MARRIAGE BEFORE DEVELOPMENT

Do not get married before you've developed yourself to a level that you can survive on your own or with your kids without the support of whoever you're marrying.

This may sound obvious but people keep putting all their eggs in one basket and later they come out crying and acting surprised when they suddenly find themselves alone with the kids yet they never took the time to equip themselves for any job.

People change and abscond or betray you, death or disease happens and the provider now needs to be provided for, or they lose their job or income. Anything. If this happens when you had a diploma or degree or competence in welding or tailoring, the inconvenience will be shorter because you'll jump to action right away and take up the role.

But if you have to scrape and seek any odd jobs or start training from scratch, that's a hell of an experience. Think ahead and prepare.

Marriage is not a rite of passage that you need to do by a certain age or because some people expect you to do it. What you need to do by a certain point in your life, in fact, is individuation.

As soon as you're out of your parent's care you must start building your capacity for becoming a parent yourself. If you don't pay attention to this and give it priority you'll mix personal development with premature marriage and the duties and demands of marriage life will carry you away. Before you know it, time is gone and you've never trained or specialised in any skill you can work in and sustain yourself.

Never depend on the one who's marrying you to give you basic development. You're mixing issues and losing your objectivity and clarity. You might end up marrying the one who is willing to educate you rather than the one with whom you can build the life you envision. Of course when people get married they continue developing each other through further education or building a business, but the basic training that makes you capable of working should be done prior to entering marriage. Paradoxically, this level of self development will attract more respect from your partner and increase the chances of the marriage lasting a lifetime, as opposed to them knowing you're helpless without them and taking you for granted.

THREE MARITAL STAGES

Marriage has three stages. The first stage is called honeymoon and lasts about two years. This stage is very sweet, nice, and romantic. This is where you find names like honey, sweetheart, baby, and so on.

In this stage, everything is perfect. This is a stage where a man returns home and dumps his socks and shoes anywhere but in the morning, he will wake up and find them placed where they're supposed to be. This is where madam doesn't go to bed until you return home. She sits in the living room and receives all the mosquito bites waiting for you till you return, takes a shower, and enjoys supper. Even if you return at midnight, you find her waiting for you.

This first stage is beautiful with a lot of tolerance. This is a stage where at night while in bed, you release very toxic gas and your spouse instead apologizes. Remember, you have gassed but again he tells you, "Sorry darling, it's okay." This is unbelievable. Madam has gassed but to you, it's okay. Oh my God, this is sweet. Everything is just merry-making during this stage. In conclusion, enjoy this stage as much as we can.

The second stage lasts for ten years! This is where the honeymoon is over. This stage is red hot. During this stage, perhaps financial challenges have come in. You have given birth and the children are also disturbing you. Sometimes you are yet to give birth but really want to and the pressure on you is mounting from all corners. Landlords have become Landlords. There is a loss of employment. Things are just tight.

Life is hard in this second stage. The man who used to return home early now returns very late. Sometimes he doesn't even return home. There are suspicions of infidelity and cheating. You don't trust each other. You feel your spouse is cheating, and in fact, he or she is cheating. When you return home and leave your shoes outside, in the morning, you find them where you left them. Things are hot here.

This is a stage where at night, you release toxic gas and your partner asks what you ate during supper time yet you ate the same meals. He can even leave the bed and spend the night in the sitting room simply because you gassed. Imagine only gassing.

The second stage is hot. There are fights; spiritual, physical, and in all aspects. This is the stage where you reach the point of considering separating. Each spouse shows his or her true colors in this stage. A night dancer switches on the reggae mixes the music, and punches the baseline. Your relatives taste the greedy side of your wife.

Those who persevere and overcome this stage end up keeping their marriage till death does them part. However, very many hang up the towel in this stage. They quit. In conclusion, Those who are in this stage should fight a little longer, not hang up the towel. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Just a little longer and you are done with this heat.

Finally, there's the last stage. This comes after the ten red hot years. This last stage is lukewarm. It's neither cold nor hot. You gas at large and no one applauds you or complains. You have seen enough of each other. You have known each other's true colors.

In this stage, whatever your partner does no longer surprises you. If she quarrels, you just say that is the nature of this woman. If he is still late out in the night, you don't even bother to call since you know he will return. If she doesn't serve you food and you feel hungry, you just go and serve food otherwise, hunger hits you for nothing

This stage is not for disturbing one another. There is a lot of calmness and commands are few. This is where if you are watching TV with her in the sitting room and you feel thirsty, you don't send her to bring you drinking water but only wait when she's moving in the direction where there is water and you tell her if she is coming back, she can come along with some water. If she asks you to repeat what you just said, you have to pretend like you didn't say anything. All of a sudden, she shocks you and returns with drinking water. There is mutual respect in this stage. In conclusion, Those in this stage should just work for eternity.

Congratulation to those who are in this stage for, they have come from far.

Amen and amen

Have a wonderful reflection on this post.

This can be related to new couple-to-be, less than ten years marriage & finally btw 20 - 80 years of marriage

Good morning my people.

For counseling and prayers

Feel free to chat or call me on

+2347065115221.

Dr Okechi cares and loves you

ADVICE FOR ALL SINGLE MEN

Before a good woman say yes to you, she want to know.

* Are you family oriented, no sane woman will marry a man who is not family oriented, a woman wants a man who has family insight.

* No sane woman will marry a man who lacks ambition, you must have the ambition over a vision, dream,purpose.

* No good woman will marry a man that is not goal oriented or focus, queen cara will not even try it talking of other women.

* No good woman will want to marry a man who doesn't believe in being a helper,provider ,supporter , every woman want a man who they can depend on.

* No good woman will marry a man that is not spiritual , listen marriage is a union filled with two spirit filled spouse, a good woman want a gate keeper as a husband.

* No good woman will marry a man who is not prepared both spiritually, physically, emotionally ,mentally, she want a man who is steady and prepared in all ramifications.

* She want a protector, not an abuser, she want a man with clarity not a confuse man, she want a guardian.

* She want a father not just a husband, a father loves his daughter irrespective of every circumstances, that is the love she want, a man whom will love her forever.

A man whom will defend her

A man whom will teach her

She want a director

She want a learning mate

She want a teacher

She want a comforter

She want a confident

I pray for every young sweet lady looking for a man to marry may you never marry a man who is not the will of God for you.

Jesus Christ is the key to the type of love you are looking for he loved you first and gave his life for you despite your imperfections, flaws, shortcomings he still loves you.

I walk you into the love and you are looking for , surrender all to Jesus Christ and he is the gate and door step to the love you are craving for.

I pray that you recieve the divine love, divine wisdom tht Jesus has for you, i pray that you walk into his love and purpose for you in Jesus name .

QUALITIES OF A GODLY MARRIED MAN

A godly husband respects his wife. Respect is one of the most important factors in any relationship, especially in the eyes of God. What so many marriages are missing today is God as the foundation. Too often, couples overlook the importance of God in their relationship decision-making.

Basically, here are the qualities of a godly married man you will definitely find.

A real man fears God because a man who doesn’t fear God will not have regard for human feelings and will not know how to truly love.

A real man is faithful. He will not cheat on you. He has no alternative so he focuses on you alone! Love doesn’t double date!

He will not flirt with your girlfriends! He is reliable and trustworthy.

He is faithful to you no matter the pressure from other ladies

He is not proud to say *“I’m Sorry"* if that is what will save the relationship because he loves you! Love is not proud!

A real man wait for sex until your wedding night and never deprive you of his body after the wedding!

A real man is a man of prayer. He prays for and with you.

He Will feel terrible when he forgets your birthday or anniversary and will always make it up to you.

A real man is a giver. He Surprises you with gifts, even when the occasion is not special. He’s not stingy.

He Tells you regularly that he loves and cherishes you.

He understands you even if nobody does and always makes you feel you are the best

A real man is a good leader. He never Threatens to leave you or divorce you no matter what happens. A Real Man Is A Forgiver!

He Feels your pain when you go through hard times and stands by you until you overcome.

He Loves to see you happy and rejoices with you.

Despite his busy schedule, he always creates quality time to spend with you.

He Will never physically or emotionally abuse you because Love is Kind

He Will marry you without waiting too long.

He forgives and forgets when you apologize for hurting his feelings.

He will not use your weaknesses or secrets against you.

He will not air your dirty laundry.

He Is patient and willing to work on your relationship problems.

He Knows that it is important for you to spend some time with your friends and family members.

A man who loves you celebrate you in the public and he is not ashamed to tell the world how much he loves you!

He will not go out of his way to make you jealous.

He Will always respect you in the presence of his friends and family members.

He helps you with chores around the house.

He enjoys the company of your family and friends.

He Supports your dreams and ambitions.

He Never puts you down when talking to you.

He Cares a great deal about your thoughts, feelings and opinions.

He Is always available to help when you need him.

He Knows that his way is not the only way.

He cares. He always calls you to find out how your day is going

A real man is never lazy. He knows how to make money, save money and invest money wisely

A real man loves his children and he is ready to bring out the best in them

A real man is committed to the WORD OF GOD and challenges you to get closer to God!

And A Real Woman Never Takes His Love For Granted Because Such Man Is Rare To Find!

Man, May God Make u Such Man

Single Lady, May Such Man Find you

Married Woman, May God Make Your Husband A Real Man In Jesus name. Amen

For Prayers and counseling

What's app +2347065115221

Evang Okechi Iwunze .

A STORY YOU WILL ENJOY WRITTEN BY SOMEONE

My wife and I had an issue one very morning before we left for work. It was a small misunderstanding between me and her. We were both angry with each other. From my facial expression, my wife knew I was very prepared to keep malice with her that morning. She was also angry and didn't mind playing along.

I stepped out of the house and she locked the doors and followed me behind. Since we didn't have a car, we always boarded the same bus to work every morning and ensured we sat together- side by side on the bus. I was to drop at Terminus and she was to drop at the Old Airport in Jos.

But that day, I didn't want to sit close to her. So I sat at the back seat and she sat in front, just beside a soldier man.

The man glanced at my wife. I saw the way he looked at her hair and face with so much admiration. Then he told her she looked beautiful. My wife smiled and told him thank you.

He asked my wife where she was going and she told him she was heading to work.

All this while, I was sitting behind the soldier man and listening to their conversation.

"My name is Femi. I am a soldier man. I was just posted to Jos a month ago. Right now I am heading to my place of assignment."

My wife nodded her head. When the conductor requested for my wife to pay her transport fare, the soldier offered to pay. He pulled out money and paid on her behalf.

My wife thanked him and smiled.

Then the soldier man continued.

"So I will be dropping soon. I rented a house somewhere in town. I don't know if you can drop by someday to say hello to me. Can I have your number?"

I didn't waste any more time. I tapped my wife on her shoulders immediately.

She turned.

And then I asked her.

"Hope you remembered to put spoon inside Chukwudubem lunch box? You know you always forget."

My wife was puzzled. She was probably wondering who Chukwudubem is, and why I had chosen to talk to her. Before she could ask any further questions I added.

"Try to pick him up from school early today. I will be coming back home late. You can cook Eba for me for dinner so that when I return I will eat something before bed."

My wife was confused.

Then she glanced at the soldier man and returned her gaze to me. She understood what I was trying to do.

"Yes, honey." She nodded.

The soldier man turned and saw me. He greeted me. Then he asked my wife.

"Is that your husband?"

My wife nodded. The soldier man glanced at me again and again. Then he glanced for the last time and smiled at me.

I didn't smile back.

When I got to the next junction, I dropped from the bus and dragged my wife along with me.

My wife couldn't stop laughing. While we were about to board another bus, she asked me.

"Praises, who is Chukwudubem?"

"Chukwudubem is our future son. Enter bus let us go before I knack you katako."

My wife laughed.

We boarded another bus to work that day and this time, we sat together. Side by side in the bus.

When you give your partner distance, both emotionally and physically, you let the devil occupy that space. He takes your position without your permission and builds a home for himself in your place. Don't let the devil have a place in your home. Cover all grounds.

Make your presence known.

DANGERS OF SEXUAL SINS

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I AM WRITING THIS LETTER TO THOSE WHO ARE GENUINELY BORN AGAIN, BUT THEY ARE STRUGGLING WITH SOME SECRET SINS... BECAUSE, I WAS ONCE THERE!

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There is something glorious about your future God will show you, you will not need your pastor to keep preaching holiness message to you daily...

When you see a girl singing in the choir, yet, from the choir, she keeps sexual appointments, check that girl, she has not seen anything yet about her future...

When you see a young boy who dresses to church, to seduce those small girls to bed and his mates will be clapping for him, check that boy, he has a spiritual eye problem...

He hasn't seen anything about his future yet...

If you do it again and again and again, God will forgive you again and again and again...

But, while He is busy forgiving you, angels are busy searching for some one else heaven will use to replace you ...

What separates men before God is not how long they can pray or how much scriptures they know...

The value God places on people is not determined by the position they occupy in the church...

But how much they can bear for His Name sake...

Some times, He allows your salary to be delayed, to know if you will start stealing in your office...

Sometimes, He allows some lose ladies to start suggesting sex with you, to know if you have grown...

But unfortunately, you still fall again ....

Yes, He will forgive....

But, you will still remain in the same class in the school of glory...

Decision separates men...

There is an OIL that comes with separation...

The weight of a man is buried in the decisions he makes when no one is watching him ...

Many times, God allows you to be lonely so that you can be holy...

Forget this public revival messages all of us are preaching...

Many are still behind in the school of glory...

Not because they chose to, but because they still don't want to pay the price of separation...

If it takes a man to be married to be responsible, we will not have many married irresponsible men scattered all over the place who are renting houses for their girlfriends, while their wives are still at home....

When a man is due for marriage, he should get married...

But don't tell me to get married because you want me to escape fornication...

Marriage is not an escape route into a responsible life...

What you cannot control when you are single has the power to control you even when you are married ...

No matter how beautiful your wife will be, you will still see other beautiful ladies....

Teach me how to die to flesh sir...

Teach me that I can live alone in a house alone and yet, I will not think rubbish thoughts...

Joseph was not married before he ran away naked from Portiphar's wife bedroom ...

It was not a marital ring on his finger that made him refuse that gesture....

But because he knew the future God has planned for Him will be messed up by a single decision....

God wants to raise a generation of young boys and girls that will love God where no one is seeing them ...

God wants to raise a breed that doesn't appear holy only when they see their parents or their pastors...

This holiness by dressing is sending people from choir seats to hell fire...

They are dying in secret sins, yet, they have none to cry to, because, once they confess, they will be stigmatized...

Consequently, we are raising a generation that is speaking in tongues on their way to hell...

Sister, singing in choir doesn't confer value on men before God, but decision...

Stop attaching your spiritual growth on night vigils where you go and flog enemies ...

God is waiting for you when no one is there...

If you can succeed there, you will be a commander of the supernatural...

The greatest tool against the end time church is the adulteration of the message of grace...

They teach you that God will forgive...

But they will not teach you that God will not promote you to another class...

No matter how you love your child, you will not give him your car key to use when you know he has not perfected his driving...

As long as that child is finding it hard to drive perfectly, he will keep trekking to school...

There is someone reading this posts now, heaven is saying that you are due for manifestation, but you have not made a decision yet...

You are still afraid of hunger....

You don't want to starve....

You are ashamed of what people will say when you stop sleeping with men for money to pay bills...

They have even told you that there is no young person like you that doesn't have sexual partners...

That human beings were wired by God to fall and rise again...

Several times, you have made moves to delete all those phone numbers that connect you to your vomits...

But you have been afraid of the days of loneliness...

You don't want to miss those cuddles...

You don't know if you can ever look into his eyes and tell him: "No more sex"...

Even if he accepts, you are afraid that you might never cope...

Sister, don't let weekend orgasms rob you of eternal value...

Your enemy is no more that witch in the village....

But any man that is making you comfortable in a place of rebellion with God ...

Don't be in church singing in the choir and God will go to the nearest hotel and catch a prostitute, wash her, clean her and fill her with His power...

I know you have been trying to make amends ...

You have answered altar calls several times, yet, you still fall back, even more deeper ...

Some of us were there not too long ago...

Singing in choir, leading in powerful prayer sections, yet, battling with addictions...

Worse of all we were afraid to tell anyone...

Because, people around would never have understood how much we were trying to be better ...

We bought different anointing oil, from different men of God, yet, we were not free...

We even afflicted ourselves with fastings...

Yet, nothing changed ...

Until we encountered the Word of God.....

When Jesus said that " We are made clean by the Words that I speak unto you..."

We began to read and study the Bible...

Like Job, we began to esteem God's Word above our necessary food...

Gradually, addictions began to lose its grip...

God began to change our appetites...

Until today, the darkness is past, the true Light now shineth ...

Brother, I want to recommend you to the Word of God....

The Word of God will settle that lust issue...

Don't go and rush into marriage if you are not ready, because you want to avoid temptation...

The spirit of lust does not respect wedding ring...

Especially now that our sisters who are still in Babylon even prefer having it with married men ...

There are still single guys who are serving God in spirit and in truth...

5 chapters of the bible every day and 1 hour prayers or more...

You will see that your mind will stop going to those thoughts ...

Jesus did not say it is easy...

But He said that with God all things are possible ...

Your heart is beating faster now as you are reading this...

You are wondering if you will ever get free from the things you are struggling with...

Friend, that God that did it for us, He will show up on your case...

Receive grace to feast on the Word from now....

In Jesus Name...please teach the young ones in your church and God bless you.

There is no obligation to share. No whips or curses if you don't share. But we both know that when you share this, it goes a long way to help someone.

So I'm asking you to help someone .

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Thank you for reading

God bless you