1. Both of them need respect. Yes gentlemen, respect is not for the man alone
2. Both of them need great sex. Yes gentlemen, sex is not all about your pleasure alone. Your wife too has sexual needs
3. Both of them need security. Yes ladies, as the man plays his part to make you secure, marrying you and affirming you; he needs you to affirm him too. He needs to know that you are on his side, don't seem unsure
4. Both of them need appreciation. Yes ladies, as you desire your man to recognise and compliment what you do, big and small; he too feels good when you appreciate all that he does instead of treating him with an attitude of "Well that is what you are meant to do as a man"
5. Both of them need love. Many men try and act macho and say they don't need love, what they want is respect but actually they are scared of losing the love of their woman. Truth is, a woman can show a man respect because of his title as a man but despise him in her heart, but a woman cannot love a man and not respect him
6. Both of them need to be understood. There is nothing that hurts as being judged or wrongfully accused or concluded upon by the one you are with
7. Both of them need faithfulness. Gentlemen, you wouldn't want your wife to cheat on you or to take in another man as her second or third husband so why do the same to her? Ladies, you wouldn't want your man emotionally getting involved with another woman so why are you doing it with another man?
8. Both of them need to be told "I love you" Both the man and the woman starts to notice when "I love you" is no longer said, they silently begin to doubt if they are still loved. Love must not only be done, it must also be said
9. Both of them need to be checked up on. Ladies, it is unfair for you to always seat pretty waiting for the man to call, text or ask how you are, he needs that care too. Be there for him. Show effort as he does the same. Many men are silently hurting and feeling alone yet they are in a relationship/married
10. Both of them don't want to be abused. No one, man or woman wants to feel physically or emotionally threatened. Do not hit, slap, throw things at, insult, mock or mimic your partner. Don't make your partner feel unsafe
11. Both of them want to be apologized to. Gentlemen, swallow your pride and ego and say sorry when she feels you have wronged her. Don't cover it up or justify it because you would lose your cool if she was to hurt you and show no remorse. Ladies, stop acting like it is always the man at fault and you are always right
12. Both of them want a partner who cares about their dreams. There is nothing that hurts as spending all your life with someone who doesn't care about what you care about. Gentlemen, find out your woman's personal vision and support her. Ladies, don't make your man feel like you want him to stop all he is passionate about just to make you happy
13. Both of them need companionship. Forever is a very long time to spend with someone you can't have a good conversation with. Don't make your partner struggle to talk to you
14. Both of them need trust. The relationship/marriage will go no where if you two are not trustworthy and don't trust each other
It has never been a gender thing. Love is not a place to only think about yourself but a place to be selfless, to treat your partner how you want your partner to treat you. What you are doing to your partner you are actually doing to yourself
© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde
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