MENTALITY AND MARRIAGE

I took time to go through some of the groups I'm following on Facebook today and I couldn't help but ponder.

The major killer of a great marriage even before it starts is "THE WRONG MINDSET"

A lot of people today are going to marriage with the wrong mindset and so, they are not even ready to get it right.

How can you think "all men are the same" and you want to enjoy marriage? Now, if I may ask, how many men have you had relationship with to draw that conclusion?

"It is in the nature of men to cheat" Are you kidding me, says who? Why conclude because you know someone cheating on his wife or probably your husband is cheating on you?

"All ladies want is money" that is your mindset and a very wrong assumption.

"All ladies are the same and they just can't change" that is absolutely wrong, Sir

All these are individual assumptions and a conditioned mindset which have destroyed a lot of marriages and still keeping some single.

It will be good for you if you can do a reprogramming, change the way you think and stop assuming. Assumption kills relationship and if you continue to assume you will continue to lose valuable relationships.

Change your mindset because you are a product of your thoughts and these thoughts come from the image you've created for yourself(assumptions)

Until you change your mindset you will never think right and take responsibility but keep passing blames.

© Bisi Lanre - Ojolo

WISDOM FOR HUSBAND!

Dear husband, you can make your wife the most loving, romantic, admirable and beautiful woman on earth.

Ask her what you can do to make her happy. This is the most important question you will ever ask your wife.

Spoil her with your love. Pamper her.

Treat your wife with dignity.

Don't be her headache. Don't be her pain

Make her happy. Never let her regret getting married to you.

Never compare her to anyone living or dead

Never cheat on her.

There is nothing you desire from side chic that your wife does not have. Don't put your life in danger because of momentary sexual pleasure from side chic

Never beat her no matter what she does. Your wife is not a goat. Real men don't beat women.

Understand her love language and give it to her. Either it can be words, gifts, touch, actions, etc. If it is words, then frequently tell your wife you love and appreciate her. If it is action: regularly do things that she appreciates

Never allow any member of your family to insult her or make life difficult for her.

Be gentle and tender with her.

Make her your priority. Be 100% committed to her.

Pray for her always.

Play with her. Never create a hostile environment for her.

Listen to her. Drop your phone and be attentive to whatever she has to say.

Forgive her no matter her offense. Love forgives

Support her vision. Never bury her dreams because she is married to you.

Encourage her. You should be her number one encourager

Protect her from every physical and spiritual attack.

Satisfy her sexual needs. Never deny her of your body.

Always tell her she's beautiful.

Celebrate her always both online and offline

Spend money to beautify her.

Treat her like your beauty queen.

Give her gifts constantly.

Buy her new sets of undies: buy her bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfume, chocolate, fruits, cakes, ice cream, shortbread biscuits or snacks for her.

Women’s love for shoes, bags & clothes are incurable .

WHAT EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO KNOW

1. Your biggest enemy is yourself. That enemy is the one who makes you overthink, develop a low self-esteem, make you emotionally unstable and give you ulcers. Love yourself from the inside first before you expect love from the outside

2. You are not in a relationship with a man until you both clearly state it. Don't get carried away by the idea of love with a man simply because he spends time with you or treats you special

3. If you are in a relationship or marriage, demanding your man to spend time with you will not make him do so. A man willingly spends time with you because you give him peace and he enjoys your company. Attract him the same way you peacefully and warmly attracted him when he was pursuing you

4. Mr. Right is the man who offers a conducive environment for you to be the best you. Choose your environment well

5. Your husband will never find you if you keep fooling around with other women's husbands

6. Mr. Right can also hurt you. The difference is that Mr. Right hurts when he hurts you, he apologises, owns up to his short comings and makes effort to love you better. Love is a learning process

7. Silent treatment will not solve anything. If your man hurts you, learn to speak your hurt and teach him to love you better. The best couples have mastered the art of conflict resolution

8. Most men don't mind being corrected. What they do mind is the tone with which you correct them. The world has been harsh towards women for years, but tone down your defensive mode and learn to communicate effectively with respect and love. You two don't have to fight and argue to look like you are addressing issues

9. A man who is not serious about you will avoid accountability, will operate in grey areas and will hide you. You will never go far with him. Serious men like being kept accountable, they take pride in what they commit to and are not afraid of responsibilities

Best Marriage Advice EVER...✍🏾

1. Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling. When possible, try to keep your phone off when you're together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the "currency of relationships," so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage. Remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy. And even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won't be a "winner" and a "loser." You're partners in everything so you'll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Realize that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It's usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it's nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it.

9. Remember that marriage isn't 50/50— divorce is 50/50. Marriage has to be 100/100. It's not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they've got.

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you've given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don't feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else's. God's plan for your life is masterfully unique.

12. Don't put your marriage on hold while you're raising your kids or else you'll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust .

HOW TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/ MARRIAGE

HOW TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/ MARRIAGE

Sometimes when two people have been dating or married for so long, the communication can be flat. You've already known each other, so what is there to talk about? The chats become short and few, the phone calls become short and cold, when you are both at home everyone is busy doing their own thing, you both struggle in a conversation, when driving in the car both are silent, you two have ended up talking mostly about the things that need to be done at home, you can feel that the communication is dry.

 How does one restore that funny, warm, alive, quality communication to what it used to be before?

1. "Stop panicking"

When you panic that the communication has changed, you begin to force conversations; making things awkward and complicating things further

2. "Both of you grow intellectually"

When you don't grow as much, you stagnate. Or one of you grows more than the other, there can be a disconnect. But when you acquire more knowledge, research more, go to school to get that Degree, Masters or PhD, or even when you can't go to school you read more and become more exposed to new content; you will have more to talk about

3. "Engage your family and friends more"

Often a man and a woman spend time alone and isolating themselves. But stop making yourselves an island. Meet up with family, do stuff with friends, especially as a couple; that way you will have new experiences and memories. Conversations often revolve around two things: memories and what someone knows

4. "Kiss more"

You cannot kiss and stay quiet. Kissing excites the senses. If you don't have much to say, just kiss each other, get lost in those long intimate kisses. Soon, you both will find yourselves talking

5. "Watch movies together"

Movies are a great way to connect

6. "Go out on dates more"

Sadly, many couples, especially married couples stop going out on dates. Staying at home every time can get monotonous, nothing new to experience

Before You Say I Do:

Before You Say I Do:

 Ladies! Do not be committed to a man who is not committed to you. When a man truly loves a woman, he will show it by his loving actions. Words are cheap. Do not believe every word that a man tells you but believe everything he shows you by his actions. 

If a man loves you, he will pursue you and will never leave you wondering if he truly loves you. If you are always the one chasing him and calling him and sending countless unreturned text messages, he is not serious with you. 

If all he does is give you countless excuses of why he cannot be with you, then he is probably committed to someone else. 

A man who truly loves you will give you undivided attention and unsolicited affection. If his love is not freely given, then his love is not worth receiving. 

Do not be with a man who just tolerates you, be with one who pursues, appreciates and values you. A man who takes you for granted will always take advantage of you. Move on! You deserve better. – Isaac Kubvoruno