Marriage Vows

 

It is your right to know the content of the marriage vows before the day of your wedding. You must understand the words used, their meanings and implications and be sure it is something you agree to. It is highly recommended that you even memorize them.

This is far more important than booking for make-up artists ahead of the wedding day or a hall or cake or distributing aseobi materials upandan.

But as always, we will always major in the minors, and like a friend will add, "and minor in the majors."

Let me make this emphasis. . .the most important part of a church wedding is the exchange of vows. The words of the vows are the heart, the soul, the kpim, if you like. . .the essential element of the sacrament of marriage; they form the covenant that establishes the couple’s marriage.

The Church calls the exchange of vows consent, which is to say, it is the act of the will by which a man and a woman give themselves FREELY to each other and accept the gift of the other. Marriage CAN'T happen without the declaration of consent.

There is also this growing trend among couples to brag about the number of priests or

Bishops that attended their wedding. Even church members will be like, 30 priests came for his wedding. Three Arch Popes laid hands on them. And like in this picture of Moses Bliss and his wife, you could already see what I mean.

While it is good that ministers attend your wedding and pray for you, it is not their prayers that made you man and woman (husband and wife), rather, it is your vow or consent before God and his people. It is not also the hands laid on you that make you both stay together but your convictions every day to keep to the vows you made to each other.

For Catholics preparing for marriage, this is what you will see. . .

Before the Marriage vows, there are three questions that the priest will ask. . . These questions will ascertain if you are ready to enter into marriage.

They are:

1. "(Name of the Man) and (name of the woman), have you come here to enter into Marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"

2. "Are you prepared, as you follow the path of Marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?"

3. "Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

The bride and groom respond "I have" or "I am"

After this, the priest will then invite the bride and groom to make their vows. There are about four options of the vows, but below is the standard version. Note: The man and the woman will say the same thing bearing in mind their names.

"I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you all the days of my life."

If you do a careful word-to-word analysis of the above, you will understand the depth and weight of the vows.

Now, assuming everyone making this vow keeps them, most of the problems we are having today in marriages will cease to exist.

@fada Ugwu

Is Divorce a Sin?

I think the right question should be, did Jesus Permit divorce? Did God permit divorce? In other words, are you even allowed to divorce before you start talking about whether it is a sin or not?

The straight answer is that Jesus never permitted divorce. Once marriage is validly contracted, even adultery as some of you wrongly allege is not a ground for divorce.

I know this whole misunderstanding is coming from Jesus' statement in Matthew 19:9. I will clarify it. But before then, I am not writing this to give people a license to cheat on their spouses. As a matter of fact, you owe your spouse fidelity and faithfulness. It is their right. You are not doing them a favor by being faithful.

Back to Matthew 19:9 where it seemed Jesus gave an exception for divorce:

"Whoever divorces his wife except for unchastity and marries another commits adultery."

The exceptive clause, "EXCEPT FOR UNCHASTITY" is the major issue here. Simply put, unchastity is a good reason to divorce one's spouse.

You may want to ask, what constitutes 'unchastity?' We shall get to know soon.

We all remember that the New Testament was originally written in Greek bah?

The Greek word for unchastity is "PORNEIA." The Protestants argue that this Greek word "porneia" means adultery. This is why if you read the Protestant New International Version of the Bible, Matthew 19:9 is translated thus:

"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT FOR MARITAL UNFAITHFULNESS, and marries another woman commits adultery."

For most Protestants, though marriage is meant to last a lifetime, but adultery justifies divorce and remarriage. This is because they interpreted the Greek word "porneia" or "unchastity" as adultery.

This is not true. And this is not Catholic teaching.

Catholic biblical scholars believe that it is wrong to translate the Greek word "porneia" as adultery. In the Catholic New American Bible, Matthew 19:9 is translated thus:

"I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery."

Here, the exceptive clause is: "UNLAWFUL MARRIAGE."

If you read the King James Version of the Bible, the translation for PORNEIA is even more interesting. It translates Matthew 19:9 thus:

"And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for FORNICATION, and shall marry another committeth adultery."

Here, the exceptive clause is Fornication. And fornication is the sin of two unmarried people having sexual intercourse. If either person is married or both are married to other people, the sin is called adultery. Following this translation, the only way that a couple could commit fornication is if they were never really in a Christian marriage to begin with.

Many recent translations of porneia in Matt 19:9 used "sexual immoralities." That still begs the question of what sexual immoralities could mean.

In all these, what really is the correct translation for the word PORNEIA? Is it the Protestants' "adultery", the King James' "fornication", or the Catholics' "Unlawful marriage"? Even if porneia is to be seen as unchastity or sexual immoralities, what constitutes unchastity?

The answer to the above questions can be better clarified using the bible. I will give you two examples: Matthew 15:19 and Mark 7:21-22.

Matthew 15:19 "For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, ADULTERY, UNCHASTITY, theft, false witness, blasphemy."

Mark 7:21-22, "From within people, from their hearts, come evil thoughts, UNCHASTITY, theft, murder, ADULTERY, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly."

Pay attention to this: Adultery and unchastity are both prohibited in the texts above. If you read the Greek text, it is "porneia" that is translated as unchastity, in some bible it is translated as sexual immorality. While the Greek word "moicheia" is translated as adultery. Therefore, from these passages, we can see that porneia does not mean adultery as that would be an unnecessary repetition.

The word for adultery in Greek is 'moicheia.' If the author of Matthew 19:9 felt that Christ was talking about adultery, he wouldn't have used 'porneia' which means unchastity.

This is Matthew 19:9 in its original Greek

λέγω δὲ ὑμῖν ὅτι ὃς ἂν ἀπολύσῃ τὴν γυναῖκα αὐτοῦ μὴ ἐπὶ ΠΟΡΝΕΊΑΙ καὶ γαμήσῃ ἄλλην, ΜΟΙΧΑ͂ΤΑΙ.

I have put into capital letters two words:

πορνείᾳ (porneia) and μοιχᾶται (moichatai — verb form)

If the Bible intended that adultery is a ground for divorce, the two words would have been moicheia. And it will read thus: "I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for ADULTERY, and marries another woman commits ADULTERY."

But fortunately or unfortunately, that is not how it was written in the Bible.

If you read Act 15:28-29, the Apostles addressed the Gentiles prohibiting four things:

"For it has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things: that you abstain (1) from what has been sacrificed to idols, and (2) from blood and (3) from what is strangled and (4) from unchastity. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell." RSV (inserted numbers, mine)

Take note of the number (4), still talking about Porneia or Unchastity. These four prohibitions above came from a deep-rooted Jewish tradition found in Leviticus 17 and 18.

If you read Leviticus through, you will discover that in chapter 18, what the Jews mean by unchastity or Porneia was explicitly explained. It was simply an incestuous marriage. Having sexual intercourse with a close relative was greatly forbidden, not to talk of marriage. For the Jews, marriage of this nature is unlawful. This was what Christ was referring to in Matthew 19:9. It is a reference to an unlawful and thus invalid marriage. It is not a reference, as Protestants view it, to a specific act committed during a legitimate "life-long marriage.

Jesus' teaching on divorce was revolutionary. Remember that it was to answer the Jews who thought that one could divorce his wife for some reasons that made Jesus to give the answer he gave. If Jesus permitted divorce, what then makes his teaching different from the one Moses taught the Jews in the OT?

If Christ's teaching on divorce was that simple, how can one explain the surprise that surrounded the disciples when they responded in the next verse?

Matthew 19: 10, "(His) disciples said to him, 'If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.'"

©Fr Kelvin Ugwu

9 HABITS A MAN SHOULD PRACTICE ON HIS WOMAN:

1. Kiss her when she least expects it. She'll feel wanted

2. Tell her "I love you" in the middle of her talking to you. She'll end up smiling

3. Text her in the middle of the day just to tell her "I miss you". She'll feel thought of

4. Insist you will not start eating until she comes to sit down and you eat together. She'll feel special

5. Occasionally leave little notes of warm words under her pillow, on the fridge, in her hand bag or on her car seat. She'll feel cared for

6. Help her with house chores even without her asking. She'll feel part of a team

7. Touch/grab or rub her bum when she is cooking. She'll feel like a woman

8. Pretend you've forgotten her birthday then surprise her in the middle of the day with a gift. She'll feel excited

9. Occasionally give her mother a phonecall just to wish her a good day as her son-in-love. She'll feel surrounded by love

Remember: Many couples of today's generation got divorce due to lack of knowledge and guides on how to handle the needs of their partner....So these tips will help us and we master it for a better and happy relationship..God bless us all

10 Deep Psychology And Philosophy Quotes From "Carl Jung"

1. "The world will ask you who you are, and if you don't know, the world will tell you."

2. "If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely."

3. "Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves."

4. "Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research."

5. "You are what you do, not what you say you'll do."

6. "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people."

7. "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."

8. "Be grateful for your difficulties and challenges, for they hold blessings.

In fact... Man needs difficulties; they are necessary for healthy personal growth, individuation, and self-actualization."

9. "Everyone you meet knows something you don't know but need to know. Learn from them."

10. “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

The Catholic Church has a well-defined structure. by fada Ugwu

The Catholic church is one of the most organized institutions in the world.

Even as a priest, I cannot go to any diocese (place) and begin to operate without the diocesan Bishop of that place giving me the authority to do so.

I may be so gifted, possessing the powers to celebrate the sacraments as a priest, but I need what is called faculty (authority) to exercise those gifts or powers.

As a Catholic fellow, the chief shepherd of your diocese is the Bishop. If there is any priest or lay faithful who is operating a prayer ministry that is not approved by the Bishop in your diocese, you are bound not to go there. If you do, you are living in disobedience.

And if you want to reflect on this deeper, you can think of Adam and Eve. Their sin is not that they ate the fruit, but that they disobeyed the command given to them not to eat it.

So when there is a prayer ministry springing up, as a faithful Catholic, what you should first ask is, did the bishop approve of it? If NO, whatever you do there, as long as you are a Catholic, is disobedience and disobedience is a sin.

Priests or laypeople can open a prayer ministry, but they have to get approval from the Bishop. There are procedures to go about this, and they all know that. The reason is to safeguard the faith of the people from errors and deceit.

Hate me if you want. Say anything you want to say. Threaten me if that makes you sleep well at night... As far as being Catholic is concerned, that is the teaching. And is a Full Stop!

This is why I told you, there is nothing like I am Catholic BUT...

It is either you are in or out. Don't confuse yourself

DEBUNKING MYTHS ABOUT SEX...

 DEBUNKING MYTHS ABOUT SEX...

1. WHEN THE MAN STRUGGLES TO ERECT, HE IS CHEATING

Sometimes a man will struggle to erect or sustain an erection because he is stressed, tired, overthinking or he feels you disrespect him as his wife. Don't be so quick to accuse him of cheating.

2. ONCE A CHEAT, ALWAYS A CHEAT

Yes, infidelity hurts; some continue with the lifestyle but others transform to stop and be a better spouse. People can change. Marriages can thrive after infidelity if the two choose to fight for it and heal it.

3. IF A WOMAN DOESN'T SQUIRT, SHE IS NOT SEXUALLY SATISFIED

Not every woman will squirt in their lifetime; some even don't long to squirt because they find it messy. Don't feel under pressure, intimacy is much deeper, not a chase after squirts.

4. A WOMAN WHO HAS GIVEN BIRTH IS TOO WIDE DOWN THERE

The vagina is very elastic, it can expand and contract. A woman can go back to tightness after giving birth, let us not make motherhood seem like a pleasure killer.

5. YOUR HUSBAND HATES YOUR STRETCHMARKS

Many women feel insecure about their stretchmarks because of their own insecurities or the judgement from other women. Most men don't even complain about stretchmarks, all they want is some good loving inside the wife. Lady, you are beautiful as you are. Relax!

6. SIZE IS EVERYTHING

The size of the penis is not everything, skill is. Regardless of the God-given size or shape of your penis; what your wife wants is that you be creative and skillfull with it as you confidently give her that good feeling.

7. EVERY SEXUAL EPISODE A COUPLE HAS MUST BE THE SAME

Last night's love making might have been so intense, today it might be calm and flat. Not every time it will be similar. Stop trying to recreate a memory, enjoy each episode and make it unique. Don't panic or think your marriage is under threat when the sex this week doesn't match last week's fireworks.

8. EVERY PERSON HAS THE SAME SEXUAL SPOTS

Don't copy paste what you hear about others. Not every woman has sensitive nipples, not every man loves their balls played with. Some ladies find their inner thighs ticklish, some men love their nipples pinched. Find out how your spouse wants it. Discover!

9. EVERY WOMAN CLIMAXES JUST ONCE

Some women can only climax once and some can climax over and over. Find out what kind of a woman she is

10. THOSE WHO MARRIED AS VIRGINS OR WITH LITTLE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE ARE BORING IN BED

You don't need training with many people to be great in bed; all you need is to emotionally connect and be willing to learn your spouse and to enjoy and give pleasure and your sex life will be amazing.

11. SEX IN AFFAIRS IS SWEETER THAN SEX IN MARRIAGE

Affairs are fun because they are new, passionate, they have a lot of investment in flirting and emotional bonding, and there is a build up of excitement. All those things you can bring into your marriage. You can have a steamy affair with your spouse.

12. A COUPLE THAT HAS HAD AN AVERAGE SEX LIFE CAN NEVER IMPROVE

Any couple that feels their sex life sucks can shake things up and bring fire into their love life. Are you willing to go on an adventure on each other's body?

13. EVERY MAN WAKES UP WITH A HARD ON

Not every man will wake up horny, so don't think he is not attracted to you just because he doesn't want some each morning. You can start him up though.

14. SPIRITUAL PEOPLE ARE PATHETIC IN BED

You can be spiritual and still be highly sexual. Sex was created by God. God is a romantic God. In fact, the more you grow as a believer, the more romantic and expressive you should become, understanding the beauty and power of sexual intimacy done as unto the Lord.

15. IF YOU LIKE MAKING LOVE AT NIGHT, YOUR SPOUSE WILL AUTOMATICALLY WANT THE SAME

Your spouse might enjoy making love a different time than you. Some people are night people, others are morning ones; the goal is to compromise and accommodate each other's preferences in the marriage to tend to each other's needs.

16. EVERY INFECTION IS BECAUSE OF INFIDELITY

Sometimes your infection as a woman is not brought about by your man giving you an STI, you could be having a UTI, or an infection brought about by your hygiene, toilet use, underwear not properly dried before wearing or internal body fluids. Don't be so quick to jump into conclusions.