Participant #53= SHIFT AND DESPERATION: SEX THIS, SEX THAT

Prologue: 

Have you ever noticed discomfort in the eyes of someone who has been asked not to do what gives them pleasure? I think most of us experienced such discomfort when we were younger. As a kid, I would always wish I left everything for others to do, like: house chores, going for errands and even helping at the farm. 

Whenever we are asked to leave our zones of relaxation, we feel that something has been taken away from us. One thing we fail to note when corrected is that - corrections shape our now and tomorrow. We must know thus, that pleasurable things give us thát comfort and happiness we pray for; they enable us to laugh out loud and we even dance some times when there is no sound of music around our environs, all because we are happy. But should pleasurable things be  pointers to abnormalities and atrocities? 

Today, people strive to find pleasure in some material things in the society. In Nigeria, there is no fear whatsoever among some people when it comes to what makes them happy. You hear statements like: Omo, that thing deh gimme joy, omo, I no fit leave that thing, and I must do am! Should we do anything that gives us pleasure, come what may? One of the things people feel must be done to be regarded as a PERFECT and COMPLETE person in our society today is having SEX. Little wonder why when we listen to some people as they discuss about sex, we hear so much about SEX: sex this, sex that. What a shift and desperation?!

Wrong Modifications and Affirmations:

Generally, when it comes to the topic of SEX, there is usually a lot of controversies. People, especially young adults have MODIFIED the ideology behind sex, making the letter A to appear like the letter B, and vice versa. Hmm! Some Nigerian societies have made what is abnormal to look normal and what is meant to be normal to look abnormal; the shift about SEX we see and hear today needs to be questioned to know the veracity - why the desperation about SEX? Sex should be a Mathematics that presents itself. I call it the Mathematics of creation as contained in the Torah or Old Testament - "... therefore, a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh." (cf. Gen. 2:24, New RSV - Catholic Edition). Here, sex should be enjoyed and consumed without fear and it should be for pleasure between the husband and his wife. 

Know the Gist: 

We hear illusions of pleasure regarding sex today where young adults make it normal. We must remember the Mathematics of creation stated earlier. Our concern now is, why is sex overrated in modern Nigerian society? I feel sex is overrated because some people feel it is that which gives the highest happiness and pleasure. I want to take us to the time of antiquity. In the Ancient world, where one of the greatest encyclopedic scholars of Philosophy, Aristotle, in his work "The Nicomachean Ethics" (Book 2 Chapters 6-9) asserts that "virtues lie in the middle." Here, we can say that sex should NOT be overrated or wrongly done by adults but should follow the Mathematics that is; hence, making sex have its sacredness and maintaining the meaning of sex that is set for legally married people. Permit me to put to us, if the thing the too do you, go and marry. Go and marry, Paul, go and marry, Amina. 

Furthermore, sex is not meant to be a thing of pleasure among young singles, the Mathematics of creation should teach us that sex is meant for procreation and pleasure ONLY among people who are legally married. There is a drift in what is meant to be about sex because our society presents it WRONGLY as we see teenagers who are not married involve in it. This has hit the SACREDNESS of sex a dirty blow, I am afraid this might WAX even to the apex where we shall be killed whenever we mention the abnormalities in the next generations. The SACREDNESS of sex therefore, needs to be told among youths and the aged to avoid the shift and desperation.

Finally, young adults today brag about sex, challenging themselves about body counts as if it is an achievement. Let me plead - TELL ME WHO HAS HAD SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE AND WAS GIVEN A TROPHY AFTERWARDS. SHOW ME THE PERSON AND I WILL TRY TO GO FOR MY TROPHY. 

Epilogue: 

There is a great shift from the usual to the unusual but it sits well with most people because of the MODIFICATIONS and APPROVALS made by some Nigerian societies. If and only if we try to be cultured, and suppress our sexual urges, sex would be SACRED again and the Nigerian society would be great again, shunning all vices and embracing goodness. 

Peace!

By: Achoghul Terhemba Jacob.

Feast of Saint Teresa of Ávila,

Today, October 15, 2025, the Catholic Church celebrates the feast of Saint Teresa of Ávila, a Spanish mystic, writer, and Carmelite nun. Born on March 28, 1515, Saint Teresa is one of the most important figures in Catholic mysticism, renowned for her deep spirituality and significant contributions to Catholic mysticism through her writings.

Her life was marked by a series of spiritual awakenings and visions that ultimately led her to reform the Carmelite Order. With the help of Saint John of the Cross, she founded the Discalced Carmelites, a branch of the order that emphasized simplicity, poverty, and contemplation.

Saint Teresa's early life was marked by a happy childhood and a fascination with novels about chivalry. However, her life took a dramatic turn when she was struck by a serious illness and experienced a profound spiritual crisis. This led her to join the Carmelite monastery of the Incarnation at Avila, where she would later become a prominent figure in the Order's reform.

Her spirituality was characterized by her intense devotion to prayer and her desire to return to the original ideals of the Carmelite Order. She founded several monasteries in Castile, including two convents of Discalced Carmelites. Her writings, including "The Interior Castle" and "The Way, of Perfection," are considered some of the most important works of Catholic mysticism.

Some of her most notable works include "The Interior Castle," a spiritual guide that describes the journey of the soul towards God through seven stages of elevation, and "The Way of Perfection," a guidebook for her nuns, offering practical advice on prayer, humility, and community life.

Saint Teresa of Ávila's legacy extends far beyond her writings. She was a woman of unwavering faith and determination, who defied convention to follow her calling. Despite facing numerous challenges and criticisms, she remained steadfast in her commitment to her faith and her order. In recognition of her contributions to Catholic theology and spirituality, Saint Teresa was declared a Doctor of the Church by Pope Paul VI in 1970, the first woman to receive this honor alongside St. Catherine of Siena. She remains a model of devotion, compassion, and courage, and her feast day is a testament to her enduring legacy.

*⚠️ SACRILEGE IS NOT COMEDY!*

It is sad and shameful that some online skit makers now wear the soutane, stole, or even mock religious habits—all for cheap laughs and clicks. 

This is not harmless fun; it is a direct attack on what is sacred. 

The stole is not a costume, the habit is not a stage prop. 

They represent consecration, sacrifice, and holiness.

Let it be clear: to mock the sacraments and the priesthood is sacrilege, and Scripture warns—“God is not mocked” (Gal 6:7). 

Those who trade in such blasphemy are storing up judgment for themselves.

Dear friends, refuse to laugh, refuse to share, refuse to support what demeans the sacred. 

If today they distort confession and the habit, tomorrow they may target the Eucharist itself. 

We must draw the line—now.

✝️ Stand firm. Defend what is Holy.

SĘXUAL MORALITY IN AFRICA, ESPECIALLY IGBOLAND: WE NEED TO GET BACK OUR CROWN.

Do we actually know the roles sěxual rascality plays in the collapse of a culture and its people? 

What we read in the Bible about the collapse or destruction of Sọdọm and Gọmọra because of their sěxual immorality simply refers to what would happen to any nation that turns sěx into a free-for-all "fight".

No society understood this better than our Igbo ancestors. Their system of protecting sěxual morality was top-notch. 

According to Mazi Mbonu Ojike in his book My Africa, in Africa, especially in Igboland in the precolonial/Christian era, "virginity was 'the noblest of feminine possessions.'" 

He said further, "It is most scrupulously guarded and protected by the mother."

"Before and after great dances, all unmarried girls have to undergo strict biological examination by a board of old women whose sole interest is not to embarrass the girls but to ensure that the virginity of the future breeders of posterity is not being tampered with."

"Infidelity is severely punished, while chastity is lavishly rewarded. If after her wedding a girl is found to be a virgin, her husband gives her mother a special gift.” Culled from Mbonu Ojike, My Africa (London: Blandford Press, 1955), 136-137.

Using today's standards, one might ask why the laws were centred on girls rather than on both sěxes. The reasons were simple: if the girls are controlled, the boys have no choice.

Our boys were so controlled that girls would run the streets, farms and bushes almost naked without fear of being molested or arousing any man.

When St Paul was writing and warning Oyibo on the dangers of sěxual immorality, our ancestors had better things to talk about because their cultural laws had taken care of such problems. 

When we eventually became Christians, we began to battle with the Oyibo problem of sěxual immorality. If our early Igbo Christians hadn't seen culture as an enemy of Christianity, they wouldn't have destroyed the cultures that protected our sexual dignity, in a bid to become good Christians.

Today, see where we are. It is as if we are in a free-for-all sĕxual ring. STDs everywhere. Pr0stitution, something that our ancestors did not hear about, has become a household name. The crown of womanhood has vanished, and the society is nearing a collapse. 

We need to go back to our roots. We need to use the knowledge and resources we have today to find out how we can reconnect to the values that will keep us on the path created by our ancestors. We need to get back our crown.

Fada Angelo Chidi Unegbu 

THE DEAD HORSE THEORY: FACING REALITY WITH WISDOM

THE SATIRICAL METAPHOR

The “Dead Horse Theory” is a satirical metaphor that reveals how people, institutions, and even nations deal with obvious problems as if they were unsolvable mysteries. Instead of confronting the truth, they create elaborate justifications, endless strategies, and costly distractions—yet the core issue remains the same: the horse is dead.

THE SIMPLE IDEA

If you realize you’re riding a dead horse, the smartest decision you can ever make is simple: get off immediately. But in reality, many refuse to accept the obvious and end up making bizarre and wasteful choices.

THE STRANGE BEHAVIORS PEOPLE ADOPT

Instead of accepting the truth, people often:

1️⃣ Buy a new saddle, hoping it makes the horse useful again.

2️⃣ Feed the horse as if it were alive, wasting resources.

3️⃣ Change the rider, pretending the problem is leadership.

4️⃣ Fire the caretaker, blaming the wrong person.

5️⃣ Hold endless meetings on how to increase the speed of the dead horse.

6️⃣ Form committees and task forces to “analyze” the problem.

7️⃣ Spend months studying the horse, only to conclude what was already obvious: the horse is dead.

8️⃣ Compare their horse with other dead horses to justify failure.

9️⃣ Request training for the horse, as if skill could bring life back.

🔟 Allocate budgets for the training course—wasting even more.

THE HEIGHT OF DENIAL

In the end, denial reaches absurd levels. Instead of acknowledging reality, people redefine the meaning of “dead” just to convince themselves that the horse is still alive. This mindset blinds them from progress and traps them in cycles of illusion.

THE LESSON FOR LIFE AND LEADERSHIP

How many individuals, companies, and governments fall into this trap? Instead of facing the bitter truth, they live in comforting illusions. The result? Time, money, and effort are wasted on what cannot produce life.

True wisdom lies in recognizing when something no longer works, whether it’s a failing system, a toxic relationship, a broken method, or a fruitless investment. Clinging to what is dead will only keep you stuck.

THE PRINCIPLE OF ACCEPTANCE

Admitting the problem is not weakness; it is the first step toward real solutions. Only when you accept reality can you redirect your energy toward fresh opportunities, new strategies, and living solutions. Refusing to let go of a dead horse only guarantees stagnation, frustration, and wasted potential.

FINAL WORD

The Dead Horse Theory is more than a satire—it is a mirror. It asks: What dead horses are you still riding in life? Is it a habit that no longer serves you? A career path with no future? A strategy that produces no results? A relationship that drains you?

Wisdom calls us to stop pouring life into what is already gone. Courage calls us to dismount and move on. For only then can we channel our resources, strength, and vision toward what is truly alive and fruitful.

Remember: If the horse is dead, no amount of feeding, training, or committees will change that. Get off, and choose life over illusion.

THE INCONSISTENCIES IN OUR COMMUNITY'S NOMENCLATURE: SENSE OF CULTURAL IDENTITY AND ORIGINALITY UNDER THREAT.

INTRODUCTION. 

It is somewhat worrisome, and a big threat to our cultural identity and originality if various names are being assigned to our town, and various spellings are being interchangeably used for our villages, kindreds and families today. 

Akpo Town as it is supposed to be called, is no longer only being called a town, but at times called, Akpo City, and in another, Akpo Ancient Kingdom. Still in another, it is called Akpo Village.

In the same vain, the six villages in Akpo, namely: Agbaelu, Uhuala, Ogbo, Umueze, Amaife and Udo are no longer consistently spelt, but stylistically presented. The kindreds are not even spared. Everything has become a situation of "ahiazuba." But unfortunately, that is not how it is supposed to be if really we want to maintain our cultural identity, and to bequeath a legacy of originality to our upcoming generations. 

Nevertheless, a town is a town, a city is a city, and an ancient kingdom is an ancient kingdom. Also, a village is a village. They are all different from one another. Cities tend to be larger, more populous and more economically diverse than towns. Ancient kingdom has to do with kingship or monarchical systems. A village is a small human settlement, typically rural, with a small population less than that of a town.

Likewise, the names of villages and kindreds are supposed to be consistent in terms of the spellings in order not to alter their meanings and the intentions of the owners of such names, and by extension confusing the future generations. 

It is a well-known fact that if this trend is allowed unattended to for a long period, it can constitute not only a threat, but lead to a loss in our cultural identity and originality. 

This piece therefore presents a brief historical background of Akpo with it's villages, looks at the current trends as regards the subject matter, the consequences of such inconsistencies, viz: confusion, wrong communication, loss of cultural identity and originality, difficulty in record keeping and difficulty for visitors in locating our community. The way forward include: standardised naming, documentation and preservation of names, consistent spellings and education/awareness of community members. It then concludes with the leaderships at all levels joining hands with the people to correct if not to resolve the entire problems. 

BACKGROUND INFORMATION. 

Our town is Akpo, one of the fifteen (15) towns in Aguata Local Government Area, and as well as one of the one hundred and seventy-seven (177) towns in Anambra State. It has six villages, comprising namely: Agbaelu, Uhuala, Ogbo, Umueze, Amaife and Udo. Under these villages called "Ogbe," there are several kindreds called "Umunna," of which some of them have further split to form more kindreds, due to possibly, increase in population, disagreements and other reasons. Even under these kindreds called "Umunna," there are semi "Umunna" called "Imenne." Still under this "Imenne" is the immediate family, which is called "Imeulo." All these take their various names, and are recognised by such names. 

It was possibly after the civil war, i.e., after the 1970s, when great learning, awareness and better life entered into our town that people began to play with names and words, by way of modernization, hence all these changes in our community's nomenclature. Akpo instead of being called a town is either called a city or an ancient kingdom, and at times, a village. Likewise, the villages, kindreds and larger families, their names have been rewritten in styles different from how they should have been done. All these have contributed to what we are witnessing today. 

CURRENT TRENDS. 

In recent times, everything has changed. People are becoming more confused as whether Akpo is a town or a city or an ancient kingdom or even a village. But again, the truth remains, that Akpo is what it is - a town with six villages!

Agbaelu is being written as "Agbaenu," "Agbelu" and "Agbenu," Uhuala in some cases is written as "Uhualla." Ogbo seems to be annexing "r," changing it to "Ogbor." For Amaife, in some cases, one sees "Amife." For Umueze and Udo, only God knows whether they will soon change theirs to "Umuezeh"  and "Udoh" respectively. Even on letterheads, belonging to some organisations in our different villages, they commit this misplaced identity. That simply means that something is wrong where different names and spellings are used for the same place. 

THE CONSEQUENCES OF SUCH INCONSISTENCIES.

When any community is not consistent in it's nomenclature, the followings are the consequences:

1. Confusion: When different names and spellings emerge for the same name, there is bound to be confusion in the minds of the community members and outsiders as regards the actual name and it's spellings. 

2. Wrong communication: Inconsistent nomenclature or naming can lead to misunderstandings and wrong communications, particularly in official matters, e.g., government. 

3. Loss of Cultural identity and originality: What a community is known and remembered for can be lost overtime because the name sounds differently. The originality is lost.

4. Difficulty in record keeping: Where inconsistencies exist, to keep records using different names and spellings for same thing becomes difficult. Example, Agbaelu and Agbaenu or Uhuala and Uhualla might sound as two different brothers respectively in future, hence records keeping difficulty. 

5. Difficulty for visitors in locating the community: Visitors might at times find it difficult in locating a place that has several spellings and names for same place. 

WAY FORWARD. 

Now, how do we solve the above problems? The way forward include the followings:

1. Standardised or normalised naming system: For example, Akpo should be Akpo Town and not Akpo Villa or Akpo City. That standard should be maintained. 

2. Documentation and preservation of names: Names of various villages, kindreds and others should be written down and preserved for posterity. 

3. Consistent spellings: Consistent spellings are highly required to avoid any ambiguity in future. 

4. Education and awareness: The community members should be made aware of the dangers inherent in distorting the names. 

CONCLUSION. 

In conclusion, it is obvious that inconsistencies in community's nomenclature or naming and spellings can bring about loss in cultural identity and originality. It is therefore important that the leadership at various levels of our town, Akpo, the villages, the kindreds and the families should join hands together to make sure that all the above recommendations for the way forward are duly observed, to be able to resolve the issues. 

Peace!

Authored By: Jerry Amuzie Okpalanedu, Lagos. 

August 2025.