if the throne is not yours, then let the gods show you no mercy, the king said and died.this story is written by Raphael.Creative.Pen

The son quickly took the knife and placed it silently on the hand of the queen who was also asleep, making it look like the queen was responsible for the evil act.

The son sneaked out of the room without been noticed by any guards.

The next morning, very early. As tradition demands, the guards went to wake the king like usual, but they met the king dead, and found a knife in the hands of the queen who was sleeping.

“Oh no, they freeze. The king is dead, everyone!!! The king has been killed by the queen, the guards shouted.

Soon everyone at the palace gathered at the king room to witness the incident, including the two sons of the king.

“Please am innocent, I did not kill the king, I don’t have any idea how the knife got into my hands, the queen cried.

Shut your mouth woman, the evidence is already in your hands, you killed my father, the first son said to his mother.

No my son, I can never do such an evil thing your father, please trust me, the queen begged.

The second son went closer to the queen and said, “Mom please tell me the truth, are you responsible for this?

“Please look into my eyes, do you think I can hurt an ant, or even talk of killing a human being, the queen said.

“Please everyone my mother is innocent, like how do you people think she can do such an act, she is innocent, the second son said politely.

“And how do you know she is innocent, when she has a knife in her hands, the first son said to his brother.

Justice for the king!! Justice for the king!!! The people began shouting, then a palace elder came and instructed everyone to stay quiet.

“” as our tradition demands, who ever kills must be killed in revenge, so let the queen be buried alive, the elder said.

Click http://youngmedos.blogspot.com/2024/05/the-dead-queen-and-her-son-episode-2.html 

for episode two

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