Tuesday 28 January 2020

MY SELF ESTEEM

She got all dressed, ready to leave for a program. Beholding her reflection on the mirror, came the words; *"Thank you Lord for making me beautiful."*

On getting to the venue of the long expected program, her eyes gazed around in admiration of the well decorated hall creating an ambience of peace. Stilling her eyes was the greeting from an usher whose beaming smile and hand moved directing her to one of the empty seats. She sat feeling all good.

Elating her eyes, she was swept off feet by what was before her-- a perfectly carved bamboo legs well fitted into a stiletto heels, joining an ivory-worked knee well rounded, hips fitting a slim waist which held her upper frame.. _*King Solomon would know how to describe her, for her breast was like a full ripe grape, veiled in a flowery gown, her smile revealed well arranged immaculate white teeth and her natural hair so long and perfectly styled. Truly beauty in perfection. She must be a goddess,*_ Amanda thought.

Amanda who walked in few minutes ago feeling all good about herself, suddenly began feeling uncomfortable -- as she saw nothing good about herself in the light of the "PERFECT LADY".

As she couldn't take it any longer, she excused herself to the restroom and cried her eyes out. *_"Lord,why are you so bias? why didn't you make me fair? Why didn't you make me tall? I can't even pack my hair, 'cause I don't have long hair!"_*

She couldn't wait for the program to end, she left the venue feeling so sad and worthless.

She got home, took out her phone and dialled her mentor's number.

"Hello dear, I thought you told me you were going for a program."...
"Yes ma, but I'm back."
"So soon?"
"Yes ma, I couldn't stay."

"What happened?"

There was silence..........
"Amanda talk to me!"
"What happened?"

With tears.......
"Mom, why is God so bias?  Why? Why?"

"I still don't get you dear, whats going on?"

_*"Mom, I thought I was beautiful, until I met a lady today. Mom you need to see her--  you need to see this lady--she's perfectly beautiful!*_ _*I left the program 'cause I felt so intimidated by her beauty; I saw nothing good about me in her presence."*_

"Wow! Now I understand"
"Do you have your Bible with you?"
"Yes ma."
"Turn to Psalms139:13-18 (NLT) read it aloud."
***
"Hmm, thank you very much ma. I'll call you back ma."

Amanda went down on her knees and reread the passage carefully and meditatively_

_"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous— how well I know it._

_"You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born._
_Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed._

_"How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!."_
...
Amanda with tears......
"Oh Lord, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry for ever comparing myself with someone, and forgetting all you've written concerning me. Please forgive me and restore me.
Help me to see myself as you do; help me to build my confidence in your Word. I am beautiful; I am wonderfully complete in YOU and I carry your presence. Thank you Lord! Amen.

*"You are fearfully and wonderfully made..You are made and handcrafted by God."*

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