Dear men,
Before you get married to a woman, try to live alone. Rent an apartment. Pay your rent yourself. Buy a bed and a mattress. Buy a TV. Most importantly, buy pots, a gas cooker or stove, and all the utensils you will need in the kitchen. Learn to cook. Feed yourself.
Can you come back home from work and stay alone in your house without going out to hang out with friends? Can you be comfortable with your own presence?
Can you sit in your house alone, especially during weekends, and watch your football matches and still feel happy?
Can you say your prayers on your own without anyone reminding you or waking you up? Can you wash your clothes, mop your house, and make your bed?
Can you cook your food and eat without going out to buy already-made food?
Ask yourself!
As a married man, you cannot sincerely appreciate your wife’s ability to take care of the house when you don’t have any experience in taking care of your house.
You cannot appreciate what it means to cook fresh food every day when all you did when you were single was buy cooked food or asked someone to cook for you.
In most tertiary institutions, young men tend to date girls so that they will have someone that will be coming over to their houses to cook for them, and then they’d have sex.
Most young girls, on the other hand, date guys so that they will have someone that will be giving them money to buy whatever they need, and then they’d have sex.
Amongst male friends, once one of them gets a girlfriend, the friends would all believe that the girl would be coming over, at least on weekends, to cook, wash and clean the house. For them, that is the default duty of a girlfriend.
Among female friends, once one of them is dating, they would all believe that she won't lack anything material, like phones, airtime, money for hair, and her general upkeep. For them, that is the mark of having a boyfriend.
I don’t think you need me to tell you how stupid and childish such mindset on dating is.
So, I ask you again, can you stay for weeks, months, or a year, as a man without bringing women into your house to sleep with, women you know you won’t marry?
Don’t claim to have self-discipline until you have experienced opportunities and come out unscathed.
You know it’s one thing to be claiming virgin when you have not gotten the opportunity or the tempting environment like having a car, a good house, staying alone, and having some cash. It is another thing to remain pure despite having all the opportunities and temptations.
If you fall under the category of holy people because you’ve not had opportunities and temptations, you are still a child.
Learn this from me; it is one thing to get married to someone, it is another to get married to yourself.
Getting married to yourself involves being at home with yourself. It also means being happy by yourself, being able to look after yourself, being able to have self-control and understanding that when you set a rule for yourself and break it, you are cheating on yourself.
It is not an easy thing. This is where the real test of who you are comes out. If you are not married to yourself, it will be a disaster getting married to another.
. . . .Excerpt from my forthcoming book “I DO”.
Note: we are putting the finishing touches on this wonderful book. Once everything is sorted out, I will tell you how to preorder.
#PurestPurity
#FacebookTelevision
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