THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX AND INTIMACY

1. Sex only requires two horny people; intimacy requires two people in love

2. The goal of sex is orgasm; the goal of intimacy is connection

3. Sex doesn't need investment in conversations; intimacy requires conversations to communicate why the closeness is happening

4. Sex you can have with anyone; intimacy you can have with only one special person

5. Sex feels like a failure when there is no climax; intimacy doesn't need a climax to achieve fulfillment and sometimes just a touch is enough

6. Sex can be hurried; intimacy doesn't want to be rushed

7. Sex can be done outside the confines of love, even in affairs; intimacy happens because of love

8. Sex leads to comparison and competition "Is the one I am with as good in bed as my ex or the porn star I lust for?"; intimacy is personal and full of depth

9. Sex alone is empty and makes one experiment with others to see whether there is better sex out there; intimacy brings fulfillment and completion leading to faithfulness

10. Sex you can have with someone you've just met today; intimacy takes time to cultivate

11. Sex is easy to forget; intimacy is what you will cherish even into your old age

12. Sex abused can confuse you; intimacy inspires

13. Sex is largely physical; intimacy is emotional, spiritual, mental and physical

May you pursue more than sex, may you pursue intimacy. May you have more than sex with your spouse, may you have an intimate marriage

© Dayan Masinde 

In the love book called GOOD SEX BAD SEX, I reveal how to get the most out of intimacy and also show what happens when you abuse, misuse or use sex wrongly.

GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "GOOD SEX BAD SEX", WRITTEN BY DAYAN MASINDE

STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 300 to 0721590954

STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954

STEP 3: Receive the digital book in your email

STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer

If you to get THE SEX QUIZ FOR HUSBANDS and SEX QUIZ FOR WIVES,  text the word "QUIZ" as you text your email address upon purchase

5 SERVANTS OF GOD IN NIGERIA

5 SERVANTS OF GOD IN NIGERIA

In response to a question asked by a commentator on a Facebook post yesterday, I now confirm that there are five ‘Servants of God’ on the path to sainthood in the Catholic Church in Nigeria. 

Servant of God is the first of four stages before one is declared a Saint. The ‘Servants of God’ are:

1. Fr. Abraham Anselm Ojefua: founder of the Order of Knights of St Mulumba, died in 1988, aged 78. 

2. Bishop Michael Eneja: third Bishop of Enugu Diocese from 1978 to 1996, died in 2008, aged 89.

3. Archbishop Gabriel Gonsum Ganaka: second Bishop and first Archbishop of Jos from 1974 until his death in 1999, aged 62.

4. Vivian Uchechi Ogu: 14-year old Catholic girl who resisted being sexually defiled by armed robbers and was killed (in Benin City archdiocese) in 2009.

5. Fr. Aaron Ejikemeuwa Ekwu: priest of Awka Diocese, ordained in 1965 in Vienna Austria, served in Austria and Nigeria and died in a fatal car accident in 1989, aged 53. 

#fadakaymedia

@padre_mano

© Omokugbo Ojeifo, 2024

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HOW TO HAVE PEACE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1. BE BEST FRIENDS

Marry your best friend. And when you are married, deliberately stay best friends. There is peace in close friendship

2. HAVE A LOT OF SEX

Making love releases the tension and brings about intimacy. With intimacy comes peace

3. BE RIGHT WITH GOD 

The more your relationship with God as individuals and as a couple grows; the more peaceful you will be

4. MAKE GOOD FINANCIAL DECISIONS 

Don't go into debt, live within your means, don't misuse money or cause your spouse to feel financially overburdened. Even when you are in financial problems, come up with a plan. Financial strain can bring stress

5. START EACH DAY RIGHT 

Start with a blessing, a prayer, a kiss, warm words; it sets the tone of the day

6. HELP EACH OTHER OUT

Do everything as a team. Share responsibilities. It lifts the burden bringing peace

7. RESOLVE ISSUES QUICKLY 

Don't dwell on issues. Apologize when you wrong, forgive when wronged. Making up maintains peace

8. CONTROL YOUR TEMPER

Learn to keep calm when angry. Pray

9. PLAY WORSHIP MUSIC 

Let worship surround the home. Where God is worshipped there is peace

10. KISS MORE, TOUCH MORE

Cuddling makes you less moody and grumpy

11. DO NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR 

This is the quickest way to destroy peace

12. DON'T DO ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS 

Refrain from doing anything that might make your spouse doubt you or be suspicious of you. You may not be doing wrong but make sure your spouse gets no impression that you are

13. LAUGH

Watch comedies, laugh, play games, enjoy a sport, have constructive debates. Be fun

14. COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER 

Tell your spouse how good he/she is or looks. When people are made to feel good about themselves, they are peaceful

15. SAY "I LOVE YOU" TO EACH OTHER 

These thee words calm the heart, they come with peace

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde 

____________________________

MOTHERLY MARRIAGE ADVICE TO A DAUGHTER

1. My daughter, if ever your father and I cross the boundaries in your marriage, tell us. Keep us in check. Protect your marriage, even from us

2. You have seen good sides of your dad, but please don't expect your husband to be like your father. You only know your father from the perspective of a child, love your husband uniquely. My husband is my husband 

3. Marriage is a beautiful thing but not the only thing in life. As you devote yourself to your husband and children, don't forget you. Grow yourself as an individual, your dreams and goals. When you are fulfilled, marriage will bring you fulfillment 

4. Whatever you do for your dad and I, if you send us support or buy us things, do so together with your husband and also do the same for his parents. Don’t make them think you don’t care

5. If my father and I have hurt you while you were growing up, forgive us. Heal from your childhood trauma so that you don't wound your husband and children on our account 

6. Forgive me and your dad if you watch us spoiling and loving on your children more than we did to you when you were younger, we are just trying to make up for the ways we let you down when you were a child 

7. As you expect your spouse to listen to you and meet your needs, do the same for him. Both your emotions and needs matter 

8. There is a narrative that women rarely apologize. Show that you are different. If your husband perceives you have wronged him, acknowledge it and tell him sorry. Cooking for him good food or buying him a wallet without acknowledging his feelings is not an apology 

9. In marriage there will be different seasons, each season will require different wisdom. Be willing to learn. Don’t panic or quit in tough seasons, don't become comfortable and egotistical in good seasons

10. When you two are having challenges, don’t be quick to come to your father and I. We can easily overreact or become bias. Go to a counsellor or someone neutral. Come to us only when all else fails

11. Remember your power as a wife, your biggest power are your words and tone. Don’t be silent, speak, your voice matters but when you speak at home, speak gently, with love, and with the right tone. You have the power to set the mood. When you brighten up, the whole home brightens up

12. Don't be ashamed of your sexual needs. When you want sex, ask for it from your husband, seduce him, let yourself free to enjoy. Eventually sex will not be possible with age 

13. If you ever get tired or feel overwhelmed, reach out to others for encouragement, engage in self care, breathe then continue. We need you in the right state of mind, don’t breakdown lonely

14. Never ever forget how beautiful you are. I love you and I am proud of you 

 

© Dayan Masinde