Women need most attention

I just want to drop this advise to my fellow men! In marriage women are the people that need the most attention from their husbands. when a man neglects his wife, he ruins his marriage.

A lonely woman is a big prey. A lot of marriages these days crash because of this. It happened in my marriage and I drove my wife to have an affair outside. I was very young then, told her all sorts of hurtful things, that I can marry as many as I want, thou was using those to scare her and I was very domineering back then. Before I could get back to my senses, she was deep in it and I had to fight to get back my jewel, I apologized to her and forgave myself as well. A lot of women who are cheating today never planned to cheat in their respective marriages, but their husbands life style and negligence drove them to it. All a woman wants is your attention, care and see her jumping mountains to keep you in check.

The reason God made marriage is for a man and woman to be each other companion and shelter, for a man and woman to be there for each other, not for one person to be outside by 10pm and one inside waiting endlessly for the other to return. There should be no secret in marriage at all. Lay all cards on the table. When one person starts hiding stuff, the loop holes in marriages are gradually pilling up and it's hitting a rock. A man who is outside by 11pm, how does he want his wife to feel? At that Time for couples are cuddling times not torch lighting time waiting for car horns and the rest.

Some men who complain their woman nags, did she nag during courtship? if she was a nagger during that time, you won't have married her. You pushed her to nagging with your promiscuous behavior. You call what she does nagging, but no she is not nagging, she is trying to pass an information across to you. Women are not our slaves . Stop treating them like you purchased them. No they are not. They are human being, same with you. Treat them with respect .

The moment a woman who you are married to doesn't care what you do and where you go, that is the minute you marriage is dead gone and you don't know it. Sometimes when I see young able bodied men,newly wedded seated at the bar, say they will replace their wives as if she is some piece of rag, I ponder and ask, the one you will replace her with, is she better than the one you got married to ? . You never treated the one you first got married to right, and want to let in another ?

A responsible woman can be pushed to have an affair, yes that is very possible. Let's not hide under the notion of a virtuous woman doesn't cheat no matter the storm she faces in her marriage, that is double faced lies. When a woman demand for attention and care and she doesn't get, when she gets to her saturation point, the heavens too won't judge her. Every human being on earth has a saturation point. Let's not beat women to a box, asking them to remain faithful when we men are not doing anything possible to keep them sane in our marriages. The rate of cheating amongst women is alarming these days . We men is our turn to fight to keep our wives whole and give them the attention they crave for. If you know you are not doing what you are supposed to do as a man,go back to the drawing board.

This message is not to justify women cheating but to correct impressions of some men who think it's just the role of a woman who lacks attention to remain faithful in her marriage. If you don't water your plants and weed your farm, another farmer(man) will weed them in a way you won't like, some negative farmers will not only weed but they will collect the entire land, re construct it for their own benefit and even build on it, there by giving you children that aren't yours.

So, men should learn to be a good farmers in their marriage. If you offend your wife, don't wait for her to apologize on your behalf, a lot of men will offend their wives and still expect the woman to apologize, making her a fool. That is so wrong. When you are wrong admit it and apologize immediately. Don't do a lip service, let her see you are truly sorry, women are no fools, they know when a man is apologizing from his heart of hearts. God bless us all."

So long to know pertinent issues about your partner

Don't wait till you have gone too far in a Relationship before you start seeking to know pertinent issues and things about your partner

"she will say it is too early"

"He will say I am desperate"

Any body who says these things when you begin asking pertinent questions early in a relationship has skeletons in their cupboard.

2 months of Relationship is long enough for you to ask your partner to define what submission means to him or her..

It is a sign of missed priorities and wrongly done courtship for you to begin to discover irreconcilable differences between you and your partner 2 weeks to your traditional wedding, a month to your white wedding that you could have found our early enough simply because you didn't ask questions and watch well.

What does submission mean to him?

What are his/her expectations of you after marriage?

Their view on cheating?

Will you stop wearing trousers?

Will you stop applying makeup?

Will she accept to stop dressing as she is doing now?

What happens if there's prolonged delay in child birth?

Will he demand for your salary tomorrow?

Joint account or seperate accounts?

House Chores?

Who pays the bills?

Their genotype?

How many kids?

Family planning?

Oral sex/Anal sex?

Ask them these questions with style and indirectly..

Find a way to get them to reveal their opinions on these issues without them even realizing it....

Ask them questions in unguarded moments.

Bring up real live situations and stylishly ask for their opinions and judgement, then sit back and listen to what you are about to marry.

If possible, you can even find out these things before you enter the Relationship.

By Musa Gift

Wife be as romantic as your side chick

How can your wife be as romantic as your side chick when you have impregnated her 5 times, sent her to labour 5 times, antenatal, postnatal and breastfeeding for many years, childcare and upbringing till each baby turns 20, school runs every morning and evening, kitchen to cook for you and your 5 kids, in the hospital for many days just to look after your kids when they fall ill, house chores and groceries are still to be taken care of by her. You the husband has caused her many cuts down her "V", cuts as a result of CS, what about sagged breast and stomach stretch marks you caused her, pimples and big nose you caused her during pregnancy, what about vomiting and loss of appetite, you have totally withdrawn your wife from the society because of the African culture and yet you don't want to value and respect her, yet the only thing you remember is that she is not romantic but your side chick is. Put that your side chick to this life threatening adventure and see if she can cope. Please dear men, learn to appreciate your wife, life is not all about sex and romance, remember how she was before you married her and remember that you are the cause of her woes.

God bless every hardworking mother and wife.

15 STUPID THINGS A WIFE CAN DO TO MESS UP HER MARRIAGE…

1) DARING YOUR HUSBAND TO BEAT YOU:

You block the door way, then dare him to beat you up and see what will happen. A Lot of women have done this and end up regretting.

2) DARING YOUR HUSBAND TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN:

You will be making a major mistake if you dare your husband to sleep with another woman. You may live to regret it.

3) NEGLECTING YOUR BODY AND LOOKS BECAUSE YOU ARE MARRIED:

“I am married i can relax, after all who is looking at me.?” He married you Slim, sexy and trendy. Next thing you become obsessed, dirty and shabbily dressed.

It is the mistake of most careless married women.

4) DENYING YOUR HUSBAND SEX REGULARLY:

You are a career woman; You are an overly religious woman… Hmmm! You feel sex in marriage is secondary, you deny your husband your body regularly, so he is sexually starved and intimacy famished. His Secretary, colleagues and girls in church are seducing and begging him to come to them but you have padlocked your Jerusalem and expect him not to lust after others. His mind will drift from you towards them.

5) LEAVING YOUR HUSBAND FOR YOUR FEMALE FRIEND TO CATER FOR:

“My dear friend, please be my eye as I travel for this one week, help cater for my husband and my little kids”. By the time you are back, your dear friend has so really helped you by sleeping with your husband and expecting a new baby as continuation from where you stopped.

If at all she has not eloped with your man, leaving your children all alone.

It is very stupid to commit your husband into the hands of your beautiful and very active friend.

6) LEAVING YOUR HUSBAND IN THE HANDS OF YOUR HOUSE MAID:

Your maid is the one that cooks,cleans the house, cares for the children and your husband. You suddenly become a lazy bone since the arrival of the maid. All you do is shout and place orders. Not bad! But if your husband feels more love and care from the maid, sister that maid won’t struggle to snatch your husband. You are the one graciously giving him to her and those that need him.

7) EMPLOYING A FULLY GROWN, RED BLOODED LADY AS A MAID:

She is fully grown up and well endowed back and front very tantalizing. She dresses skimpily and sexily like an actress, cat walks like a model and that is your own house maid?

What a mistake!

EMPLOYING A HOUSE GIRL THAT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU:

Employing a house girl more beautiful than you is a major technical mistake most women make. This means you are using your money to employ a rival for yourself. Don’t be foolish when getting a maid. They act dumb like maids to you for the time being but when your husband starts sleeping with them, you will be shocked they are more agile than you when they start fighting you.

9) USING ANALOG BRAIN TO LIVE WITH A DIGITAL HUSBAND:

Your husband is growing with ideas and all; you contribute nothing than sitting down at home to eat. He is dressing like a guy with jeans and face cap; you are celebrating the fact that you are a married woman to a Yuppy cute man. Your husband is on *Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, Skype etc;* the only thing you know about mobile phone is receiving and making calls. Your husband is talking about stock market; you only talk about tomato market. He’s talking about Forex; you are talking about fruit and vegetables only. He will see you so backwards, local and dumb. Upgrade please!

10) FAILING TO COMMIT YOUR FAMILY INTO THE HANDS OF GOD:

A wife won’t do well if she fails to commit her family into the hands of God regularly. Don’t make such mistakes of thinking you are in charge of your husband and marriage and you can handle things. Be prayerful, hand over your family to God daily. May you never labour in vain and another reaps where you have sown!

11) FIGHTING YOUR MOTHER IN-LAW CARELESSLY:

You may fight your Mother in-law dirty and think you have won especially if she’s innocent, you will end up losing. Her son and herself have been friends and lovers for years before you came; may be before you were born. She was the first ‘wife’ of your husband and also the first ‘girlfriend’. Her son cannot divorce her and she is more experienced than you in matrimonial battles, in fact she is a veteran of many conflicts. Yes i know that a wife becomes a priority and number one and some men try to place their mums above their wives . That is stupid and sickening! Apply wisdom and talk to God and your husband about it. But don’t come in with the intention to separate mother and son. Respect a worthy mother in-law. Not all of them are wicked. Not all are witches. You meet a wicked one, apply wisdom and avoid her ways.

12) TELLING YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE:

When you tell your friends about your sex life and how your husband rocks you, you are indirectly telling them to go have a feel of him. They can size you up and know whether your husband is hot or not, whether he is sexually fulfilled or not. They may even know your Husband’s “turn on” and use it against him then grab your husband. Most women have carelessly lost their husbands as they boast to their friends “my husband is too sexually demanding, he is an expert when it comes to sex, he is a horse, he almost kills me in bed, he has a horse size” etc… Your friends will pick information like this and cover things up where you have been failing.

13) REPORTING YOUR HUSBAND TO HIS MUM:

It looks beautiful to report your husband to his Mum, but the end result will hurt you. Most mothers will support their sons any day; children are always right before their Mothers. Seek counsel in the right quarters, never report your husband to his Mum unless his mum is so god fearing, honest and impartial.

14) LETTING CHILDREN TAKE THE PLACE OF YOUR HUSBAND:

Many wives abandon their husbands, denying them of love, care and attention as soon as babies begin to arrive they transfer all affection to their kids. To sleep in bed, they put the Baby in between themselves making the man feel lost and the bond divided. No warm hugs, caress etc.

15) USING SEX WRONGLY:

Sex is supposed to bind you both together, it is supposed to create intimacy and love but in many homes it is the bone of contention. Some women do turn sex to a tool of manipulation;

Some use it for trade by barter. *Some wives will suddenly become commanders at home when their husbands touch them for sex, ordering the man around, “go and off the Fan” “go and lock the gate” “go and check whether our children are sleeping” “How about that money I asked you to give me?” Etc…*

This is just too bad.

Some wives sleep like log of wood in bed while some even wear Jean, knickers to bed.

Nothing sexy

Nothing erotic

Nothing romantic

Nothing Inviting!

If you continue like this you will hurt your marriage deeply and you may destroy your future also. He will start lusting and chasing sexy daughters of Jezebel out there who may fetish him out of home to themselves

A smart wife builds her home, the stupid ones are careless. I know you will be like…. Why can’t he have self control and stay faithful?

Forget it dear.

We are all humans and things push us to do things we never planned.

Be wise!!!

BEING A LIVING SACRIFICE IN MARRIAGE

One of the best place to becoming a living sacrifice is in marriage: for there are lot of sacrifices to be made in marriage by both of you, as husband and wife. However, this act (of being a living sacrifice) should neither be taking for granted nor forced upon either of you, as a partner to the other: because taking for granted the sacrifice of your spouse or forcing your partner (directly or indirectly) to become a living-sacrificial object may lead to any physical, spiritual, emotional and psychological detriment, including divorce. But, rather, both of you should be willing to offer youself- out of love and a pure heart. Learn from this...

Matthew 20:28

"Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

Hence, as husband (wife), you ought to serve your wife (husband) in love.

BEWARE OF FRIENDLY ENEMIES

WORDS ON THE MARBEL

*Be* careful so you don't *hate* a *lovely* *person* , because of a *dirty rumour* you heard about them which was created out of *jealousy* and *envy* .

*Try* to *appreciate* those who *gossip* about *you* . It's not easy for *someone* to *leave* their *problems* and *carry* yours on their *head* .

*Forgive* _betrayals_ but be *careful* with *them* ,because next time they may not *spare* your *life* . May *God* _expose_ all *pretenders* around *you* .

*Even* if you kill *yourself* for some *people* , they will still *complain* that you didn't *die* in a *proper* way. Do your *best* and *leave* the *rest* , you can't *satisfy* _human being_ .

*If* you are always *worried* about what *others* are saying about *you* , you will *never* be *happy*.

*A* _jealous friend_ is a *dangerous* _enemy_ .

*When* your _blessings_ are getting *closer* , your *attacks* become *greater* . Don't look at the *storm* , *God* is by your *side* , you will _win_ by *God's grace*

Everybody can not *love* you, don't *lose* your *peace* over those who *hate* you.

Those who *convinced* people to hate you can not *convince God* to *hate* you. _God is with you