Women and already made man

Women want husbands who are capable and willing to take charge in different areas. Even where a woman is strong, she doesn’t want to be that all the time because the idea behind marriage also involves having a spouse that is dependable.

Unfortunately, many marriages are currently in that state with others headed for that. 

Woman wakes up and realises she is no longer attracted to her husband not because she’s having her affair but because the man no longer satisfies what sparks her attraction, husband has now become just a flatmate.

The most common reason is money even though it goes beyond this. Many responsibilities within the marriage are facilitated by funds so a man that cannot provide will put a caring wife in this state eventually if he doesn’t get active about bringing results.

It is worse where he is seen as not pushing his weight.

But there are other things you don’t need money for. Tasks within the home, parenting, creating quality time, ideas and conversations etc are examples you can achieve without money but then the average husband out there is not raised to see it this way. To many, these things are done only by the ‘weak’ as they have been told. They forget that every home is unique in need.

Sometimes it’s the small things that destroy the emotions, slipping into a nonchalant space where said husband becomes used to the wife taking charge of everything. 

Known to him “my wife will always take charge”.

Unknown to him, this is the reason attraction fades away and love follows out of the marriage until the crack leads to separation and divorce.

Even the strongest of women still want a man that can take charge sometimes. There’s nothing attractive about a man who appears lazy or lax. 

But how do I get my husband to understand this? That is a conversation deeper than this text. 

-Shamseddin Giwa