Saturday, 6 April 2024

MY CULTURE IS MY IDENTITY: MY STORY


By Rev. Fr. Angelo Chidi Unegbu (cangelo123@yahoo.com) written April 9, 2021

1) During my 4th year (SS1) as a minor seminarian, my cousin and classmate Fr. Elias Chima Unegbu (of blessed memory) and myself decided to spend our Easter holidays together at Owerri with our uncle Bishop Mark Unegbu, the then bishop of Owerri diocese. The day we arrived coincided with the first day of the Ikeji festival. The bishop, who was not expecting to see us, asked, "When is Ikeji beginning?" "It began today, my Lord," we answered. “Why are you here? Why did you not go to the village to celebrate with others?” The question threw us off balance because it was the least we had expected from him. We had thought that he would have been happy that we decided to spend the holidays on the holy grounds of Assumpta Cathedral rather than going to the village to celebrate what was largely considered a ‘non-Christian’ festival. He did not ask us any other questions. Quickly, we retired to the boys’ quarters, where we normally stayed each time we visited. 

2) The next day, after breakfast, he asked us to dress and get our belongings ready so he could take us to the village. As we were driving into the village that sunny afternoon, we were greeted by the sounds of ekwe and other musical instruments. Various chants and Ikeji melodies by young men filled the atmosphere. We saw some masquerades. Some were dancing to the tune of the choruses and instruments as they marched along the road, while others were walking swiftly as if they were late for an appointment. Intermittently, our car was halted by one masquerade or the other, or by young men in frenzy who would later grant us passage. The bishop asked the driver to slow down so that he wouldn't injure anyone.

3) I was sitting with the bishop at the back as he kept on feeding his eyes with those cultural displays. That was the first time he was home during the Ikeji festival as a bishop, I think. Normally, he visited the village once every year on December 26 to celebrate Christmas with the entire family. That was also his last visit to the village during the Ikeji festival. From his countenance, he was very happy for such a rare opportunity. He dropped us off at our family home and returned to Owerri. 

4) Because of this and subsequent experiences, my interest in or appetite for deeper knowledge of African/Igbo culture, as well as its religion, politics, and history, grew. The more I tried to know, the more I realized how little I knew, and the more I wept for my long years of ignorance. After my graduate studies before my priestly ordination, I thought that I had understood it all until I traveled to Europe for my postgraduate studies. It dawned on me how little I knew of the beauty, richness, and value of our culture. One of the saddest experiences an African will ever have is being asked by a European professor: Why do you not see the beauty in your culture and tradition? More than once, I had some portions of my theses returned because I did not show my culture enough respect and appreciation. It is sad that I learned to appreciate my cultural values in a foreign land and from a foreigner!

5) Unfortunately, a good number of Ndigbo/Africans are still caged by the chains of cultural ignorance and hate. Many are still in the business of disrespecting their culture and even seeing it as evil and diabolic. We still see men and women of God in the 21st century who still go about demolishing cultural establishments and castigating our cultural norms. Funny enough, these people have no reason to justify their actions except that they were brought up to hate themselves. Many of them do not even know that hatred for African culture, religion, history, tradition, negrophobia, and afrophobia pre-existed the Christian mission. They have little or nothing to do with religion!

6) Well, I do not blame African Afrophobes or negrophobes so much because I once belonged to that school of thought. The truth of the matter is that the education system in Nigeria, at all levels and in all places, is basically faulty and intrinsically destructive. If we don’t move our education system from this imbecilic stage, we will continue to sink into the mud of ignorance, retrogression, and self-destruction. Just like religion, quality education must recognize and develop the educational tools and paradigms of our forebears. It must be rooted in our culture if we are to make progress; otherwise, we shall forever remain imitators, copycats, or dependents.

7) Only natural and organic growth is sustainable and beneficial. Our desired character, cultural, and environmental values can only be realized by pruning to improve on what we already have. It is never done by uprooting, importing, or replacing. That would be a lazy and unwise way to address real human issues. 

8) Even with the decline of Christianity in the West, elements of Christianity have remained in their cultures; they still have their flamboyant carnivals, festivals, Dorpsfeest, Santa Claus, and so on. These are ways of sustaining their community consciousness, linking the past generation to the present.

9) We do not condemn or discard Christmas, Easter, or Valentine celebrations as evil because of the aberrations that are today associated with their celebrations. It is also unreasonable to condemn or discard our cultural celebrations and values because of aberrations that have crept into them. Our duty is to remove the aberrations so as to preserve their purity and purpose. May we remember that Ikeji and most of our cultural celebrations are nothing but acts of thanksgiving to God for his love, protection, and provision of bounty harvest.

10) Unfortunately, ours today is to destroy what we have inherited from our forebears instead of transforming (where necessary) and promoting them. May our eyes be open to the reality that our doom or success as a people will depend on our attitude toward our culture, tradition, history, and identity. As for me, I am very grateful to God for letting me be born an Igbo. I thank him for my culture, which gives me my identity and pride. Every African should feel the same about his or her culture and identity. 

With the psalmist, I say:
"For it was you, Lord, who created my being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I thank you for the wonder of my being, for the wonders of all your creation." Psalm 138.

As the Ikeji celebration begins today (April 9, 2021), may we remind all the participants that Ikeji is nothing but a celebration of thanksgiving to God for his love and care and also a demonstration of love for our forebears who have gone before us. Let us avoid acts and behavious that might suggest otherwise. Peace be with you!

Fada Angelo Chidi Unegbu

Friday, 5 April 2024

20 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE READY FOR MARRIAGE...


1. As a lady, you are at least 23 years old and the man is at least 25 years old.
2. You have a job/ business that can take care of you, your wife and at least a baby.
3. As a man you have your own apartment and you pay all your bills by yourself.
4. As a lady, you can take good care of yourself and another person without any stress.
4. You love children and hope to have yours.
5. You enjoy cooking and do house chores without being told.
6. You can live at least a thousand miles away from your parents.
7. You can make major decisions about your life and face the consequence.
8. You are no longer under the control and command of your parents.
9. You do not yield to peer pressure. You do what needs to be done regardless of what anyone feels.
10. You are sexually responsible. You know how to say NO to premarital sex and mean it.
11. As a lady you have a good relationship with your dad and you are submissive to authorities.
12. As a man, you love your mum, sisters and treat women generally with respect and dignity.
13. You know how to make and multiply money.
14. You are spiritually sound. You pray and receive answers to your prayers. You know how to hear God.
15. You are generous. You give with pleasure.
16. You have a healthy sexual desire.
17. You know exactly what you want in life and you pursue it daily to attain it.
18. You have a strong desire to love, bond with and help another person be all what God wants them to be.
19. You do not have destructive bad habits.
20. You are in full grip of your emotions. You are not hot tempered, lustful and possessive!
Remember: These and more are the signs you are ready for marriage. Marriage requires all round maturity: physical, social, financial, mental, emotional, psychological. It is not compulsory you must marry at 25.  And wait till you are mature or your immaturity will destroy your marriage. I see it happen all the time. May the Lord grant you understanding. Gid bless us all

Fellow Me Maxwell Derrickson

A COUNSEL FROM PAPA TO DAUGHTERS.


1. No matter how much a man loves you he will never love your indiscipline: Your financial indiscipline, sexual looseness, carelessness etc.

2. No matter how stunning your look is, if your character is ungodly and unwelcoming your suitor will be unwilling to pay your bride price. Character looks good on you than cosmetics.

3. A man always wants you to be a wife before he can take you to his home. Being a wife is more than being a sexual toy but neatness, spirituality, discipline, insight, kindness etc.

4. Always know what you want in a man before saying YES I DO. There is no such thing as "I JUST LOVE YOU I DON'T KNOW WHY"

5. Any man you can compromise for will find it hard to believe you after wedding. If you can offer him your virginity before wedding then you've traded your value. If you can't stand for "NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE" You have sold your trust after wedding.

6. You can't change any man because you're not the Holy Spirit. Why will you ignore all good and spiritual brothers in fellowship, church and your group only to claim you're attracted to a carnal, sensual and whore on the street then you want him to change? You're very sick!

7. You don't look for money in a man but his manliness and the dignity of manhood in him. Be wise! Papa Zion gives you this eye opening keys.

LOVE IS SWEET  Love Life Matters

DEAR YOUNG GUYS AT THE AGE OF 25 TO 30


Don't make mistakes some of our Fathers or Senior Brothers made.

Marry now with the little you have. Don't wait to be a millionaire, Have kids early so you can grow with them. 

Grow with your kids and succeed with
your wife. You will never finish making money or achieving your plans. 

You might still not succeed at your target year. So start your life early, with consistency you will grow.

My father said this to me: _When i was 25, i was talking about making billions before i marry.

Many years later, billions didn't come, yet no kid no wife... I had an opportunity to marry the most beautiful love of my life very early, But my fear was, can i really take care of her? But right now She's married with Four grown up children. 

The guy that married her was still schooling then, but had the courage. They worked hard and succeeded together. I failed, so please if you can feed yourself, you can feed your wife. You have to believe it, marry early, don't wait.

Don't make our mistakes, I see
my childhood friends play with their kids.. 

Most of them are not doing as well as me.. But they are happier with their families..

Trust me it isn't money only, but Rather your Maturity, your
happiness depends entirely on your wisdom and the way you Handle Life. With
a well planned life they are happier.

Trust me it
isn't money, What is our problem? 
Build mansion, buy the latest Car in Town, marry Sharon stone type, but still we don't have those things we dreamt of, and of course the years we wasted, we can never have them neverrrr!!!_

Please don't be 60yrs old and your kids will still be in their 20's..What are you supposed to be at that age? Their grand father.
Please young men, take my advice seriously.
Marry, don't be afraid, that girl you are finding too many fault in has many good qualities if you look well.
Don't think you will get every thing before you
settle down. God can change your life in a blink, with a good and Focus#Copied

SEX IS SWEET BUT CAN DESTROY YOUR DESTINY.


sex is sweet but there is poison in between the legs" (A Must Read)
Most downfalls of men are caused by MULTIPLE girlfriends.
Sex is a spiritual encounter I stand to be corrected, not every girl has a good spirit,some are demon, some has
poison in between their legs.
Some are killers and destiny destroyers, be careful. Worst is a man who can't control his sexual urge.
A man who can control his sexual urge is a man who can live many years on earth.
1. Having many girlfriends does not make you a man. It only makes you a womanizer, a cheat, sinner and a boy.
2. A real man has only one woman(wife) in his life.
3. For the fact that you are good in bed does not make you a man. A real man is the man who does not run away from his responsibility but faces it squarely.
4. You don't need to sag your trousers and walk round the street before girls will love you.
Infact it is only small boys that sag trousers and it is premature little girls that fall in love with men who sag trousers.
5. Don't use and dump women. Remember the law of karma. Whatever you do, you will receive the reward.
6. If you cannot make her your wife, don't make her a mother. If she can't be your wife don't sleep with her.
7. Do not obey your erection at all times. Most times your erections mislead you to the wrong direction.
Control your erection. Don't let your erection control you. If you don't you will have few days on earth with much poverty on you.
You may insult me but it doesn't matter to me now, because am done telling you this.
8. It is not everything you see under skirt that you should hustle to eat, some skirts contain snakes that will bite you and leave you uncomfortable. Control your sexual urge. Self control and abstinence in most cases pays a lot.
9. Do not date a lady because she has sexy curves, boobs and shapes. Those things are just packaging; and
packaging can be very deceptive avoid such, don't fall for what's called the irony of Social Media

Fellow Me Maxwell Derrickson

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20 WAYS TO BEFRIEND YOUR PARTNER:



" How can I be a friend to my Lover?"

A friend is someone who understands you and adds value to your life.

The popular saying says" Marry your friend or Befriend anyone you marry".

1. Speak to her softly instead of shouting.

2. ‍Always make her smile and crack jokes for her. Stare at her face and Smile, if she asks why smiling. Tell her she's beautiful;  laugh when she cracks jokes or says something funny. Frowning always is not spiritual.

3. Walk a distance together.

4. Hang out together at eateries.

5. Watch movies( wrestling, football, and Christian films) and play games together.

6. Fulfill purpose by going into ministration together.

7. Write love letters to each other.

8. Read books together.

9. Read the Bible together.

10. Pray together.

11. Sing praises and worship together.

12. Shop for her.

13. Speak your dialect.

15. Call her sweet names ( Honey, Gem, Gold, my heartbeat, my sugar...)πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

16. Coauthor a book.

17. Cook for her.

18.  Seek her advice and follow it as the spirit leads.

19.  Discuss your plans with her.

20.  Keep your money with her. Support him financially.

Above all thy getting, befriend her, and watch things work for you in your relationship. 

Marriage is too long for you to journey with your boss, not a friend.

It's absurd for you to be in a relationship and still have opposite sex Bestie somewhere else.

A relationship thrives when you start with friendship!

Marry your friend!

Befriend your Lover!

Marry your talking mate!

Marry your purpose mate!

Marry your spiritual mate!

Marry your genotype mate! (You should marry someone your genotype is compatible with. )

Marry your playmate!

#Too_late_for_your_Relationship_to_fail
#Be_friend_your_lover
#Be_his_or_her_closest_friend