This might be the most informative and empowering post you’ll read on this topic.
There is so much silence, shame, and silliness surrounding women’s bodies, especially when it comes to the vagina. For many of us, we were raised to treat it like some ‘secret place’ nobody should mention. And even now as grown women, some of us still carry unnecessary guilt, fear, or confusion about this part of our body.
It is time we changed that.
So here is a list of 12 things I really wish every lady would know (and believe) about her lady bits:
First things first.
Let us get our names right. What we usually call the vagina is actually the vulva(the clitoris, labia, urethra and all that you can see on the outside). The vagina is the stretchy tunnel inside. It is important you know this because it helps you understand your own body better, and not feel lost in conversations about your own health.
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1. YOUR VAGINA IS NOT DIRTY
Let me start here because society has done a number on us. It is a self-cleaning organ, meaning that it doesn’t need your ‘help’ to be clean. The discharge you sometimes see is proof that it is doing its job. You don’t need to use any fancy soaps, douching products, or herbal concoctions.
Stop scrubbing your vulva like it is a bathroom tile.🙄 Just rinse with clean water when you bathe, and maybe use mild, unscented soap. Anything more than that is an overkill. And quite honestly, most infections come from all these unnecessary things we’re using to ‘clean’ it. Please, respect its supreme intelligence and just let it be.
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2. VAGINAL DISCHARGE IS NORMAL
You are not ‘abnormal’ because you see discharge in your pants. In fact, it’s a sign that your body is functioning properly. Vaginal discharge helps keep things clean and balanced. It can change throughout your cycle. Sometimes it is stretchy and clear, sometimes thick and white, sometimes more than usual. That is very normal. It only becomes a problem if it starts itching, smelling fishy, burning, or turns greenish, grey, or thick and chunky like cheese. Then it’s time to see a doctor. But discharge in itself is just your body being a genius.😉
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3. YOU DON’T NEED TO SMELL LIKE FLOWERS
There’s a whole industry harvesting women’s bodily insecurity for profit. They try to convince women to spray, perfume, and powder themselves down there. Please, your vagina is not a bottle of air freshener. It has a natural scent, and that scent changes depending on where you are in your cycle, your sweat, your hormones, your activity levels, and even what you eat.
A healthy vagina will smell like a body part, not a garden. A clean vagina should smell like… a clean vagina, not strawberries or vanilla. A vagina that smells like perfume is probably irritated or imbalanced. As long as it doesn’t smell foul or fishy, you’re fine. Do not let anyone sell you shame wrapped in fragrance.
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4. YOUR VAGINA’S APPEARANCE IS NORMAL
Just like faces, vaginas come in all shapes, sizes, and colours, and every variation is beautiful and normal. Some labia are small and tucked in. Some are big and hang out. Some are dark. Some are pinkish. Some are uneven. Some look like nothing you’ve ever seen on the internet. All of them are normal. There’s no such thing as a 'perfect' vagina. The ones they show in the media have often been edited or surgically altered…or just naturally plain different, not better or more beautiful. Please stop comparing yours. Your vagina is fine just the way it is. No one should make you feel otherwise.
You can even sing for it in Bruno Mars’ voice: ‘You are beautiful, just the way you are’.😂
Moving on.
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5. YOUR COLOUR IS BEAUTIFUL
The skin around your vagina may be darker than the rest of your body. That’s normal. It is even more common in women of colour like black women. Bleaching can damage your skin and open you up to risks. In fact, if you have a vaginal delivery, stitching you up will be a problem because the skin there will have been thinned out by bleaching. You must not be the same shade all over, my lady. Please don’t chase a beauty standard that was never meant to honour you. It’s not like the men themselves are the same shade all over.😏
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6. PUBIC HAIR IS NOT A PROBLEM
Pubic hair is not dirty, it is not shameful, and it is not disgusting. That hair is there to protect your vagina from friction and bacteria. Whether you shave, wax, trim, or leave it completely natural is completely up to you. If you want to grow a jungle there or clear the field totally, just keep a good intimate hygiene. Dazzol.
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7. COTTON IS YOUR FRIEND
I know we all love to slay, but please let your vagina breathe. Constant tight jeans, nylon pants, and non-cotton underwear can cause sweating and irritation, which may lead to infections. Breathable, cotton underwear helps to reduce moisture and prevent infections. Choose comfort and health over fashion whenever you can. And do not be afraid to go pantless at night to allow for express ventilation down there. T-for Tenks.😊
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8. YOUR HYMEN IS NOT A CERTIFICATE OF YOUR VIRGINITY
A virgin is someone who has not had sexual relations, not merely someone with a present hymen. Please let this sink in.
The hymen can stretch or tear from many things like sports, use of tampons, or even naturally. It doesn’t mean you are no longer a virgin. Also, some women are born without a hymen. Does it mean they were born ‘unvirgined’?😂
Virginity is a concept, not a body part. Let’s be guided, please.
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9. AGEING IS NORMAL DOWN THERE TOO
Your vagina will change just like your face changes. The skin may not look the same at 40 as it did at 15. The colour may darken, it may sag, it I may fold, and that is perfectly fine. All those changes are proof of life lived. Stop stressing and warring with your own body.
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10. IT IS OKAY TO LOOK AT IT
I’m certain that a good number of you reading this do not even know what you look like down there. A lot of women feel awkward or even ashamed exploring their own body, yet still want to feel confident and in control. Sis, it starts with knowing. Get a mirror. Get familiar. That’s your body. There’s nothing unholy about it.
You don’t yet love and accept your body but you want somebody’s son to love and accept it. No be juju be that?🙄
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11. YOUR UNDERWEAR CAN TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR VAGINAL HEALTH.
If you have ever noticed your panties looking a bit bleached or faded in the crotch area, relax. It’s not your detergent, and nothing is wrong with you.
Vaginal discharge is naturally acidic, with a typical vaginal pH ranging from 3.8 to 4.5. This acidity is mainly due to the presence of lactic acid-producing bacteria which help keep harmful bacteria and infections in check.
Over time, it can lighten or fade dark-coloured underwear. That’s normal.
Here is what to look out for:
- If the bleaching happens gradually over multiple wears, you’re good.
– If it happens after just one wear, or way too frequently, it might mean your vaginal pH is a bit too acidic. Could be stress, dehydration, or even a bacterial imbalance.
– If your underwear never bleaches at all, it could also mean your pH is off… maybe you have slight less acidic discharge, which can be normal as well.
So yes, your panty can be your low-budget pH tester. Pay attention. If anything feels off, check in with your body (or your doctor).
Generally, the fading is not dirt. It is simple chemistry, and your body doing exactly what it's meant to.
But if it bothers you, wear pantyliners or rotate your underwear more often. Be careful to not overuse pantyliners because the nylon part that sticks to your panty can prevent ventilation and trap in moisture. This can lead to imbalance of PH, leading to overgrowth of harmful bacteria, and subsequent infections.
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12. YOU NEED REGULAR MEDICAL CHECK-UPS
We have talked about washing, bleaching, pantyliners, all of that, but let us talk about actual health care.
A lot of people think if you’re not sexually active, you don’t need to worry about infections or anything going wrong. That’s not true.
You do not have to be sexually active to get certain infections. Let me say it louder for those at the back: Virgins can get infections too.
Things like bacterial vaginosis (BV) or yeast infections don’t always come from sex. BV just simply means your vagina’s good bacteria got disturbed somehow, and yeast infections happen when fungus decides to throw a party down there without permission.
If you do any of the forbidden practices I mentioned earlier that hurt your vaginal health, these infections are likely to come. In addition, stress and high sugar consumption can contribute, because yeast loves sugar. Taking too much antibiotics can kill even the good bacteria and cause problems. Wearing damp panties or staying in damp clothes too long (like after working out or swimming) too.
Sometimes, what starts as ‘ordinary’ discharge or itching can mess up your cycle, mess with your fertility, or even increase your risk for cervical cancer if left untreated.
Some infections don’t even make noise. They hide and cause long-term issues silently.
What to do:
If you're sexually active:
Start getting Pap smears from age 21. This checks for cervical cancer.
Run STI tests regularly, even if ‘he's faithful’.
Pay attention if sex suddenly hurts, or if there's bleeding, odour, or anything weird.
If you're NOT sexually active:
You might not need Pap smears or invasive pelvic exams yet. But if something is itching, smelling off, or giving you funny signals, please don’t just pray it away. Go and see a doctor.
You can do external ultrasounds or simple, gentle exams that don’t require going inside if needed.
Going for checkups doesn't mean you've done something wrong. Your vagina deserves medical care.
And don’t Google symptoms and declare yourself finished. Google will tell you it’s cancer even if it's yeast infection from your high sugar consumption. Just go see a doctor.
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Bonus for the married:
SEX SHOULD NOT BE PAINFUL.
If you feel pain consistently during sex, something may be off. It could be dryness, trauma, lack of foreplay, tight pelvic muscles, an infection, or an underlying condition. Pain is your body’s way of talking. Please, listen. Seek help. Don’t endure in silence. You deserve comfort and pleasure too.
A lot of us grew up thinking that if you don’t orgasm during penetrative sex, something is wrong with you. It’s not true. The clitoris is where most women experience pleasure. In fact, there is no other known function of this small but mighty organ. Methinks God put it there solely for women to enjoy.☺️
So, no, you are not ‘difficult’ if penetration doesn’t do it for you. Penetration alone does it for a small percentage of women. You’re just human. This marriage thing is for a long time, so explore, get attuned with your body, communicate, and don’t feel shame about your needs.
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I hope I have done something for you today. If you found this information useful, do well to share to inform and empower other women.
Much love,
Chinaza Favour
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P.S: Can I use feminine washes?
Well, you don’t need them, but if you prefer to use one, make sure it is fragrance-free, gynecologist-approved, gentle, and for external use (the vulva) only. If it itches or irritates for any reason and at any point, just remember that your vagina was fine before anyone tried to sell you cucumber-mint freshness.
You’re welcome.❤️
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