ZOO FUN

A graduate in zoology was having difficulties in finding job...... He saw an advert in one of the daily news paper for a job at a zoo.

At the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla which has been a tourists attraction has died, so they needed someone to dress and disguise as a gorilla since they have not been able to afford a new gorilla.

The graduate was embarrassed but since the salary was very okay and attractive, he accepted the job offer

On the first day, he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, started jumping up and down, beating his chest while roaring like a gorilla..

The next day, he put on the gorilla skin and started moving around the zoo again and mistakenly entered another cage untill he found himself starring at a lion , the lion roared and started moving towards him.

The scared graduate forgot that he was a gorilla and started shouting like a human being "help! help!! help!!!".,, The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered onto one of his ear; emeka, it's me chibike your course mate, no fear, guy no work for these country,....., Infact you see that crocodile wey dey inside that water , Na ndubesi your class rep be that.

Just for fun

FACTS ABOUT HEPATITIS

HEPATITIS is an inflammation of the liver.

MOST COMMON TYPES ARE :

Hepatitis B

A serious liver infection caused by the hepatitis B virus that's easily preventable by a vaccine.

Hepatitis C

An infection caused by a virus that attacks the liver and leads to inflammation.

Alcoholic hepatitis

Liver inflammation caused by drinking too much alcohol.

Autoimmune hepatitis

Inflammation in the liver that occurs when the immune system attacks the liver.

Hepatitis D

A serious liver disease caused by infection with the hepatitis D virus.

Hepatitis A

A highly contagious liver infection caused by the hepatitis A virus.

Hepatitis E

A liver disease caused by the hepatitis E virus. COURTESY: DIRECTORATE OF HEALTH ,NNAMDI AZIKIWE UNIVERSITY. WE CARE

WHO IS A WOMAN??

Having vagina, boobs, and hips doesn't make you a woman.

A woman is the one who feeds a man with encouragement and ideas 

A woman is the one who helps a man to save and invest wisely .

A woman does not run her mouth with sarcasm and insult just to prove a point, rather her words are gracious and can heal a broken heart .

A woman is the one that knows when to talk and to keep Quiet.

A woman is the one that doesn't leak secret. 

A woman is the one that is content with what she has, and not the one that sells her self for material things.

A woman is a manager, a caretaker,a womb that can nature and birth destinies .

A woman doesn't do trending things, but she is reserved and has a taste of a Queen.

A woman doesn't look down on any man because of his present state of life and financial status, rather she encourages any man to get better.

A woman is the one that does not just bears babies, but bear ideas and inspiration anytime, anywhere.

A woman  is the one a man can cry on her shoulders and not feel humiliated for doing so nor lose his value . 

A woman is not the one that deceive a man just to eat his money, but the one who is honest and sincere in any relationship.

.A woman. Is not the one that makes men feel terrible, but the one a man can run to for comfort.

A woman is the one that will spoil a man with honour  and respect because there lies her strength and integrity .

A woman is an influence, a nation and a helper. 

Many are females but only few can be called a woman.

Now ask yourself today, 

am I a woman.

Rules of courtship

1. Courtship is not where you choose who to marry, it is where you test your choice.

2. The beautiful thing is that the test in courtship is both ways, you are both a candidate and an examiner.

3. Even if you heard God, courtship is when you see how you match. What do you need to adjust and what is a prayer point?

4. You are both God's imperfect gifts. Courtship is where you learn the kind of imperfection you are dealing with.

5. Courtship is where you come to and may have to run back to God and ask 'is this the one or I should expect another?'

6. Oftentimes, courtship is God's major test for your own readiness. It can stretch you so hard your immaturity snaps.

7. When you start having sex, you have stopped courting, you have started marriage! That thing blinds too much.

8. The more premarital sex goes on in the world, the more marriages will fail because discipline and preparation is lost.

9. Failed courtships account for a lot of failed marriages. The lost art of preparation is the reason for bad performance.

10. Whilst I don't prescribe any length of time, you better get yourself some time before marriage to relate and familiarize; to appreciate who you both are on a basic level, to reasonably forecast the full weight of what your combination will be, to reasonably predict outcomes and appreciate signals of both pleasures and pressures.

11. Courtship must not end in marriage if you realize the choice was a mistake or the choice is corrupted. The next points will explain.

12. God anointed King Saul but rejected Him. God can give you a partner and because of their personal choices reject them before marriage.

13. I know you have been going out for so so and so years, but that's not enough to marry a person you suddenly realize is outside GOD'S order for you.

14. Don't lie to yourself about the truth in courtship; marriage tells bitter truths to those who lie such lies.

15. Don't stay in the relationship on blackmail when your heart knows it's over.

GRANNIES AND GRANDPA'S: A GIFT TO HUMANITY

"I am with you always..", Pope Francis says in his address regarding the celebration of the elderly and grandparents.

More often than not, we are so busy and occupied that we tend to forget about our lives ones. More especially our elderly ones, who have over the years nurtured us and brought us to become what we today. These persons which we are encouraged to celebrate today always commended us in prayer to God, advised us and even support us emotionally.

We are thus challenged by the soothing words of the Pope to make that promise of Christ to be with us always become a reality in the lives of our elderly ones.

Let me even ask, when last did you speak to your grandma and grandpa for those whose are still alive. Even those whose have departed this world, when last did you pray for the repose of their souls?? Let us examine our consciences today and begin to accord the elderly amongst us the respect they deserve.

May Ss Joachim and Anne, the grandparents of Jesus intercede for us all. Amen.

ACTING VICTIM!

I always hear ladies say "He just used and dumped me, after all I suffered with him, after all I did for him ".

My dear friend, if you didn't give him your kidney, sell your father's land or give him a loan to start a business, you did nothing.

That you drank garri with him is because you're also broke. If not, you would have prepared a decent meal. That you stayed in the gutters or under the bridge with him is not a sacrifice, because if you had a palace,you wouldn't have done that.

About using you, my dear, if it was a mutual agreement between both of you, then you shouldn't say he used you. You both had fun and used yourselves

The only reason you feel hurt and left out is because you abandoned yourself in his shadow. You lost yourself in him. While he is staying out at night thinking outside the box, while he's setting goals and achieving them, you were busy counting the days, waiting for him to blow or hammer .While he was investing in his future, you left yours stagnant without any meaningful long term plans. A young guy is struggling to survive, struggling to make it, but you will come in the name of girlfriend to ask him money for hair, shoes , cream, soap, pad, undies, thereby spending what he's supposed to be saving or investing , and in the end, you begin to wail on how he used and dumped you after suffering with him.

My dearest sisters, my point is, stop supporting him in bed. Start supporting his dreams, ideas, and vision. As he's struggling to establish himself, strive to make yourself relevant, add values to yourself, make your own money, too. Don't depend totally on him.

If you don't contribute anything tangible either in cash, assistance , anything that's progressive or crucial towards his success, don't play victim if he gets tired of the relationship.

Times have changed. Men are no longer the only ones winning bread , women are now bread winners, too.

Sex is not enough!

Love is not enough!

Have a purpose!