THE INCONSISTENCIES IN OUR COMMUNITY'S NOMENCLATURE: SENSE OF CULTURAL IDENTITY AND ORIGINALITY UNDER THREAT.

INTRODUCTION. 

It is somewhat worrisome, and a big threat to our cultural identity and originality if various names are being assigned to our town, and various spellings are being interchangeably used for our villages, kindreds and families today. 

Akpo Town as it is supposed to be called, is no longer only being called a town, but at times called, Akpo City, and in another, Akpo Ancient Kingdom. Still in another, it is called Akpo Village.

In the same vain, the six villages in Akpo, namely: Agbaelu, Uhuala, Ogbo, Umueze, Amaife and Udo are no longer consistently spelt, but stylistically presented. The kindreds are not even spared. Everything has become a situation of "ahiazuba." But unfortunately, that is not how it is supposed to be if really we want to maintain our cultural identity, and to bequeath a legacy of originality to our upcoming generations. 

Nevertheless, a town is a town, a city is a city, and an ancient kingdom is an ancient kingdom. Also, a village is a village. They are all different from one another. Cities tend to be larger, more populous and more economically diverse than towns. Ancient kingdom has to do with kingship or monarchical systems. A village is a small human settlement, typically rural, with a small population less than that of a town.

Likewise, the names of villages and kindreds are supposed to be consistent in terms of the spellings in order not to alter their meanings and the intentions of the owners of such names, and by extension confusing the future generations. 

It is a well-known fact that if this trend is allowed unattended to for a long period, it can constitute not only a threat, but lead to a loss in our cultural identity and originality. 

This piece therefore presents a brief historical background of Akpo with it's villages, looks at the current trends as regards the subject matter, the consequences of such inconsistencies, viz: confusion, wrong communication, loss of cultural identity and originality, difficulty in record keeping and difficulty for visitors in locating our community. The way forward include: standardised naming, documentation and preservation of names, consistent spellings and education/awareness of community members. It then concludes with the leaderships at all levels joining hands with the people to correct if not to resolve the entire problems. 

BACKGROUND INFORMATION. 

Our town is Akpo, one of the fifteen (15) towns in Aguata Local Government Area, and as well as one of the one hundred and seventy-seven (177) towns in Anambra State. It has six villages, comprising namely: Agbaelu, Uhuala, Ogbo, Umueze, Amaife and Udo. Under these villages called "Ogbe," there are several kindreds called "Umunna," of which some of them have further split to form more kindreds, due to possibly, increase in population, disagreements and other reasons. Even under these kindreds called "Umunna," there are semi "Umunna" called "Imenne." Still under this "Imenne" is the immediate family, which is called "Imeulo." All these take their various names, and are recognised by such names. 

It was possibly after the civil war, i.e., after the 1970s, when great learning, awareness and better life entered into our town that people began to play with names and words, by way of modernization, hence all these changes in our community's nomenclature. Akpo instead of being called a town is either called a city or an ancient kingdom, and at times, a village. Likewise, the villages, kindreds and larger families, their names have been rewritten in styles different from how they should have been done. All these have contributed to what we are witnessing today. 

CURRENT TRENDS. 

In recent times, everything has changed. People are becoming more confused as whether Akpo is a town or a city or an ancient kingdom or even a village. But again, the truth remains, that Akpo is what it is - a town with six villages!

Agbaelu is being written as "Agbaenu," "Agbelu" and "Agbenu," Uhuala in some cases is written as "Uhualla." Ogbo seems to be annexing "r," changing it to "Ogbor." For Amaife, in some cases, one sees "Amife." For Umueze and Udo, only God knows whether they will soon change theirs to "Umuezeh"  and "Udoh" respectively. Even on letterheads, belonging to some organisations in our different villages, they commit this misplaced identity. That simply means that something is wrong where different names and spellings are used for the same place. 

THE CONSEQUENCES OF SUCH INCONSISTENCIES.

When any community is not consistent in it's nomenclature, the followings are the consequences:

1. Confusion: When different names and spellings emerge for the same name, there is bound to be confusion in the minds of the community members and outsiders as regards the actual name and it's spellings. 

2. Wrong communication: Inconsistent nomenclature or naming can lead to misunderstandings and wrong communications, particularly in official matters, e.g., government. 

3. Loss of Cultural identity and originality: What a community is known and remembered for can be lost overtime because the name sounds differently. The originality is lost.

4. Difficulty in record keeping: Where inconsistencies exist, to keep records using different names and spellings for same thing becomes difficult. Example, Agbaelu and Agbaenu or Uhuala and Uhualla might sound as two different brothers respectively in future, hence records keeping difficulty. 

5. Difficulty for visitors in locating the community: Visitors might at times find it difficult in locating a place that has several spellings and names for same place. 

WAY FORWARD. 

Now, how do we solve the above problems? The way forward include the followings:

1. Standardised or normalised naming system: For example, Akpo should be Akpo Town and not Akpo Villa or Akpo City. That standard should be maintained. 

2. Documentation and preservation of names: Names of various villages, kindreds and others should be written down and preserved for posterity. 

3. Consistent spellings: Consistent spellings are highly required to avoid any ambiguity in future. 

4. Education and awareness: The community members should be made aware of the dangers inherent in distorting the names. 

CONCLUSION. 

In conclusion, it is obvious that inconsistencies in community's nomenclature or naming and spellings can bring about loss in cultural identity and originality. It is therefore important that the leadership at various levels of our town, Akpo, the villages, the kindreds and the families should join hands together to make sure that all the above recommendations for the way forward are duly observed, to be able to resolve the issues. 

Peace!

Authored By: Jerry Amuzie Okpalanedu, Lagos. 

August 2025.

KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHAPEL AND A CHURCH THAT MOST CATHOLICS NEVER LEARNED 😳🤔

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Many Catholics use the words chapel and church interchangeably.

But in the wisdom of the Church, these two sacred spaces are not the same.

A church is a sacred building set apart by the bishop for public worship.

It is canonically erected, typically with a parish community, and most importantly, it has an altar where the Eucharist is celebrated, and a tabernacle where the Blessed Sacrament is reserved.

In this context, we mean “church” as a parish church, the central place of worship for a local Catholic community under the care of a parish priest.

Every Catholic parish has a church.

It is the heart of the community.

It is where Sunday Mass is obligatory.

It is where baptisms, weddings, and funerals are ordinarily held.

It is under the authority of a parish priest.

But a chapel is different.

A chapel is a sacred space, often smaller, and not always open to the public.

It may be located inside a hospital, school, convent, seminary, airport, or even a private home.

Mass can be offered there, but chapels are not parish churches.

They might not have a full-time priest and may not reserve the Eucharist permanently.

Some chapels are oratories, canonically designated places primarily set aside for prayer.

Depending on their status, they may or may not have regular sacraments.

Here’s the key difference: 🤚

A Parish church is established by the Church for the entire People of God, as a place of public, communal worship.

A chapel is often created for a specific group (e.g. Seminaries, religious bothers & sisters in a convent, mission school, airport, hospital,...), or for private worship, not the wider parish community.

Think of it this way:

🏰 A church gathers the People of God.

🕍 A chapel serves people where they are,  in schools, hospitals, or houses of formation.

That’s why Mass in a hospital chapel can fulfill your Sunday obligation if it is a valid Mass celebrated by a Catholic priest (cf. Canon 1248 §1).

However, Catholics are ordinarily called to participate in Sunday Mass within their parish church, as a sign of belonging to the wider Church community.

The church is the home of the whole Body of Christ.

The chapel is a lamp lit in hidden places, where the Body of Christ is hurting, praying, recovering, or consecrated in silence.

WHAT ABOUT THE ADORATION CHAPEL?

Many people also refer to Adoration Chapels as “churches.”

But we must be clear:

An Adoration Chapel is a chapel, not a church.

It is a sacred space dedicated to Eucharistic Adoration,

A place where the Blessed Sacrament is exposed or reserved for silent, personal worship.

While deeply holy and spiritually powerful, an Adoration Chapel is not a parish church:

✝️ Mass is usually not celebrated there

⛪ It does not replace Sunday Mass obligation

🙏 It nourishes personal prayer, not the central liturgical life of the Church

Think of it this way:

- A parish church is where the family of God gathers together

- An Adoration Chapel is where individual hearts withdraw to keep watch with Jesus

Both are holy.

But they are not the same.

So the next time you say, “I went to the chapel,” or “I’m at the church,” ask yourself:

👉 Is this a parish church, a private chapel, or an adoration chapel?

✅ Respect the difference

✅ Reverence the space

✅ Worship the God who sanctifies both

God bless you 🙏 

#CatholicsOnlineClass

ST. ANTHONY'S 13 MIRACLES

ST. ANTHONY'S 13 MIRACLES

1) SERMON TO THE FISH

The story goes that one day Anthony went to Rimini where there were a lot of heretics. He started to preach, but they did not want to listen to him, and they even mocked him. In a dramatic gesture, Anthony went to the seashore, saying, “Because you show yourself unworthy of God's word, behold, I turn to the fish so that your unbelief may be shown up more clearly”. As he spoke of God's care for those creatures that live in the waters, a shoal of fish swam near to the bank, partly thrusting themselves out of the water and appearing to listen carefully. At the end of his sermon, the Saint blessed them and they swam away. In the meantime, so deep was the impression made upon the onlookers that many hurried back to the city imploring their friends to come and see the miracle, while others burst into tears asking forgiveness. Soon after a great multitude gathered around the Saint, who exhorted them to turn back to God. So through this sermon, the city of Rimini was purged of heresy.

2) ALEARDINO'S GLASS

During the Renaissance, artists drew inspiration from the remains of Greco-Roman antiquity, and this is why all the characters of the scene are dressed as ancient Romans. One day a knight called Aleardino da Salvaterra arrived in Padua. This knight had always despised Catholics, believing them to be ignorant and gullible. One day, while dining, his tablemates started telling him with great enthusiasm of the many miracles performed by St Anthony. As a reaction, Aleardino emptied his glass and said, “If he whom you consider to be a saint will prevent this glass from breaking when it hits the ground I will believe everything you are telling me about him.” He then threw the glass to the floor with all his strength, and quite unbelievably, the glass did not break. It is even said that the hard tiles on which it fell broke instead of the glass. Faced by this inexplicable phenomenon, Aleardino believed and was converted.

3) THE HERETIC'S MULE

The city of Toulouse was a centre of the Cather heresy, which denied the goodness of the material world and also the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Anthony engaged in several public debates with them but, although they could not out-argue him, they were not yet ready to give in. One day one of them demanded a miraculous proof, “If you can make my mule bow down before what you call the Body of Christ, I will believe”. Anthony didn't want to put God to the test, but naturally there was no way he could avoid this challenge, and so he agreed, leaving the outcome to God. For three days the heretic kept his mule penned up without food. On the third day, a great crowd gathered in the city square. Anthony celebrated Mass in a little chapel and at the end he came out carrying the Blessed Sacrament. Meanwhile, the hungry mule had also been brought along, and a suitable fodder was placed in front of the starved animal. Anthony called out, “Mule! Come here and show reverence to your Creator!” At once the animal came towards Anthony and bowed its head and knees before the Sacrament. The owner of the mule and many heretics were reconciled to the Church.

4) THE RE-ATTACHED FOOT

A young man of Padua, called Leonardo, went to St Anthony to make his confession. Among his other sins, he confessed that he had once kicked his mother so hard that she had suffered a nasty fall. Anthony muttered under his breath, “The foot that strikes father or mother deserved to be cut off.” Of course he did not intend his words to be taken literally. The young man, not understanding the meaning of his words, returned home, took a hatchet and chopped off his foot. The news soon reached the ears of the poor Anthony. He followed the youth's grieving parents to their house and made his way to the young man's bedroom. He prayed, holding the severed foot close to the leg, made the sign of the cross, and instantly the foot became attached to the leg. The young man jumped up, giving praise to the Lord and thanksgiving to Anthony, who had healed his leg in this truly miraculous way.

5) THE DROWNED CHILD

We are in Lisbon, Portugal. A boy called Parrisio decides to go on a boat trip with other boys, but without telling his parents. Suddenly, a violent storm breaks out and the boat capsizes. While the other boys, who were older and knew how to swim, managed to save themselves, Parrisio drowned. Upon hearing this tragedy, the boy's mother ran to the beach and pleaded with the sailors to recuperate the body. They lowered their nets and soon were able to draw out Parrisio's lifeless body, which they gave to the desperate mother. On the next day the family wanted to take the body to church for the funeral and subsequent burial, but the mother did not allow this. She continued to pray to St. Anthony, promising that if her child were brought back to life she would consecrate him to the Franciscan Order. On the third day, in front of his parents and relatives, the boy suddenly awoke as though from a deep sleep; the mother's prayers to the Lord, through the intercession of St. Anthony, had been answered. When he became older Parrisio entered the Franciscan Order, and always joyfully told his fellow friars of the wonder God had performed for him through the intercession of St. Anthony.

6) TOMMY & ST. ANTHONY'S BREAD

Tommy was a 20-month- old boy who lived with his parents near the Basilica. His mother had left him playing in the kitchen, where there was a large pot on the fire with boiling water in it. The little boy took a stool and started to peep into pot. He saw his own reflection and wanted to touch it, but in doing so he fell into the boiling water. Immediately afterward, the mother was back, and when she saw Tommy's feet sticking up out of the pot, she run to pull him out, but the boy was already dead.

The poor mother's screams roused the whole neighbourhood, and soon a crowd had gathered at the house, including some friars from the Basilica. Seeing the friars, the woman was reminded of the wonderful miracles done by St. Anthony, and began to pray loudly for his help, promising to donate her child's weight in bread to the poor if he were restored to life. While the mother was still praying, Tommy arose as if from a deep sleep.

7) EURILIA COMES BACK TO LIFE

A young girl in Padua called Eurilia had followed her mother in one of her visits to an old lady. Eurilia however, stayed outside to gather sticks and twigs for the fire. After a while, at the end of her visit, the mother came out and found her daughter floating on a muddy pond, face up. Somehow Eurilia had slipped into the water and drowned. The poor woman waded in and dragged the body up on to the road, but the young girl seemed lifeless. The poor mother started to cry and a small crowd gathered around her. One of the men present saw that the girl was cold and rigid, and said that she was dead. At this point in her anguish the mother begged the Saint to pray to Christ to save her daughter, “Oh please, St. Anthony, give me back my daughter.” Shortly after this simple prayer everyone could see that Eurilia's lips began to twitch, and then she started to throw out the water she had swallowed. And so, after a short while, through the merits of St. Anthony, Eurilia grew warm again and came back to life.

8) A DEAD MAN SPEAKS

In Lisbon, the city where St. Anthony was born, there were two people who hated each other to death. One evening the son of one of them met the son from the rival family, which was living close to St. Anthony's parents. Filled with hatred, and seeing that no one else was around, he stabbed the other young man to death.

He then buried the corpse in the garden of Anthony's father. Martin, Anthony's father, tried to prove his innocence, but the grisly evidence found in the family garden was enough to convict the poor man of the murder.

Just when things were at their worst, God revealed to Anthony, who was in Padua, the plight of his father. Immediately, the Saint obtained permission to go away for a night. The distance from Padua to Lisbon is approximately 1,200 miles, but Anthony was there in a couple of hours through divine intervention. In the court room the Saint asked that the body of the murdered man be produced immediately. Anthony approached the corpse and, in a firm voice, asked the man to tell who had killed him. To the amazement of all, the corpse sat up and clearly said the name of the murderer and attested the innocence of Anthony's father, who was freed at once. The revived man then turned to Anthony and asked absolution from his sins, then he died again. Miraculously, the next day the Saint was back in Padua. After all, he had asked permission to be away only over night.

9) THE MISER'S HEART

According to the story, the funeral of a rich man was being celebrated with great pomp in a city in Tuscany. Anthony was present, and is said to have commented that the dead man did not deserve such honour since he had exploited and oppressed the poor. “His heart is in his money-box”, said the Saint, echoing our Lord's words that “where your treasure is, there your heart will be too”.

So far, so good; but the story goes on to say that, following Anthony's words, a surgeon was called in, who cut open the dead body and found no heart! A little later, when the family opened the dead man's treasure chest, there was the heart! As a result, the dead man was not buried in the splendid mausoleum that he had prepared for himself, but in a cave by the river. In the center of the fresco you can see the surgeon opening the body of the miser, and on the left a relative of the rich man who has just found his heart in the money-box.

10) A VIOLENT HUSBAND

This miracle took place in a city in Tuscany. There was a knight in the area who was outstanding for his nobility and his wealth, but he easily gave way to outbursts of anger. One day, his wife, a virtuous lady, probably replied to him harshly, and he was overcome with rage. He beat her, raining punches and kicks upon her; he dragged her by her hair all throughout the house; eventually he stabbed her, leaving her at the point of death.

Servants and family members picked the woman up and gently laid her down on her bed.

In the meantime, the knight began to regret his beastly behaviour, and ran to St. Anthony, who was living in the city in that period. The man fervently begged St. Anthony to come and help his poor wife. The saint hurried to the house together with the husband; he knelt down, asking God to give the dying woman life and health. When Anthony prayed over her, she rose up completely well again.

11) THE SPEAKING INFANT

A nobleman was very jealous of his wife. He had no reason to doubt of her love and fidelity, but he was easy prey to slander, and so, when his wife had their first child, he refused to recognize the baby as his own. He was more than sure that the child was the fruit of his wife's infidelity.

No matter how much the woman tried to assure him that she had not been with another man, he continued to reject his infant son.

In her desperation the wife and mother came to St. Anthony for help. The Saint talked to the nobleman for hours, and finally succeeded in making him see the absurdity behind his jealousy. Just then a nurse brought in the infant. Instantly, his old state of mind returned. At this point Anthony turned to the child and said, "In the name of Jesus Christ, speak and tell who your father is!" The infant pointed to the nobleman and, in a voice of a child years older, he said, "There is my father!" With that the father broke down in tears and took the child in his arms. This is how Anthony saved a family and a marriage from the pitfalls of gossip and slander.

12) THE LIBERATION OF PADUA

A few years after St. Anthony's death, Ezzelino extended his dominion by brute force to all of the main cities in the Veneto Region: Verona, Vicenza, Treviso, Feltre, Belluno and Padua.

In 1254, four years after the death of Emperor Frederick II, Ezzelino was excommunicated by Pope Innocent IV, who also launched a crusade against him. Padua was therefore besieged by the Pope's forces, which wanted to free the city of Ezzelino's tyranny. The Blessed Luke asked for St. Anthony's help so that the pope's army may be successful. Naturally, it's not only Blessed Luke who was praying, but with him were praying the citizens of Padua who were still in bondage within the city's walls.

St. Anthony appeared to two Franciscan friars (one of them is probably the Blessed Luke Belludi), and foretold them about the imminent liberation of Padua from Ezzelino's tyranny. And this is what actually occurred in 1256 when Ezzelino's troops were driven out from Padua. The citizens of the city were finally free; their prayers had been answered through the intercession of St. Anthony.

13) THE SAINT OF MIRACLES

As we know Anthony died in 1231 and was buried for the time being in a little church dedicated to the Virgin Mary Mater Domini, Mother of God, while waiting for the Basilica to be at least partially completed so that the body could be kept in a much worthier tomb. His funeral took place on the following Tuesday. Thousands and thousands of people followed his coffin, and they were all crying like babies because they saw him as a father, and not because he was a priest, Father Anthony, but because he was a real father to them. He had generated faith in them, and was constantly defending them. On the day of the funeral, a woman came whose name deserves to be remembered. She was called Cunizza, and had been ill for a year. A great tumor had formed on her shoulder, and she was only able to walk by hobbling along with the aid of crutches. Coming to the tomb, where Anthony had just been buried in, she prostrated herself in prayer. A short while later she realised that the swelling had disappeared, leaving her skin smooth and clear. She threw aside her crutches and stood upright, with tears of joy, and she went home giving thanks to God and her dear friend St. Anthony.

And this was the first miracle that happened here, around St. Anthony's Tomb. The news spread rapidly, and people who were sick in the soul and body started coming to the Tomb in ever greater numbers. 

ABOUT HER SOUTHERN LADY PARTS (Because this conversation needs to be had)

12 THINGS I WISH EVERY LADY KNEW ABOUT HER SOUTHERN LADY PARTS (Because this conversation needs to be had)

This might be the most informative and empowering post you’ll read on this topic.

There is so much silence, shame, and silliness surrounding women’s bodies, especially when it comes to the vagina. For many of us, we were raised to treat it like some ‘secret place’ nobody should mention. And even now as grown women, some of us still carry unnecessary guilt, fear, or confusion about this part of our body. 

It is time we changed that.

So here is a list of 12 things I really wish every lady would know (and believe) about her lady bits:

First things first.

Let us get our names right. What we usually call the vagina is actually the vulva(the clitoris, labia, urethra and all that you can see on the outside). The vagina is the stretchy tunnel inside. It is important you know this because it helps you understand your own body better, and not feel lost in conversations about your own health.

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1. YOUR VAGINA IS NOT DIRTY

Let me start here because society has done a number on us. It is a self-cleaning organ, meaning that it doesn’t need your ‘help’ to be clean. The discharge you sometimes see is proof that it is doing its job. You don’t need to use any fancy soaps, douching products, or herbal concoctions. 

Stop scrubbing your vulva like it is a bathroom tile.🙄 Just rinse with clean water when you bathe, and maybe use mild, unscented soap. Anything more than that is an overkill. And quite honestly, most infections come from all these unnecessary things we’re using to ‘clean’ it. Please, respect its supreme intelligence and just let it be.

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2. VAGINAL DISCHARGE IS NORMAL

You are not ‘abnormal’ because you see discharge in your pants. In fact, it’s a sign that your body is functioning properly. Vaginal discharge helps keep things clean and balanced. It can change throughout your cycle. Sometimes it is stretchy and clear, sometimes thick and white, sometimes more than usual. That is very normal. It only becomes a problem if it starts itching, smelling fishy, burning, or turns greenish, grey, or thick and chunky like cheese. Then it’s time to see a doctor. But discharge in itself is just your body being a genius.😉

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3. YOU DON’T NEED TO SMELL LIKE FLOWERS

There’s a whole industry harvesting women’s bodily insecurity for profit. They try to convince women to spray, perfume, and powder themselves down there. Please, your vagina is not a bottle of air freshener. It has a natural scent, and that scent changes depending on where you are in your cycle, your sweat, your hormones, your activity levels, and even what you eat. 

A healthy vagina will smell like a body part, not a garden. A clean vagina should smell like… a clean vagina, not strawberries or vanilla. A vagina that smells like perfume is probably irritated or imbalanced. As long as it doesn’t smell foul or fishy, you’re fine. Do not let anyone sell you shame wrapped in fragrance.

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4. YOUR VAGINA’S APPEARANCE IS NORMAL

Just like faces, vaginas come in all shapes, sizes, and colours, and every variation is beautiful and normal. Some labia are small and tucked in. Some are big and hang out. Some are dark. Some are pinkish. Some are uneven. Some look like nothing you’ve ever seen on the internet. All of them are normal. There’s no such thing as a 'perfect' vagina. The ones they show in the media have often been edited or surgically altered…or just naturally plain different, not better or more beautiful. Please stop comparing yours. Your vagina is fine just the way it is. No one should make you feel otherwise.

You can even sing for it in Bruno Mars’ voice: ‘You are beautiful, just the way you are’.😂

Moving on.

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5. YOUR COLOUR IS BEAUTIFUL 

The skin around your vagina may be darker than the rest of your body. That’s normal. It is even more common in women of colour like black women. Bleaching can damage your skin and open you up to risks. In fact, if you have a vaginal delivery, stitching you up will be a problem because the skin there will have been thinned out by bleaching. You must not be the same shade all over, my lady. Please don’t chase a beauty standard that was never meant to honour you. It’s not like the men themselves are the same shade all over.😏

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6. PUBIC HAIR IS NOT A PROBLEM 

Pubic hair is not dirty, it is not shameful, and it is not disgusting. That hair is there to protect your vagina from friction and bacteria. Whether you shave, wax, trim, or leave it completely natural is completely up to you. If you want to grow a jungle there or clear the field totally, just keep a good intimate hygiene. Dazzol.

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7. COTTON IS YOUR FRIEND

I know we all love to slay, but please let your vagina breathe. Constant tight jeans, nylon pants, and non-cotton underwear can cause sweating and irritation, which may lead to infections. Breathable, cotton underwear helps to reduce moisture and prevent infections. Choose comfort and health over fashion whenever you can. And do not be afraid to go pantless at night to allow for express ventilation down there. T-for Tenks.😊

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8. YOUR HYMEN IS NOT A CERTIFICATE OF YOUR VIRGINITY

A virgin is someone who has not had sexual relations, not merely someone with a present hymen. Please let this sink in.

The hymen can stretch or tear from many things like sports, use of tampons, or even naturally. It doesn’t mean you are no longer a virgin. Also, some women are born without a hymen. Does it mean they were born ‘unvirgined’?😂

Virginity is a concept, not a body part. Let’s be guided, please.

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9. AGEING IS NORMAL DOWN THERE TOO

Your vagina will change just like your face changes. The skin may not look the same at 40 as it did at 15. The colour may darken, it may sag, it I may fold, and that is perfectly fine. All those changes are proof of life lived. Stop stressing and warring with your own body.

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10. IT IS OKAY TO LOOK AT IT

I’m certain that a good number of you reading this do not even know what you look like down there. A lot of women feel awkward or even ashamed exploring their own body, yet still want to feel confident and in control. Sis, it starts with knowing. Get a mirror. Get familiar. That’s your body. There’s nothing unholy about it.

You don’t yet love and accept your body but you want somebody’s son to love and accept it. No be juju be that?🙄

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11. YOUR UNDERWEAR CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR VAGINAL HEALTH.

If you have ever noticed your panties looking a bit bleached or faded in the crotch area, relax. It’s not your detergent, and nothing is wrong with you.

Vaginal discharge is naturally acidic, with a typical vaginal pH ranging from 3.8 to 4.5. This acidity is mainly due to the presence of lactic acid-producing bacteria which help keep harmful bacteria and infections in check. 

Over time, it can lighten or fade dark-coloured underwear. That’s normal.

Here is what to look out for:

- If the bleaching happens gradually over multiple wears, you’re good.

– If it happens after just one wear, or way too frequently, it might mean your vaginal pH is a bit too acidic. Could be stress, dehydration, or even a bacterial imbalance.

– If your underwear never bleaches at all, it could also mean your pH is off… maybe you have slight less acidic discharge, which can be normal as well.

So yes, your panty can be your low-budget pH tester. Pay attention. If anything feels off, check in with your body (or your doctor).

Generally, the fading is not dirt. It is simple chemistry, and your body doing exactly what it's meant to. 

But if it bothers you, wear pantyliners or rotate your underwear more often. Be careful to not overuse pantyliners because the nylon part that sticks to your panty can prevent ventilation and trap in moisture. This can lead to imbalance of PH, leading to overgrowth of harmful bacteria, and subsequent infections.

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12. YOU NEED REGULAR MEDICAL CHECK-UPS

We have talked about washing, bleaching, pantyliners, all of that, but let us talk about actual health care.

A lot of people think if you’re not sexually active, you don’t need to worry about infections or anything going wrong. That’s not true.

You do not have to be sexually active to get certain infections. Let me say it louder for those at the back: Virgins can get infections too.

Things like bacterial vaginosis (BV) or yeast infections don’t always come from sex. BV just simply means your vagina’s good bacteria got disturbed somehow, and yeast infections happen when fungus decides to throw a party down there without permission.

If you do any of the forbidden practices I mentioned earlier that hurt your vaginal health, these infections are likely to come. In addition, stress and high sugar consumption can contribute, because yeast loves sugar. Taking too much antibiotics can kill even the good bacteria and cause problems. Wearing damp panties or staying in damp clothes too long (like after working out or swimming) too.

Sometimes, what starts as ‘ordinary’ discharge or itching can mess up your cycle, mess with your fertility, or even increase your risk for cervical cancer if left untreated.

Some infections don’t even make noise. They hide and cause long-term issues silently.

What to do:

If you're sexually active:

Start getting Pap smears from age 21. This checks for cervical cancer.

Run STI tests regularly, even if ‘he's faithful’.

Pay attention if sex suddenly hurts, or if there's bleeding, odour, or anything weird.

If you're NOT sexually active:

You might not need Pap smears or invasive pelvic exams yet. But if something is itching, smelling off, or giving you funny signals, please don’t just pray it away. Go and see a doctor.

You can do external ultrasounds or simple, gentle exams that don’t require going inside if needed.

Going for checkups doesn't mean you've done something wrong. Your vagina deserves medical care.

And don’t Google symptoms and declare yourself finished. Google will tell you it’s cancer even if it's yeast infection from your high sugar consumption. Just go see a doctor.

**********

Bonus for the married: 

SEX SHOULD NOT BE PAINFUL.

If you feel pain consistently during sex, something may be off. It could be dryness, trauma, lack of foreplay, tight pelvic muscles, an infection, or an underlying condition. Pain is your body’s way of talking. Please, listen. Seek help. Don’t endure in silence. You deserve comfort and pleasure too.

A lot of us grew up thinking that if you don’t orgasm during penetrative sex, something is wrong with you. It’s not true. The clitoris is where most women experience pleasure. In fact, there is no other known function of this small but mighty organ. Methinks God put it there solely for women to enjoy.☺️ 

So, no, you are not ‘difficult’ if penetration doesn’t do it for you. Penetration alone does it for a small percentage of women. You’re just human. This marriage thing is for a long time, so explore, get attuned with your body, communicate, and don’t feel shame about your needs.

*

I hope I have done something for you today. If you found this information useful, do well to share to inform and empower other women.

Much love,

Chinaza Favour

****

P.S: Can I use feminine washes?

Well, you don’t need them, but if you prefer to use one, make sure it is fragrance-free, gynecologist-approved, gentle, and for external use (the vulva) only. If it itches or irritates for any reason and at any point, just remember that your vagina was fine before anyone tried to sell you cucumber-mint freshness.

You’re welcome.❤️

A PSYCHOLOGICAL AND TRAUMATOLOGICAL ANALYSIS OF MRS. CHINASA ODIKA’S INTERVIEW AND PUBLIC RESPONSE

A PSYCHOLOGICAL AND TRAUMATOLOGICAL ANALYSIS OF MRS. CHINASA ODIKA’S INTERVIEW AND PUBLIC RESPONSE

An Exordium

The recent interview granted by Mrs. Chinasa Odika to E-Parrot Umelechi has sparked widespread public reaction. Many critics have condemned her tone, asserting that she showed no remorse, particularly because she boldly stated that "all women are doing it," referring to extramarital affairs. However, such a reaction overlooks the psychological depth of trauma, shame, and defense mechanisms that often manifest in the face of public humiliation and social stigma.

1. Understanding Defense Mechanisms: Freudian Perspective

In Freudian psychology, defense mechanisms are unconscious strategies the ego uses to protect itself from anxiety, guilt, shame, or unacceptable feelings. These are not signs of evil or defiance they are signs of a soul trying to survive inner or outer collapse.

From the interview, Mrs. Odika’s boldness and her generalizing statement about other women "all women are doing it" can be understood through several possible defense mechanisms:

a. Projection

By attributing her own wrong behaviour to others ("all women are doing it"), she may be unconsciously attempting to distribute the guilt so as not to carry the crushing weight of shame alone. Projection helps reduce self-blame, especially when one feels morally isolated.

b. Rationalization

She might be justifying her past actions by normalizing them, framing them within a broader societal context where such behavior is not unusual. This is a psychological survival response to mitigate internal dissonance and public ridicule.

c. Reaction Formation or False Bravado

What appears as boldness may actually be false courage, masking deep emotional pain. In trauma psychology, people often display exaggerated strength or denial to avoid being emotionally overwhelmed. Her boldness could be a shield, not an absence of remorse.

d. Dissociation

In severe public shame, individuals can dissociate from the intensity of the moment, appearing numb or unaffected not because they are heartless, but because the emotional overload is unbearable.

2. Psychological Effects of Public Shaming

Public shaming, especially of a sexual nature, can have devastating psychological consequences. The act of her sex video being recorded years ago according to her interview and only recently leaked indicates intentional harm by others. Research in trauma psychology shows that non-consensual exposure of private life, particularly sexuality, often leads to:

1. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Flashbacks, nightmares, fear of public spaces, paranoia, and a loss of basic safety.

2. Depression and Anxiety Disorders: Helplessness, despair, social withdrawal, and even suicidal ideation.

3. Complex Trauma (C-PTSD): Prolonged exposure to humiliation and verbal abuse, such as the kind she’s facing now, can impair self-esteem, emotional regulation, and identity formation.

Shaming someone in such a way especially a woman in a deeply patriarchal society results in double victimization: first by the sexual act being exposed, and second by the mob justice of the public.

3. Trauma, Gender, and Cultural Violence

In cultures where women are disproportionately shamed for sexual "sins", a woman like Mrs. Odika becomes an archetypal scapegoat. While men involved often escape scrutiny (Ichie Obiora, in this case, has received less public outcry), the woman becomes the symbol of moral failure. This is psychological violence disguised as cultural righteousness.

4. Clinical Perspective on Healing

If society continues to shame her, this woman could spiral into self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, or a complete psychological breakdown. What she needs now is not condemnation but professional support, compassionate pastoral care, and community reintegration.

The task of a compassionate society is not to mock the wounded, but to bandage the bleeding. If we continue to laugh while someone psychologically bleeds, we are no longer moral we are cruel.

Finally, Mrs. Chinasa Odika’s response in the interview is best understood as a complex defense against psychological annihilation. Her boldness is not a lack of remorse, but a desperate form of self-preservation. Public shaming is never a tool of healing it is a weapon of destruction. Her healing, like that of any broken soul, must come through truth, justice, mercy, and love.

As psychologists, pastors, and citizens, we must ask ourselves: What kind of society do we become when we devour the wounded instead of helping them stand again?

Shalom Haverim! 

© Rev. Fr. Peter Uche Onuoha

THE MORE SEX YOU HAVE WITH HER, THE MORE POWER SHE HAS TO DESTROY YOU

THE MORE SEX YOU HAVE WITH HER, THE MORE POWER SHE HAS TO DESTROY YOU.(Sexual access without purpose is emotional suicide for men).Let’s talk like men, Because many of you are confusing orgasm with victory. You think frequent sex means you’re in control?No. You’re the one being played.Every time you sleep with her, something happens in your mind that you can’t control.You bond.You soften.You start to tolerate nonsense.Your masculine edge? Gone.Your emotional balance? Hijacked.Your purpose? Now competing with her body.She doesn’t need witchcraft. Sex is the spell.She gets inside your head without touching your brain.She starts living rent-free in your thoughts.You wake up thinking of her.You sleep craving her.You obey her just to keep the access flowing.You think you’re in a relationship. But really—you’re in a trap.You’re negotiating your self-worth in exchange for physical pleasure.You’re tolerating disrespect because you “don’t want to start over.”You’re holding on to her out of fear, not love.The more sex you have, the more emotionally compromised you become.You ignore the red flags.You excuse her bad behavior.You start asking her for direction instead of leading.And guess what?She notices.And she loses respect.Because no woman respects a man she controls with her body.You’ve turned from her protector to her puppet.From a man with a mission, to a man with a mattress.Some of you are in relationships that only still exist because of sex.You don’t even like her personality.You don’t trust her character.You can’t see a future with her.But the sex?It got you hypnotized.Now you’re stuck in a cycle of emotional suicide.Let me be clear: Sex isn’t bad. But sex without purpose is dangerous.If she’s not your wife or part of your long-term vision,You’re not “winning”—you’re wasting.Wasting time. Wasting energy.Wasting destiny.Discipline is the true flex.Any man can chase women.But it takes a real KING to walk away from good sex for a better future.Control your appetite, or your appetite will control you.Choose purpose. Not pleasure.Choose power. Not puppetry.Choose your mission. Not her mattress.Because the more sex you have with her, the more power she has to destroy you.And by the time you realize it…She’s already walking away with your mind, your energy, and youry potential.Copied from Samuel O. Samuel's wall..