5 QUALITIES TO LOOK OUT FOR IN A POTENTIAL PARTNER

We all have ideas, specs and ideals about the kind of person we will like to marry. There's nothing wrong with that. 

I myself there was a point in my life that I wrote down about twelve qualities I want to see in my Rose 🌹. 

I have heard some guys say they will like to marry a woman that is a virgin, beautiful, fair, heavily endowed front and back, submissive, hardworking, well mannered etc.

I have also heard some ladies say that they will like to marry a man that's God fearing, rich, caring, handsome etc.

Whatever may be the specs, I believe there are some qualities that are basic and fundamental and these are the things you should look out for first in your potential partner. These qualities are like foundation you should build any other thing on.

They are listed below...

 1. Godliness

When I say godliness, I don't mean a lady not wearing jewelry, makeup, fixing attachments, wearing trouser, rubbing powder or a guy not wearing Jean trouser or keeping beards, I mean is the person a child of God? Is he or she truly born again and a committed member of a fellowship?

The Bible says godliness is profitable in all things. When one is godly, he can't cheat on you, lie and deceive you. The person will draw you closer to your Maker. 

 2. Love

Don't make a mistake of marrying someone you don't love or someone who doesn't love you too. When there's love a lot of things are obtainable and you can find some of them in Corinthians 13:4~8.

When you marry someone that doesn't love you, the person will be tired of you, you won't be valued and appreciated, you will be taken for granted. There's nothing you do that will seem right. Don't make this mistake.

 3. Direction

Does the person knows what he wants to do with his life? Does he have a direction for his life? What is he pursuing presently? What is his or her vision, ambition and purpose in life?

Don't marry a confused person or someone that doesn't know where he's going in life, you will end up no where and you will be frustrated in life.

 4.  Character

Character is one of the critical things that makes or mars a marriage. If he's rich or beautiful without a good character, he's nothing. Beauty is vain and riches are fleeting. 

What is the person's character like? Manipulative? Deceptive? Womanizer? Manizer? Alcoholic? Fraudulent? Etc. Check the person's character. If you marry someone with bad character, you will regret.

 5. Hardworking

You see, in this life, man must wack. I cannot come and go and kill myself by myself. I must flex o. Don't marry someone that's lazy, hunger go finish your life. Love doesn't pay bills, school fees, take you on vacation, pay house rent nor does it put food on the table, na money dey do am. Money is a major stakeholder in marriage. However, don't marry that doesn't love shey you get? 

Guys, don't marry a lady that all she knows how to do is to fix nails, eyelashes, wear latest fashions, use latest gadgets as a result of jumping from one guy to another one and carry about makeup kits but doesn't know how to make money. Marry a supportive woman. 

Ladies, don't marry a lazy man, see you see hunger, anger and frustration. You go dey see double. Don't marry a guy that knows how to complain about virtually everything, how there's no job anywhere yet people are getting jobs daily. Don't marry a guy sleeps in a gambling houses, casino, niajabet, nairabet, baba ijebu etc., he will gamble with your life.

Do you see a man that's hardworking, diligent, he will be great in life. Marry a hustling guy. 

Let me stop here, all things being equal, with these 5 basic and fundamental qualities, godliness, love, direction, character, hardworking, in a potential partner, you are go to go.

Follow Relationship Counseling & Reviews & Obilero Godgift Yemison for more tips.

LADY, CHERISH THIS KIND OF MAN:

1. Cherish the man who loves his mum. He has been brought up well

2. Cherish the man who loves to read, and not just for exams. He is wise and deep

3. Cherish the man who is funny. You will never be bored

4. Cherish the man who treats strangers and the less privileged with dignity. He has a kind heart

5. Cherish the man who listens. You will be understood

6. Cherish the man whose idea of fun is constructive, not endless drinking and clubbing. He is mature

7. Cherish the man who is a family man ready for responsibility and clear about what he wants with you. Your time will not be wasted 

8. Cherish the man who respects his father no matter how his dad is. He has learned true manhood

9. Cherish the man who doesn't insult his ex or your ex even if the break up was messy. He is someone who enters into love for the right reasons

10. Cherish the man who needs you. He will hold on to you

11. Cherish the man who lets you love him, who lets you see the nakedness of his weaknesses and strengths. He trusts you 

12. Cherish the man who accepts correction and changes his ways if he offends you. He will make himself better to love you

13. Cherish the man who prays for you. He knows you are a gift from God

14. Cherish the man who treats other women with respect. He will show you even more respect

15. Cherish the man who loves the children you and also is a father figure to those not his. That man will have an honourable legacy 

16. Cherish the man with a vision. He will challenge and build you, he knows where he is going

17. Cherish the man who has a good set of friends.You can tell the character of a man by the friends he keeps

18. Cherish the man who values intimacy above sex. He will be faithful to you

19. Cherish the man who is interested in your dreams. He cares about your future

20. Cherish the man who respects your decisions and doesn't rush you. He sees you as a life partner, not someone to dominate

FIRST TIME VISITING YOUR INLAWS?

1) Research about Them.

Know what to expect,

Ask your partner about their culture, how they greet over there, don't go and say "Hi, good Afternoon Everybody" when they expect you to probably kneel to greet. 

You could learn how to greet in their language too (if you are from a different tribe), your in-laws will be happy to know you are trying to learn their ways. 

Reseach about the people you'll be meeting, so you don't say things that may embarrass or offend anyone, like if her elder brother lost his wife, don't go and ask him "how's your wife", that you weren't aware will not be an excuse, they may instantly dislike you.  

Don't go to your in-laws place for the first time unprepared.

First Impression goes a Long way. 

2) Dress Well

As a Lady, don't dress like you want to seduce all the Men in his family, even if short skirts is your trade, try and dress well that day,

Dress decently, don't be going to visit a Mother-in-law to be who believes deeply in decent dressing and then dress exposing your cleavages and laps, before you hear "My Son, let me have a word with you inside" 

As a young Man, dress responsibly, don't dress  like a gateman to see your in-laws, don't wear rumpled clothes, or wear shoes that look like what a tailor made..

You will be ADDRESSED the way you DRESS 

3) Try not to go without a Gift

Don't go empty handed, it may sound cliche, but don't ignore it. 

Your gift should be tailor made to suit them, don't just buy any gift you like, the father or mother may have allergies, dislikes, so ask your spouse what best to buy for their parents,

Don't buy for instance, alcoholic wine to a pentecostal Christian Family as gift, you would have failed exam even before you got the question papers that way.

If their father or mother were a writer, a leather jotter or notepad will be a perfect gift.

Please don't be cheap, don't buy bread by the road side to present to your in-laws,. We are in the 21st century, be creative 

4) Avoid excessive display of physical Intimacy.

Don't go and visit your in-laws and be groping or touching their son or daughter all over in their presence, Avoid too much emotional and physical display of affection

It'll make the meeting awkward

Sit down where you were asked to and respect yourself.

They know you love each other, Keep your hands in your pocket and don't let the devil use you.

Don't give the impression you both have been having sex. They'd wonder if you are the right person for their child morally speaking, and You would attract unnecessary suspicion and questions that way. 

5) Avoid pressing your Phone excessively. 

It can come out as disrespectful

Especially those of you that are addicted to pressing phone, you didn't leave your house to your in-laws just to Facebook and press phone.

You came for business. Focus.

Switch off the phone or ignore it and focus on making a good impression and befriending your prospective in-laws.

Your father in law to be should not be calling your name and you are obviously lost, scrolling and commenting on Facebook.. 

6) Interact 

You are there to make friends.

Talk, don't keep to yourself.

Laugh, ask questions, answer questions, interact lovingly, compliment the food, compliment their home, compliment their looks, compliment things worthy of compliment, smile, communicate and have Fun

Don't go there and be looking like someone that is lost, as if you left your brain and tongue at home.

Leave a good impression on their hearts and they'll look forward to your next visit. 

7) Don't forget table Manners

We know you like food, but that's not the reason you came, don't eat and be asking for extra 2 plates, and take away, there'll be subsequent visits for you to do that, don't eat and be dropping soup everywhere, don't talk with your mouth full, when you are not Shrek. 

Behave when you are offered food...

Don't forget your home training and embarrass yourself, they are watching you.

You came for Introduction, not to Eat. 

😎 Don't Pick a Fight

Don't go there and make trouble, even if your profile on Facebook reads "never to shy to look for trouble"

Be a preacher of love at your in-laws place, if anyone intentionally says any thing uncouth at you, smile and act as If you didn't hear it, don't reply in like manner, 

If anything is said or done that displeases you, keep quiet, you can take it out on or rather sort it out with your partner later when you leave.

Don't go to your in-laws place and pick a fight with his mother of her father. It can end a Relationship. 

9) Be Respectful/Offer to Help

Be respectful, don't go there and act as if everybody is your mate.

Greet those who are elder to you

 

If there's work to be done, offer to help, it's not eye service, it's what you'll do if you were at you own parent's place.

If you see his Mom or her Dad doing something you can and know how to do, offer to assist, don't raise your legs for his Mum or her Mum to sweep the floor., It's not done

10) Don't try too hard to please them

Be yourself.

No lies, you don't have to agree with everything you see and hear before they'll like you, respectfully opine your views,.

You are a Chelsea fan, and his Dad is a Man U fan, you don't have to become a Man U fan just to impress him. Argue lovingly and respectfully, you will still earn his respect.

Don't become a "Yes Sir, Yes Ma" person, talk with your convictions and beliefs but respectfully, and don't argue with your in-laws, because some of you are journalists, know when to let an issue drop.

11) Most Importantly, Pray before going. Some in laws can be difficult, pray and commit your visit into the hand of God, so you'll find favor in their eyes even when they initially were set to dislike you....

.

.

. In the end, no matter how the first visit goes, do not lose hope. Opportunities to make good second impressions will always abound should you miss it the first time.

Follow #bigglesworth

BOTH MEN AND WOMEN NEED THE SAME THING FROM EACH OTHER

1. Both of them need respect. Yes gentlemen,  respect is not for the man alone 

2. Both of them need great sex. Yes gentlemen, sex is not all about your pleasure alone. Your wife too has sexual needs 

3. Both of them need security. Yes ladies, as the man plays his part to make you secure, marrying you and affirming you; he needs you to affirm him too.  He needs to know that you are on his side, don't seem unsure 

4. Both of them need appreciation. Yes ladies, as you desire your man to recognise and compliment what you do, big and small; he too feels good when you appreciate all that he does instead of treating him with an attitude of "Well that is what you are meant to do as a man"

5. Both of them need love. Many men try and act macho and say they don't need love, what they want is respect but actually they are scared of losing the love of their woman.  Truth is, a woman can show a man respect because of his title as a man but despise him in her heart, but a woman cannot love a man and not respect him

6. Both of them need to be understood. There is nothing that hurts as being judged or wrongfully accused or concluded upon by the one you are with 

7. Both of them need faithfulness. Gentlemen, you wouldn't want your wife to cheat on you or to take in another man as her second or third husband so why do the same to her? Ladies, you wouldn't want your man emotionally getting involved with another woman so why are you doing it with another man? 

8. Both of them need to be told "I love you" Both the man and the woman starts to notice when "I love you" is no longer said, they silently begin to doubt if they are still loved. Love must not only be done, it must also be said 

9. Both of them need to be checked up on. Ladies, it is unfair for you to always seat pretty waiting for the man to call, text or ask how you are, he needs that care too.  Be there for him. Show effort as he does the same. Many men are silently hurting and feeling alone yet they are in a relationship/married

10. Both of them don't want to be abused. No one, man or woman wants to feel physically or emotionally threatened. Do not hit, slap, throw things at, insult, mock or mimic your partner. Don't make your partner feel unsafe

11. Both of them want to be apologized to. Gentlemen, swallow your pride and ego and say sorry when she feels you have wronged her. Don't cover it up or justify it because you would lose your cool if she was to hurt you and show no remorse. Ladies, stop acting like it is always the man at fault and you are always right

12. Both of them want a partner who cares about their dreams. There is nothing that hurts as spending all your life with someone who doesn't care about what you care about. Gentlemen, find out your woman's personal vision and support her. Ladies, don't make your man feel like you want him to stop all he is passionate about just to make you happy 

13. Both of them need companionship. Forever is a very long time to spend with someone you can't have a good conversation with. Don't make your partner struggle to talk to you 

14. Both of them need trust. The relationship/marriage will go no where if you two are not trustworthy and don't trust each other 

It has never been a gender thing. Love is not a place to only think about yourself but a place to be selfless, to treat your partner how you want your partner to treat you. What you are doing to your partner you are actually doing to yourself 

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

HOW TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE BED WARM

1. Kiss and make out with your spouse often

2. Go to bed at the same time as much as possible, not one finding the other asleep

3. Stay faithful to your spouse

4. Have pillow talks. Intimate conversations before sleeping

5. Don't argue. Always ask yourself "Are you speaking to your spouse with a smile?"

6. Put away the phone in bed. No Facebook, WhatsApp, news or business when it's intimate time

7. Praise each other's body, character and achievements in bed

8. Sleep naked if you can. If it's too cold, wear something attractive

9. Play love songs or worship music in the bedroom to set the mood for warmth

10. Make love as often as you can. Sweat

11. Take time to pray. Take turns. Today it's his turn, tomorrow hers

12. Cuddle up. Stroke each other's skin

13. Get playful and naughty. Spank, tease, gently pinch, flirt, dance, rub your butt on him, poke her butt with your penis

14. Share the same blanket/duvet

15. Sleep holding each other. Cuddling. His hand between her breasts

16. Brush your teeth. Fresh breath makes closeness easier

17. Dim the lights

18. Talk with breaks of kisses. Whisper

19. Wish each other a good night

20. Greet each other with a good morning kiss

Follow Obilero Godgift Yemison for more tips!

#marriedlife #marriagegoals #marriageadvice #marriage #RelationshipAdvice #relationshipgoals #relationshipmemes

WHY MEN ARE CALLED "GROOM”, AND THE WOMAN “THE BRIDE” ON WEDDING DAY?.

Why is the newly wedded man called GROOM and the woman called BRIDE? A friend of mine got tired of his WIFE just about six months after wedding.

He complained bitterly to me about her and told me that he has concluded to break up with her; he went on to say that he was sure that he made a mistake. I did not respond immediately because I knew I must tell him that right thing, so I went home. And that is what birth this message.

Many MEN have broken up with their WIVES because they end up not being the WIVES that they have dreamt of. But they have forgotten that on their wedding day was when the man was commissioned for the new task.

Nobody calls the woman WIFE on her wedding day but BRIDE, because it is the man that will GROOM his BRIDE to become the WIFE. That is why the man is called ‘BRIDEGROOM or GROOM’ and the word grooming has to do with PATIENTLY NURTURING, TEACHING, TENDING and HELPING someone to become what he or she should be.

It is therefore believed that a MAN that takes a WOMAN to the ALTAR of MARRIAGE is mature enough to patiently GROOM his BRIDE to become the WIFE. The man is not supposed to just expect the BRIDE to automatically become the WIFE, she must be GROOMED. 

It is clear that many of our men have unnecessary expectations when they were getting married, they want some magic to happen to their wives, they want the wives to become what they have had in mind about who they want their wives to be; not considering the fact that the woman does not know what is on your mind except you teach her.

MEN  expectations are often too unrealistic, because they do not remember that change takes TIME and they can only expect something from someone that knows what they want.

So before you think of breaking up, have you GROOMED her? Have you given her TIME to understand you? Hope you realize that a turtle will never become a hawk? GOD often brings People that are opposites of each other together in MARRIAGE so that they can HELP EACH OTHER in their place of weaknesses. If your WIFE is weak where you are weak, then where will you get the strength that is needed? THE PROBLEM WITH MANY OF US IS THAT WE DO NOT ACCEPT PEOPLE BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE THEM.*

Of course,  wives are not from husbands backgrounds, so it will take TIME for them to adjust. Stop trying to change her, ACCEPT her, LOVE her, TEACH her and be PATIENT with her; that is what GROOMING is all about. She is going to be your WIFE but she is your BRIDE now, so GROOM her. Stop complaining about her, she may be a TURTLE 🐢 and you a HAWK, she cannot fly so be PATIENT with her. I DO not believe that your MARRIAGE cannot work, be PATIENT and allow GOD to HELP you.

MAY ALMIGHTY GOD CONTINUE TO BE WITH US, GUIDE AND PROTECT US IN ALL OUR MARRIAGE AFFAIRS AMEN 🙏 !!!

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