SHADOWS CHASING:

I think it is desirous for a man to own his own house at some point in his life.

I think so.

However, as I go round Ibadan, I see all these mansions that are not occupied by anyone. Some are occupied by widows and widowers. Few are inhabited by old couples. No kids, just a couple of domestic staff. The houses in some cases are so large you wonder how these old folks maintain them.

I don't own a house yet. I have lived in a particular estate for about five years now. Two houses away from me, is a major mansion. No one lives there. There is a Baba, who comes in to sleep each night. Twice a month, he does some gardening work to keep the premises neat, suggesting that the original owners are alive and have relocated to probably their "home" states, or have grown up kids who have taken it upon themselves to maintain the property. No one comes in there not even during the festive periods.

The Bodija Estate, set up by Awolowo, as the first residential, housing estate in the country, is now almost 100% commercial.

Meaning that those who secured properties there have relocated or died and their kids dispersed across the globe, see no need to keep the properties in the family and have sold them off.

Yet, I see guys a little younger than myself, my age group and some maybe a little older, still erecting these major edifices all over. If they are in my age group, they are probably in the early stages of the empty or partially empty nest situation.

Kids grow up and left or leaving. Yet they still put up six, seven eight bedroom houses! I guess they are making statements of a kind, but personally, I doubt that I will ever tow that line. It just does not make sense.

My parents have a bungalow. Four bedrooms, two sitting rooms, two studies . The house is not a big house by Nigerian standards, but when I visit them, it looks way too large for them.

Two rooms are totally unoccupied. Just there. The reason why it's not three is because my old guy has had health challenges and when things were worse than they are today, it was impractical for him to stay in the same room with my mum. For one thing he had to be attended to so frequently at night that it would become a disturbance to my mum's sleeping pattern.

So he had another room made up to suit his purposes. They have a house woman who cooks and cleans. A driver and a Gardner, who don't live in. So it's just the two of them in that spread. I have loads of friends who have one parent left or none as the case may be and they all have these large houses that are beginning to look more like liabilities than assets. In fact one of the widows, actually moved to a smaller place, more adequately suited to her requirements.

So I ask myself, if I were to build a house now, why would I want anything more than a three bedroom house.

Three bedrooms because one would like to think that the children would like to pay a visit with their spouses when they marry and want to stay "at home."

I don't know if others think like I do, but to me, looking at things now,while understanding why a man/ woman would need their own property, it all seems like a type of vanity.

At the end of the day, we leave it all behind.

Our kids may sell if they don't live in the same places we do, or they may of course erect their own structures and won't see the need to fall back on whatever we may want to bequeath to them.

I am learning lessons from all this. Just thought I should share.

RESPONSES BELOW...

Well said bros. Houses of different sizes as you described here built in the cities are still better as they can still be redesigned and let out to tenants for some income. The one I'm struggling with are those built in the village where the owners rarely visit and are just there gathering dust and falling into disrepair every second.

Perfectly said. This is just Common sense which unfortunately is not common to many. Adding to this is the building of very big structure in the village with no one living in it. Just to bear the name of having a house at home which will only be useful during burial of a family member.

So sad.

We must change this orientation.

I am on the same page with you.

My dad of blessed memories made me know early in life about this.

From this, I conclude by saying live to make your dreams come to pass, live to be happy as much as possible with your life.

Be content with what you are and have.

Someone still checks out of this world any way and leave all behind to be in care of someone who will still leave it behind too.

My exact sentiments too...I also can't explain how folks in the diaspora save all their life earnings to build edifices back in their villages while they have no paid off home in the diaspora....worse still...death comes along and they die...kids in the diaspora will not move to the village and that big old house is taken over by happy relatives.

This is the reason why there is always those relatives that will encourage you to build a mansion in the village...they know that they will eventually own the home once you're gone. It's all vanity.

I plan to downscale as soon as my children leave the house to theirs.

Big house for old age is unnecessary wahala.

Even assets sef, I will convert enough each year to enjoy my remaining years travelling the world. I don't understand why people get stuck with large homes in old age.

Mazino God bless you real good for this and I shall be sharing with my friends. I've always told friends that when I choose to retire back in Motherland, I will rent an apartment of my choice and in my desired area and a friend almost skinned me alive last week, asking why I am not building. My question was why should I? Exactly what you've stated here, plus I am not building for family member/s (especially the less privileged ones you hardly know as those ones do nowadays) to come and fight/ take over my sweat.

We shall not build and another inhabit (aside tenants of course).

Nothing wrong in building, but most of those I know that do this foolishness have children who don't know MMA, let alone go and reside there.

I just told a friend she is building for her siblings in Nigeria as her children have only been there twice, she herself only go once in 2yrs, but building a property of 5-bed, 2 or 3 living rooms, now adding a jacuzzi (for her ailing bones I guess). Good for them.. Oyinbo will accommodate according to family size and then downsize after the children have all flown the nest. Anyway, to each their own.

A lot of people are just living their lives to impress other people.

Some even start and can't finish.

Big houses are great when children are around.

They are a burden when they go away. The way to balance it is to build in a way that one can easily convert to apartments later for unforeseen circumstances.

In the past, our parents claimed they were building for us, so how many of us are living in our parents' houses now?

Great writeup - with much wisdom embedded.

We don't seems to understand the dynamic of life yet - acquire and acquire houses everywhere to nothing. The position posted same in Abuja, Lagos etc

In fact everywhere - some of us try building a modest house because of high rent year in year out

One, from your post - I put it to you that you shall build or purchase your own house - for this to be a thing of concern to you.

I learnt a great deal from the writeup this morning.

Ah, my brother, it’s like you were a fly on the wall when my friend Ibironke Semowo and I were discussing this house matter yesterday.

She drove past a friend’s mansion in Lekki yesterday and called me. Madam and the kids live abroad. Only oga in the house. Our age mate o! She counted 26 bulbs on the fence alone!!! I gave her examples of houses my friend’s parents built in Bodija, Jericho, Idi shin and Ring Road/Oluyole when we were growing up in Ibadan. How beautiful and lovely those houses were then and how badly dilapidated they are now.

Those houses cannot be maintained with pension. And there is so much the children can do to help maintain those houses.

Too much vanity in this life o.

When the time comes, we will look for a 3 bedroom serviced flat to live in. May God grant us long life in good health!

I and hubby built our house in 2008. We have never slept there for one day. Our kids sounded to our ears that they have no intention to either relocate or live in Nigeria.

Sometimes when I look at the picture and the big house I thought about the decision to build in the first place.

You are absolutely right.

I learnt this hard lesson at Ilorin, kwara State. Many of the edifices built by powerful leaders of yesterday have been left vacant and no person occupied them.

In most cases, the "Living Parents" when having any occasion at all, the Children preferred staying in Hotels and other makeshifts that are comfortable to them. In my own locality at home, some parents are now blaming themselves of why sending their children to study abroad.

Most of these Children usually tell their parents to give whatever they have to their immediate family or orphanage homes. It is a sad development for the Living Parents.

Thanks for highlighting this "ugly trends" to others. I hope we can learn from this.

It is vanity upon vanity...all is Zero!