20 Habits That Turn Boys into Men.

1. Taking responsibility for your actions and outcomes rather than blaming others.

2. Admitting mistakes with honesty and willingness to fix them.

3. Listening to understand rather than just to reply.

4. Standing up for your good principles even when you are challenged.

5. Respecting differences and finding common ground.

6. Keeping promises and standing by your word.

7. Controlling emotions and avoiding impulsive acts in anger.

8. Working hard without seeking shortcuts or overnight success.

9. Handling finances wisely.

10. Persevering through setbacks and failures while learning from them.

11. Putting in consistent effort to reach your goals.

12. Balancing humility and quiet confidence.

13. Nurturing physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

14. Reading, and learning continuously to expand knowledge and wisdom.

15. Spending time mentoring youths and inspiring others through leadership.

16. Create a balance in wealth, career, study, health, personal care, and relationships.

17. Developing mastery of useful versatile skills.

18. Thinking about how actions impact others, not just yourself.

19. Planning and making smart choices for the future instead of the present.

20. Finding purpose beyond just pleasure and materialism.

10 BRUTAL TRUTHS THAT EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW.

 10 BRUTAL TRUTHS THAT EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW.

1. You're going to die and you have no idea when.

Stop pretending that you're invincible. Acknowledge the fact of your own mortality, and then start structuring your life in a more meaningful way.

2. Your material wealth won't make you a better or happier person.

Even if you're one of the lucky ones who achieves his or her materialistic dreams, money only amplifies that which was already present.

3. Your obsession with finding happiness is what prevents its attainment.

Happiness is always present in your life--it's just a matter of connecting to it and allowing it to flow through you that's challenging.

4. Donating money does less than donating time.

Giving your time is a way to change your perception and create a memory for yourself and others that will last forever.

5. You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself.

Stop trying to please, and start respecting your values, principles, and autonomy.

6. Your achievements and successes won't matter on your deathbed.

When your time has come to transition from this reality, you won't be thinking about that raise; you'll be thinking about the relationships you've made--so start acting accordingly.

7. Your talent means nothing without consistent effort and practice.

Some of the most talented people in the world never move out from their parent's basement.

8. Nobody cares how difficult your life is, and you are the author of your life's story.

Stop looking for people to give you sympathy and start creating the life story you want to read.

9. Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's the most worthwhile thing you can do.

You have to put on your own gas mask to save the person sitting right next to you.

10. Time is your most valuable asset--you need to prioritize how you spend it.

You have the power and responsibility to decide what you do with the time you have, so choose wisely...

Thank you for reading 📚 ❤️ 🙏

2023 Young Heroes Award

 The phone lines had been ringing off the hook since NTV broadcasted the news.

About winning the 2023 Young Heroes Award.

And the prize attached to it.

They made it a feature story.

Everyone was calling at the same time.

I was anxious for the first time. What do I say to these people?

"Pim pim pim." My phone seemed to chime every other second. A text message. It had to be the 100th text I've received this morning.

My neighbor, Ola, knocked once and eased himself into the room.

"Guy!!!" He looked incredulous as if he would swallow me up. A worship-like look. "Guy. You don blow. Laidis laidis you don make am."

I couldn't match his enthusiasm no matter how I tried. "Ol boy leave matter."

"So, where is it happening?"

I kept mute. If only he knew what was at stake. My phones were still ringing nonstop. I looked. Mom calling.

I didn't pick up the phone. What will I say to her? That it wasn't me? That I wasn't the one being celebrated despite the work I've put into Helping Hands Foundation?

That it was someone else.

That it was Chukwuemeka C. Okeke and not Chukwuemeka O. Okeke that the world was celebrating.

I tried to explain the situation to Ola but he wasn't having it.

"But it's your picture there naa."

"Yes. But it's not my name."

"It could be a mistake."

"Maybe, the award organizers did not call me..."

"Wetin dey occur gan gan? Everyone know say na you dey carry that foundation for head nau."

I signed, "My reward is in heaven."

"Everybody's reward dey for heaven nau. But your own gats start here naa. Wetin be this."

Ola has turned sober. He looked deep in thought with his brows furrowed. "Explanation go dey for this matter nau."

I got up from the sofa that had sunken so low with my weight and the weight of my problems.

My phone chimed again — another message.

"Guy, this una story no bam sha but try dey pick your call."

I asked him what I would tell the hordes of people calling to congratulate me. It wasn't me. I could swear it wasn't.

I had resigned from the foundation two weeks ago. There was no way they would nominate me for that award.

And yes, there is another Chukwuemeka Okeke at the Edo state branch. So... no, it couldn't be me.

Accepting that it wasn't me was easy enough but how do I explain to these hundreds of people calling?

I got up to go to the bathroom. I needed to take a shower. Life must go on, innit?

Even though someone was knocking at the front door, I made to ignore them. I didn't want to see anyone. I was in a foul mood. I would tell the person off if I open the door.

Ola beat me to it. He was signing something and beaming. The man was leaving. And he extended an envelope to me.

"The award.”

“Yes?”

“It's yours... Na you get am!" He screamed like a madman hallucinating.

"How?" It was hard to fathom the depth of questions running through my mind.

I was elated. But I was sad too. What about the other Chukwuemeka? How was he going to return the congratulations he has received so far?

I wondered if I could share the prize with him as I scrubbed my body in the bathroom

https://web.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=869913311357756&set=a.121710886178006&__cft__[0]=AZXwTAsDvLY5D_vSMSPwnwxje0Ih4Hxy4WE0zD1WodEHdv8HG4Isb0InHnmnyrYXJuu-Qe0a5OxT_LJl6EljaFYtF5OHvJM-6zoEOJwLiZg1HEWByUr-KEHEFJW9x_sLt_aufDM1P8jUr-6i-kebLrLpekCm4JeWPnnWf4Gl67iGMw&__tn__=EH-R

WHO IS A WOMAN?

Having all the Female Reproductive organs doesn't make you a woman.

A woman is the one who feeds a man with encouragement and ideas 

A woman is the one who helps a man to save and invest wisely .

A woman does not run her mouth with sarcasm and insult just to prove a point, rather her words are gracious and can heal a broken heart .

A woman is the one that knows when to talk and to keep Quiet.

A woman is the one that doesn't leak secret. 

A woman is the one that is content with what she has, and not the one that sells her self for material things.

A woman is a manager, a caretaker,a womb that can nature and birth destinies .

A woman doesn't do trending things, but she is reserved and has a taste of a Queen.

A woman doesn't look down on any man because of his present state of life and financial status, rather she encourages any man to get better.

A woman is the one that does not just bears babies, but bear ideas and inspiration anytime, anywhere.

A woman  is the one a man can cry on her shoulders and not feel humiliated for doing so nor lose his value . 

A woman is not the one that deceive a man just to eat his money, but the one who is honest and sincere in any relationship.

.A woman. Is not the one that makes men feel terrible, but the one a man can run to for comfort.

A woman is the one that will spoil a man with honour  and respect because there lies her strength and integrity .

A woman is an influence, a nation and a helper. 

Many are females but only few can be called a woman.

Now ask yourself today, 

am I a woman?

BE A WOMAN TODAY🙏

I WISH YOU A HAPPY HOME❤️

Thank You So Much For Reading Through 😊.

Please Follow Mrblaq De Painter For More.

THE SAD PAWPAW TREE

A Short Moral Story.

A farmer had a huge pawpaw plantation from which he made a lot of money. He often sold the fruits to processing factories to be made into pawpaw juices. The trees were strong, healthy and produced extremely juicy and flavourful fruits. All the trees were overjoyed that they were of great service to their owner, the farmer.

However, there was one particular tree among them that was sad and depressed. She had lived for some years and bore many mature fruits, but her fruits never ripened, and were scarcely worth harvesting. It hurt her so much. Unlike other trees which fruits developed into yellow, soft and delicious pawpaws, her own fruits remained green, strong and unripe.

Each time the factory workers came to pick the ripe fruits, the sad tree would beg and plead.

"Please pick my fruits. I beg of you! No matter how few you pick, I would be satisfied. If you don't pick my fruits, my master would be left with no other option but to cut me down. Please choose my fruits!" she would cry bitterly.

But the factory workers never took her pleas into consideration, and would reply harshly.

"Your fruits are worthless and are of no use to us. Don't you know we use them to make delicious juices? Yours are not ripe and sweet, and therefore can't be processed into juices. We can't pick yours!"

Everyday, the sad tree grew more and more depressed. But at some point, she decided to accept her fate and stop begging for her fruits to be picked.

One day, an old lady came to the plantation to pick fruits she would buy. But surprisingly, she instructed her workers to pluck all the fruits from the sad pawpaw tree as they were her preferred choice. The sad tree was utterly astounded and very excited as she watched all her fruits being plucked off her. She could not believe it. Then she said to the old lady.

"But my fruits aren't ripe and sweet like the others. Why did you choose them?" 

The old lady smiled and said.

"Well, I don't make juice, so I don't need them to be ripe and sweet. I'm a medical herbalist who uses plants to treat diseases and enhance general health and well-being. There are no doubts that an unripe green pawpaw is loaded with a lot of health benefits. It prevents heart problem, helps treat infections, helps digestion, lowers risk of cancer, helps in the treatment of ulcer, just to mention a few... Your fruits are wonderful, and are the best for me"

We often times force ourselves on people who don't value us. We force ourselves to have space in people's lives that don't recognize our worth. We force to be loved and to be accepted, we force conversations, friendship and interactions... We must learn to stop forcing things as it is never the right thing to do. We were not built to force ourselves on people. If another person doesn't feel like being part of your life, you should let them go. You are precious, you are unique, you are special and full of potentials, and the right people will know your worth. They will love and value you for who you are without having to beg them to choose you.

Author: Chima_Dickson Official 

I let my stories teach the life lessons.

She’s wasted too much time hoping someone else

 She’s wasted too much time hoping someone else would show up and save her…

Only to be disappointed every time.

She wanted to believe in the good of people, but when she needed help the most, none would ever arrive..

So she did what she had to do to survive-

She picked up a sword, dusted herself off and began to fight her own battles.

She was overwhelmed more often than not, knocked down and beaten up on the worst of days, but that’s how she began to forge her strength in the fires of failure.

With each defeat, her armor grew stronger.

With every setback, she turned it into a comeback.

She started believing in the woman staring back at her in the mirror and stopped listening to those voices that told her she couldn’t.

At her lowest point and darkest hour, she burst forth from the ashes and fought back harder than she thought possible…

That’s when she began to find her wings.

She wasn’t holding out for a hero anymore.

No, she was telling her story a different way, and in her tale, she became the hero and fought her own battles.

It was gritty, real and dirty, but she always emerged on the other side, finding her way to the light.

She stopped doing just what she had to do to survive and started becoming the person she was meant to become and lifting herself up.

Maybe it wasn’t always a straight line and often full of falls, stumbles and detours,

But she always ended up where she was meant to be.

And as she stood strong and felt proud at the end of a hard day, she had a strength and courage that no one could ever take away from her.

Now, when she looked in the mirror every morning, she stopped asking how she would make it through the day and said simply one thing:

“I got this.”

Why shouldn't we judge people based on where they are in life?

 

Our timeline of life is different for each person. Even different people reach the same destination at different times.

When someone takes more time to achieve what others have already achieved, other people often consider him a failure in his life. We have to remember that our journeys are not the same. Availability of resources, support networks, environments, and difficulties vary, so it is meaningless to have one timeline for everyone.

Never judge people if their progress is slow. Rather, support them and share your experience so that you can reduce some of the difficulties in their journey.

Is there beauty in our natural imperfections?

 

Imperfections are present in every person. Some can be seen, and some are not visible to our eyes. Once we understand this, we accept our uniqueness, feel confident and beautiful.

Our society has set beauty standards so those who don’t fit feel left out or low in self-esteem. The truth is that the biggest flaw is in the thinking that beauty can be measured. Beauty is not just external looks but the qualities a person possesses, most of which must be felt and understood.

Don’t be led by any ideas that make you feel inferior. Improve yourself in every possible way, but what cannot be changed, accept it with confidence, love yourself for who you are and change those made up ideas that some profit from.

Dr Bhawna Gautam

When she knew one thing about him

When she knew one thing about him, it was that he was not just a strong man,

But perhaps the strongest man she’d ever known.

She saw past the tough exterior and rugged facade..she saw a beautiful and vulnerable soul that longed for expression.

He’d been told all his life that men had to be hard, be tough and that vulnerability was a weakness.

Looking at him lovingly, she took his hand in hers and found his eyes with hers.

Her voice, very soft and soothing, seemed to be the one thing that could melt his defenses.

“My dearest man, you are the strongest person I’ve ever met but...there is another way.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her, perplexed and curious.

She smiled warmly.

“I see you..even the parts you hide from everyone else. I know there’s a side of you that longs to be free. A gentler, more vulnerable part of your soul. In fact, that’s the part of you that’s most beautiful of all.”

She could tell he knew her words rang true, but that he’d never had the chance to fully embrace all of himself.

He was known for his strength, his courage and his ability to overcome anything.

But for all his ferocity, he’d never found someone to love him for everything he was..and all that he wanted to be.

Pressing her forehead softly to his, eyes fluttering, she kissed him gently and saw the battle raging in his eyes.

Her voice, barely a whisper, soothed his fiery debate.

“My love, the strongest of us aren’t those who live and die by the sword, but those who are able to be the beautiful balance of strong and sensitive.

You don’t have to sacrifice anything about who you are to become who you’re meant to be..except to realize your happiness is more important than anyone else’s perception.”

Tears steamed down his face as she wiped them lovingly away with her warmest smile.

She had found a survivor and seen what none of the others ever glimpsed in his soul.

She loved him for not just who he was, but everything she knew he wanted to be.

Unconditionally without judgement, she was his safe place in a harsh world.

He could finally become the man he’d always tucked away, hiding and hopeful that one day, he could embrace who he truly was, instead of what he had always been told he should be.

On that fateful winter day, he discovered the love he’d waited his entire life to find in her.

In all his travels, for all that he had done and seen, she was the one thing he’d never experienced: true love.

For all the places he’d seen, there was nothing that would ever compare to what he found in her heart, in her arms.

Home.

Is that a relationship?

 WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIP

?

Many people do not know the meaning of relationship or read different meanings to that word.

A RELATIONSHIP is not about having a handsome boyfriend or having a beautiful girlfriend.

It’s not about looking for a perfect person because there isn’t any perfect person on earth.

It’s not about looking for a fair complexion or a rich person.

Having a lot of money doesn’t mean that one has too much pure love.

MONEY CAN’T BUY LOVE.

A relationship is about finding someone who respects you.

Who cares about you in anyway he/she can afford.

Who understands you.

Who is proud of having you.

Who appreciates you the way you are .

Who loves you the way you are.

Who is faithful to you.

Who knows how to comfort you.

Who is supportive to you or in everything you are trying to do.

Who knows how to encourage

you to be your best.

Who would accept the worst of you.

Forgive you

And who will go through everything without giving up on u.

Such people are very rare to find these days.

It takes God himself to bring you such person just like He did for Adam.

But your relationship with God will be a major determinant in finding such person.

If you have got such person already just keep that person.

Handle him or her with care.

Be honest & contented with that person and don't do anything to hurt or let down that special person.

Remember, Relationship is a full time commitment/sacrifice and you must be willing to pay.

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WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE...

 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE...

1. REMEMBER THAT FEELINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT...

Feelings can mislead you. People who cheat, who act in revenge, who flirt are misled by feelings. You feel like it at the time. Your feelings should be weighed on the scale of wisdom

2. REMEMBER THAT LOVE IS NOT A FEELING

Love is a commitment, a responsibility, a choice. Sometimes you will not feel all romantic or lovey dovey. Sometimes you will not be in the mood. Feelings vary but commitment is constant.

3. REMEMBER YOUR VOWS...

This will remind you why you got married.

4. LOOK AT THE INTIMATE PICTURES AND VIDEOS YOU HAVE TAKEN WITH YOUR SPOUSE"...

This will remind you how far you two have come. Sometimes those memories have to be revived especially when you lose your way.

5. PRAY...

You can mislead yourself. We are capable of making mistakes. Find out what God is saying. God will give you clarity.

6. KEEP AWAY NEGATIVITY...

Shield yourself from people who will encourage your confusion. Many people cheer up the collapse of love than they celebrate love. Be careful who you listen to when you're weak and vulnerable. We make the most mistakes when we let down our guard.

7. LIST DOWN WHY YOU LOVE YOUR SPOUSE...

It is human nature to tend to focus on the negative that we fail to remember the good. Look at your spouse in a balanced way and you will see the reasons why you love and married him/her.

8. ANALYSE YOUR PAST RECORD...

Look at your history. Perhaps you have a tendency of giving up too easily, of being impatient. Could it be the same cycle repeating itself of you being a quitter? If so, end the cycle.

9. REMEMBER THAT NO LOVE IS PERFECT...

Every love has it's challenges: Whether it's to do with finances, health, communication, in-laws, work, parenthood, misunderstandings or matters of sex. Challenges will be there to test your love and if you pull through the challenges together, your love will be stronger. Love is saying "I am with you no matter what".

10. CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS...

Are you expecting too much too soon? Some things couples grow into.

11. GO OUT ON A DATE...

Decide to make a new memory. If you two dwell on the dullness in your marriage, you will find being together draining. Snap out of the thought of separating, brighten up your love. Go out and have fun. Make love. Flirt. Don't make love complicated. The simpler you make it, the sweeter the love

12. WATCH MOVIES ON LOVE OR READ LOVE STORIES...

This will remind you of what love is about and that love overcomes obstacles. Believe in love again.

13. LISTEN TO YOUR SONG...

If you two have a special song that reminds you of the highest moments of your love, listen to it some more.

14. WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE...

Whatever thing you feel needs to be improved in your marriage, progressively work on it. Make it work as a team. Perhaps what you are feeling is frustration or exhaustion. It is OK to be frustrated and exhausted, but not to be a quitter.

Marriage does not work by chance;

 It’s Hard to Fake Marriage… for Long!

When a woman has a good husband, it’s written all over her face. A letter from the heart can be read on the face. There are men who never hang out with their wives. I can do without a morning cup of coffee, but not without cuddling my wife. To woo a woman to be your wife is an art, to create a fulfilling marriage with her require maturity.

There’s an old wise African saying, “He who loves, love you with your dirt.” Mature men don’t hunt for younger girls after their wife’s breasts sag for breastfeeding their children. Your love for her should be like the misty rain, coming softly but flooding the river.

In ancient Egypt they warned girls, “If you marry a monkey for its wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains.”

Many are the roads that do not lead to the heart. When a marriage is working, the man longs to go home from work. The woman is excited to see him back. The kids are sad when daddy leaves. He who loves a thing often talks of it. How often does he brag about you? If she calls you brother or by your name, you’re probably no more than her business partner. How have you saved him in your phone?

If you notice a woman who never talks when the husband is around, the man is a bully no matter his public relations prowess. Free souls freely express.

As often said, peace is not the absence of war. Absence of verbal and physical conflicts in marriage is not synonymous to marriage stability. Most relational conflicts are emotional – deep rooted wounds that eventually explode. But you don’t need to act in your marriage. You don’t need to fake it till you make it. You can live a life of peace, joy, respect and love, EVERY DAY. All good will be attacked. The surest defense in your marriage is investing in your marriage. Marriage does not work; marriage is caused to work.

Marriage does not work by chance; marriage works by change... Changing from assumptions and retrogressive attitude and behavior, and embracing love, honor and growth.

NOW IS THE TIME TO BUILD A HOUSE FOR THE LORD

 hursday of the Twenty-Fifth Week of Ordinary Time 1 (28 Sept. 2023)

📖Haggai 1:1-8; Ps 149:1-2, 3-4, 5-6a and 9bc (R.v.4a); Luke 9:7-9

🎤NOW IS THE TIME TO BUILD A HOUSE FOR THE LORD 

After Ezra had settled the people in their land, things were so difficult for them, and so, they put off the reconstruction of the temple first while they went on rebuilding their own homes. Some of the leaders who should have cautioned them instead supported them with the normal excuse, "God will understand." It was at this time that God sent the prophet Haggai to the people.

The major message Haggai gave the people was on the immediate rebuilding of the temple of God. This temple was damaged when the people were taken to exile.

While we can historically place the ministry of Haggai in the post-exilic era of the Jews, we can say that he is talking to us too. First is on the need to support, in every way we can, in the building of the Church of God, both the material structure and the spiritual one.

Second, remember that our body is equally the temple of the Holy Spirit. Sin sends us into exile from the presence of God and destroys his temple in us. We must equally begin to rebuild this temple, and now is the time. Tomorrow may be too late.

Consider the insecurity that Herod felt at hearing about the works of Jesus. He had a strong material house, but he was still insecure because he had not built a home for God in his life. So shall it be for those who do not have a good place for God in their lives before the end.

May God help us to understand at all times the urgency of preparing well for the coming of the Lord before it is too late. Amen.

Do have a grace-filled day. Peace be with you.

HOW TO WIN AS A COUPLE

 HOW TO WIN AS A COUPLE

1. Cover each other's weaknesses

2. Celebrate each other's strengths

3. Have no topics that you cannot talk about. No judgment. Openness will open your mind to solutions

4. Consider each other's opinions and contribution

5. Be 100% in. Full commitment

6. Make incremental progress. Seek growth, not perfection

7. Develop a culture of reviewing your relationship; are we doing OK, and where can we improve?

8. Accept correction, be humble

9. Work on yourselves to be the best wife, the best husband

10. Have joint goals

11. Support each other in your individual goals

12. Keep each other as a priority even as you have friends

13. Thank God together. A thankful couple is a powerful couple

14. Don't compete with each other, accommodate each other

15. Bring whatever lessons or opportunities you learn out there into your marriage. Learn together

16. Be patient. Some wins take time

17. When you fall whether as a couple or as individuals, pick each other up

18. Protect what you have built together. It is very easy to lose it fast

19. Control your tempers. A lot of bad choices are made in moments of anger

20. Don't copy other couples. Create your testimonies.

Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself for everything

You did to survive

Sometimes it takes all you've got

Just to stay alive

Not everyone will understand

Sometimes not even you

The strength it takes just to stand

And keep on fighting through

It isn't quantifiable

No two survivors are alike

And no one knows just what it takes

To find stars in the night

When everything is just too dark

And you relive it all again

Take a breath and remind yourself

You made it in the end

I might not know your story

But I have one of my own

And I know it's not easy

To forgive yourself for coming home

But I promise you it's worth it

It's something only you can do

Remember, you did more than stand

You found a way to make it through.

~Mandy Kocsis©2022~