THE POWER OF PHYSICAL INTIMACY

1. Physical intimacy is different from sexual intimacy. Physical intimacy is when two people who love each other show affection by their bodies being close

2. Physical intimacy is hugging, leaning on each other, cuddling, holding hands, laughing as you collide, walking together as your bodies bump on each other, sitting on his lap, rubbing the back, rubbing hands as you two talk

3. Physical intimacy makes you both feel safe, welcomed and invited

4. Physical intimacy is threatened when there is emotional or physical abuse

5. Physical intimacy doesn't necessarily have to lead to sexual intimacy. Learn to be close with each other even when sex is not the agenda

6. Physical intimacy is a sign of friendship in marriage 

7. A lot of couples were physically intimate during dating and courtship and stop it in marriage due to familiarity and unresolved issues leading to a dry marriage

8. Sadly, married people who have affairs are physically intimate with the one they are cheating with than their spouse. This makes the affair seem exciting. No, it is because where physical intimacy is, warmth and excitement will be

9. Public display of affection is sweet, it is an expression of physical intimacy communicating you are proud of and close with the one you are with; but private display of affection in physical intimacy is sweeter

10. Children who observe their parents physically intimate feel joy, excitement and a sense of warmth at home

11. Physical intimacy can lead to great conversations

12. Couples that protected their physical intimacy enjoy it the most in old age when they are weak and retired. Something about being touched makes you feel at home

13. People who are rigid and guarded with walls around them tend to repel physical intimacy. Put down your guard, allow your spouse to love you

14. Express physical intimacy when you part ways to go to work or leave to attend to issues and when you reconnect back at home 

When was the last time you hugged your spouse? 

©️ Dayan Masinde 

In the book MOTO MOTO COUPLE, Akello and I address in depth the 21 issues that affect every relationship/marriage including work, sex, finances, children, in-laws, communication and how rekindle love back in your marriage. She giving the female perspective, I give the man's perspective on each of those 21 issues. 

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GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "MOTO MOTO COUPLE", WRITTEN BY AKELLO OLIECH & DAYAN MASINDE

STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 400 to 0721590954

STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954

STEP 3: Receive the digital book in your email

STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer

THE WIFE WHO LIVES IN CHURCH

It was 6am. The night vigil was over, Mrs. Kenzo was walking out of  church. The Pastor stopped her. 

"Mrs. Kenzo, may I please talk to you for two minutes?" Asked the Pastor.

"Sure thing Pastor, do you need my help in ministry?" Asked Mrs. Kenzo.

The Pastor smiled and said, "Wow, you are ever ready to serve. You don't even look tired after all the singing you've done during the night vigil.

Mrs. Kenzo smiled saying, "Thank you. The presence of God makes me glow"

"But as your Pastor I am concerned. I think you are neglecting your marriage and family in the name of serving God" said the Pastor.

Mrs. Kenzo had a blank look on her face.

"I see you in church almost every day. On Sundays you are in church for the service and you leave in the evening because of the women fellowship meetings. Mondays and Thursdays you come for intercessory prayers. Wednesdays you come for the mid-week service. Fridays you come for the Deliverance Services and on Saturdays when we have outreach you are there. Almost every night vigil you are there. You serve in so many ministries, you hold a couple of leadership positions. When do you ever spend time with your husband and children, especially since you are a career woman?"

"But Pastor, I love to serve God and I come to church to pray and fast for my family. I get home quickly prepare dinner, do my responsibilities then rush to church" Mrs. Kenzo told the Pastor.

"Mrs. Kenzo, why not pray and fast at home with your family? I know your husband is born again, why leave him at home alone? Make your home a prayer center, God is everywhere. But even as you pray remember prayers and fasting alone will not hold or save your marriage. Your marriage needs your presence there for God to bless it. 

God will not bless your marriage in a vacuum. Your marriage needs nurturing. Quoting Bible verses alone will not keep your marriage, you need to learn to communicate and be intimate with your husband. Rebuking the devil will not keep your husband faithful if you are absent and not meeting his romantic and physical needs.

 Yes, you say you do your responsibilities and rush to church, but being a mother and a wife is more than cooking, cleaning and running the home. Love equals time" the Pastor spoke.

"My husband used to ask me to do things with him, not any more. My children even call me Mama Church" Mrs. Kenzo said then gave a soft laugh.

"Your husband probably misses you and he got tired of asking for your time. Plus he doesn't want to seem like he is discouraging you from serving God. But you two are drifting apart, it's like you're married to the church" the Pastor said further.

"Pastor, don't say that" Mrs. Kenzo got defensive.

The Pastor continued, "Don't get me wrong, I am not asking you not to serve in church. But remember Church is not this building, the Church is a living body of believers that your born again husband and children are a part of.

 Your first ministry and priority is your family. The Church needs strong families. Find a balance - love and nurture your marriage and family plus make time for ministry here. Always remember that here we can find people to serve when we all give some time as a congregation but your family has only one wife and one mother. No one can play your role at home"

"I have trouble saying no when asked to serve. I feel guilty" she confessed.

"Say yes to your family and yes to serve God with wisdom. 

NO is not an evil answer especially when you have your priority right.

 

Sometimes it's easier to say yes to others than to family. Take charge of your time so that you are effective at home and here. Balance. I as a Pastor had to learn to make time for my family too.

 My marriage almost fell apart out of neglect. You just need to find a workable timetable. Read the book of Acts where the Apostles turned down church roles and Stephen and others got the responsibility"

Mrs. Kenzo sighed and said, "My marriage does need some work"

The Pastor nodded saying, "Some people hide from the problems in their marriage by getting busy in church because they are lazy to work on their marriage. Don't be one of them. Do more than pray, love and be there at home"

"Pastor, I need to go and get ready for work. Next weekend, my family and I will not come for the church service. I will take my family to Mombasa. My children have wanted to go to Mombasa but Mama Church kept refusing" Mrs. Kenzo said shaking the Pastor's hand.

The Pastor shook her hand saying, " That is wonderful.You will have fun in Mombasa. Please greet your family"

© Dayan Masinde 

In the book, MY PRAYER STRATEGY, Akello and I provide 60 daily prayers, 60 daily discussion points, 60 daily reflections on marriage and 60 worship songs to minister to your spirit as you two pray as a couple. This book is for couples who value prayer and also those struggling or don't know how to pray.

To purchase the book MY PRAYER STRATEGY, a 60 day prayer guide for couples that daily helps couples to pray for their marriage, written by Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 400 to 0721590954, then text the word PRAYER and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address or WhatsApp for you to download and read on your phone or computer

HAS SHE STOPPED LOVING ME?

Him and his wife work two different jobs.

Sometimes he leaves the house earlier than she, this day was no exception. He was getting late.

 

He took his last sip of tea and placed the mug down.

He took his car keys and the newspaper, he started walking out and passed his wife as she was coming from the kitchen.

 

His hand was on the door nob, the door was opened, the car alarm switched off.

"Wait!!!" she told him; he stopped.

She straightened his tie that was off.

 

He stepped out, her hands leaning on the door.

Inside the car he went.

Something was wrong with her.

Something was different today.

He looked at her, she was still leaning on the door.

 

This was the first time he had left home, without her telling him "I love you!!!"

It felt weird, he felt unsettled, why didn't she tell him?

Has she stopped loving him?

 

And as he sat there, hands on the steering wheel, thinking only of what he was feeling.

It hit him that for a long time he had been doing to his wife what she's done today.

He couldn't even remember the last time he said "I love you" to her. Lately, she is the one who's been saying those words, he has just been nodding back when she says them, reading the newspaper or sometimes saying a flat and lifeless "I know"

 

Perhaps she got tired of saying it alone. How has she been feeling?

 After he got her used to hearing him saying those three words, why did he suddenly stop assuring her with his words?

As people grow older, does the need to be affirmed go? NO!

 

He quickly got out of the car, feeling sorry over his double standards.

He walked to her, kissed her and held her close.

"I love you" he said. 

She looked at him and said "I know"

He looked back at her, as she gave him a taste of his own medicine.

 

"I know and I love you too" she went on to say.

That's when he realized that we don't say "I love you" to the person we love for ourselves, we say it for them; they need to hear it. Same way as the sun shines afresh each day; even if they know we love them, it feels good them hearing us saying it. 

Do you encourage or discourage the one you love to love you by how you treat him/her? Do you have double standards, wanting to be treated well but not eager to treat well?

Love is both in the words and actions. Your love needs to be heard, felt and done to the one you love.

© Dayan Masinde

In my book, MANHOOD SERIES, I talk about the benefits of a man loving his woman and how it starts by the man loving himself. I talk about the responsibilities of a man to God, to himself, his family and society. Men are capable of loving.

In my other book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk about how a woman can make wise relationship choices, how to inspire love in a man and how a woman carries so many blessings for herself and her man.

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To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

LOVE IS TIME

1. The greatest gift you can ever give to someone, is time

2. Your spouse will discern how much you love them by how much time you give

3. Your spouse will not like the friends who rob your family time

4. Whoever you value; you make time for

5. The more peaceful and pleasant you are, the more time your spouse will want to spend with you. Maybe your spouse avoids you because it is difficult being around you

6. Some conversations and revelations about each other will only happen when you two spend quality time

7. Look at widowers and widowers and they will remind you how precious time is. Cherish your spouse while you still have time. Don't take life for granted 

8. No matter how busy you are, make time to connect with your spouse; a hug, a two minute warm phone call, a ten minute moment of jokes and teasing, a few minutes of pillow talks before sleeping, a few minutes to eat together, a minute to send a text that will tell your spouse he/she is thought of. This is an emotional investment that will pay off richly

9. Dates simply mean uninterrupted time together. Guard those times from your friends, family, children and work

10. Quickies are good, but the sweetest moments of love making are when you two dedicate time to sexually please each other without rushing

11. The greatest test of love is love. Will your love stand the test of time?

 

© Dayan Masinde 

🔥 MOTO MOTO COUPLE 🔥 

SAFER, SWEETER, SEXIER MARRIAGE SEMINAR

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🔴 DATE: Sunday, 28th April

🔴TIME: 2:30pm to 6pm

🔴VENUE: AUGUST 7TH MEMORIAL PARK (Wangari Maathai Conference Hall). Opposite Railways Bus Station next to Co-operative Bank House

🔴CHARGE: Ksh. 500 PER PERSON (send payment to MPESA 0721590954 then text your name and that of your spouse)

🔴SPEAKER: Dayan Masinde

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEX AND INTIMACY

1. Sex only requires two horny people; intimacy requires two people in love

2. The goal of sex is orgasm; the goal of intimacy is connection

3. Sex doesn't need investment in conversations; intimacy requires conversations to communicate why the closeness is happening

4. Sex you can have with anyone; intimacy you can have with only one special person

5. Sex feels like a failure when there is no climax; intimacy doesn't need a climax to achieve fulfillment and sometimes just a touch is enough

6. Sex can be hurried; intimacy doesn't want to be rushed

7. Sex can be done outside the confines of love, even in affairs; intimacy happens because of love

8. Sex leads to comparison and competition "Is the one I am with as good in bed as my ex or the porn star I lust for?"; intimacy is personal and full of depth

9. Sex alone is empty and makes one experiment with others to see whether there is better sex out there; intimacy brings fulfillment and completion leading to faithfulness

10. Sex you can have with someone you've just met today; intimacy takes time to cultivate

11. Sex is easy to forget; intimacy is what you will cherish even into your old age

12. Sex abused can confuse you; intimacy inspires

13. Sex is largely physical; intimacy is emotional, spiritual, mental and physical

May you pursue more than sex, may you pursue intimacy. May you have more than sex with your spouse, may you have an intimate marriage

© Dayan Masinde 

In the love book called GOOD SEX BAD SEX, I reveal how to get the most out of intimacy and also show what happens when you abuse, misuse or use sex wrongly.

GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "GOOD SEX BAD SEX", WRITTEN BY DAYAN MASINDE

STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 300 to 0721590954

STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954

STEP 3: Receive the digital book in your email

STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer

If you to get THE SEX QUIZ FOR HUSBANDS and SEX QUIZ FOR WIVES,  text the word "QUIZ" as you text your email address upon purchase

5 SERVANTS OF GOD IN NIGERIA

5 SERVANTS OF GOD IN NIGERIA

In response to a question asked by a commentator on a Facebook post yesterday, I now confirm that there are five ‘Servants of God’ on the path to sainthood in the Catholic Church in Nigeria. 

Servant of God is the first of four stages before one is declared a Saint. The ‘Servants of God’ are:

1. Fr. Abraham Anselm Ojefua: founder of the Order of Knights of St Mulumba, died in 1988, aged 78. 

2. Bishop Michael Eneja: third Bishop of Enugu Diocese from 1978 to 1996, died in 2008, aged 89.

3. Archbishop Gabriel Gonsum Ganaka: second Bishop and first Archbishop of Jos from 1974 until his death in 1999, aged 62.

4. Vivian Uchechi Ogu: 14-year old Catholic girl who resisted being sexually defiled by armed robbers and was killed (in Benin City archdiocese) in 2009.

5. Fr. Aaron Ejikemeuwa Ekwu: priest of Awka Diocese, ordained in 1965 in Vienna Austria, served in Austria and Nigeria and died in a fatal car accident in 1989, aged 53. 

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© Omokugbo Ojeifo, 2024