ZOO FUN

A graduate in zoology was having difficulties in finding job...... He saw an advert in one of the daily news paper for a job at a zoo.

At the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla which has been a tourists attraction has died, so they needed someone to dress and disguise as a gorilla since they have not been able to afford a new gorilla.

The graduate was embarrassed but since the salary was very okay and attractive, he accepted the job offer

On the first day, he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, started jumping up and down, beating his chest while roaring like a gorilla..

The next day, he put on the gorilla skin and started moving around the zoo again and mistakenly entered another cage untill he found himself starring at a lion , the lion roared and started moving towards him.

The scared graduate forgot that he was a gorilla and started shouting like a human being "help! help!! help!!!".,, The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered onto one of his ear; emeka, it's me chibike your course mate, no fear, guy no work for these country,....., Infact you see that crocodile wey dey inside that water , Na ndubesi your class rep be that.

Just for fun

Mess with Intelligent People

When Nelson Mandela was studying law at the University, a white professor, whose last name was Peters, disliked him intensely.

One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room when Mandela came along with his tray & sat next to the professor.

The professor said,

"Mr Mandela, you do not understand, a pig & a bird do not sit together to eat"

Mandela looked at him as a parent would a rude child & calmly replied,

*"You do not worry professor. I'll fly away,"*

& he went & sat at another table.

Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge.

The next day in class he posed the following question:

"Mr. Mandela, if you were walking down the street & found a package, & within was a bag of wisdom & another bag with money, which one would you take ?"

Without hesitating, Mandela responded, "The one with the money, of course."

Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said,

"I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."

Nelson Mandela shrugged & responded, *"Each one takes what he doesn't have."*

Mr. Peters, by this time was about to throw a fit, seething with fury. So great was his anger that he wrote on Nelson Mandela's exam sheet the word *"IDI0T"* & gave it to the future struggle icon.

Mandela took the exam sheet & sat down at his desk trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Nelson Mandela got up, walked up to the professor & told him in a dignified polite tone,

"Mr. Peters, *you signed your name on the sheet*, but you forgot to give me my grade."

ZOO FUN

A graduate in zoology was having difficulties in finding job...... He saw an advert in one of the daily news paper for a job at a zoo.

At the interview, the manager told him that their gorilla which has been a tourists attraction has died, so they needed someone to dress and disguise as a gorilla since they have not been able to afford a new gorilla.

The graduate was embarrassed but since the salary was very okay and attractive, he accepted the job offer

On the first day, he put on the gorilla skin and entered the cage, started jumping up and down, beating his chest while roaring like a gorilla..

The next day, he put on the gorilla skin and started moving around the zoo again and mistakenly entered another cage untill he found himself starring at a lion , the lion roared and started moving towards him.

The scared graduate forgot that he was a gorilla and started shouting like a human being "help! help!! help!!!".,, The lion leaped onto him, knocked him to the ground and whispered onto one of his ear; emeka, it's me chibike your course mate, no fear, guy no work for these country,....., Infact you see that crocodile wey dey inside that water , Na ndubesi your class rep be that.

Just for fun

FACTS ABOUT HEPATITIS

HEPATITIS is an inflammation of the liver.

MOST COMMON TYPES ARE :

Hepatitis B

A serious liver infection caused by the hepatitis B virus that's easily preventable by a vaccine.

Hepatitis C

An infection caused by a virus that attacks the liver and leads to inflammation.

Alcoholic hepatitis

Liver inflammation caused by drinking too much alcohol.

Autoimmune hepatitis

Inflammation in the liver that occurs when the immune system attacks the liver.

Hepatitis D

A serious liver disease caused by infection with the hepatitis D virus.

Hepatitis A

A highly contagious liver infection caused by the hepatitis A virus.

Hepatitis E

A liver disease caused by the hepatitis E virus. COURTESY: DIRECTORATE OF HEALTH ,NNAMDI AZIKIWE UNIVERSITY. WE CARE

WHO IS A WOMAN??

Having vagina, boobs, and hips doesn't make you a woman.

A woman is the one who feeds a man with encouragement and ideas 

A woman is the one who helps a man to save and invest wisely .

A woman does not run her mouth with sarcasm and insult just to prove a point, rather her words are gracious and can heal a broken heart .

A woman is the one that knows when to talk and to keep Quiet.

A woman is the one that doesn't leak secret. 

A woman is the one that is content with what she has, and not the one that sells her self for material things.

A woman is a manager, a caretaker,a womb that can nature and birth destinies .

A woman doesn't do trending things, but she is reserved and has a taste of a Queen.

A woman doesn't look down on any man because of his present state of life and financial status, rather she encourages any man to get better.

A woman is the one that does not just bears babies, but bear ideas and inspiration anytime, anywhere.

A woman  is the one a man can cry on her shoulders and not feel humiliated for doing so nor lose his value . 

A woman is not the one that deceive a man just to eat his money, but the one who is honest and sincere in any relationship.

.A woman. Is not the one that makes men feel terrible, but the one a man can run to for comfort.

A woman is the one that will spoil a man with honour  and respect because there lies her strength and integrity .

A woman is an influence, a nation and a helper. 

Many are females but only few can be called a woman.

Now ask yourself today, 

am I a woman.

Rules of courtship

1. Courtship is not where you choose who to marry, it is where you test your choice.

2. The beautiful thing is that the test in courtship is both ways, you are both a candidate and an examiner.

3. Even if you heard God, courtship is when you see how you match. What do you need to adjust and what is a prayer point?

4. You are both God's imperfect gifts. Courtship is where you learn the kind of imperfection you are dealing with.

5. Courtship is where you come to and may have to run back to God and ask 'is this the one or I should expect another?'

6. Oftentimes, courtship is God's major test for your own readiness. It can stretch you so hard your immaturity snaps.

7. When you start having sex, you have stopped courting, you have started marriage! That thing blinds too much.

8. The more premarital sex goes on in the world, the more marriages will fail because discipline and preparation is lost.

9. Failed courtships account for a lot of failed marriages. The lost art of preparation is the reason for bad performance.

10. Whilst I don't prescribe any length of time, you better get yourself some time before marriage to relate and familiarize; to appreciate who you both are on a basic level, to reasonably forecast the full weight of what your combination will be, to reasonably predict outcomes and appreciate signals of both pleasures and pressures.

11. Courtship must not end in marriage if you realize the choice was a mistake or the choice is corrupted. The next points will explain.

12. God anointed King Saul but rejected Him. God can give you a partner and because of their personal choices reject them before marriage.

13. I know you have been going out for so so and so years, but that's not enough to marry a person you suddenly realize is outside GOD'S order for you.

14. Don't lie to yourself about the truth in courtship; marriage tells bitter truths to those who lie such lies.

15. Don't stay in the relationship on blackmail when your heart knows it's over.