7 Habits That Turn Boys into Men

Habit 1: Taking Responsibility

- Real men understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and decisions.

- This habit involves owning up to consequences, working to make amends, and facing challenges head-on.

- By taking responsibility, men build credibility and trust with others, fostering maturity and accountability.

Habit 2: Developing Self-Discipline

- Self-discipline is a cornerstone habit that men cultivate in all areas of life.

- They set clear goals, establish effective routines, and prioritize long-term benefits over short-term pleasures.

- By mastering self-discipline, men develop resilience, stay focused, and make consistent progress toward their aspirations.

Habit 3: Seeking Continuous Growth

- Men are committed to personal growth and lifelong learning.

- They actively seek new knowledge, skills, and experiences, embracing challenges and stepping out of their comfort zones.

- This habit includes reading, attending workshops, learning new hobbies, or seeking mentorship.

Habit 4: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

- Emotional intelligence is crucial for building strong relationships.

- Men develop self-awareness, regulate their emotions, and empathize with others.

- Effective communication and mature conflict resolution are key aspects of this habit.

Habit 5: Showing Respect

- Real men treat others with respect, regardless of background or status.

- They listen attentively, value different perspectives, and treat everyone with dignity.

- Showing respect involves recognizing the inherent worth of every individual.

Habit 6: Practicing Integrity

- Integrity involves upholding high moral and ethical standards.

- Men who practice integrity act with honesty, honor, and consistency in their personal and professional lives.

- This habit builds a reputation of reliability and respect.

Habit 7: Embracing Leadership

- Leadership is about taking initiative and inspiring others.

- Men who embrace leadership make decisions confidently, take responsibility for their outcomes, and motivate those around them.

- They lead by example, demonstrating the behaviors and attitudes they wish to see in others.

In summary, these seven habits are foundational for transforming boys into men. By cultivating these habits, men enhance their own lives and contribute positively to their surroundings, leading to personal and professional success...

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9 DANGEROUS SEX YOU MUST NEVER HAVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Sex is lawful in marriage, it’s one of the rights of married couples in the family. But I need to let you know that, there are some forms of sex you must never have in your family. They are: 9 SEX YOU MUST NEVER HAVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1.BROWN SEX: Sex is called brown if you have it with anyone that is not your spouse. It’s known as adultery, affairs or infidelity . It easily destroys marriage, avoid it. 

2.YELLOW SEX: This is the kind of sex that happens between a couple who always struggle to sleep together. They fight often fight about sex  and it has turn to a bone of contention in their marriage instead of being a tool of intimacy and love.

3.RED SEX: This a sexless marriage. Couples in it hardly make love because bitterness in marriage has taken over to the level of war.So, they hardly sleep together.

4. NECESSITY SEX: I met a couple recently, who have not been in talking term for Months but they still sleep together regularly because they need Children. They will just sleep together inside darkness, roll to the other side and sleep off but continue their fight the second day, this is a necessity Sex.

5. GRUDGE MATCH: This is the kind of sex where couple sleep together without love or affection, they do it without any affection or desire. They only have sex as a responsibility in marriage or to give peace a chance. This is very common among wives. 

6.BABY SEX: This is when couples sleep together only when they need sex. They believe sex is not for love or pleasure ,it should only happen when baby is needed, this is very wrong. Sex should bring couple together and should be done regularly and joyfully.

7.FRIDGE SEX: This is also known as “No Action sex”. This involves husband and wife sleeping together but cold or when a “Fridge” action is displayed by the wife. That is, she is never involve; only lie down like a log of wood.It’s a bad example of sex in Marriage .Wives should be involve when their husbands sleeps with them.

8.BARTER SEX: This involves “trade by barter” “Money for hands, back for ground”. In this kind of sex, the woman is fond of giving conditions before she will allow her husband to sleep with her, this is terrible. 

9.CALENDAR SEX: This involves picking a day in the week or Month when sex can only take place. Some women are fond of telling their husbands the day in the week or month they will be ready for sex. This is also wrong in Marriage.Sex should be spontaneous, it can happen any day and any time behind the four walls, that is how sex in Marriage should be...

WHEN THE GAME IS OVER.....WE SHALL ALL RETURN HOME.

WHEN THE GAME IS OVER....WE SHALL ALL RETURN HOME.

A boy was sent by his father to urgently buy him food from a restaurant. On his way going, he was in a hurry because of the urgency of the assignment.

However, on his way back, he passed where his mates were playing football. He slowed down, began to watch the game, gradually slowing down until he finally stopped. He watched for a while and got carried away, he became interested, and indicated his interest in playing, he was invited.

He left the food in the care of some unknown people and entered the field. He forgot the assignment completely and played his heart out. He became the man of the match, dribbled opponents, created chances, scored goals and changed the face of the entire game.

When night came, the owner of the ball picked it up. It was time for everyone to go home; to go back to their parents, the game was over!

It now dawned on the boy after everyone had left that he had actually been sent to buy food by his hungry father. He went to where he kept the food, it had already been eaten by goats and dogs, "but I kept this food with some guys here a moment ago." He said.

He picked the plates, but was no longer happy, all the excitement of the game disappeared, the people clapping for him were all gone, the opponents he was playing against were all gone, the ball itself was gone, time was gone, those selling food were gone, he couldn't buy another!

Regrets took over him, he sluggishly walked home, with tears of sorrow and regrets whilst hiding in the dark.

When people saw him, they asked him why he was crying and hiding in the dark with empty plates! He had left with clean plates full of excitement, but returned with same empty plates, so dirty and stained !

When they asked him "Why he couldn't go home, he said his father will beat him". He knew the implications of a wasted time. So sad, too late.

Hear this: We have a home and a Father to return to at the end of life's journey when all is said and done.

Don't be distracted, don't rejoice when people are clapping for you while doing the wrong things, they won't be there when you are to give an account.

Avoid Distractions, we are sent here for an assignment, the Father is waiting for us, this ball we are busy playing, when night comes, the owner will pick it, the crowd will disappear, we'll be left alone to go back and give a report to our Maker. What will you tell Him ?

Think about it.

The Prophet Mohammed and the argument of him being the "Comforter"

The Prophet Mohammed and the argument of him being the "Comforter"

"Fr Kelvin, I watched a video where a Muslim scholar was using some passages of John's gospel to justify that what we Christians consider as the Holy Spirit is actually the prophet Mohammed. Can you help clarify?"

My response:

Okay, I get that always especially working in a country dominated by Muslims. Let me give you a clue to answering them.

1. They will often start by quoting John 16:7 which says:

"Still, I am telling you the truth: it is for your own good that I am going, because unless I go, the Paraclete (comforter) will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you."

If they quote it and conclude that the comforter or Paraclete that Jesus was referring to is Mohammed, don't argue with them, just accept it for the sake of argument.

Then, gently underline this line in the verse for them:

 "But if I go, I WILL SEND HIM to you"

Respectfully tell them that by accepting that passage, they have agreed that Jesus was the one who sent Mohammed. So invariably, if Mohammed is a prophet of God, then it means Jesus is God because he needs to be God to be able to send a prophet.

2. They will also quote John 15:26 ignorantly:

 

"When the Paraclete (comforter) comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who issues from the Father, he will be my witness."

You can use the same argument as in point number 1. But let me simplify it more and add some flesh to it. Again, do not shout, just ask them the following questions calmly:

(a) From the passage, who is the comforter according to Islam?

(The answer is Mohammed)

(b) Ask them, from the passage, who is the one sending the Comforter 

Ans: if they are objective, they will answer Jesus.

(c) Then ask them, who is the one that sent Muhammad?

(Ans: Those who have seen your logic at this point will be silent. Those who have not, or have, but thought they are smart but yet to accept how ignorant they are will say Allah.)

(d) Quote this line of that verse for them and insist on it: "Whom I SHALL SEND to you from the Father". Who is sending the Comforter here?

(And: the sincere ones will answer Jesus)

(e) If they argue that the comforter is from the Father as indicated in the passage, ask them if their Allah is a Father.

Any true Muslim will keep quiet at this point because Allah in their teaching is not a Father to anyone. Muslims don't refer to God as a Father. 

3. Then if they quote John 14:16-17.

"I shall ask the Father, and he will give you another Paraclete to be with you for ever,

[17]the Spirit of truth whom the world can never accept since it neither sees nor knows him; but you know him, because he is with you, he is in you."

Use it as an opportunity to teach them the following:

 a.  Jesus was never referring to Mohammad, in fact, to even try to use the passages and claim it is referring to Mohammad is to show gross ignorance, deceit, and foolishness at the same time.

 b. Underline this line for them: "But you know him, because he is with you, he is in you." 

Ask them if Mohammed pre-existed... let them also tell you why Jesus will say that the disciples know him and he is with them since according to them, it is Mohammed that the passage is talking about.

Fr Kelvin

#PurestPurity

HOW TO FIRE UP YOUR SEX LIFE

1. Make sure your spouse never doubts your faithfulness. The number one impediment to a healthy sex life is the thought of infidelity 

2. Treat each other well when sex is not the agenda. A healthy sex life starts when you two are fully dressed, away from the bedroom

3. Do cheeky and naughty stuff together. Grab her butt when she least expects it, pass your hand on his penis, rub each other on the nipples without warning

4. Call it love making, don't call it having sex. That gives it a heart

5. Avoid pornography. That makes you focus on each other and not depend on sounds and images from strangers to arouse you. It also makes you both feel special and heightens pure pleasure

6. Flirt together throughout the day. Send each other naughty messages. Turn each other on

7. Work on your look. Invest in lingerie, change your dressing to avoid monotony, stimulate visually

8. Use suggestive postures. Dance for and on your spouse. Lap dance, twerk, kata kiuno. Give each other an exclusive show

9. Maintain hygiene. Cleanliness will make you both look forward to licking, touching and love making. Put on attractive scents

10. Have bedroom make overs. Switch up the look in your bedroom from time to time. Change your environment. Avoid monotony

11. Focus on romance and sensuality. Talk heart to heart, cuddle, please each other, listen, do sweet things. Don't make the goal be an orgasm, make the goal be to make each other feel loved

12. Take it outside the bedroom. Don't make love only in the bedroom, do it in other rooms, book a hotel room, take a vacation, create new experiences

13. Take your time. Don't rush through love making unless it's a quickie. Make it special

14. Know that tomorrow is another day. Don't put pressure on yourselves incase the orgasm today comes too quickly or doesn't come at all. Sex is not a goal to score, lovemaking is about intimacy

15. Make out more. Kiss, touch, stroke, nibble on the ear lobe and neck, gently blow on each other if that brings pleasure. Focus not just on what is between the legs

16. Don't talk about your sexual struggles and get stuck there. Act, no lamenting. Going on and on about how boring or little sex you are having discourages the mind and sex starts in the mind

17. Recap on how great the love making was. Talk about the sensations you made each other feel. This will boost your confidence and help you both know what things to keep on doing to give each other pleasure 

© Dayan Masinde 

In the love book called GOOD SEX BAD SEX, I reveal how to get the most out of intimacy and also show what happens when you abuse, misuse or use sex wrongly.

If you purchase the book and also wish to receive the SEX QUIZ FOR HUSBANDS and SEX QUIZ FOR WIVES. kindly text the word QUIZ together with your email address upon purchase.

____________________________

GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "GOOD SEX BAD SEX", WRITTEN BY DAYAN MASINDE

STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 300 to 0721590954

STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954

STEP 3: Receive the digital book in your email

STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

1. WORKING SO HARD AT YOUR JOB/BUSINESS BUT NOT IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Men, your company, your career, and your business are growing and flourishing because you lead them; your marriage will grow and flourish when you lead it and dedicate time to it.

2. THINKING THAT FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN IS NOT CHEATING

You may not physically sleep with other women, but emotionally cheating is also unfaithfulness. Receiving nude images and having phone intimacy with other women is also cheating. Talking suggestively and attracting temptations is also cheating. If you are a flirt, flirt with your wife. If you claim your wife is too rigid, treat her well, and she will respond to your kinky ways. She also wants intimate pleasure and to feel wanted.

3. BEING GENEROUS OUTSIDE AND STINGY AT HOME

Don't be the husband who quickly says yes when other people ask for help, for your time and your money, but stingy to your wife and child/children. Your family comes first. Don't go to harambees contributing large sums, helping out people because you want to have a good public image yet to your family you deprive and deny.

4. THINKING THAT SHOWING LOVE IS AN UNMANLY THING

When you were dating and courting, you were romantic and thoughtful; but now that you are married, you wrongly think showing love is beneath you. If you truly love your wife, tell her, she needs to hear it. Warm her heart. Romance her. Date your wife. Her being a wife doesn't mean she doesn't need to feel loved. Real men show their love. God is a loving God. If God doesn't find showing love as something beneath Him, who are you to shun showing affection yet you are created in the image of God?

5. THROWING MONEY AND GIFTS AT PROBLEMS

When your wife and kids get concerned about you spending much time away from home, when you are told you are not doing what you are supposed to; change, improve. Don't throw money and gifts at them to silence them. They want your time and presence, not lifeless things.

6. ADMIRING OTHER WOMEN MORE THAN YOUR WIFE

If you find other women better looking than your wife, work on your wife. Nourish her with compliments, buy her clothes you think she'd look good in, take her shopping, pamper her, love her up till she glows. Go to the gym with her. Jog with her.

7. WASTING YOUR FAMILY MONEY ON MEANINGLESS THINGS

Stop wasting your family money on alcohol, drugs, prostitutes, strippers, and addictions. Invest that money in your family, the future of your child/children. Even if you are a super wealthy man, you can find other ways to have fun that contributes positively to your family life. You can channel your money into more honorable things like supporting your parents, your siblings, the less fortunate, and the needs of society. You don't have to be unfaithful and reckless just because you have lots of money.

8. JUSTIFYING PORNOGRAPHY

Pornography is lusting after other women on videos and images. This is actually cheating because you are desiring other women, not your wife. This also lays the ground for future acts of unfaithfulness. Because you see no harm in desiring strange women on videos and pictures, soon you will see no harm in desiring women in the streets, at work, in your neighborhood; then you might actually sleep with another woman.

9. THINKING THAT BEING THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY MEANS BEING A DICTATOR

This is what makes some husbands beat up their wives, abuse them, sit on them, and hinder their progress. Your wife is not your junior but your partner, she is one with you. Hurting her is hurting you. She is not your competitor, celebrate her progress. Being head doesn't mean your word is law or that you treat your wife as a slave. In fact, because you are the head you should serve more, give more and humble yourself to make sure your wife and child/children are doing well.

10. IGNORING YOUR WIFE'S ADVICE

Don't hide things from your wife. Engage her in making family decisions, you are stronger when you move as a team. Your wife has sharp instincts and she will help you navigate through life's issues.

11. BEING TOO PROUD TO SAY SORRY OR TO LISTEN

You are capable of doing wrong, and when you do wrong, admit it. Problems don't get solved when you deny them. You are not perfect. Learn to say sorry to your wife and child/children. By refusing to say sorry, you are showing your wife you are insensitive and that will hurt her and damage the mood at home. Sometimes all a woman needs is for you to say, "I am sorry." Be open to learning and being corrected. Far too many men are ruining their homes because of pride.

12. ABANDONING YOUR SPIRITUAL ROLE

You are to lead your family, even spiritually. Don't neglect this role and leave it for your wife alone. Your wife needs your prayers, she needs you to walk with her in God. Your child/children need to see you living for God, praying, and teaching them about God. You say you want a Godly household, well, be an actively Godly husband and father.

13. TAKING YOUR JOB TITLE HOME

Whether you are a C.E.O, Manager, Director, or an award-winning professional, once you get home or are with your wife and family, put away your title. Play your role as husband and father. Don't treat your wife and children like subordinates, lording over them. The home is a place of love, not a place for orders, restrictions, pressure, and intimidation.

14. HIDING YOUR FAILURES

In case things don't go well, you get fired, you get retrenched, or you make a bad decision; share it with your wife, don't hide it trying to project a fake image of 'everything is alright'. Your wife is there for you, she will walk with you. Share with her your weaknesses and failures. Love will always win.

15. WORRYING MORE ABOUT WHAT YOUR MALE FRIENDS OR PARENTS THINK THAN PLEASING YOUR FAMILY

Don't let your friends or parents run your marriage. Don't let your friends negatively influence you by mocking you that you are being sat on by your wife or wrongly advise you to be tough on your wife just to prove you are man enough. A true friend is a friend to your marriage. Your parents might mean well but might drive a wedge between you and your wife. You left your father and mother to be one with your wife. Defend your home.

16. BEING INTIMATELY SELFISH

Your wife has intimate needs too. Don't just seek your own gratification and then sleep or leave her unsatisfied. Fulfill her physically. Kiss her, touch her, embrace her, massage her, stimulate her, explore her body, evoke her passion, make her tremble, give her every sensual pleasure. She is devoted to you, and no other can fulfill this role like you can. Make sure she's fulfilled, and she'll reciprocate. Your responsibility is to arouse her and satisfy her intimately. A passionately engaged wife is a content wife and fosters a harmonious home. Make love to her.

17. LETTING HER BE THE PARENT ALONE

When she gets pregnant, don't abandon her. Walk with her as she carries your child. After birth, be proactive in teaching, mentoring, and guiding your child/children. Stop the nonsense of when the child does wrong, the child is your wife's; when the child does well, you are a proud father.

18. FAILING TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN FOR YOUR SUCCESSION

When you start a business, involve your child/children. Let your wife know of your properties, assets, and ventures. Prepare your children's future. Write a will. Share information, don't keep things in the dark. Too much unnecessary confusion plagues families because of lack of preparation in your marriage.

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