18- POWERFUL TRUTH YOU SHOULD KNOW

1.Every girl is beautiful, it just takes the right guy to see it 

2.Sometimes creating a little distance will help people recognize how much you actually mean to them,

3.The best person in your life is the one who comes first in your mind after reading this sentence,

4.Master your emotions before they master you,

5.First it hurts you, then it changes you,

6.When someone helps you, & they’re struggling too ,that’s not help- that’s love,

7.You never stand still. You’re either getting better or getting worse 

8.The struggle you’re in today is developing your strength for tomorrow,

9.Don’t treat people as bad as they’re, treat them as good as you’re,

Life is “Change” , growth is optional,

10.Fake friends are your shadows nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour,

11.Everything will be worth it one day,

12.Some people hate you coz they’re failing at destroying you,

13.The best feeling in the world is being loved back by the person you love,

14.In order to stand up, you gotta know what falling down is like,

15.Never judge a situation that you’ve never been in,

16.Prove yourself to yourself, not others,

17.Obesity is now a bigger killer than malnutrition 

18.Your relationship with yourself is directly proportional to the amount of peace & happiness you feel ,

Thank you for reading  ❤️ 🙏

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VITAL NEEDS THAT MUST BE MET IN A RELATIONSHIP

1. Communication:

Effective communication is the bedrock of any successful relationship. It is the key that unlocks understanding, trust, and emotional intimacy between partners. Open and honest communication allows us to express our thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that fosters connection and understanding.

2. Emotional Needs:

Meeting emotional needs is crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship. By meeting each other’s emotional needs, we create a sense of security and trust within the relationship. It is important to validate our partner's emotions, offer a shoulder to lean on, and provide reassurance when they are facing difficulties.

3. Trust and loyalty:

Trust is the belief that our partner will act in our best interest and will remain faithful and loyal. It is vital to be reliable, honest, and transparent in our words and actions. Trust is built over time through consistent behavior and open communication.

4. Emotional Intimacy:

Emotional intimacy, involves sharing our deepest thoughts, fears, and dreams with our partner. By nurturing intimacy, we create a deep sense of connection and fulfillment within the relationship.

5. Respect:

This involves valuing our partner's opinions, boundaries, and autonomy. Respecting our partner means acknowledging their individuality and treating them with kindness, courtesy, and dignity. It is important to listen to their perspective, even if we disagree, and to avoid belittling or dismissing their thoughts and feelings.

6. Shared values and goals:

When partners have similar values and aspirations, they can work together towards a common vision. It is important to have open and honest discussions about our values, dreams, and goals to ensure alignment. By fostering shared values and goals, we create a sense of unity and teamwork within the relationship, enabling both partners to grow and thrive together.

WHY HUGGING IS IMPORTANT IN MARRIAGE

1. Hugging is a non-sexual physical expression of love. You need this because marriage is more than sex

2. Hugging makes your spouse feel welcomed to your space 

3. Hugging can lead to an emotional release where your spouse breaks down receiving comfort, a therapeutic experience

4. Hugging is a good way to receive each other back home after a day of being a part. Leaving the house and coming back home safe is a miracle you should never take for granted 

5. Hugging your spouse in public shows you are proud of your spouse 

6. Hugging your spouse affirms to your spouse you two are emotionally close. When there is an emotional rift between you two, you will find it difficult to hug

7. Hugging is a good way to resolve conflict after you two have talked things out

8. Hugging makes you both feel loved. There are some people in this world longing for a hug, don't let your spouse be one of them

9. Hugging breaks down the rigid walls created by trauma or by an upbringing that lacked affection 

10. Hugging in front of the children normalizes being vulnerable in the family. Children exposed to love grow up confident to express love.

THINGS TO KEEP PRIVATE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1. YOUR SPOUSE'S SEXUAL STRUGGLES

If your husband doesn't last long in bed or his penis loses erection quickly, if your wife has an unpleasant smell or she struggles to do some sex positions; don't expose him/her to your friends or someone who you are flirting with in bid to justify why you are flirting. The sexual struggles in your marriage should be kept a secret as you both feel safe seeking solutions together 

2. THE SWEETEST PART ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE 

If the sex in your marriage is incredible, don't go around sharing all the details; not because you are afraid your friends will want to steal your sexually amazing spouse, but because some things are best kept special by being kept secret just between you two. Others may know your spouse is great in bed, but they don't need to know the details of how great. Your love making is not for their entertainment 

3. YOUR SPOUSE'S SALARY

Be careful especially when sharing this information with your family members; they might want to take advantage of your spouse if he/she earns alot or look down on your spouse if he/she earns less or nothing at the moment. You two know how much you bring to the family basket and know your limit on how engaged you want to be in supporting your relatives 

4. WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR YOUR SPOUSE

Have you bought your spouse a car, have you given your spouse capital to start a business, have you paid your spouse's University education fees, have you bought your spouse an expensive gift or clothes?; don't go informing people about it. By doing good to your spouse, you did it for you because you two are one. If it came from your heart, you will not go bragging about it

5. YOUR SPOUSE'S PAST

If your spouse had a dark past; maybe your spouse made bad romantic choices in the past, procured an abortion, was sexually abused, was in a dishonourable profession;  it is not your place to disclose this to people.

DON'T LET YOUR SPOUSE COMPETE...

1. WITH YOUR PHONE

It is a lifeless gadget connecting you to people that are less important to you than your spouse. Yes, use your phone to do business, to connect and catch up with contacts but learn to frequently put it down and give your spouse full attention 

2. WITH YOUR EX

Your ex is your past, your spouse is your future. Stop frustrating your future with a door you should have closed

3. WITH YOUR WORK

It is good that you are working hard for your family but have a balance; lest you win at work and lose your family. Win both at work and at home

4. WITH YOUR PARENTS

You left your father and mother and became one with your spouse. Your parents had their marriage, now you have yours. Respect your parents but maintain boundaries. You are the bridge that fosters a good connection between your spouse and parents

5. WITH YOUR PAST ISSUES

Heal from your past, carry no unresolved issues forward to the point of harming your spouse. Don't punish your spouse for the pain others caused you

6. WITH YOUR CHILDREN

Be an amazing parent but also remain an amazing spouse. Don't let your children make you two drift apart. Deliberately make time away from the children. The children will soon grow and move out to form their lives and talk to you less, your spouse is the one to grow old with. Children are a fruit of your marriage, your marriage is not a fruit of your children

7. WITH YOUR PASTOR OR MENTOR

Don't listen to your pastor and mentor more than your spouse, don't let the voices of those meant to bless you override the one God has blessed you with. Honour the ones who pour into you whilst respecting the one you are building life with

8. WITH YOUR FRIENDS

Have a health social life but know that your spouse comes first. Don't join your friends in belittling your spouse. Have many moments where your spouse can see you choosing him/her over your friends and most likely your spouse will be comfortable you hanging around them

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR SPOUSE

WHY IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE COMPLIMENTS TO YOUR SPOUSE 

1. If you don't, your spouse might be tempted to receive compliments from another and that is how some affairs start. Don't create a vacuum

2. You are the one who knows your spouse best, you have more information to give substance to your compliments 

3. Your relationship was formed through compliments, your marriage will be sustained by compliments that make your spouse feel special 

4. To show your spouse you have not changed. You still are focused on him/her

5. To boost your spouse's self esteem. It is your role to make your spouse feel good about himself/herself

6. To show your spouse you are noticing what is good about him/her. Most times spouses only speak when they are pointing out negatives 

7. As you highlight what is good about your spouse, your spouse will be encouraged to keep possessing those good qualities. Compliments are motivators

8. As you speak of what is good about your spouse, you will appreciate your spouse more. You can't have a positive attitude towards someone who all you see is their wrong 

9. Compliments evoke smiles, lessens tension, creates the right mood and reduces arguments

10. Giving compliments will not make your spouse proud, but rather, make him/her feel valued

11. Compliments will inspire your spouse to keep looking good for you and seeking to impress you 

12. Giving compliments is a form of foreplay, it leads to deeper and richer intimacy 

© Dayan Masinde