MARRIAGE IS NOT A SCAM.

 MARRIAGE IS NOT A SCAM.

Marriage is much more than for the gram, or for prewedding Pictures and social media clout. It is a whole humbling process. You must get the foundation right or regret it. Many young people get swayed by frivolities and end up with the devil. Some see the signs but will still go ahead and marry hoping they will Change. Marriage is not beautiful by default. It is like an empty box. The love, peace, effective communication and maturity comes from the both of you, and that's why the most important factor is not just having the right person, but also being the right person.

I get tired of young unserious people who get into relationship for material/sexual gratification and then come out to shout about how marriage is rubbish. If you marry the wrong person, you have Part of the blame. Yes, You don't have to stay but accept your part. This applies to both gender (male & female). Women will marry a man who is clearly toxic for whatever reason: money, sexual prowess or social class. Men will marry women for even money, Beauty, and two months later you're on social media shouting marriage is a scam, love is a scam, this is a this and that is a that. No, you didn't have sense.

Love or marriage is not a scam. Take the responsibility that you married the wrong person. The pain of marrying the wrong person is worse than your present fear of getting too old before marriage. Some of you jump into marriage without getting to know the person. In dating, you were busy just having sex, going to eateries, taking photos, sleeping over, doing laundries, chatting and asking yourselves 'Have you eaten' 20times a day. It is your fault!

23 THINGS TO DO TO KEEP YOUR HUSBAND UNDER THE CONTROL OF YOUR LOVE

1. Call him by a pet name

2. Allow him exercise his authority as the head of the family.

3. DO not challenge him when he is hurt.

4. Be silent when he is angry. You can go back to him in his happy moment with apology and explain why you behave that way that annoyed him.

5. Be quick to say "I'm sorry dear" when ever you offend him, insist on his forgiveness, appreciate and kiss him when he does.

6. Speak good of him before his Friends and siblings.

7. Honor his mother

8. Insist that he buys gift for his parents and in so doing be he will do same for your parents

9. Surprise him with his favorite dish especially when he has no money at hand and never delay his food.

10. Do not allow the maid to serve him food when you are at home. Because u may lose him to her.

11. Give him a warm reception with an embrace when he returns, collect his luggage and help undress him.

12. Smile when you look at him and give him occasional pecks when you are out socially.

13. Praise him before your children sometimes.

14. Wash his back while he is in the shower.

15. Put love note in his pocket or briefcase.

16. Phone and tell him that you miss him.

17. Dial his number and on hearing "hello" just tell him I love you.

18. If he is a public figure or a politician, gently wake him at the early hours of the morning and romance him to the point he want no more, give him sex. He will not be entice by any other woman that day.

19. Tell him how lucky you are to have him as your husband.

20. Give him a hug for no reason, a surprise Hug.

21. Appreciate God for the Adam of your life.

22. Always remember to pray for him.

23. Pray together and also pray together before going to bed in the night.

May God bless your marriages. Singles may you experience true love today and forever. May non-serious people that will waste your time be disconnected in your life In Jesus Name

DEALING WITH OFFENSES IN MARRIAGE

 

I used to get easily offended by my wife especially because I expected her to know better or to consider me or to think like I thought.

Later I discover that expectations are the bedrock of offenses. If I expect that you will greet me and you didn't greet me, I will feel offended.

But if I was not really expecting any greeting from you and you didn't greet me, I won't feel any offense.

But this still pose a question, shouldn't I expect anything from my spouse?

I was locked at this question for a while until I got more clarity.

The day I gave my life to Jesus, I gave everything I am to Jesus. I gave everything I have, I own, I possess to Jesus.

This means that I have given my wife to Jesus

Ahhhh

This got me more confused, does that mean that I don't have a wife again

If I have given my life to Jesus and my life includes my wife because we are now one, how do I obey the law of loving my wife as Christ loved the church?

I was more confused

Then I got a clearer picture which I will explain below.

The first law of Jesus says love God with your all.

So to love my wife I must first love God and through God love my wife.

. God

/. \

Me. Wife

Since I have given my wife to Jesus, my expectations is no longer in my wife.

The Bible says woe unto him that puts his trust in flesh, my wife is part of flesh that can fail me. So I no longer put any expectation to her.

My expectations are now in Christ Jesus.

No matter how much she offends, I can only report her to her new husband, Jesus.

It's no more my expectations she failed to meet, it is Jesus expectation she failed.

It's no more my problem, it is Jesus problem.

I am no longer living to please her, I am not taking care of her because that's what husband do.

I am taking care of the Jesus property in my care.

If Jesus her new owner isn't shouting at her for losing his money, why should I shout.

If Jesus her new owner will forgive her the very second she ask for forgiveness no matter the offense, why should I not forgive and let go.

On the day of judgment, Jesus is going to ask me how I treated his property in my hands.

So back to the question, how do I now treat offenses in marriage?

I have handed my partner to Jesus, all my expectations is now in Jesus.

I am now under a new management 24 hours a day.

My manager "Jesus" does not sleep or slumber, so his control over my actions is active 24 hours a day.

I must report every action my spouse do to my manager 24 hours a day.

I know my manager will tell me to forgive her 70 x 70 times a day.

I know my manager will tell me anger lies in the bosom of fools.

I know a little anger can cut my communications with my manager in the heavenly headquarters.

I know if my communication with the headquarters is broken, that wicked enemy will implement his strategy to kill, to steal and to destroy.

I know Jesus says that on the day he will come like a thief in the night, 2 will be sleeping on the same bed, one will be taken and one left. I don't want to be the one left over an offense that naturally belongs to Jesus.

Oops, OK let me finally answer the question. I don't want to talk very long like bro Lanre and Sis Yinka Adeboye.

Let me be brief...

So the practical way I deal with offenses after all the Lord had taught me is to simply...... Forgive in advance. It's not my problem.

It's the problem of my new manager Jesus.

Why

Because Jesus was so jealous he wasn't satisfied with 50% of me, he wasn't happy with 90% of me.

I even wanted to give him 99%, he refused and said I must give him 100%.

But I can't blame Jesus, Jesus paid 100% too. He gave his whole life.

So if I give him anything less than 100% I have cheated him.

My wife is part of the 100%. Her offense is part of the 100%. My children are part of the 100% my boss is part of the 100%, the government is part of the 100%.

Actually I am now a very empty guy because all my responsibilities are in Jesus. I follow him 24hrs.

Hmmm

Ok let me finish this short essay

I am tired of this world, I just want to be part of those singing with God in heaven. If forgiving my wife in advance is what it takes to make heaven then... Darling you are forgiven in advance ooo.

What if she takes advantage of my forward forgiveness, hmmm. Jesus will deal with her, it's still not my problem

Thank you

THE WONDERFUL SECRET OF A WOMAN.

 

At one time, a newly married young man was shouting at his 20 year old wife and his father called him aside and said to him, 'We only shout at people our shouts or threats can frighten. But not to your wife.

The way you are shouting, you are giving away your power to your wife. Your threats make her stronger. Most men believe that when a woman is threatened, she gets subdued, but women are not changed with fear.

A woman may stay quiet when a man is shouting at her but she is not sitting down inside her. She is evaluating the man's weakness and how to subdue him rather.

Cast your mind back to those days when men used to beat their wives at the slightest provocation, today most of those men are older and they suffering the consequences.

Those women whose husbands were beating them years back are the ones enjoying the marriage with their children today, the mothers have their children's sympathy, the men are at the receiving end.

Let it be made clear to men that the way into a woman's heart is not to try to belittle her. God spoke to men and said, 'Husbands, love your wives.’ Do you need an elaborate explanation of this scripture? Love makes women weak. When you truly love a woman and show it, she will submit to you naturally without qualms.

The 'lion' in men does not scare women or get them to submit to you, it is love that conquers a woman, not force or threats. This might subdue fellow men, but not your wife. Women naturally know how to survive pains. They can walk to the fearful serpent or lion and make their demands. They have resilient spirit.

There are things women fear but not the lion inside men. They can submit and respect their men so foolishly that you imagine that there is no gut inside them. They have guts men don't have, love your woman into submission.

Men don't have compatible or cordial relationship with women by showing the lion inside them. God knew women before us and said that we should love them than threaten them. He gave men the formula, recipe for a blissful, joyous and fulfilled homes, LOVE YOUR WIVES!

This formula of loving your wife will help you win her. When a woman is loved, you break all her guts and she stays in your hands. A woman can do anything to stay with a man who is honestly in love with Her.

Talk gently to your wife, love her, pet her, don't shout at her, and you will win her and make your points!

Do not arrogantly display your weakness as a man by shouting.

HOW MAJA TURNED BACK ON MATURED PROSTITUTION

LIFE STORY

At my place of work we normally close by four, after which on my way home, rather should I say on our (I and my fellow ladies), we usually wave down cars to give us drops just to save the transport money, but honestly the intents of doing so were not just pure (because we usually give fucks in return) most especially on Fridays. Yeah the drive we get is just trade by barter.

Men who pick us up on Fridays we usually term luckies and it’s usually a marathon sex till Sunday and we take off from there on Mondays back to work maybe with extra cash most of the time or a free drive to work also maybe a goodbye kiss.

On a particular Friday, I met this handsome dude, I waved he stopped, I hopped into the front sit like a grasshopper. Did you know? He never said a word to me except “put on your sit belt” at some point I was afraid, the only motions he made was nodding to the music plating in his car.

When we reached my place, I wanted to do the normal exchange of numbers you know… (Some men drive us straight to their house, others who didn’t stay in our place after the exchange of numbers we make it to their place at night). It all depends on discussions that took place during the ride. In this case nothing.

When I opened the door about to go, I was expecting a voice to call me back or a clearing of throat to draw back my attention but none. So I turned around and asked for his number maybe he’s shy, amateur, naïve, boyish, because those types when taught how to do the do can go extra miles on your clitoris in the bedroom as if their life’s depends on it. It’ll be a wild weekend I rolled my tongue inside my mouth already feeling wet down in between my legs, from the flooding images of last week’s nice sex.

He bluntly refused, “at least tell me your name I pressed”, using my hands to part my top a little bit so that he could see a full view of my boobs, he was unperturbed, I looked towards his groin expecting to see an erect penis (nothing).

He told me to sit down, thank Goodness it worked I smiled sheepishly…

He told me; do you know that you girls are the cause of your own problems yet you always lay the blames on men? It was like a slap but I didn’t interrupt, he told me do I not know that I’m too precious for every Dickson and Thomas to swim inside of me just because of a petty ride.

Mehn, sorry Ladies he said so many things that made me shed tears, he didn’t quote any scripture neither did he say Jesus nor mention Church, but I felt repented, it’s been months the Church premises saw my foot last.

Did you know before he drove off he gave me N50,000? (telling me to put myself in order) not only that, he even said that there are men who would help you without wanting to get you laid, all I knew was get laid and get extra cash, but this is extra cash without getting laid.

I didn’t notice myself walk into my bedroom, all I heard were sobs from me, I was going to Church on Sunday I said to myself.

But my fellow ladies I want to ask us; what do we really use our money for? Even those we receive from these men what do we use them for?

I mean most of us don’t even eat good food, always taking one medication or the other because of stomach ulcer.

We don’t even wear good clothes upon all the money, therefore we become victims of rape, use and dump (emotionally shattered), yet we blame all men.

Have we forgotten that chicks are victims to kites when they stay off their mothers? When we feel our mothers are old cargoes and out-fashioned, we call ourselves chics, then kites, snakes, dogs, hawks etc easily prey on us.

Those men most of the times are on their own yet we look for their trouble, we willingly love to see our fellow women cry due to affairs we have with their husbands, we milk their husbands dry of their sperm and money, when they reach home they can’t perform and can’t carter for their families.

Our accounts are large but our life’s are empty.

We warn other girls to keep of our fathers and our brothers, yet we are after their fathers and their brothers, payback they say is a bitch.

After sincerely answering my questions I wept bitterly considering the abortions, my damaged kidney etc my life was just miserable. I went to Church the next Sunday rushed out during an altar call and sincerely said the prayers and determined not to go back to my vomits.

Trouble only goes to those who look for it.

Let us be contented with what we have and make judicious use of them.

Guess what? That young man that picked me out of oblivion he proposed to me and I said Yes!

We are getting married!!!

My friends all deserted me because of my new found life, my wedding wasn’t a lavish one. I’ve picked up myself and moved on.

Looking up to Jesus the Author and Finisher of my Faith.

To those still using their bodies to make money, it’s never going to help you, it’s high time you’ve turned a new live.

Let me leave us with this 1Tim 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

She that has an ear let her ear.

Many have been used for ritual threading that path.

Live right… Do not abuse Grace…

Things Men Should Never Do to Please a Woman When in Love

Love is indeed a beautiful thing! The feelings when u are truly in love is next to none. People express love in different ways, some people especially men particularly are over expressive.

 Women become overly expressive when they see their man being expressive too. Though most women find men who are expressive to be very annoying because men who are like that are usually emotional and perceived to be weaklings. 

We have been suffering from poor education about love and I think is time we learn to do things the right way!

As much as one could never fully understand the affairs of the heart and the kind of people it chooses to fall for, some

things would be better if they are rationally reviewed. Love is a very beautiful thing we must say, it could also become a point of pain if things do not go as planned in the relationship.

In this part of the world, men are proclaimed to be the head, this also applies in relationships. No one is asking a man to prove his manliness by beating up the women in his life in order to prove to the world that he is in charge. However, certain things are not expected of the man when it comes to relationships which is what we are about to discuss here. 

Some men have failed because of the role they played in their relationships. This is mostly as a result of the overbearing attitude they put up when it comes to women. They go overboard when expressing their feelings and emotions. They trade their positions for the love they have for the women and end up being ridden in the process.

Later we will still have to discuss some of the things women should never do to please men, because it would be unfair not to help the women know their limitations when it comes to pleasing men too. 

Find below some of the things you should never do to please your woman:

Never steal or commit a crime for a woman: Yes you heard me! No matter how bad things are never think of stealing because you want to please a woman, because you will end up in jail and then before you come out another has taken your place, and u will take all the blame. Of course no woman wants to end up with a thief. You will watch her walk away when you are behind the bar. Be guided in your choice of actions and know that there should be limits to every sacrifice in love. 

Never buy a woman car or house when you don't have one: Over the years some men think buying expensive gifts will make a woman stay for you in a relationship lol truth is that they will only dump you after you are done fooling yourself. Why love people more than you love your self? Or were you forbidden to buying expensive stuffs for yourself? The truth of the matter is that you will end up being seen as a fool and a womanizer as well when you do all this. There are better things to do for the one you love and not being a fool. Is not bad to get her a car or a house but make sure you have one!                            

2 :Fighting another man because of her: What will even make you fight your fellow man for any reason not to talk of a woman that might leave you tomorrow if things gets worst. Two things are involved is either the guy beat you up and she laugh at you or you beat the guy up and end in jail and still lose her. To me I don't think any woman is worth fighting a fellow man for. You can handle it with a maturity by talking things out with him and not by fighting him. 

3:Reject your family because of her: So many women wish for this, some pray all your people are even dead before they meet you but no matter how they wish and drag you never you in your wildest dreams think of rejecting your family because of any woman. There a saying that is better to marry a bad wife than have a bad child! Yes your child is your family, your wife is also your family but then don't forget she has a family she can always go back to when things get tougher. You should be able to state and define the love for your woman and the love for your family. 

4: Give up your dreams: Alot has happened, so many dreams have died all because you think you love her. My brother never give up that dream is either she wait while you pursue your dreams or you let her slide. Truth is you will always see someone who will cherish that dream of yours after a while. Is better to give up on her than to give up on your dream! 

5:Never become suicidal because of her: Emotional depression has lead so many into committing suicid, never in you life harbour this thought just because of the pains that you your love left you or because you are passing through some emotional blah blah blah! No matter the depth of your love, do not ever let it take you to a plain where you lose the desire to live. Do not become a martyr for a woman; do not die for love. In the same line, do not kill for a woman.

There are lots of women in the society; if you get rejected by a woman, work on yourself and you would have lots of women bidding for your attention. Never let your emotions control you, always be open to failure, accept it, learn the lessons and move on with your life! It takes only the living the love again! 

Love is beautiful but never be a fool to love. Love yourself first, Never let anyone deceive you with the word "If you love me, you will do this and that" Don't be deceived my brother. Love with your eyes wild open forget that saying that love is blind this is only true when u see less of your partners wrong and appreciate the good thing in them and not when you start fooling yourself around. Walk majestically into any love as a king with your eyes open! 

What are other things that you think is not worth doing for love?

My compatible partner

Forging a romantic connection with a potential partner can be thrilling and nerve-wracking all at once. After all, how can you truly know whether the spark means genuine compatibility? 

Fortunately, experts in the field of love, dating and relationships have advice for those unsure whether they are experiencing the start of a lasting connection.Forging a romantic connection with a potential partner can be thrilling and nerve-wracking all at once. After all, how can you truly know whether the spark means genuine compatibility? 

Fortunately, experts in the field of love, dating and relationships have advice for those unsure whether they are experiencing the start of a lasting connection.

To find out what those looking for love should know about compatibility, the idea of “the one” and dating in general, we spoke to Nikki Lewis and Greta Tufvesson, the founders of The Bevy, a bespoke matchmaking service in New York City

According to the co-founders, who pair potential partners without using pictures or last names, the most important step in finding love is going into it with an open mind.

If you are relying on dating apps or blind dates, this means refraining from researching a date before meeting for the first time. 

 rule of thumb is to have an open mind before even going on a first date,” Tufvesson told us. “Don’t judge or create preconceived notions of who this person is based on a Google search or gossip

Understanding what you should be looking for in terms of a romantic partner is also integral - as compatibility doesn’t mean finding someone who is the same as you. 

“Compatibility is not about how similar you are, but more about how you complement each other,”

Tufvesson explained. “Do you share fundamental goals and visions? If you’re just looking to date someone who is exactly like you, you put yourself at risk of boredom.” 

In addition to keeping an open mind, Tufvesson suggests being willing to “learn about someone’s differences, and work towards a similar vision of what you want your life to look like”.

When you do find someone with whom you can have a lasting connection, Lewis said the relationship will have certain attributes, such as shared trust, “clear and honest communication,” patience, understanding, and lastly, fun.

“It takes a lot to make a relationship work and last, but if these fundamentals are in place then you’re in a good spot,” she said, adding: “Make sure you have a deeper connection that cultivates long-lasting happiness - like intellectual stimulation, empathy and respect.”

Alternatively, if you feel that you may not be compatible with a partner, there are certain signs you should look out for. 

For example, if you notice that your relationship is sucking energy from you, it is likely because you are not a good fit for one another. 

“Real connections give you energy,” Lewis explained. “If you don’t feel joy, excitement, or inspiration from your significant other, then it’s time to move on.”

It is also important to be wary of relationships that are based on “superficiality,” as these relationships can “feel good in the beginning, but can also be harmful,” according to Lewis. 

If you do realise the person you thought was your soulmate isn’t for you, the good news is, despite what we’re taught in movies, “the one,” or the specific person you are meant to be with, doesn’t actually exist.

“The idea of having one and only one soulmate is an unrealistic notion,” Lewis said. “We live in a huge world. Your perfect soulmate could speak a different language and live on a different continent - but that’s not a realistic working relationship. 

“So no, there isn’t just one right person out there made for you, there could be many or a few wonderful matches.” 

Researchers previously found that having similarities with the person you are dating isn’t as important as most people think. Instead, finding a person who is “nice” is what matters, according to the 2019 study.

“People invest a lot in finding someone who’s compatible, but our research says that may not be the end all be all,” said Bill Chopik, associate professor of psychology and director of Michigan State University’s Close Relationships Lab. “Instead, people may want to ask: ‘Are they a nice person?’ Do they have a lot of anxiety?’ Those things matter way more than the fact that two people are introverts and end up together.”

Overall, researchers said that even among couples who share similar personalities, having a partner who is “conscientious and nice leads to higher levels of relationship satisfaction”.

To find out what those looking for love should know about compatibility, the idea of “the one” and dating in general, we spoke to Nikki Lewis and Greta Tufvesson, the founders of The Bevy, a bespoke matchmaking service in New York City

According to the co-founders, who pair potential partners without using pictures or last names, the most important step in finding love is going into it with an open mind.

If you are relying on dating apps or blind dates, this means refraining from researching a date before meeting for the first time. 

 A good rule of thumb is to have an open mind before even going on a first date,” Tufvesson told us. “Don’t judge or create preconceived notions of who this person is based on a Google search or gossip

Understanding what you should be looking for in terms of a romantic partner is also integral - as compatibility doesn’t mean finding someone who is the same as you. 

“Compatibility is not about how similar you are, but more about how you complement each other,”

Tufvesson explained. “Do you share fundamental goals and visions? If you’re just looking to date someone who is exactly like you, you put yourself at risk of boredom.” 

In addition to keeping an open mind, Tufvesson suggests being willing to “learn about someone’s differences, and work towards a similar vision of what you want your life to look like”.

When you do find someone with whom you can have a lasting connection, Lewis said the relationship will have certain attributes, such as shared trust, “clear and honest communication,” patience, understanding, and lastly, fun.

“It takes a lot to make a relationship work and last, but if these fundamentals are in place then you’re in a good spot,” she said, adding: “Make sure you have a deeper connection that cultivates long-lasting happiness - like intellectual stimulation, empathy and respect.”

Alternatively, if you feel that you may not be compatible with a partner, there are certain signs you should look out for. 

For example, if you notice that your relationship is sucking energy from you, it is likely because you are not a good fit for one another. 

“Real connections give you energy,” Lewis explained. “If you don’t feel joy, excitement, or inspiration from your significant other, then it’s time to move on.”

It is also important to be wary of relationships that are based on “superficiality,” as these relationships can “feel good in the beginning, but can also be harmful,” according to Lewis. 

If you do realise the person you thought was your soulmate isn’t for you, the good news is, despite what we’re taught in movies, “the one,” or the specific person you are meant to be with, doesn’t actually exist.

“The idea of having one and only one soulmate is an unrealistic notion,” Lewis said. “We live in a huge world. Your perfect soulmate could speak a different language and live on a different continent - but that’s not a realistic working relationship. 

“So no, there isn’t just one right person out there made for you, there could be many or a few wonderful matches.” 

Researchers previously found that having similarities with the person you are dating isn’t as important as most people think. Instead, finding a person who is “nice” is what matters, according to the 2019 study.

“People invest a lot in finding someone who’s compatible, but our research says that may not be the end all be all,” said Bill Chopik, associate professor of psychology and director of Michigan State University’s Close Relationships Lab. “Instead, people may want to ask: ‘Are they a nice person?’ Do they have a lot of anxiety?’ Those things matter way more than the fact that two people are introverts and end up together.”

Overall, researchers said that even among couples who share similar personalities, having a partner who is “conscientious and nice leads to higher levels of relationship satisfaction”.

Why men ????

Am at the point of committing murder because I have never been this angry. In this locked down my husband brought his girlfriend into our home without my knowledge. The babe came prepared. We have a two bedroom flat in our basement. Is a kind of guest chalet that my husband always use when he is doing research,writing books and reading for professional exams. Sometimes when we have visitors that comes in from outside the country they stay there, the place is like a guest house well furnished to taste with all the kitchen utensils. 

So this babe and my husband planned to come and stay in the basement . She bought food stuffs, brought her clothing and she came in when no one could see her and checked into the guest chalet. I noticed my husband spent so much time in the basement all in the name of writing his book that he needs quiet time away from the kids. I didn't suspect anything until now. I just finished cooking and I decided to take the food to surprised him there. As I gained access to the flat, I started perceiving smell of food. Lo and behold I met my husband and his babe naked and asleep having eaten food cooked by her in the living room. I went round the house and saw her clothings, shoes, toiletries in the bedroom. I screamed and the both rushed into the bedroom and met me. I bounced on him and started beating him. They were both naked. I feel so hurt and betrayed. Bringing her into my home is a huge slap on my womanhood. Now the problem is she can't leave as Abuja is locked down. How can I handle this? Will she stay here for 14 days. I feel like killing the both of them now. My husband said the babe is pregnant and insisted she can't stay alone during the lock down so they both decided she come and stay in the guess chalet. Someone should tell me what to do before I kill the two of them. 😭😭😭😭.

NK talk

I am 30yrs old. My story is a very long one  butI will just cut everything short. I met this man in 2010 and we started dating and I got pregnant for him few months after. He decided to go to my place and pay my bride price but my people refuse to collect the bride price because I was pregnant. So they told us to go back to lagos and come back after I have given birth so that was how we started living together and after 2years, I gave birth to another baby and we started having issues that led to break up in 2016.to just cut long stories short, when we were still apart he called me one day and proudly told me dat for my information, he is HIV positive and for that, I should stop doing shakara. Initially I thought he was just trying to say that to make me feel bad because I have done so many HIV test even when I was with him and after I left him. Infact this story is too long. All this while he has collected the kids from me since 2016 so I normally go to the east to visit them. Last year I visited my kids and spent two months with them. During that process I don't sleep in his room so he stated complaining and doing everything to get me back even went as far as trying to convince me to go down with him. But I reduced to do so. I told him we should go the hospital and I will do all the inquiries b4 I will accept. To my greatest surprise th secret cam up. After all long stories, he confess to me that he had HIV in 2004 and he met me in 2010 and his motive was to infect me with it and wen I get to know, I won't be able to liv him again. But God almighty has proven himself in my life and my kids. I am negative and my kids are negative too. But this man still don want leave  ealone. He is beginning me to come back to him and let him go and pay my bride price. I don't want him again he is a wicked man. I have moved on with my life but his father and mum keep begging me to come back to him.

Cheated wife

Nigerian Nigerian woman (Name withheld) narrates how she sleeps with her husband’s girl friend, because her husband stopped having time for her.

READ BELOW:

“I have been married to John, my husband for about two years now but I find myself sleeping with his best friend.

“My husband and I started dating when we were in the university. John has a best friend from his school days called Dave.

“John, Dave and I were all friends in those days until I later got married to John.

“To be honest, I had a crush on Dave back then in school but due to some circumstances, I had to bottle up the feelings. However, I never stopped admiring him from afar.

“John was an outspoken guy. He came from a wealthy family. He virtually did not lack anything while in school.

“John was very supportive financially when we were in school. He helped out with my school fees and other expenses. I owe him a lot for the assistance he rendered throughout my education.
I guess I accepted his proposal for a relationship with me because I felt I was indebted to him.

“After our graduation, we got married. I thought my feelings for his best friend would die down and I will learn to love John but I was wrong. The feelings never left.

“Barely a year after our marriage, my husband completely changed towards me. He started keeping late nights. He barely had time for me, his wife.

“I confronted him several times but he gave me sarcastic and insulting responses that he was out there making money for the both of us since that was what attracted me to him in the first place.

“I was beginning to lose interest in the marriage. I decided to contact his best friend, Dave to help me talk to him but all his friend’s effort were unsuccessful.

“Dave was very sympathetic and caring. He call to check up on me almost every day.
He could tell I wasn’t enjoying my marriage which was just two years old.

“Dave kindness towards me reignited the feelings I have tried so hard to bury. Whenever, my husband was away on business trips, I invite him over to keep me company.

“At first, I kept it strictly on old times friendship level only but at time went on, I couldn’t hold my feelings any longer. I opened up to Dave about it and how I waited for him to ask me on a date then before his friend won me over.

“Dave’ response surprised me. He told me that he also had feelings for me but couldn’t tell me about it because his friend had interest in me back then in school.

“It was in this moment of truth that for the first time I cheated on my husband with his best friend.

“I felt bad about it but the absence and attitude of my husband wasn’t helping matter.
Rather, it made me go back to his best friend for more.

“I know this is wrong. I am a married woman sleeping around with another man who happens to be my husband’s best friend.

“I want to stop but the feelings are just too strong. Right now, I’m caught up in the middle and I don’t know what to do.

“Despite the fact that I am not enjoying my marriage with John, I still feel guilty for cheating on him severally.

“What should I do now? I am so confused because I love Dave but I also have an obligation to my husband.

UNFORGIVEN COUPLE

My marriage is just one year plus and am pregnant for our first issue. My husband cheat on me, I found out months after we got married he even slept with the girl,I threatened to leave he pleaded  after everything I forgive and continued.

It was a distance relationship I had with him and finally joined him months back.My husband is badly addicted to phone chatting with girls he can do that from morning till night without minding if I'm around or not.we hardly make love unless I initiate I have decided to just forget about sex with him because of his attitudes and addiction. It is too bad ,he is in all social network always sex chatting with girls there is nothing I haven't done .I now decided not to even go to his phone again so i can have my peace and deliver safely.Most times he prefers I get angry at him so he can  sit to himself and chat all day.His addiction is killing me we don't play anymore like our dating days .I have talked to him severally yet nothing. sometimes I wonder why I ended up with him cos I had people that were better but I decided to follow my heart.But now it seems he doesn't love me enough. If I go naked or even try to seduce my husband he tells me to let him be that he is tired. Sometimes I just feel I will cheat on him someday  with anitger guy just that am pregnant for now at least to help me ignore him more.There is no kind of love I don't show this man buy I gave up because even while I worshipped him and pampered him when we newly got married I later found out he is cheating even with everything and all the love I'm showing him. He hardly apologize for any wrong which was different during courtship.

During Courtship he used to disturb me for sex if I visit I used to even be the one to tell him no way that I don't Want to get involved now till marriage, now after exposing me to sex this man sometimes stays months without minding my feelings.Am tired of always asking for sex from a man I call my husband. I noticed he got another cellphone he uses outside the home ,confronted him but he denied it ,I kept mute. Until one week end I came across the phone  and I hid it,since then he didn't asked me about it.He just behaved funny for some days but I ignored and have decided he won't see that phone again, I either dispose it or give it out to someone. I don't know what to do to make it work again. Am tired of the man I married .it even worst now that we are all at home,he  chat morning till night not minding me.I brought out game for us to play he told me he was busy out of annoyance I told him it even better be leaves the house that his presence is making me unhappy. Because of this man I just started charting the ways I'm not suppose to.I have prayed no way.Just decided to open different social network now to start my own because I'm tired I don't want to think again .Just new marriage.Please how do I handle this man,he hardly tells me he love me but he says that to his girls when he chats them. although he provides everything needed. I am tired .sorry for the long post I just need a way yo harden my heart more so I can forget about him.

I have been married for the past 9yrs with three boys but I and my husband have never stayed more than one month together because of my work, I work somewhere far from my husband. he took that opportunity and picked a girlfriend whom he has a baby boy with, for the past five years my marriage have being hell for me, my husband insult me, shout at me, dislike my children, and so many things because I always complain about his other relationship the girlfriend on the other don't respect me even though I consider her child as mine, now my problem is, a little issue came up between us, and he called and my parents he can't stay with me anymore. n
m

Question is ever since we got married, am the only one who apologize when we have issues, my husband doesn't know how to say sorry, now he is waiting for me to apologise once again for a crime I have not committed else our marriage will collapse. because I always apologise for peace, he feels am the only one who causes problem. Should I apologise once again for a crime I have not committed?