*KISSING IN RELATIONSHIP AND COURTSHIP*

Pastor, can we kiss? Is kissing a sin? That is a question on the lips of many young people who are serving God, but cannot seem to keep away from kissing each other as an expression of their love.

True to it, and as a counselor, I know there are many Christians who are doing this regularly. As a young man myself in courtship, I never had sex with my fiancée then, but I kissed her a few times and I really felt guilty about it. In fact, the feeling I had was that the Holy Spirit was grieved at it. So, I am not oblivious of what you are going through exactly.

Now, having been married for some years, about nineteen years, I can tell you, that the strong urge to kiss as singles is just more of the devil trying to trip you than an expression of love! Folks in western countries might find this ridiculous as well, since they are more liberal and they often greet as well with no lust attached.

Some of us go ahead and quote the scripture to justify this act. Well, in a very a straight forward way, you will never find a scripture that forbids kissing or that says, “thou shall not kiss.” In fact what you find are scriptures that seems to be encouraging kissing, and that in the New Testament!

All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. (1 Corinthians 16:20 KJV)

Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you. (Romans 16:16 KJV)

Doesn’t this mean that God wants us to kiss?

The instruction to kiss that we see in the above verses and in some more places are verses that we have to consider in their cultural contexts.

The Jews usually greet one another with a kiss, somewhat on the cheek and not a direct mouth-to-mouth kiss or some French kiss

This is why Judas kissed Jesus Christ. He was just greeting him. It’s like a handshake.

And while he yet spake, behold a multitude, and he that was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them, and drew near unto Jesus to kiss him. (Luke 22:47 KJV)

Kisses with Jews as described above is a form of greeting in their culture, hence Paul termed it as holy kissing.

In Nigeria, we don’t kiss one another with a kiss. Hence, the Jewish kiss is holy, but the Nigerian kiss is not holy! In non–Jewish states, a kiss outside wedlock between two people who are in love, behind closed doors will not be holy because it will lead to some unholy things!

The initial kiss might even be holy, but after a while, the law of progression will step in and before you know it, kissing will lead to some other things.

If I come into a meeting with my wife and an usher grabs my wife and plants a kiss on her, I will remove my suit and fight! Why? We don’t greet each other with some mouth-to-mouth kiss! If your handshake dey too long sef, I fit suspect you, not to talk of a kiss!

If you and your fiancée are kissing each other behind the church and as your pastor, I bump into you, who will apologise? It’s you! If as your Pastor, I’m kissing my wife behind the church, and you bump into us, who will still apologise? It is still you! Because we are married!

You see after marriage, if you want to kiss yourself 24 hours a day for the next one month; God is okay with it! Why? Your body belongs to each other! But after marriage, you will know that it is not all about kissing! It is about school fees, and house rent and pampers! You won’t feel like kissing all the time! So why would you want to jeopardise your relationship with God with what you can do as long as you want eventually?

The idea of holding on is where maturity is, and it is all about self-control. This is what separates the boys from the men! Ability to delay gratification!

Young ladies, when a guy comes and says, “let’s kiss,” you don’t submit your lips like you are submitting paper in examination hall. The power of life and death lies in your mouth! If the guy is hungry, why must it be your mouth that he would eat? If he is really hungry, doesn’t he know where they sell Kpomo (treated cowhide) in the market?

For married people, feel free to kiss yourselves! Your spouse should love it, then go ahead and give it! It won’t be a sin!

But for singles, always have this at the back of your mind that when you are in love, what you did with him or her, the last time you met will not satisfy you the next time! It is a law, so you need to consciously guard against that.

Finally, let me say, it is not wise to meet somebody and the next thing is that you are kissing! There are people you kiss, and your jaws are locked. There are people you kiss, and as it were, you cannot pray again. There are strange mouths you kiss for five minutes, and it leads to regrets for the next five years! There are poeple you kiss, and your destiny is arrested. If you doubt that, ask Jesus, for it was the kiss of Judas that led to his arrest!

*CONFESSION FOR THE DAY*

I have understanding of God's word and I have self control

*PRAYER FOR THE DAY*

Lord, teach me self control by your Spirit

*THOUGHT FOR THE DAY*

A man without self- control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Proverbs 25:28 ESV)

*ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY*

If you have been kissing outside wedlock, decide to stop today

Contacts Rev Dr okechi Iwunze on what's app for counselling 

+2347065115221

SEX AND MOANING

1. Moaning is a vocal expression of sexual pleasure

2. Moaning encourages your spouse to keep on doing what he/she is doing to give you pleasure

3. The sweeter the pleasure, the more passionate the moaning

4. Pay attention to your spouse's moan. When you hear your spouse moan more, keep on doing that act. Moaning is a like a tip, a guide to knowing how to please your spouse

5. Don't lay lifeless, soundless, motionless in bed when your spouse is having sex with you. It communicates that you are not interested

6. The sweet names you call your spouse during love making, "Sweetheart", "Hun", "Babe".. don't be using them only during love making, use them also when sex is not the agenda. Show your spouse that you value him/her for more than an orgasm

7. Some people use colorful words during moaning such as "F*ck, that feels so good!". If you have such a colorful spouse, he/she is not insulting you, that is not the time to be a grammar police, your spouse is just feeling really good because of you. If you will use colorful words, make sure they don't offend your spouse

8. Don't copy moaning sounds in movies or try and imitate porn star moans; be you, don't act

9. Most people close their eyes when they moan. The feeling is intense

10. As you moan be aware of your surrounding. If you live very close to neighbors, watch your volume; enjoy but don't disturb the peace of others

11. As you moan, be conscious of the children if they are sleeping near. Lest they think mom and dad are having a bedroom fight

12. If you want those moments where you can unleash yourself the most and moan your loudest; occasionally book a room in a hotel that is sound proof and scream your lungs there

13. Moaning adds to the memorable experience of the love making. It is the soundtrack to the act

14. If your mind is lusting after another; you might find yourself calling that person's name while having sex with your spouse. Who preoccupies your fantasies?

15. Don't compare your spouse's moan with that of your ex/exes. Enjoy your spouse as he/she is

16. For most men, their moan is tied to their breathing. They moan and breathe louder as the pleasure intensifies. He breathes a loud "Ahhh" as he ejaculates

17. In most cases, the woman is the cheerleader during love making. Her moaning boosts the man's ego, urging him to continue

18. When your spouse moans as if he/she is about to climax, that is not the time to stop. Finish the job, keep doing that thing; take him/her there. Don't frustrate your spouse and lose momentum

19. Most people increase their moan and the passion of the moan when they are about to climax

20. After the highest moan and the climax, seal it with the words "I love you"

21. Moans are special. Only that special someone gets to hear your pleasure sounds

HOW TO APOLOGISE TO YOUR SPOUSE

1. Don't justify why you did wrong. Accept it was wrong

2. Don't seduce your spouse into sex hoping that sex will make your spouse forget the wrong you did and you can escape humbling yourself to say sorry

3. Don't blame your spouse for making you do something wrong. Be an adult. Take responsibility for your actions

4. Don't send friends, family or siblings to apologise on your behalf. It shows cowardice. Face the one you have wronged

5. Don't belittle the wrong you did as if showing your spouse he/she is overreacting. If it is a big deal to your spouse, take it as a big deal

6. Don't start listing your spouse's past wrongs when your spouse confronts you on your current wrong. Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs

7. Don't apologise on social media or put a post on Facebook or WhatsApp status hoping your spouse will see it without saying anything in private. Make your apology personal and heartfelt

8. Don't brush it off and move on as if nothing happened just because you know your spouse loves you. Don't sweep things under the carpet

9. Don't throw money and gifts at your spouse and doing good deeds without addressing the hurt you have caused and the issue. You can't buy your way into healing. Healing is emotional, not material

10. Don't apologise rudely and casually saying "Aah, OK then, I am sorry then if that will make you stop complaining" just because your spouse has asked for an apology. Show genuine remorse

11. Don't wait for when your spouse has decided to divorce you or to break up with you to let go of your ego and say sorry. You might be too late

12. Apologise as soon as possible, sincerely, acknowledging your fault, recognising how it hurts your spouse, assuring him/her of your love and commiting to do better.

THE PRAYER POPE FRANCIS WANTS US TO PRAY

Catholic News outlasts are reporting that The Holy Father in his General Audience has asked The Catholic Faithful to keep a copy of this prayer with them to invoke The Holy Spirit, using The Sequence-Prayer from The Liturgy used on The Feast of Pentecost.

“When I don’t know what to do, I say come Holy Spirit!

When I am weak or sad, or about to fall, I say come Holy Spirit!” declared The Holy Father.

“Come, Holy Spirit, come! And from your celestial home, shed a ray of light divine! Come, come, Father of the poor! Come, Source of all our store! Come, within our bosoms shine. You, of comforters the best; You the soul’s most welcome Guest; Sweet refreshment … Come,” the pope said, reciting the first half of the prayer for the pilgrims gathered in Vatican Hall.

Pope Francis added that if Catholics did not have the prayer on hand, they could simply pray “Come, Holy Spirit” — as “the Madonna and the Apostles prayed during the days when Christ ascended into heaven.”

An ardent supporter of The Charismatic Renewal in The Church, His great devotion to The Holy Spirit is well documented.

As Cardinal in Buenos Aires Argentina he met once a week with Pentecostal Protestant Pastors of Buenos Aires to pray for unity and a fresh Pentecost, and is said to be the first Pope in modern times who prays in Tongues.

One young Pastor, the late Rev.Tony Palmer became a spiritual son to him.

Pentecostal Pastor Palmer was one of the first persons The Holy Father called from Rome upon being elected Pope-

He has met several times as Pope with The Pentecostal leaders in Rome, and has welcomed a deligation of American Pentecostal Pastors Including Kenneth Copeland and James Robinson for three days of prayer and dialogue-at The Apostolic Palace, prompting Kenneth Copeland to say, “ This is a Spirit-filled man; The Reformation is over.”

(Kenneth Copeland was responding to the monumental document of agreement signed by Lutheran Leaders and The Vatican in a joint declaration on Justification.

It was Martin Luther’s views on Justification that sparked The Protestant Deformation and 500 years of chaos and 400,000 Protestant Sects and counting)

Pentecostal Healing Evangelist Benny Hinn who has also been a guest of The Holy Father claimed two years ago at a large healing crusade in Nigeria, -quote-“Do you know that more Catholics get healed than Pentecostals?

Do you know why?

It’s because of their Eucharist!”

“While there are many mountains of theological differences to overcome, all Christians are united in Christ by virtue of their Faith and Baptism in The Power of The Holy Spirit,” offered William Timothy Lester of OLOFOB to Evening Light News.

“Countless Evangelicals are finding their way Home to The Church Jesus founded.

This is a Grace of The Holy Spirit.”

The full text of The Sequence Prayer for The Feast of Pentecost is HERE:

Let us pray:

PENTECOST SUNDAY SEQUENCE

Come, Holy Spirit, come.

And from your celestial home

Shed a ray of light divine.

Come, Father of the poor.

Come, source of all our store.

Come, within our bosoms shine.

You, of comforters the best;

You, the soul’s most welcome guest;

Sweet refreshment here below;

In our labor, rest most sweet;

Grateful coolness in the heat;

Solace in the midst of woe.

O most blessed Light divine,

Shine within these hearts of yours,

And our inmost being fill.

Where you are not, we have naught,

Nothing good in deed or thought,

Nothing free from taint of ill.

Heal our wounds, our strength renew;

On our dryness pour your dew;

Wash the stains of guilt away:

Bend the stubborn heart and will;

Melt the frozen, warm the chill;

Guide the steps that go astray.

On the faithful, who adore

And confess you, evermore

In your sevenfold gift descend;

Give them virtue’s sure reward;

Give them your salvation, Lord;

Give them joys that never end.

Amen. Alleluia.

No one is indispensible

No one is indispensable, when you start a mission prepare to an exit.

SEX BEFORE AND AFTER WEDDING

When you are single, you look forward to marriage so that you can get all the sex that comes with no guilt. You want to give your body to the right one, you keep off the hyenas who only want your sex and leave you hurting.

When you are dating, sex talk is exciting with your partner. You tell your partner, "Wait till we're married; I will sex you real good till you scream"

When you're newly married, sex is an instant activity, you spank each other, sex in every corner, experiment every position, gymnastics in bed.

When you two are starting to get deeper in marriage, and the sex becomes less frequent, you start to wonder if you love each other the same.

When the two are deep in marriage, consumed with responsibilities, sex becomes elusive and not a must. You two actually have to plan to have sex lest you forget that you have that sweet act to explore in marriage.

When the two start to go through challenges, some couples exchange insults, they struggle to find each other sexy, some unfortunately turn to outsiders for sex leading to regret; others hold on to their sex deficient marriage and eventually their marriage grows stronger.

When the two find the deeper meaning of love, sex becomes more special, faithfulness thrives and the couple can have intimacy without necessarily having sex.

When the two advance in life, children grow and life becomes more stable and predictable, sexual activity increases; perhaps because they know they have a limited time to have sex. They say a woman in her 40s is highly sexual, maybe because she is now more confident about her womanhood and needs. She's been through it all and now she is assertive.

When the two get to sexual retirement age, the couple hold each other's wrinkled hands and reminisce on their sexual encounters of yesterday.

When the two are really old, no sex because she can't get wet and he can't rise to the occasion, that's when the definition of a companion is strongest.

At the end of the day, sex is actually not such a big deal; what the human soul needs is companionship. Unfortunately we pursue multiple shallow sexual encounters and never get to enjoy true companionship. Don't let something that is not a big deal lead you to wrong relationships or make you mess up what is not important.

Sex is easy to get, it just needs two horny people with sexual organs; but intimacy and love is rare, a blessing and takes time to cultivate.

Find your soul companion and love your soul companion till death do you part, your sexiness has an expiry date but love is for life. How do you know you've found your soul companion? That person with whom if sex is taken out of the equation, you two have something special; one day sex will not be part of the equation.

Don't rush to take yourself away from where God has prepared for you. Thanks