Saint. MARTHA, MARY AND LAZARUS

SAINTS MARTHA, MARY AND LAZARUS  

Among Jesus’ closest friends, at whose home he delighted in being a guest were the two Bethany sisters, Martha and Mary, and their brother Lazarus. Martha generously offered him hospitality, Mary listened attentively to his words and Lazarus promptly emerged from the tomb of the command of the one who humiliated death. John says, “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (11:5) - it was with them that he spent the last few days before the Passion. The Church today honours Martha, Mary and Lazarus 

Martha, presumably the eldest, was ever “busy about much serving”, anxious as ever about her guest’s comfort. She has thus become the prototype of the activist Christian who seeks cooperation even in terms of hospitality, that oldest of Christian virtues, while Mary has come to be regarded as the symbol of the contemplative life. Yet, Martha was obviously also a woman of deep faith with unbounded trust in the Lord’s divine power— “If you had been here, Lord, my brother would not have died! But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask of him” (Jn 11:21-22). 

It was to Martha that Jesus declared: “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die”—words uttered at every Christian burial. Her counter-declaration, however, is a classic example of a thriving faith: “Yes Lord! I do believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was to come into the world” (Jn 11:25-27).

Reflection: “The essential is certainly that, in the world as it is, the Lord’s disciples should be channels of God’s salvific action, by being ceaselessly purified, enlightened and comforted by frequently approaching the God of tenderness and pity” (Pope Saint John Paul II).

7 Habits That Turn Boys into Men

Habit 1: Taking Responsibility

- Real men understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and decisions.

- This habit involves owning up to consequences, working to make amends, and facing challenges head-on.

- By taking responsibility, men build credibility and trust with others, fostering maturity and accountability.

Habit 2: Developing Self-Discipline

- Self-discipline is a cornerstone habit that men cultivate in all areas of life.

- They set clear goals, establish effective routines, and prioritize long-term benefits over short-term pleasures.

- By mastering self-discipline, men develop resilience, stay focused, and make consistent progress toward their aspirations.

Habit 3: Seeking Continuous Growth

- Men are committed to personal growth and lifelong learning.

- They actively seek new knowledge, skills, and experiences, embracing challenges and stepping out of their comfort zones.

- This habit includes reading, attending workshops, learning new hobbies, or seeking mentorship.

Habit 4: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

- Emotional intelligence is crucial for building strong relationships.

- Men develop self-awareness, regulate their emotions, and empathize with others.

- Effective communication and mature conflict resolution are key aspects of this habit.

Habit 5: Showing Respect

- Real men treat others with respect, regardless of background or status.

- They listen attentively, value different perspectives, and treat everyone with dignity.

- Showing respect involves recognizing the inherent worth of every individual.

Habit 6: Practicing Integrity

- Integrity involves upholding high moral and ethical standards.

- Men who practice integrity act with honesty, honor, and consistency in their personal and professional lives.

- This habit builds a reputation of reliability and respect.

Habit 7: Embracing Leadership

- Leadership is about taking initiative and inspiring others.

- Men who embrace leadership make decisions confidently, take responsibility for their outcomes, and motivate those around them.

- They lead by example, demonstrating the behaviors and attitudes they wish to see in others.

In summary, these seven habits are foundational for transforming boys into men. By cultivating these habits, men enhance their own lives and contribute positively to their surroundings, leading to personal and professional success...

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9 DANGEROUS SEX YOU MUST NEVER HAVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Sex is lawful in marriage, it’s one of the rights of married couples in the family. But I need to let you know that, there are some forms of sex you must never have in your family. They are: 9 SEX YOU MUST NEVER HAVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

1.BROWN SEX: Sex is called brown if you have it with anyone that is not your spouse. It’s known as adultery, affairs or infidelity . It easily destroys marriage, avoid it. 

2.YELLOW SEX: This is the kind of sex that happens between a couple who always struggle to sleep together. They fight often fight about sex  and it has turn to a bone of contention in their marriage instead of being a tool of intimacy and love.

3.RED SEX: This a sexless marriage. Couples in it hardly make love because bitterness in marriage has taken over to the level of war.So, they hardly sleep together.

4. NECESSITY SEX: I met a couple recently, who have not been in talking term for Months but they still sleep together regularly because they need Children. They will just sleep together inside darkness, roll to the other side and sleep off but continue their fight the second day, this is a necessity Sex.

5. GRUDGE MATCH: This is the kind of sex where couple sleep together without love or affection, they do it without any affection or desire. They only have sex as a responsibility in marriage or to give peace a chance. This is very common among wives. 

6.BABY SEX: This is when couples sleep together only when they need sex. They believe sex is not for love or pleasure ,it should only happen when baby is needed, this is very wrong. Sex should bring couple together and should be done regularly and joyfully.

7.FRIDGE SEX: This is also known as “No Action sex”. This involves husband and wife sleeping together but cold or when a “Fridge” action is displayed by the wife. That is, she is never involve; only lie down like a log of wood.It’s a bad example of sex in Marriage .Wives should be involve when their husbands sleeps with them.

8.BARTER SEX: This involves “trade by barter” “Money for hands, back for ground”. In this kind of sex, the woman is fond of giving conditions before she will allow her husband to sleep with her, this is terrible. 

9.CALENDAR SEX: This involves picking a day in the week or Month when sex can only take place. Some women are fond of telling their husbands the day in the week or month they will be ready for sex. This is also wrong in Marriage.Sex should be spontaneous, it can happen any day and any time behind the four walls, that is how sex in Marriage should be...

WHEN THE GAME IS OVER.....WE SHALL ALL RETURN HOME.

WHEN THE GAME IS OVER....WE SHALL ALL RETURN HOME.

A boy was sent by his father to urgently buy him food from a restaurant. On his way going, he was in a hurry because of the urgency of the assignment.

However, on his way back, he passed where his mates were playing football. He slowed down, began to watch the game, gradually slowing down until he finally stopped. He watched for a while and got carried away, he became interested, and indicated his interest in playing, he was invited.

He left the food in the care of some unknown people and entered the field. He forgot the assignment completely and played his heart out. He became the man of the match, dribbled opponents, created chances, scored goals and changed the face of the entire game.

When night came, the owner of the ball picked it up. It was time for everyone to go home; to go back to their parents, the game was over!

It now dawned on the boy after everyone had left that he had actually been sent to buy food by his hungry father. He went to where he kept the food, it had already been eaten by goats and dogs, "but I kept this food with some guys here a moment ago." He said.

He picked the plates, but was no longer happy, all the excitement of the game disappeared, the people clapping for him were all gone, the opponents he was playing against were all gone, the ball itself was gone, time was gone, those selling food were gone, he couldn't buy another!

Regrets took over him, he sluggishly walked home, with tears of sorrow and regrets whilst hiding in the dark.

When people saw him, they asked him why he was crying and hiding in the dark with empty plates! He had left with clean plates full of excitement, but returned with same empty plates, so dirty and stained !

When they asked him "Why he couldn't go home, he said his father will beat him". He knew the implications of a wasted time. So sad, too late.

Hear this: We have a home and a Father to return to at the end of life's journey when all is said and done.

Don't be distracted, don't rejoice when people are clapping for you while doing the wrong things, they won't be there when you are to give an account.

Avoid Distractions, we are sent here for an assignment, the Father is waiting for us, this ball we are busy playing, when night comes, the owner will pick it, the crowd will disappear, we'll be left alone to go back and give a report to our Maker. What will you tell Him ?

Think about it.

The Prophet Mohammed and the argument of him being the "Comforter"

The Prophet Mohammed and the argument of him being the "Comforter"

"Fr Kelvin, I watched a video where a Muslim scholar was using some passages of John's gospel to justify that what we Christians consider as the Holy Spirit is actually the prophet Mohammed. Can you help clarify?"

My response:

Okay, I get that always especially working in a country dominated by Muslims. Let me give you a clue to answering them.

1. They will often start by quoting John 16:7 which says:

"Still, I am telling you the truth: it is for your own good that I am going, because unless I go, the Paraclete (comforter) will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you."

If they quote it and conclude that the comforter or Paraclete that Jesus was referring to is Mohammed, don't argue with them, just accept it for the sake of argument.

Then, gently underline this line in the verse for them:

 "But if I go, I WILL SEND HIM to you"

Respectfully tell them that by accepting that passage, they have agreed that Jesus was the one who sent Mohammed. So invariably, if Mohammed is a prophet of God, then it means Jesus is God because he needs to be God to be able to send a prophet.

2. They will also quote John 15:26 ignorantly:

 

"When the Paraclete (comforter) comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who issues from the Father, he will be my witness."

You can use the same argument as in point number 1. But let me simplify it more and add some flesh to it. Again, do not shout, just ask them the following questions calmly:

(a) From the passage, who is the comforter according to Islam?

(The answer is Mohammed)

(b) Ask them, from the passage, who is the one sending the Comforter 

Ans: if they are objective, they will answer Jesus.

(c) Then ask them, who is the one that sent Muhammad?

(Ans: Those who have seen your logic at this point will be silent. Those who have not, or have, but thought they are smart but yet to accept how ignorant they are will say Allah.)

(d) Quote this line of that verse for them and insist on it: "Whom I SHALL SEND to you from the Father". Who is sending the Comforter here?

(And: the sincere ones will answer Jesus)

(e) If they argue that the comforter is from the Father as indicated in the passage, ask them if their Allah is a Father.

Any true Muslim will keep quiet at this point because Allah in their teaching is not a Father to anyone. Muslims don't refer to God as a Father. 

3. Then if they quote John 14:16-17.

"I shall ask the Father, and he will give you another Paraclete to be with you for ever,

[17]the Spirit of truth whom the world can never accept since it neither sees nor knows him; but you know him, because he is with you, he is in you."

Use it as an opportunity to teach them the following:

 a.  Jesus was never referring to Mohammad, in fact, to even try to use the passages and claim it is referring to Mohammad is to show gross ignorance, deceit, and foolishness at the same time.

 b. Underline this line for them: "But you know him, because he is with you, he is in you." 

Ask them if Mohammed pre-existed... let them also tell you why Jesus will say that the disciples know him and he is with them since according to them, it is Mohammed that the passage is talking about.

Fr Kelvin

#PurestPurity

HOW TO FIRE UP YOUR SEX LIFE

1. Make sure your spouse never doubts your faithfulness. The number one impediment to a healthy sex life is the thought of infidelity 

2. Treat each other well when sex is not the agenda. A healthy sex life starts when you two are fully dressed, away from the bedroom

3. Do cheeky and naughty stuff together. Grab her butt when she least expects it, pass your hand on his penis, rub each other on the nipples without warning

4. Call it love making, don't call it having sex. That gives it a heart

5. Avoid pornography. That makes you focus on each other and not depend on sounds and images from strangers to arouse you. It also makes you both feel special and heightens pure pleasure

6. Flirt together throughout the day. Send each other naughty messages. Turn each other on

7. Work on your look. Invest in lingerie, change your dressing to avoid monotony, stimulate visually

8. Use suggestive postures. Dance for and on your spouse. Lap dance, twerk, kata kiuno. Give each other an exclusive show

9. Maintain hygiene. Cleanliness will make you both look forward to licking, touching and love making. Put on attractive scents

10. Have bedroom make overs. Switch up the look in your bedroom from time to time. Change your environment. Avoid monotony

11. Focus on romance and sensuality. Talk heart to heart, cuddle, please each other, listen, do sweet things. Don't make the goal be an orgasm, make the goal be to make each other feel loved

12. Take it outside the bedroom. Don't make love only in the bedroom, do it in other rooms, book a hotel room, take a vacation, create new experiences

13. Take your time. Don't rush through love making unless it's a quickie. Make it special

14. Know that tomorrow is another day. Don't put pressure on yourselves incase the orgasm today comes too quickly or doesn't come at all. Sex is not a goal to score, lovemaking is about intimacy

15. Make out more. Kiss, touch, stroke, nibble on the ear lobe and neck, gently blow on each other if that brings pleasure. Focus not just on what is between the legs

16. Don't talk about your sexual struggles and get stuck there. Act, no lamenting. Going on and on about how boring or little sex you are having discourages the mind and sex starts in the mind

17. Recap on how great the love making was. Talk about the sensations you made each other feel. This will boost your confidence and help you both know what things to keep on doing to give each other pleasure 

© Dayan Masinde 

In the love book called GOOD SEX BAD SEX, I reveal how to get the most out of intimacy and also show what happens when you abuse, misuse or use sex wrongly.

If you purchase the book and also wish to receive the SEX QUIZ FOR HUSBANDS and SEX QUIZ FOR WIVES. kindly text the word QUIZ together with your email address upon purchase.

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GET A COPY OF THE LOVE BOOK, "GOOD SEX BAD SEX", WRITTEN BY DAYAN MASINDE

STEP 1: MPESA Ksh. 300 to 0721590954

STEP 2: Text your email address to 0721590954

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STEP 4: Download and read on phone/computer

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

18 COSTLY MISTAKES THAT HUSBANDS MAKE

1. WORKING SO HARD AT YOUR JOB/BUSINESS BUT NOT IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Men, your company, your career, and your business are growing and flourishing because you lead them; your marriage will grow and flourish when you lead it and dedicate time to it.

2. THINKING THAT FLIRTING WITH OTHER WOMEN IS NOT CHEATING

You may not physically sleep with other women, but emotionally cheating is also unfaithfulness. Receiving nude images and having phone intimacy with other women is also cheating. Talking suggestively and attracting temptations is also cheating. If you are a flirt, flirt with your wife. If you claim your wife is too rigid, treat her well, and she will respond to your kinky ways. She also wants intimate pleasure and to feel wanted.

3. BEING GENEROUS OUTSIDE AND STINGY AT HOME

Don't be the husband who quickly says yes when other people ask for help, for your time and your money, but stingy to your wife and child/children. Your family comes first. Don't go to harambees contributing large sums, helping out people because you want to have a good public image yet to your family you deprive and deny.

4. THINKING THAT SHOWING LOVE IS AN UNMANLY THING

When you were dating and courting, you were romantic and thoughtful; but now that you are married, you wrongly think showing love is beneath you. If you truly love your wife, tell her, she needs to hear it. Warm her heart. Romance her. Date your wife. Her being a wife doesn't mean she doesn't need to feel loved. Real men show their love. God is a loving God. If God doesn't find showing love as something beneath Him, who are you to shun showing affection yet you are created in the image of God?

5. THROWING MONEY AND GIFTS AT PROBLEMS

When your wife and kids get concerned about you spending much time away from home, when you are told you are not doing what you are supposed to; change, improve. Don't throw money and gifts at them to silence them. They want your time and presence, not lifeless things.

6. ADMIRING OTHER WOMEN MORE THAN YOUR WIFE

If you find other women better looking than your wife, work on your wife. Nourish her with compliments, buy her clothes you think she'd look good in, take her shopping, pamper her, love her up till she glows. Go to the gym with her. Jog with her.

7. WASTING YOUR FAMILY MONEY ON MEANINGLESS THINGS

Stop wasting your family money on alcohol, drugs, prostitutes, strippers, and addictions. Invest that money in your family, the future of your child/children. Even if you are a super wealthy man, you can find other ways to have fun that contributes positively to your family life. You can channel your money into more honorable things like supporting your parents, your siblings, the less fortunate, and the needs of society. You don't have to be unfaithful and reckless just because you have lots of money.

8. JUSTIFYING PORNOGRAPHY

Pornography is lusting after other women on videos and images. This is actually cheating because you are desiring other women, not your wife. This also lays the ground for future acts of unfaithfulness. Because you see no harm in desiring strange women on videos and pictures, soon you will see no harm in desiring women in the streets, at work, in your neighborhood; then you might actually sleep with another woman.

9. THINKING THAT BEING THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY MEANS BEING A DICTATOR

This is what makes some husbands beat up their wives, abuse them, sit on them, and hinder their progress. Your wife is not your junior but your partner, she is one with you. Hurting her is hurting you. She is not your competitor, celebrate her progress. Being head doesn't mean your word is law or that you treat your wife as a slave. In fact, because you are the head you should serve more, give more and humble yourself to make sure your wife and child/children are doing well.

10. IGNORING YOUR WIFE'S ADVICE

Don't hide things from your wife. Engage her in making family decisions, you are stronger when you move as a team. Your wife has sharp instincts and she will help you navigate through life's issues.

11. BEING TOO PROUD TO SAY SORRY OR TO LISTEN

You are capable of doing wrong, and when you do wrong, admit it. Problems don't get solved when you deny them. You are not perfect. Learn to say sorry to your wife and child/children. By refusing to say sorry, you are showing your wife you are insensitive and that will hurt her and damage the mood at home. Sometimes all a woman needs is for you to say, "I am sorry." Be open to learning and being corrected. Far too many men are ruining their homes because of pride.

12. ABANDONING YOUR SPIRITUAL ROLE

You are to lead your family, even spiritually. Don't neglect this role and leave it for your wife alone. Your wife needs your prayers, she needs you to walk with her in God. Your child/children need to see you living for God, praying, and teaching them about God. You say you want a Godly household, well, be an actively Godly husband and father.

13. TAKING YOUR JOB TITLE HOME

Whether you are a C.E.O, Manager, Director, or an award-winning professional, once you get home or are with your wife and family, put away your title. Play your role as husband and father. Don't treat your wife and children like subordinates, lording over them. The home is a place of love, not a place for orders, restrictions, pressure, and intimidation.

14. HIDING YOUR FAILURES

In case things don't go well, you get fired, you get retrenched, or you make a bad decision; share it with your wife, don't hide it trying to project a fake image of 'everything is alright'. Your wife is there for you, she will walk with you. Share with her your weaknesses and failures. Love will always win.

15. WORRYING MORE ABOUT WHAT YOUR MALE FRIENDS OR PARENTS THINK THAN PLEASING YOUR FAMILY

Don't let your friends or parents run your marriage. Don't let your friends negatively influence you by mocking you that you are being sat on by your wife or wrongly advise you to be tough on your wife just to prove you are man enough. A true friend is a friend to your marriage. Your parents might mean well but might drive a wedge between you and your wife. You left your father and mother to be one with your wife. Defend your home.

16. BEING INTIMATELY SELFISH

Your wife has intimate needs too. Don't just seek your own gratification and then sleep or leave her unsatisfied. Fulfill her physically. Kiss her, touch her, embrace her, massage her, stimulate her, explore her body, evoke her passion, make her tremble, give her every sensual pleasure. She is devoted to you, and no other can fulfill this role like you can. Make sure she's fulfilled, and she'll reciprocate. Your responsibility is to arouse her and satisfy her intimately. A passionately engaged wife is a content wife and fosters a harmonious home. Make love to her.

17. LETTING HER BE THE PARENT ALONE

When she gets pregnant, don't abandon her. Walk with her as she carries your child. After birth, be proactive in teaching, mentoring, and guiding your child/children. Stop the nonsense of when the child does wrong, the child is your wife's; when the child does well, you are a proud father.

18. FAILING TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN FOR YOUR SUCCESSION

When you start a business, involve your child/children. Let your wife know of your properties, assets, and ventures. Prepare your children's future. Write a will. Share information, don't keep things in the dark. Too much unnecessary confusion plagues families because of lack of preparation in your marriage.

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THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR CHILD

THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR CHILD

1. QUALITY TIME

Your presence is needed. Provision is also in providing time

2. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Show your child no judgment, no rejection or that he/she has to do certain things to earn your love. Don't compare your child with others

3. SPACE TO GROW

Allow your child to grow into the phases of life. Don't expect your child to reason like you yet you have more experience. Don't rob your child his/her childhood or teenagehood. Let your child curve his/her own identity 

4. A STABLE HOME

Nothing stresses a child more than a home where mom and dad are in turmoil; or where a single parent is erratic and abusive. Give your child a safe haven

5. UNITY

Parent together as a couple. Show your child teamwork

6. DISPLAY OF SUPPORT 

Deliberately do things to show support such as cheering on, giving of success cards, bragging about your child in public, being present in landmark moments and affirming your child

7. A VISION

Guide your child into having a vision. A vision is your child's why. Why go to school, why work hard, why pursue goals? Don't just tell your child what to do, help him/her get their personal why

8. ENCOURAGEMENT

Be your child's biggest cheerleader. When he/she falls, help the child up. Be your child's inspiration

9. DISCERNMENT 

Cultivate a value system in your child so that he/she can choose what is right even in moments you are not around

10. DISCIPLINE

Teach your child self-control, how to stay the course. Self-control is a muscle, the more your child practice it, the better your child becomes at it

11. A GOOD EDUCATION

Take your child to the best schools you can afford, if you are able to get a sponsorship, do it. Buy books and share content that builds, if you give your child a digital device, direct your child to sites that lead to growth. Make learning fun. Expose your child to different ideas through travel, push boundaries.

HOLD WHAT IS YOURS

HOLD WHAT IS YOURS

1. No one else should flirt with your spouse; so flirt with him/her in the most seductive and creative of ways

2. No one else should touch your spouse intimately; so touch him/her like you know what you have is special and you are proud of it

3. No one else knows your spouse's secrets like you do; so hold your spouse safely, protecting valuable information

4. No one else knows your spouse better than you; so use that information to love him/her better

5. No one else has unrestricted access to your spouse; so unapologetically spend time with him/her, make plans

6. No one else is ready to please you but your spouse; so make your requests known, make your spouse feel needed

7. No one else you are one with; so be involved in what concerns your spouse, whatever affects him/her affects you too

8. No one else has the green light to kiss or spank your spouse; go on, do it

9. No one else is growing old with you; make fond memories while you both are still alive 

10. No one else is meant to make love to your spouse; so give your spouse the most amazing sexual experience

Your spouse shouldn't be tempted to get from another what only you should be giving. Don't just be faithful, enjoy faithfulness 

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

4 KEYS TO RELATING CORDIALLY WITH A WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

4 KEYS TO RELATING CORDIALLY WITH A WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE

1) PATIENCE

Women are unique, created very differently from Men.

They are EMOTIONAL beings, things that you as a man may not see as serious can make a Woman cry. 

She can be happy and cry

She can be sad and still cry 

You'd need patience to deal with her EMOTIONS and how she displays them, you may not understand them, just be there for her. 

Another thing you'll need patience for when relating with a woman is MOOD SWINGS, 

Mood swings differ from woman to woman, even the average Woman's mood swing can be quite challenging for the Man who is a LOGICAL being, one minute she's happy, the next minute, she's not in the mood, in such a case, you just need to be patient with her and react lovingly

2) HUMILITY

A Woman will sometimes give her Man orders, only a humble Man will see no problem in that. 

A Woman will sometimes deserve/demand an apology from her spouse, sometimes even when he's not the one at fault, only a humble Man will apologize, whether he is wrong or right. 

Proud Men seek to rule their Women 

Humble Men seek to rule with their Women 

3) A SUGAR COATED TONGUE

Women are moved by Words, 

Women like to be wooed, it doesn't matter if she's 20 or 40, and one of the method of wooing Is WORDS. 

A Man whose mouth is unbridled, unnecessarily harsh and sarcastic will inflict damage on his woman's ego and self esteem. 

Every Man will need to be twice as good at COMPLIMENTING as he is at CRITICISM to please a Woman.  

4) SELF CONTROL

Women are blessed with words, at times she may unintentionally say some hurtful words or take some unnecessary actions, as a Man, if you do not have self control, you may end up doing something you'd regret later.

A Woman will get pregnant, and put to bed, and need to stay off sex.

A Wife will sometimes be tired, or not in the mood for sex for a little while a Husband without self control will have issues at this point.

Women and already made man

Women want husbands who are capable and willing to take charge in different areas. Even where a woman is strong, she doesn’t want to be that all the time because the idea behind marriage also involves having a spouse that is dependable.

Unfortunately, many marriages are currently in that state with others headed for that. 

Woman wakes up and realises she is no longer attracted to her husband not because she’s having her affair but because the man no longer satisfies what sparks her attraction, husband has now become just a flatmate.

The most common reason is money even though it goes beyond this. Many responsibilities within the marriage are facilitated by funds so a man that cannot provide will put a caring wife in this state eventually if he doesn’t get active about bringing results.

It is worse where he is seen as not pushing his weight.

But there are other things you don’t need money for. Tasks within the home, parenting, creating quality time, ideas and conversations etc are examples you can achieve without money but then the average husband out there is not raised to see it this way. To many, these things are done only by the ‘weak’ as they have been told. They forget that every home is unique in need.

Sometimes it’s the small things that destroy the emotions, slipping into a nonchalant space where said husband becomes used to the wife taking charge of everything. 

Known to him “my wife will always take charge”.

Unknown to him, this is the reason attraction fades away and love follows out of the marriage until the crack leads to separation and divorce.

Even the strongest of women still want a man that can take charge sometimes. There’s nothing attractive about a man who appears lazy or lax. 

But how do I get my husband to understand this? That is a conversation deeper than this text. 

-Shamseddin Giwa

SECRETS TO HAVING A STRONG RELATIONSHIP

SECRETS TO HAVING A STRONG RELATIONSHIP 💖🤷‍♀🤷‍♂

If you desire a loving and lasting relationship with your partner, you and your partner need to adopt the following habits below:

1. COMMITMENT:

Commitment is very important if you desire to have a strong relationship with your partner. You have to decide to stick with your partner and make the relationship work irrespective of the flaws your partner might have. Couples who renew their commitments everyday, in words and deed, are on their way to having a strong relationship.

2. KEEP YOUR PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE

When you put your relationship on social media, you invite the public to your relationship. Keep your private matters private. It’s a relationship between you and your partner and not between you, your partner and the public. You can share your fun dates with your partner or some nice photos together on your Facebook or Instagram app but make sure you draw the line where necessary.

3. KNOW WHEN TO LET THINGS SLIDE AND LEARN HOW TO MANAGE CONFLICTS

Finding ways to reduce the frequency of conflict in your relationship by letting go of the little things will help you build a strong relationship with your partner. Arguments are normal in a relationship but you should make sure you never insult your partner during an argument. Always listen to what your partner has to say during an argument.

4. LEARN TO LISTEN

Speaking less and listening more is important if you want to build a strong relationship with your partner. It’s important you always pay close attention to what your partner has to say. Ask your partner how his/her day went and listen to him/her talk about their day.

 5. MAKE TIME TO DATE

Spending quality time with your partner is important if you desire to build a strong relationship. Nothing substitutes for time together. No matter how busy you are, always create time to go out on dates with your partner.

6. BE TOTALLY TRANSPARENT

Partners in strong relationships have no secrets.

Marrying a man with views

Many married women found out too late, the importance of marrying a man whose views of marriage and being a husband involved them making the home the first priority.

It’s important to provide money but there’s so much more than that.

Is this a man who’d be there when you need? A man who’d be able to have conversations with you and not see your need to connect as being petty?

Is this a man who’d carry you along on all issues important?

Is this a man who’d be happy keep trying to be better for you?

Is this a man who’d value the productive time spent at home with you (and the children) as a family unit?

Is this a man whose sense of duty would be to you and the home?

These are critical things to ask. Things many of us wish we had asked.

It is evident in a man’s actions, his values. But how can you pick such a man if you don’t even know the important things to look out for?

-Shamseddin Giwa

Other things that matter

Looks - This includes facial looks, physique, complexion etc

Character: Your behaviour is critical. It includes how you talk and act. If you are well behaved, your chances are better.

Appearance: This will include how you present yourself. You may be pretty but unkempt for example. Stay sharp.

Humility: The average man wants to set up a home to lead, not one where a wife is competing with him.

Financial intelligence and shrewdness: Even where wealthy, he is unlikely to desire a wasteful woman who doesn’t understand the value of money.

Intellect: Be smart enough to support and contribute, be wise enough to not hijack the system.

Have means and direction: With deeper economic realities, a man feels safer with someone who can be a viable backup in case of any need for it. While not compulsory, it is a serious advantage.

Be domesticated: As marriage is likely to come with parenting, having a woman who is comfortable adapting to the biological and parenting needs is critical.

Be adaptable: Situations will vary from time to time, a woman that can adjust positively is a serious asset desired.

Spirituality: Even those not spiritually aligned will often favour a woman who has a solid spiritual side to her with a good balance.

A good name and profile: Obviously, nobody wants to have a wife with a poor record or with an upbringing that’s synonymous with negativity.

Age: While there are those who don’t mind, more times than not, age is a factor.

The above will result in different profiles and combinations because each man is unique but if you know the above and act on it, your chances are better. While there are more men in the world, there are more women seeking husbands meaning you are up against many. 

You can only control what you can but at least let it not be that you are missing out on suitors because you are not paying attention to the things that matter.

-Shamseddin Giwa

A giver can’t be with a taker

A giver can’t be with a taker. They’ll allow you to give to them until you have nothing left to give while rarely ever giving to you because they know that’s just who you are, giving genuinely makes you happy. They don’t even think to include you in any activities in their life but once you think of them and want to include them, they are there. If you are a giver, don’t ever let a taker take advantage of you like that. Go where your energy is reciprocated. Many of you will have this realization soon about someone in your life. It’s not about wanting anything back when you give because you give without ever expecting anything in return but realizing that all they ever really did was take from you. Reciprocation was never in their mind when it came to you.

The truth about a man.

Just because you get thousands of likes on your profile picture will not keep a man. 

Being honest about things in your past will not keep a man. 

Being faithful and loyal since day one doesn't keep a man. 

Treating a man better than he's ever been treated before doesn't keep a man. 

Making an effort every single day to make sure he knows you truly care will not keep a man. 

Giving him all of your time that you can spare, doesn't keep a man. 

You could have the best intentions in the world and could have the most sincere feelings, and you could be the most perfect woman in existence and you still wouldn't be able to keep a man. 

The only way to keep a man is if that man wants to be kept by you. 

With a man, you can tell he wants to be kept when the relationship gets very hard and he does everything to fight for you. 

A man only fights for a woman he wants to belong to, so if he isn't fighting for you when things get hard, then that means he doesn't want to be kept by you anymore. 

Don't hold on to a man who doesn't want to be kept by you. 

You're not giving up on him. It's quite the opposite. 

It's him who gave up on you, and it's you who shouldn't waste any more of your time than you already have. 

Know when it's time to let go, know when it's time to walk away, and know when it's time for him to be unkept. 

~ Cody Bret

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN THE WRONG RELATIONSHIP

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN THE WRONG RELATIONSHIP – avoid them and safe your life!!!

Good or bad, every relationship has indicators. One common indicator in every wrong relationship is that: 

You cannot be in a wrong relationship and not know.

Surprised? 

As confusing as that sounds, it’s really true. Deep down within you, down, down somewhere there, you will inevitably have that nudging within you that there is something wrong with that relationship.

Here is a list of signs that show that you are in a wrong relationship.

1. YOU ARE NOT YOUR REAL SELF

A wrong relationship will squeeze you up. It sucks also. It will always attempt to make you to adapt to the other person without a corresponding demand on them as well for change and adaptation. You become a shadow of your real self – always trying to be who you are not in order to make someone else accept you, love you, validate and eventually marry you. That is not love. That is a cage, a lifelong one. Get out of it now before it is too late.

2. YOU ARE FULL OF SELF DOUBT

A situation where you aren’t sure of anything. I mean, there are no inner guarantees and assurances within you that everything will be alright. Even when you now seem to be sure, that assurance is short lived – it soon fizzles out into outer space and you are back to square one. You are not always sure about the tomorrow of that relationship. It seems to be looking good today, but you have a feeling everything might soon go south for both of you. 

3. IT BRINGS VITAL RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE TO A CLOSE 

There are vital relationships in your life before this lover boy, lover girl came on board your life. Relationships with parents, siblings, mentors, business partners etc. I am talking about relationships upon which your life has been premised before he/she came. Relationships that have added colour and balance to your life. Relationships without which your whole essence is not in view. If those kinds of relationships come to an end, wahala dey

5 WAYS TO AVOID WASTING A LADY'S TIME

1) BE SURE BEFORE YOU ASK HER OUT 

It's very terrible to see a Brother in a Relationship, and when you ask him what he wants from the Lady and the Relationship, he can't give you a straight answer..

Which one is "I'm still thinking about it"

Thinking about it, on top 2 years old Relationship? 

Be sure about her Ethnicity/Religion and how your family will welcome that first..

Be sure about your Genotype compatibility first. 

Watch, Look at everything First, Physical, Social, Financial, Spiritual and otherwise. 

Pray (Get your conviction)

Before you now ask a lady out, otherwise, you may end up wasting her time.. 

2) BE HONEST. (DON'T GIVE HER FALSE HOPE)  

I counseled a lady some months back, uncle wasted her 2 years and was apologizing, will apology bring back her 2 years?

 His Mother never liked the lady, but he kept assuring her that he could do something, that he would marry her, so she waited, in the end, he succumbed to his Mother and the lady was left to bite the dust. 

Don't make Promises you can't keep.

3) LEAVE HER BODY OUT OF IT. 

Yes Sir, don't go there at all.

Sex would complicate issues. Without sex, your brain and heart will process what they want from her faster and do so unbiasely. 

4) AVOID UNREALISTIC GOALS

I must buy a Car First

I must build a house first.

"I must do this, I must do that... " and she will enter Menopause, you will now be saying she's now too old for you, you want someone younger to marry. Fear God oh. 

5) AVOID LONG COURTSHIP

Don't put a ring on a lady's finger when you are not ready to Marry her in a few months time, maximum a Year. Make God no vex for you.

Don't make any Lady Lord of the Rings. If you aren't ready, clear road for those that are ready. 

*******

(c) Musa Gift

WHY KISSING IS IMPORTANT IN MARRIAGE

1. It reminds your spouse he/she is your lover, not just a parent to the children you have

2. Kissing when you wake up and when you sleep make you both start and end the day right

3. Kissing communicates to your spouse that there is still warmth in the marriage. When a couple is drifting apart, one of the first things to suffer is kissing

4. Kissing is part of making out. Yes, married couples should also make out. Making out is the grabbing of butt, fondling of breasts, rubbing of the tip of the penis, passionately hugging, touching up even when fully clothed; as you kiss deeply - without necessarily making love

5. Kissing welcomes you to each other when you meet each other at home or outside after some hours of being a part

6. Kissing says "I love you"

7. Kissing promotes emotional intimacy. Conversations become more heartfelt when a couple embraces kissing. You bond better

8. Kissing promotes spiritual intimacy. When a couple kisses after praying to say "Amen", they value praying together more

9. Kissing releases the tension and a couple gets to have difficult conversations in a relaxed atmosphere. Imagine talking heavy stuff with random kisses

10. Kissing makes your spouse feel wanted and desired

11. Kissing heightens sexual intimacy as foreplay

12. Kissing is an activity you do exclusively that makes you both feel special

Sometimes all your spouse wants is for you to shut up and kiss him/her

© Dayan Masinde

FALSE PROPHETS

Matthew 7:15 "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."   

Not everyone who calls on God is a Child of God. 

Never be in a hurry to trust someone because they carry a religious ambience around them

Wearing Suit is not Holiness 

Long Skirt is not Righteousness 

There are decently dressed witches. 

Not everyone you meet in church is a Christian, the church is like a Hospital, not everyone there is a Doctor, some are psychiatric patients 

Don't fall for Gifts

He can Prophesy, a person can prophesy and still have a wicked heart. 

They can speak in tongues in prayer meetings and be neck deep in fornication. . 

Don't fall for charisma alone. 

Just because he is a Youth leader in church, She is coordinating the Sisters fellowship, these doesn't count for righteousness 

Don't fall for social media razzmatazz.

Some of the Social media pastors and advocates of sexual Purity and Sister's on fire are something else in their closets, 

Get to know the person well enough before you get serious with them. 

FRIENDSHIP FIRST 

Check out their CHARACTER not CONTAINER 

Check out their FRUITS not GIFTS 

Check out their ACTIONS not their WORDS  

Watch and Pray.

Do not ignore Red flags because of a Person's flashy appearance and religious appeal.

. 

. 

Matthew 24:11 "And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many."

May You not be deceived into a Relationship that will lead to regrets.

(c) Musa Gift

THE FIFTEEN RULES OF MARRIAGE

1. Before you see the wrong in your spouse, see also your wrong. It makes you fair and balanced 

2. Before you correct your spouse, appreciate your spouse. It makes your correction better received 

3. Before you accuse your spouse of something, have concrete proof. Too many people are accusing their spouse falsely based on feelings, suspicion and insecurities. If you have questions, ask without forming conclusions 

4. Before you claim your spouse is distant, check if you have pushed him/her away

5. Before you claim your spouse is secretive, ask yourself if you are easy to talk to - calm, non-judgmental and empathetic

6. Don't protect a friend at the cost of hurting your spouse. It shows your spouse he/she has value. It is very easy to take your spouse for granted

7. Don't let how you treat your spouse be determined by how your spouse treats you. This only makes you hold back the best of your love and leads to tit for tat. Marriage is built by husband and wife both choosing to be the bigger person 

8. Don't let a day go by without asking your spouse "How are you?" Or checking up on your spouse. It oils the marriage

9. Don't take a back seat and relax in marriage, your marriage will whither without effort. It takes being intentional to keep a marriage healthy and strong

10. Don't treat your spouse based on how your in-laws treat you. Your in-laws might not like you, but your spouse loves you

11. Do to your spouse what you want your spouse to do to you

12. Do love your spouse the way your spouse wants to be loved, not the way you think your spouse ought to be loved

13. Do the things you promised you would do. It makes your word more trusted and moves the marriage further

14. Do use your money, your phone, your success, your strengths to love on your spouse; not to hurt your spouse

15. Do make time for your marriage. Your old age as a couple will be shaped by how you invested time in your marriage over the years

©️ Akello

TRUE SECRETS ABOUT MEN!!!

1. In a relationship, the man needs attention, love, and respect. Even if he have an outside relationship, these things can draw his mind fully to the one who gives them to him.

2. Men does not need a woman who is only a consumer, that can't multiply. Women are helpers to men, so it hurts men a lot to know that they are the only source of income.

3. When a man is angry, he need to be talked to in a moderate manner. Remember, it is water that can quench fire, so you won't talk to him in any harsh manner for him to listen, even if he's wrong.

4. Men hate to be cheated by their women. It hurts a lot for a man to catch his partner with another guy. Even if he don't have today, give him that respect, you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. MEN ARE JEALOUS!

5. The man always feel pleased to be comforted by his wife.

6. If a man loves you, trust me, he can do anything just for you to put on the smile.

7. Let the man food be prepared very well and in time. Don't make him eat out, not even at his office. Prepare him a lunch if necessary.

8. Make it your habit to always surprise him. It makes him feel good.

9. Always welcome him home with smiles, hugs, and soft words. You don't know the tension he went under at his job site.

10. Whenever he's out there, keep calling him to check if he's safe. Show him concern.

11. Study and know him as your ABC so that you'll know if he's in bad mood to comfort him. He might not explain to you when he's not in a good mood.

12. Whenever there is an issue, don't address the man outside, mostly in public gathering.

If you do all these, trust me, you got a perfect husband for life.

A POPE WHO DIED BECAUSE OF HIS CONVICTION ON REINCARNATION. A summary of the account of AD/CE 543-555.

A POPE WHO DIED BECAUSE OF HIS CONVICTION ON REINCARNATION. A summary of the account of AD/CE 543-555.

Emperor Justinian placed Pope Vigilius in imperial custody primarily due to a theological controversy known as the Three Chapters controversy.

This controversy involved theological disputes over the writings of three theologians who were considered Nestorian or Nestorian-leaning which simply meansthat they upheld the Knowledgethat Reincarnationis real. 

Justinian sought to condemn these writings to reconcile with the Monophysite Christians in the Eastern Roman Empire.

Pope Vigilius initially opposed Justinian's efforts but eventually agreed to support the condemnation of the Three Chapters. However, this decision was not universally accepted in the Western Church, and Vigilius faced significant opposition. In 547 AD, Justinian summoned Vigilius to Constantinople to settle the matter. Vigilius resisted, but under pressure and possibly coercion, he eventually agreed to support Justinian's position.

Vigilius was effectively placed under imperial custody from 547 AD onwards, remaining in Constantinople until his death in 555 AD. During this period, he was unable to exercise his full papal authority and faced challenges from various factions within the Church. Thus, it was a combination of theological disagreement and imperial pressure that led to Emperor Justinian putting Pope Vigilius in imperial custody.

Reincarnation is your greatest reality, your Heaven and Hell is an illusion.

#maazidibia

The Holy Mass by Fada Gabriel

1. The Holy Mass is the name Catholics call the threefold liturgical activities mentioned in Acts 2:42 — prayer, preaching, and breaking of bread (Eucharist). The three, together, form parts of the Holy Mass.

2. ⁠There is nothing wrong with wanting to listen more to God’s word or joining further group prayers after one has gone for Mass. It is even encouraged by the Church, that is why we hold some pious society prayer meetings or do faith-teachings on Sunday evenings (nkuzi nke okwukwe), because faith comes by hearing (Rm 10:17).

3. God is not restricted to using only priests for His many works; He can use both priests and lay people. The priest Amaziah could not understand how the village boy called Amos suddenly came to the city of the king and was prophesying, so he ordered him away. Yet Amos was a true prophet made so by God (Amos 7:10-17). 

4. The Holy Spirit is found not only in meditative prayers (which is my kind) but also in speaking in tongues kinds of prayers which some call noisy. And He does not restrict Himself only to our Catholic Church, He blows wherever He wills (Jn. 3:8).

5. If we say that Zion people obeying divine inspirations to gather and pray in Jesus name is “disobedience” to church, then we are saying that the whole of Christianity was built on disobedience. The chief priests had told the apostles to stop everything they were doing in the name of Jesus, but the apostles did not obey that (Acts 4:18-20). They were expelled from the synagogues, and Christianity began. However, if the matter at hand is about priests and religious under promise or vow of obedience, then it is a different thing all together. 

6. The Mother Church has always searched for ways to gather together all her children scattered in different denominations (Jn 17). When Pope Paul VI in the 1970s, for instance, saw the great flow of the Holy Spirit on Kathryn Kuhlman, an American Pentecostal evangelist, the Pope had to invite her to Rome for encouragement. And here we are on facebook tearing down our own fellow Catholics till another painful separation or secession emerges. 

 

7. What we should be doing is to encourage the local church where the Zion ministry is found to try and incorporate it in full as Catholic ministry, put priests there as chaplains to be saying Masses, guard against aberrations, etc. The abundance of the harvest in Africa tends to make us to be too quick in suppressing charisms. It is in the nature of the sheep to sometimes act stupidly or even go prodigal, it is the nature of the Church to search for her.

8. Finally, if we are unable to make our opposing points without insulting our opponents, then we’re not showing ourselves as Christians, a name which means “one like Christ”. The beauty of constructive criticisms is that no matter how opposing the points may be, they are expressed finely and respectfully.  And here’s one of my guiding principles: “Say evil of no one” (Titus 3:2).

God bless us always.

Fr. Gabriel

WHAT MEN NEED TO KNOW (HUSBAND)

WHAT MEN NEED TO KNOW (HUSBAND)

1. Intimacy in your marriage will suffer if you keep coming home late 

2. Your wife doesn't find you sexy because you buy her expensive gifts, she finds you sexy because of how you attend to her emotions 

3. Your wife will struggle to give you her body if she suspects you are entertaining another woman/women. Faithfulness makes you sexy

4. Don't avoid your wife the whole day then expect her to be turned on for you at night 

5. Women make love with their emotions, for them, the feeling of being loved is important. If you hurt her, she won't desire to make love 

6. If she doesn't feel ready to make love tonight, find out if there is an issue and address it. 

But if she is genuinely tired or not in the mood, it is not the end of the end of the world. How you treat her today, will determine how love making will be tomorrow 

7. If you realize you are demanding conjugal rights, know that you are no longer having intimacy but sexual perversion and coercion. Intimacy is not demanded, intimacy is invited and mutually celebrated

8. Sometimes all she needs from you is not your penis, but your arms to hold and cuddle her 

#ProfWilliamTheProductOfGod 

#MySuccessIsGoodForGod 

#RealTalkForCouples 

#WeLearnTogether

Okpoho History

OKPOHO

The Okpoho is an ancient money invented by the Igbos and used extensively in the 16th century AD across West Africa as a medium of monetary exchange in trade between the Europeans and indigenous west Africans.

Made of bronze or copper, the Okpoho was usually formed into a ring-shaped object that looked like a bracelet with each end of the ring flattened out. Because it looked like a bracelet (and in fact, was sometimes worn around the wrists, neck or ankles as bracelets by women of wealthy husbands), the Spanish called it 'manilla', meaning bracelets.

The Okpoho originated in Enugu igbo land, Okpoho is the name of Igbo blacksmith town in modern day Ezeagu LGA Enugu State where Manilla was traditionally minted and circulated all over Igboland and beyond. However was wrongly accredited to ancient Calabar City, Efik country, and its use was documented in the 16th AD as a medium of monetary exchange where one Okpoho bought one elephant tooth, and one slave could be bought for 8 to 10 Okpohos during the slave trade era.

The Okpoho is also featured at the back of the Nigerian 🇳🇬 N100 currency note, and also in the Akwa Ibom State seal, and in many other places.

Table of summary:

Name: Okpoho

Function: money

Origin: Calabar, Efik country.

Region used: West Africa

Material: Bronze, copper, or brass.

Invented: around 16th century AD

Declined: April 1, 1949.

Replaced by: British Pound

Yet if you go to Wikipedia page, you see that they listed Calabar as the origin of Manilla.

This is because the colonials first saw Manilla at Calabar slave ports being used by Aros and Efiks for exchange of slaves .

And in error, they accredited Calabar with the money.

Even When Efiks are not known as blacksmiths, they have no iron ore minning sites in Efik land, so how could they have invented Manilla.

Moreover even in Efik, Manilla is called Okpoho.

Guess what? Okpoho is the name of Igbo blacksmith town in modern day Ezeagu LGA Enugu State where Manilla was traditionally minted and circulated all over Igboland and beyond.

Okpoho people were like the CBN of Ancient Igboland, minting Okpoho aka "Ego-Igwe".

Manilla is so Ancient to Igboland that it was even found among the materials buried in Igbo ukwu.

Okpogho Manilla were found in Igbo Ukwu excavation that is dated 9th and 10th AD.

The Nri identified all the objects found there including Okpogho.

Connect the dots.

We have alot of m!sinformation about Ndiigbo to correct.

#HistoryofOkpoho