1-3 BIG SECRETS IN MARRIAGE!*

*Secret 1:*

Everyone you marry has a weakness. No spouse is perfect, the one who comes in all shades of perfection is the one who is alive in your spouse, and that person is God. So if you focus on your spouse's weaknesses you will never get the best out of his or her strength.

See, the couples that last are the ones who magnify each others strength, rather than the weaknesses.

Secret 2:

Everyone has a dark history. No one is an angel. When you get married or you want to get married stop digging into someone's past. What matters most is the present life of your partner. Old things have passed away. Forgive and forget. Focus on the present and the future you are building together.

Secret 3:

Every marriage has its own challenges. Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good marriage has gone through its own test of blazing fire. True love proves in times of challenges. Fight for your marriage. Fight, Fight, Fight until the enemy steps out of the ring. Make up your mind to stay with your spouse through the ups and the downs.

*EVERY MAN DESERVES A 4G WIFE*

(Interesting and worth sharing)

I have met 1G wives, 2G wives, 3G wives and 4G wives, but only the 4G wives are making lasting positive impacts.

Some sisters would say but I am not married yet... You are supposed to be a wife material before marriage. The Bible says, "he that findeth a wife..." Therefore, let's learn one or more from these to add values to our lives.

1G Wives:

The First G stands for Good. Every Man deserves a Good wife. I will explain what I meant by being Good. The Bible says "he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing..."

Prov. 31:12 says,

"She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."

A Good wife does 6 things to her husband. The dictionary defines being Good as having desirable or positive qualities. How do you recognize a good wife?

1. She is kind to her husband. She speaks kind words and do kind things.

I was with a wife one day and I called her a witch to her face. I said "You don't have to be flying to be a witch, you are behaving like one already" do you know what she did?

Her husband came back from work and the man was still outside with dirty clothes and body and she was screaming that he brought money for food home what about money for school fees?

I said "this man has gone out since morning, he has worked hard and is tired already, can't you be kind enough to give him water for bathing and give him food before collecting money and screaming at him?

Some wives treat strangers better than they treat their husband.

2. A Good woman is a true Help Meet.

She doesn't put the burden of the family on her husband alone.

Some women want their husband to pay house rent, give them household allowance, take care of their family and his family and still pay school fees.

The poor man will still buy them clothes and shoes and he is in trouble if he forgets to pay electricity bills or renew DSTV subscription. Kukuma kill the man.

Women should take time to study Proverbs 31 diligently. A virtuous woman is not lazy and dependent on her husband alone for survival.

3. A Good woman is loving to her husband and appreciates her in-laws. She loves them because they are the reason she has a great man who loves her.

Someone trained that man, sent him to school, teach him manners and how to treat a woman well. You are enjoying the fruit of other people's labour. Don't call them pests or parasites.

4. A Good wife is a peaceful woman. She treats her neighbours well and hospitable.

5. A good woman is a good cook and a good caretaker.

She understands that the way to her Man's heart is through his stomach. Men love good food.

6. A good woman grooms her home and tend her garden.

When she is Good she has 1G, we all know that 1G cannot get you anywhere, hence, the need to upgrade.

2G Wives:

The 2nd G is Gorgeous.

Psalm 45:10-11

10. Listen, O daughter,

Consider and incline your ear;

Forget your own people also, and your father’s house; 11. So the King will greatly desire your beauty; Because He is your Lord, worship Him.

Prov. 31:22

"She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple".

There was a period that I equated Holiness with wearing oversized clothes and wearing colour riot. Thank God for knowledge.

A Gorgeous wife:

1. Dresses beautifully to attract her husband

2. Wins him over and nurture his affection

3. Reverence her husband and places him on a pedestal. Yes, she is biased and partial to her husband because they have got each other's back.

4. She is charming and pretty

5. She fascinate her husband

6. She knows and maintain her place in his heart

7. She knows that the way she dresses is the way people will address her husband.

When a wife is Good & Gorgeous, she has 2G. We all know that 2G cannot do much for you as well, you need more than that.

3G Wives:

The 3rd G is GREAT.

The dictionary defines Great as achieving Distinction and Honor. A Great wife is a distinctive wife not a destructive wife.

A Great Wife does the following:

1. She honours her husband publicly and privately.

I know a woman that used to call her husband her lord. How will you feel as a husband if your wife calls you my lord? Will you beat such a woman or starve her?

2. A Great woman Praises her husband, she does not put him down.

I was with a couple one day and I told the wife jokingly while admiring her new phone that "Your husband is trying O! How many husbands will buy their wife a phone at this time when the economy is hard?" She said "Se iru phone eleyi lawon egbe e n ra fun iyawo won?" Meaning is this the type of phone his Mates buy for their wife?

3. A Great woman preserves her husband by giving him peace of mind.

A man has gone to work since morning and when he comes home at night what you use to welcome him is "Thank God you are home, I would have killed somebody but trust me Sha, I showed her pepper"

There are too many Madam pepper working around parading themselves as wives, God will save men.

Many men are so fed up that they are praying for death.

4. A Great Wife romances her husband and seduce him.

We were told that as a Christian woman, you must be ready to be your husband's prostitute. If you can serve him dinner in the bedroom and in the sitting room you can do anything with him.

5. A Great woman guide her husband into greatness.

She dusts him up and encourages him.

We know that 3G is great but nothing can beat 4G because it is much more better.

4G Wives:

The 4th G is Godly.

Every man deserves a Godly wife.

Prov. 31:30 says,

"Favour is deceitful and beauty is vanity but a woman that fear the Lord should be praised".

A Godly wife:

1. Has a Christlike character and humble disposition.

2. Guard her tongue and does not use it to inflict pain on her husband.

3. Put God first in everything she does.

4. Builds her home prayerfully

5. She honours her husband

6. She forgives her husband

7. Train her children in the way of the Lord and gently groom her husband to love the Lord more.

The Benefit of having a 4G wife.

3G is better but 4G is the best because it connect to the heart of God and her husband efficiently and consistently.

A 4G wife is

1. Good

2. Gorgeous

3. Great

4. Godly

May God give you such a wife as a man if you are not married, and if you're already married, receive grace for upgrade in your marriage.

Also, if you are a lady and not on the 4G network yet, connect with your maker and receive the grace to

upgrade to 4G now in Jesus' Name

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Author unknown

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I killed my wife

The husband was home already. When he perfunctorily checked his phone, his wife had called him thrice. He disregarded calling her back out of malice. The wife drove in some forty minutes later. He saw Usman opening the gate for her as his phone went on ringing. He checked it. It was his wife. She was in her car at the garage already. What is she calling me for? Foolish and stubborn wife! He said and ignored her calls. The call went on for a while. He ignored it as he sat with the TV. Thirty minutes later, she did not come in. Something told him to go and check. Is she still in the car? Yes she must be there. He called Usman, Is madam in the car? Few minutes later, Usman rushed in. Madam dey sleep inside the car o. That was when he woke up and rushed downstairs. Asthma! She was Asthmatic! Could she be having her usual attack? Could she have forgotten her inhaler?He quickly took the inhaler and rushed downstairs. When he got there, she was almost breathless. and husband quickly carried her to the back seat and off, he sped like a bat out of hell, to a clinic nearby. Madam was confirmed dead! If he had picked her call early enough, probably she could have been saved. When you leave domestic disagreement to fester for too long, it leads to greater evil. The Husband is weeping mad, blaming himself...i killed my wife! Only God knows how many wives, husbands, children have died such a needless death. Couples must cultivate one another. No matter how angry you are with your wife, in your office, in her shop, pls call her at least three times during the day,call even when you have no reason to call. If all you could say is "Where are you?" "Wetin dey?" "Anything for your love?" A must read for ALL husbands n wives.learn!!

SEX GOES WITH SENSE

2 Samuel 13:17-19 Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.

And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.

And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.

Ammon did not love Tamar but was filled with passion ...Apart from sex what do you want, what attracts you .Many got it wrong when they based their love on sex .Life becomes miserable as horror of misery follow such *senseless sex relationships..*

Passion for beauty

Peers pressure and accidental desperation will remove the honours abd glory from a man ...Jonadab had done his work and go left them with regret that's why sex is only good in the marriage parlance ...

Prayer..Ask for forgiveness..fight it

Steps to resolving conflicts in marriage

- Find a God honouring solution (In the resolving process, bear in mind that there is an unseen guest, the Almighty God who was a witness between you and your spouse.-Malachi 2 : 14)

Each of you tells the other what you think the problems is.

Don't seek to prove who is at fault, talk about possible solutions.

Discuss the possibilities, thinking of what would be best for your marriage.

Recognize that a solution will require a change in behaviour on the part of both partners. Ask yourself, “what can I do to make this solution work “?

- Focus on changing your behaviour

Work on changing your behaviour and allow your partner to work on his or hers ( Don't say, “ when you change I will change “)

- Forgive each other

To forgive simply means to release. To set a person free as a judicial act

Forgiving is not a feeling but something you choose to do

It is a command not optional (Colosians 3 : 13 - Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you).

When a husband or wife has been hurt, the “self” cries out for justice. God did not give us justice but rather He offered us mercy and grace.

- Hug each other.

When we touch – cuddle, hug, or hold hands, our bodies release “feel good” hormones. Once the hormones are released into our bodies we experience feelings of happiness, relaxation, improve mood, and lower levels of depression.

For counseling and prayers

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LOSS OF SEXUAL URGE BY MEN

*Why Do Men Lose Sexual Urges?*

From ancient times, men did discovered that when lovers have been together for many years, they gradually lose sexual appetite for each other. Even to the point that the man can no longer get his penis erected in sexual anticipation, no matter the seductive efforts of the woman to help in copulation. This can be very trying and devastating especially for the man, who before then had always considered himself "ever ready...a champ!"

Meanwhile, as soon as he stepped out into the arms of another woman, his penis surges in arousal to the heights of Mount Everest. As a traditionally superstitious and unlearned man, he concludes, "There is something wrong with my wife." So he marries this second woman. The same strange "impotence" reoccurs after some years, and he goes on to marry another....

You see, polygamy in many cases is about men trying to be sexually active till death. They do not understand that no longer having sexual appetite for the woman you have been with for years is very natural. They think it is abnormal. But the truth remains that when you have been with one particular woman for a very long time, sexual appetite dies off gradually. This is why the Urhobo people have a proverb especially among men with multiple lovers, "Ohoro ovo hw'osho!"(One vagina only, kills penis).

Nevertheless, observation, experience, and deductive logic have proved that the reason why we lose sexual appetite overtime for our women is not that they stopped being beautiful, or sexually attractive.

It is because a man being together with a woman transcends sex. When everything is done and dusted, only one undeniable human need lingers on: companionship.

Companionship is the reason some married people celebrate fifty years of being together in marriage. Were it not so, left for sex alone, that marriage would have ended, at least, forty years before then.

I rest my case.