HOLD WHAT IS YOURS

HOLD WHAT IS YOURS

1. No one else should flirt with your spouse; so flirt with him/her in the most seductive and creative of ways

2. No one else should touch your spouse intimately; so touch him/her like you know what you have is special and you are proud of it

3. No one else knows your spouse's secrets like you do; so hold your spouse safely, protecting valuable information

4. No one else knows your spouse better than you; so use that information to love him/her better

5. No one else has unrestricted access to your spouse; so unapologetically spend time with him/her, make plans

6. No one else is ready to please you but your spouse; so make your requests known, make your spouse feel needed

7. No one else you are one with; so be involved in what concerns your spouse, whatever affects him/her affects you too

8. No one else has the green light to kiss or spank your spouse; go on, do it

9. No one else is growing old with you; make fond memories while you both are still alive 

10. No one else is meant to make love to your spouse; so give your spouse the most amazing sexual experience

Your spouse shouldn't be tempted to get from another what only you should be giving. Don't just be faithful, enjoy faithfulness 

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

4 KEYS TO RELATING CORDIALLY WITH A WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

4 KEYS TO RELATING CORDIALLY WITH A WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

1) PATIENCE

Women are unique, created very differently from Men.

They are EMOTIONAL beings, things that you as a man may not see as serious can make a Woman cry. 

She can be happy and cry

She can be sad and still cry 

You'd need patience to deal with her EMOTIONS and how she displays them, you may not understand them, just be there for her. 

Another thing you'll need patience for when relating with a woman is MOOD SWINGS, 

Mood swings differ from woman to woman, even the average Woman's mood swing can be quite challenging for the Man who is a LOGICAL being, one minute she's happy, the next minute, she's not in the mood, in such a case, you just need to be patient with her and react lovingly

2) HUMILITY

A Woman will sometimes give her Man orders, only a humble Man will see no problem in that. 

A Woman will sometimes deserve/demand an apology from her spouse, sometimes even when he's not the one at fault, only a humble Man will apologize, whether he is wrong or right. 

Proud Men seek to rule their Women 

Humble Men seek to rule with their Women 

3) A SUGAR COATED TONGUE

Women are moved by Words, 

Women like to be wooed, it doesn't matter if she's 20 or 40, and one of the method of wooing Is WORDS. 

A Man whose mouth is unbridled, unnecessarily harsh and sarcastic will inflict damage on his woman's ego and self esteem. 

Every Man will need to be twice as good at COMPLIMENTING as he is at CRITICISM to please a Woman.  

4) SELF CONTROL

Women are blessed with words, at times she may unintentionally say some hurtful words or take some unnecessary actions, as a Man, if you do not have self control, you may end up doing something you'd regret later.

A Woman will get pregnant, and put to bed, and need to stay off sex.

A Wife will sometimes be tired, or not in the mood for sex for a little while a Husband without self control will have issues at this point.

Women and already made man

Women want husbands who are capable and willing to take charge in different areas. Even where a woman is strong, she doesn’t want to be that all the time because the idea behind marriage also involves having a spouse that is dependable.

Unfortunately, many marriages are currently in that state with others headed for that. 

Woman wakes up and realises she is no longer attracted to her husband not because she’s having her affair but because the man no longer satisfies what sparks her attraction, husband has now become just a flatmate.

The most common reason is money even though it goes beyond this. Many responsibilities within the marriage are facilitated by funds so a man that cannot provide will put a caring wife in this state eventually if he doesn’t get active about bringing results.

It is worse where he is seen as not pushing his weight.

But there are other things you don’t need money for. Tasks within the home, parenting, creating quality time, ideas and conversations etc are examples you can achieve without money but then the average husband out there is not raised to see it this way. To many, these things are done only by the ‘weak’ as they have been told. They forget that every home is unique in need.

Sometimes it’s the small things that destroy the emotions, slipping into a nonchalant space where said husband becomes used to the wife taking charge of everything. 

Known to him “my wife will always take charge”.

Unknown to him, this is the reason attraction fades away and love follows out of the marriage until the crack leads to separation and divorce.

Even the strongest of women still want a man that can take charge sometimes. There’s nothing attractive about a man who appears lazy or lax. 

But how do I get my husband to understand this? That is a conversation deeper than this text. 

-Shamseddin Giwa

SECRETS TO HAVING A STRONG RELATIONSHIP

SECRETS TO HAVING A STRONG RELATIONSHIP 💖🤷‍♀🤷‍♂

If you desire a loving and lasting relationship with your partner, you and your partner need to adopt the following habits below:

1. COMMITMENT:

Commitment is very important if you desire to have a strong relationship with your partner. You have to decide to stick with your partner and make the relationship work irrespective of the flaws your partner might have. Couples who renew their commitments everyday, in words and deed, are on their way to having a strong relationship.

2. KEEP YOUR PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE

When you put your relationship on social media, you invite the public to your relationship. Keep your private matters private. It’s a relationship between you and your partner and not between you, your partner and the public. You can share your fun dates with your partner or some nice photos together on your Facebook or Instagram app but make sure you draw the line where necessary.

3. KNOW WHEN TO LET THINGS SLIDE AND LEARN HOW TO MANAGE CONFLICTS

Finding ways to reduce the frequency of conflict in your relationship by letting go of the little things will help you build a strong relationship with your partner. Arguments are normal in a relationship but you should make sure you never insult your partner during an argument. Always listen to what your partner has to say during an argument.

4. LEARN TO LISTEN

Speaking less and listening more is important if you want to build a strong relationship with your partner. It’s important you always pay close attention to what your partner has to say. Ask your partner how his/her day went and listen to him/her talk about their day.

 5. MAKE TIME TO DATE

Spending quality time with your partner is important if you desire to build a strong relationship. Nothing substitutes for time together. No matter how busy you are, always create time to go out on dates with your partner.

6. BE TOTALLY TRANSPARENT

Partners in strong relationships have no secrets.

Marrying a man with views

Many married women found out too late, the importance of marrying a man whose views of marriage and being a husband involved them making the home the first priority.

It’s important to provide money but there’s so much more than that.

Is this a man who’d be there when you need? A man who’d be able to have conversations with you and not see your need to connect as being petty?

Is this a man who’d carry you along on all issues important?

Is this a man who’d be happy keep trying to be better for you?

Is this a man who’d value the productive time spent at home with you (and the children) as a family unit?

Is this a man whose sense of duty would be to you and the home?

These are critical things to ask. Things many of us wish we had asked.

It is evident in a man’s actions, his values. But how can you pick such a man if you don’t even know the important things to look out for?

-Shamseddin Giwa

Other things that matter

Looks - This includes facial looks, physique, complexion etc

Character: Your behaviour is critical. It includes how you talk and act. If you are well behaved, your chances are better.

Appearance: This will include how you present yourself. You may be pretty but unkempt for example. Stay sharp.

Humility: The average man wants to set up a home to lead, not one where a wife is competing with him.

Financial intelligence and shrewdness: Even where wealthy, he is unlikely to desire a wasteful woman who doesn’t understand the value of money.

Intellect: Be smart enough to support and contribute, be wise enough to not hijack the system.

Have means and direction: With deeper economic realities, a man feels safer with someone who can be a viable backup in case of any need for it. While not compulsory, it is a serious advantage.

Be domesticated: As marriage is likely to come with parenting, having a woman who is comfortable adapting to the biological and parenting needs is critical.

Be adaptable: Situations will vary from time to time, a woman that can adjust positively is a serious asset desired.

Spirituality: Even those not spiritually aligned will often favour a woman who has a solid spiritual side to her with a good balance.

A good name and profile: Obviously, nobody wants to have a wife with a poor record or with an upbringing that’s synonymous with negativity.

Age: While there are those who don’t mind, more times than not, age is a factor.

The above will result in different profiles and combinations because each man is unique but if you know the above and act on it, your chances are better. While there are more men in the world, there are more women seeking husbands meaning you are up against many. 

You can only control what you can but at least let it not be that you are missing out on suitors because you are not paying attention to the things that matter.

-Shamseddin Giwa