HOW TO FIRE UP YOUR SEX LIFE

1. Make sure your spouse never doubts your faithfulness. The number one impediment to a healthy sex life is the thought of infidelity 

2. Treat each other well when sex is not the agenda. A healthy sex life starts when you two are fully dressed, away from the bedroom

3. Do cheeky and naughty stuff together. Grab her butt when she least expects it, pass your hand on his penis, rub each other on the nipples without warning

4. Call it love making, don't call it having sex. That gives it a heart

5. Avoid pornography. That makes you focus on each other and not depend on sounds and images from strangers to arouse you. It also makes you both feel special and heightens pure pleasure

6. Flirt together throughout the day. Send each other naughty messages. Turn each other on

7. Work on your look. Invest in lingerie, change your dressing to avoid monotony, stimulate visually

8. Use suggestive postures. Dance for and on your spouse. Lap dance, twerk, kata kiuno. Give each other an exclusive show

9. Maintain hygiene. Cleanliness will make you both look forward to licking, touching and love making. Put on attractive scents

10. Have bedroom make overs. Switch up the look in your bedroom from time to time. Change your environment. Avoid monotony

11. Focus on romance and sensuality. Talk heart to heart, cuddle, please each other, listen, do sweet things. Don't make the goal be an orgasm, make the goal be to make each other feel loved

12. Take it outside the bedroom. Don't make love only in the bedroom, do it in other rooms, book a hotel room, take a vacation, create new experiences

13. Take your time. Don't rush through love making unless it's a quickie. Make it special

14. Know that tomorrow is another day. Don't put pressure on yourselves incase the orgasm today comes too quickly or doesn't come at all. Sex is not a goal to score, lovemaking is about intimacy

15. Make out more. Kiss, touch, stroke, nibble on the ear lobe and neck, gently blow on each other if that brings pleasure. Focus not just on what is between the legs

16. Don't talk about your sexual struggles and get stuck there. Act, no lamenting. Going on and on about how boring or little sex you are having discourages the mind and sex starts in the mind

17. Recap on how great the love making was. Talk about the sensations you made each other feel. This will boost your confidence and help you both know what things to keep on doing to give each other pleasure 

© Dayan Masinde 

In the love book called GOOD SEX BAD SEX, I reveal how to get the most out of intimacy and also show what happens when you abuse, misuse or use sex wrongly.

If you purchase the book and also wish to receive the SEX QUIZ FOR HUSBANDS and SEX QUIZ FOR WIVES. kindly text the word QUIZ together with your email address upon purchase.

____________________________

GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "GOOD SEX BAD SEX", WRITTEN BY DAYAN MASINDE

STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 300 to 0721590954

STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954

STEP 3: Receive the digital book in your email

STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

1. WORKING SO HARD AT YOUR JOB/BUSINESS BUT NOT IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Men, your company, your career, and your business are growing and flourishing because you lead them; your marriage will grow and flourish when you lead it and dedicate time to it.

2. THINKING THAT FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN IS NOT CHEATING

You may not physically sleep with other women, but emotionally cheating is also unfaithfulness. Receiving nude images and having phone intimacy with other women is also cheating. Talking suggestively and attracting temptations is also cheating. If you are a flirt, flirt with your wife. If you claim your wife is too rigid, treat her well, and she will respond to your kinky ways. She also wants intimate pleasure and to feel wanted.

3. BEING GENEROUS OUTSIDE AND STINGY AT HOME

Don't be the husband who quickly says yes when other people ask for help, for your time and your money, but stingy to your wife and child/children. Your family comes first. Don't go to harambees contributing large sums, helping out people because you want to have a good public image yet to your family you deprive and deny.

4. THINKING THAT SHOWING LOVE IS AN UNMANLY THING

When you were dating and courting, you were romantic and thoughtful; but now that you are married, you wrongly think showing love is beneath you. If you truly love your wife, tell her, she needs to hear it. Warm her heart. Romance her. Date your wife. Her being a wife doesn't mean she doesn't need to feel loved. Real men show their love. God is a loving God. If God doesn't find showing love as something beneath Him, who are you to shun showing affection yet you are created in the image of God?

5. THROWING MONEY AND GIFTS AT PROBLEMS

When your wife and kids get concerned about you spending much time away from home, when you are told you are not doing what you are supposed to; change, improve. Don't throw money and gifts at them to silence them. They want your time and presence, not lifeless things.

6. ADMIRING OTHER WOMEN MORE THAN YOUR WIFE

If you find other women better looking than your wife, work on your wife. Nourish her with compliments, buy her clothes you think she'd look good in, take her shopping, pamper her, love her up till she glows. Go to the gym with her. Jog with her.

7. WASTING YOUR FAMILY MONEY ON MEANINGLESS THINGS

Stop wasting your family money on alcohol, drugs, prostitutes, strippers, and addictions. Invest that money in your family, the future of your child/children. Even if you are a super wealthy man, you can find other ways to have fun that contributes positively to your family life. You can channel your money into more honorable things like supporting your parents, your siblings, the less fortunate, and the needs of society. You don't have to be unfaithful and reckless just because you have lots of money.

8. JUSTIFYING PORNOGRAPHY

Pornography is lusting after other women on videos and images. This is actually cheating because you are desiring other women, not your wife. This also lays the ground for future acts of unfaithfulness. Because you see no harm in desiring strange women on videos and pictures, soon you will see no harm in desiring women in the streets, at work, in your neighborhood; then you might actually sleep with another woman.

9. THINKING THAT BEING THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY MEANS BEING A DICTATOR

This is what makes some husbands beat up their wives, abuse them, sit on them, and hinder their progress. Your wife is not your junior but your partner, she is one with you. Hurting her is hurting you. She is not your competitor, celebrate her progress. Being head doesn't mean your word is law or that you treat your wife as a slave. In fact, because you are the head you should serve more, give more and humble yourself to make sure your wife and child/children are doing well.

10. IGNORING YOUR WIFE'S ADVICE

Don't hide things from your wife. Engage her in making family decisions, you are stronger when you move as a team. Your wife has sharp instincts and she will help you navigate through life's issues.

11. BEING TOO PROUD TO SAY SORRY OR TO LISTEN

You are capable of doing wrong, and when you do wrong, admit it. Problems don't get solved when you deny them. You are not perfect. Learn to say sorry to your wife and child/children. By refusing to say sorry, you are showing your wife you are insensitive and that will hurt her and damage the mood at home. Sometimes all a woman needs is for you to say, "I am sorry." Be open to learning and being corrected. Far too many men are ruining their homes because of pride.

12. ABANDONING YOUR SPIRITUAL ROLE

You are to lead your family, even spiritually. Don't neglect this role and leave it for your wife alone. Your wife needs your prayers, she needs you to walk with her in God. Your child/children need to see you living for God, praying, and teaching them about God. You say you want a Godly household, well, be an actively Godly husband and father.

13. TAKING YOUR JOB TITLE HOME

Whether you are a C.E.O, Manager, Director, or an award-winning professional, once you get home or are with your wife and family, put away your title. Play your role as husband and father. Don't treat your wife and children like subordinates, lording over them. The home is a place of love, not a place for orders, restrictions, pressure, and intimidation.

14. HIDING YOUR FAILURES

In case things don't go well, you get fired, you get retrenched, or you make a bad decision; share it with your wife, don't hide it trying to project a fake image of 'everything is alright'. Your wife is there for you, she will walk with you. Share with her your weaknesses and failures. Love will always win.

15. WORRYING MORE ABOUT WHAT YOUR MALE FRIENDS OR PARENTS THINK THAN PLEASING YOUR FAMILY

Don't let your friends or parents run your marriage. Don't let your friends negatively influence you by mocking you that you are being sat on by your wife or wrongly advise you to be tough on your wife just to prove you are man enough. A true friend is a friend to your marriage. Your parents might mean well but might drive a wedge between you and your wife. You left your father and mother to be one with your wife. Defend your home.

16. BEING INTIMATELY SELFISH

Your wife has intimate needs too. Don't just seek your own gratification and then sleep or leave her unsatisfied. Fulfill her physically. Kiss her, touch her, embrace her, massage her, stimulate her, explore her body, evoke her passion, make her tremble, give her every sensual pleasure. She is devoted to you, and no other can fulfill this role like you can. Make sure she's fulfilled, and she'll reciprocate. Your responsibility is to arouse her and satisfy her intimately. A passionately engaged wife is a content wife and fosters a harmonious home. Make love to her.

17. LETTING HER BE THE PARENT ALONE

When she gets pregnant, don't abandon her. Walk with her as she carries your child. After birth, be proactive in teaching, mentoring, and guiding your child/children. Stop the nonsense of when the child does wrong, the child is your wife's; when the child does well, you are a proud father.

18. FAILING TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN FOR YOUR SUCCESSION

When you start a business, involve your child/children. Let your wife know of your properties, assets, and ventures. Prepare your children's future. Write a will. Share information, don't keep things in the dark. Too much unnecessary confusion plagues families because of lack of preparation in your marriage.

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THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR CHILD

THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR CHILD

1. QUALITY TIME

Your presence is needed. Provision is also in providing time

2. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Show your child no judgment, no rejection or that he/she has to do certain things to earn your love. Don't compare your child with others

3. SPACE TO GROW

Allow your child to grow into the phases of life. Don't expect your child to reason like you yet you have more experience. Don't rob your child his/her childhood or teenagehood. Let your child curve his/her own identity 

4. A STABLE HOME

Nothing stresses a child more than a home where mom and dad are in turmoil; or where a single parent is erratic and abusive. Give your child a safe haven

5. UNITY

Parent together as a couple. Show your child teamwork

6. DISPLAY OF SUPPORT 

Deliberately do things to show support such as cheering on, giving of success cards, bragging about your child in public, being present in landmark moments and affirming your child

7. A VISION

Guide your child into having a vision. A vision is your child's why. Why go to school, why work hard, why pursue goals? Don't just tell your child what to do, help him/her get their personal why

8. ENCOURAGEMENT

Be your child's biggest cheerleader. When he/she falls, help the child up. Be your child's inspiration

9. DISCERNMENT 

Cultivate a value system in your child so that he/she can choose what is right even in moments you are not around

10. DISCIPLINE

Teach your child self-control, how to stay the course. Self-control is a muscle, the more your child practice it, the better your child becomes at it

11. A GOOD EDUCATION

Take your child to the best schools you can afford, if you are able to get a sponsorship, do it. Buy books and share content that builds, if you give your child a digital device, direct your child to sites that lead to growth. Make learning fun. Expose your child to different ideas through travel, push boundaries.

HOLD WHAT IS YOURS

HOLD WHAT IS YOURS

1. No one else should flirt with your spouse; so flirt with him/her in the most seductive and creative of ways

2. No one else should touch your spouse intimately; so touch him/her like you know what you have is special and you are proud of it

3. No one else knows your spouse's secrets like you do; so hold your spouse safely, protecting valuable information

4. No one else knows your spouse better than you; so use that information to love him/her better

5. No one else has unrestricted access to your spouse; so unapologetically spend time with him/her, make plans

6. No one else is ready to please you but your spouse; so make your requests known, make your spouse feel needed

7. No one else you are one with; so be involved in what concerns your spouse, whatever affects him/her affects you too

8. No one else has the green light to kiss or spank your spouse; go on, do it

9. No one else is growing old with you; make fond memories while you both are still alive 

10. No one else is meant to make love to your spouse; so give your spouse the most amazing sexual experience

Your spouse shouldn't be tempted to get from another what only you should be giving. Don't just be faithful, enjoy faithfulness 

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

4 KEYS TO RELATING CORDIALLY WITH A WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

4 KEYS TO RELATING CORDIALLY WITH A WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

1) PATIENCE

Women are unique, created very differently from Men.

They are EMOTIONAL beings, things that you as a man may not see as serious can make a Woman cry. 

She can be happy and cry

She can be sad and still cry 

You'd need patience to deal with her EMOTIONS and how she displays them, you may not understand them, just be there for her. 

Another thing you'll need patience for when relating with a woman is MOOD SWINGS, 

Mood swings differ from woman to woman, even the average Woman's mood swing can be quite challenging for the Man who is a LOGICAL being, one minute she's happy, the next minute, she's not in the mood, in such a case, you just need to be patient with her and react lovingly

2) HUMILITY

A Woman will sometimes give her Man orders, only a humble Man will see no problem in that. 

A Woman will sometimes deserve/demand an apology from her spouse, sometimes even when he's not the one at fault, only a humble Man will apologize, whether he is wrong or right. 

Proud Men seek to rule their Women 

Humble Men seek to rule with their Women 

3) A SUGAR COATED TONGUE

Women are moved by Words, 

Women like to be wooed, it doesn't matter if she's 20 or 40, and one of the method of wooing Is WORDS. 

A Man whose mouth is unbridled, unnecessarily harsh and sarcastic will inflict damage on his woman's ego and self esteem. 

Every Man will need to be twice as good at COMPLIMENTING as he is at CRITICISM to please a Woman.  

4) SELF CONTROL

Women are blessed with words, at times she may unintentionally say some hurtful words or take some unnecessary actions, as a Man, if you do not have self control, you may end up doing something you'd regret later.

A Woman will get pregnant, and put to bed, and need to stay off sex.

A Wife will sometimes be tired, or not in the mood for sex for a little while a Husband without self control will have issues at this point.

Women and already made man

Women want husbands who are capable and willing to take charge in different areas. Even where a woman is strong, she doesn’t want to be that all the time because the idea behind marriage also involves having a spouse that is dependable.

Unfortunately, many marriages are currently in that state with others headed for that. 

Woman wakes up and realises she is no longer attracted to her husband not because she’s having her affair but because the man no longer satisfies what sparks her attraction, husband has now become just a flatmate.

The most common reason is money even though it goes beyond this. Many responsibilities within the marriage are facilitated by funds so a man that cannot provide will put a caring wife in this state eventually if he doesn’t get active about bringing results.

It is worse where he is seen as not pushing his weight.

But there are other things you don’t need money for. Tasks within the home, parenting, creating quality time, ideas and conversations etc are examples you can achieve without money but then the average husband out there is not raised to see it this way. To many, these things are done only by the ‘weak’ as they have been told. They forget that every home is unique in need.

Sometimes it’s the small things that destroy the emotions, slipping into a nonchalant space where said husband becomes used to the wife taking charge of everything. 

Known to him “my wife will always take charge”.

Unknown to him, this is the reason attraction fades away and love follows out of the marriage until the crack leads to separation and divorce.

Even the strongest of women still want a man that can take charge sometimes. There’s nothing attractive about a man who appears lazy or lax. 

But how do I get my husband to understand this? That is a conversation deeper than this text. 

-Shamseddin Giwa