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What's good about being married? It can give you a sense of belonging, a feeling of security and stability, an ongoing
involvement with a sense of continuity, a home base, a feeling of closeness and intimacy, and a feeling that the future is more certain.
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What's bad about being married?
It can bring less control over your time, a need to account to other people, a tendency to lose your identity and get wrapped up in
roles, pressure to conform, boredom with routine, and a sense of obligation loaded
with shoulds and oughts.
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What's good about being single?
It can give you a sense of excitement and adventure, control over your own time, more freedom to grow as an independent person, a right to privacy, a sense of your own individuality, and the ability to make your own decisions without compromising or being accountable to others.
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What's bad about being single?
It can bring a feeling of being detached and alienated, a feeling of loneliness, more anxiety and risk, fewer supports, a limitation
in what you can do alone, and less certainty about the future.
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Since being married and being single both have some positive aspects as well as some
drawbacks, this puts us in a dilemma all our lives. We usually go through life doing a balancing act between trying to satisfy our
need for commitment and our need for freedom. Whenever we get too far out of balance, we feel a need for whatever is missing.
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