SOME OF THE DARKEST SIDES OF WOMEN YOU DON'T KNOW

1. A woman can never love two men at the same time. It is always one. If you are not, you are not. There are no two ways around. That is why you usually see two women fighting for one man they love.

A woman who loves you, smells everything that touches you including your clothes.

2. The sexual desire in women is usually more than that of a man. Don't think it's only men that desired sex more than women. Women desired sex more than us only that it's in their nature to wait for us to ask for it. That is because women don't want to face rejection, embarrassment and insult no matter what they always want until someone saves them and take the blame.

3. Women don't keep secrets to someone they love no matter what you tell them. No matter what she says, wait till she meets someone she loves in bed, somebody who knows them more than you, somebody who knows what she's capable of doing, somebody who knows that she wouldn't hide anything from him; that's the person she will tell.

And, again, shyness and tears are not a valid effects to determine if she's a good woman, because a woman can fake it like a boss. They are capable of doing that.

When you cheat on her and she doesn't hate you, she hates that woman you cheated with. Ladies I'm sorry for exposing our secret.

Say NO to a relationship with toxic features

Singles, be sensitive about relationships with toxic features. It is not healthy to consider such for marital decision.

It has harmful potentials and is dangerous for you now and even in the future. Life can be lost in the process, dreams could be aborted and hopes could be dashed if you are indifferent about it. It is not a relationship you ever wish anyone not to talk of your precious life.

Some of the features may include but not be limited to the following:

(1) He or she does not fear God and does not fear anybody or any authority. Righteousness is an alien to the person, no salvation experience and life is full of sinfulness without any apology. His or her way does not please the Lord. Anybody who does not love God and submit to His authority will not be able to love you genuinely. He or she makes you to compromise your stand in God, each moment together takes you far from God and you struggle spiritually always to catch up again. Do you still want to go ahead? It is dangerous for you oooo!

(2) He or she is inhuman. Behaviours and attitudes are unimaginable. No human feeling or iota of sensitivity to another person's emotions or needs in all areas. He or she enjoys inflicting pains on you and does not see anything wrong in it. You have become emotional reck because of the relationship. You can't get along and survive with a damaged state of mind in the journey of marriage o.

(3) The person does not value you and it is obvious you are the one chasing him or her for a relationship. There is no commitment, no love, no signs of seriousness at any given time. You keep hearing names of other options who are more valuable and appreciated than you from him or her. He or she has options in which you are among. I mean, among the multitude of his fake love network here and there, why would you force yourself on someone you are not his or her priority at any given time and does not even value you.

WAYS TO TEST TRUE LOVE

 

I Love you! You love me!

Is a common saying. Everyone want to be in Love but not everyone is ready to pay the price. To know whether it is true love or not. I will mention few ways to test true love.

1. Truth test

True love is not afraid to tell the whole truth, but lust and infatuation have a lot to hide / keep. So, if you are still hiding behind one “finger”, keeping the truth from your partner because you don't want him or her to know the truth , who will later know? Don't be a deceiver. You're not a true lover. True love doesn't lie neither keep any records truth.

Be truthful and real. If he or she will stay, why not, she will. It is better you tell him or her than finding out later.

2. Time test

Real love do survive test of time because it is deeply rooted before it started. It is rooted in the other person’s total personality and not just the physical appearance because the more they know of each other, the more the love grows.

Check it, if that guy that used to come almost everyday now finds it difficult to see you for a whole month, fail to call or never pick your calls, it only shows that he is not in love and he has seen it all, it is time to go. Not a real love.

3. Goal test

True love is ready to give, even if it hurts, it is unselfish, committed, you want to do all you can to make the other party happy as far as he want in the fear of God, that is true love. If all what your partner want is to collect from you or have sex with you, he or she is not in love.

If your desire is to get somebody to kiss, caress, fondle and sleep with that's infatuation not true love. His/ her goal must not be sex.

4. Maturity test

Teenagers are not ripe enough for love affairs or anything call love, they can only be infatuated which they call love. If you are still a teenager you are deceiving yourself, if the person you are going into relationship with is a teenager you are both in Infatuated not love .

 

Protect Your Wife

 Protect Your Wife

Protect your wife from emotional abuse as well. Your words hold immense power, and the emotional scars they leave can be just as damaging as physical ones.

Treat her with kindness and empathy, always mindful of the impact your words have on her self-esteem and mental well-being.

Protect your wife from financial stress by being a responsible partner. Work together to manage your finances and ensure that she feels secure and supported.

Money matters can be a significant source of tension, so open and honest communication about your financial goals and responsibilities is crucial.

Protect your wife from the daily grind by sharing household and parenting duties. A strong partnership means both of you are equally responsible for the home and the children you're raising.

Strive for a balance that allows her to pursue her own interests and dreams, just as you pursue yours.

Protect your wife by showing her love and appreciation every day. Never take her for granted, and express your affection regularly.

Small gestures of kindness and affirmation go a long way in making her feel cherished and valued in your life.

Protect your wife from societal pressures and expectations. Stand by her choices and support her in pursuing her own path, even if it differs from traditional norms. Celebrate her individuality and the unique qualities that make her who she is.

Remember that protecting your wife is not just about shielding her from external threats but also creating a loving and nurturing environment within your relationship.

It's about being her partner, confidant, and biggest supporter, ensuring that she feels safe, respected, and deeply loved throughout your journey together.

- Abhikesh

How To Choose A Wife/Husband - Dr. Myles Munroe

In choosing a spouse, you must possess and check out for the presence of these traits. They increase the chances of you both being able to live together successful

1. Adaptability

Notice that this is adaptability, not compatibility. Adaptability is a stronger trait for relationships that will work than compatibility. Compatibility focuses on how many things you have in common. It is necessary but there’ll still be differences between you.

Adaptability on the other hand is your ability to adjust to each other regardless of your differences. So the differences wouldn’t be a problem unlike the ones focusing on compatibility.

2. Empathy

Empathy is sensitivity to the needs, hurts, and desires of others—the ability to feel with them and experience the world from their perspective. Love and marriage are a relationship of meeting the needs of the other. If one or both of you aren’t sensitive to the needs of the other person, there’ll be so much dissatisfaction in the union.

3. Ability to work through problems

Claiming to be able to solve every problem is a lie. But a successful marriage is made up of a couple who has decided and remains committed to solving as many problems together as they can and finding their way around the ones they can’t. But you must never pretend problems don’t exist or neglect them.

4. Ability to give and receive love

This is especially important for males. Most females don’t have problems giving and receiving love. But males are pressured by society into believing they must remain tough and hide their emotional needs. While you both must give love, you must also receive love from the other person.

5. Emotional stability

This means being able to control your emotions and not let them run away from you. It means bridling your temper and not making excuses for immature emotional outbursts. This is a product of will more than skill. Everybody has power over their emotions.

Every man knows exactly what he’s doing…

You not feeling loved or important is not a misconception, You feel that way because it is the reality of things.

You feeling confused about your place in his life is not a misconception, You feel out of place because you have no place.

You feeling neglected and uncared for is not a misconception, Men invest wherever their heart is and his isn’t with you.

Many of you have seen all the signs and red flags but refused to accept because you are too afraid to let go and start all over again.

Most men intentionally neglect, maltreat and disrespect you just to frustrate you into leaving them alone but you still stay..

Men are not good pretenders especially for long, It is you who wasn’t paying attention or listening to your gut feeling.

To further validate this theory, Many of you will read and ignore the red flags even though it describes your current situation

THIS TRUTH WILL MAKE THINGS EASY IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Always ask yourself, "What is the outcome I want for my marriage? Is it to to save it and grow my marriage or to end it?"

1. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you holding on to the friend that is causing a rift between you and your spouse?

2. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you not saying sorry for the wrong you know very well you did?

3. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you mistreating and disrespecting your in-laws?

4. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you telling anyone who cares to hear how bad your spouse is?

5. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you not forgiving your spouse and are stuck on his/her past faults?

6. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you insulting or physically harming your spouse?

7. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you not listening to what your spouse is saying to make your spouse feel accommodated?

8. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you threatening your spouse with divorce?

9. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you using sex as a weapon?

10. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you protecting your phone more than your marriage?

11. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you still holding on to the affair that is threatening your marriage?

12. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you refusing to be accountable and refusing to participate in a process where you and your spouse can talk things out or even go through counselling instead of hiding issues?

13. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you letting your pride take over?

14. If your outcome is to save and grow your marriage, why are you using your children to fight your spouse?

THE WOMAN AND HER MENTAL HEALTH

1. Realize the best relationship you can ever have is with yourself. As you care for others, don't forget you

2. Your beauty starts mentally before physically. You have a beautiful body and a beautiful smile, but are you mentally beautiful?

3. Learn to take breaks in life and breathe before you burn out and lose everything

4. Realize in life some unfortunate situations will happen to wake you up and bring to your attention that you have been neglecting yourself. When the situations happen, wake up

5. If you don't like the woman you have become because of your inner struggles, you have the power to change her

6. You can put make up on your face but you can never put make up on your mental state. Either you are really well or not

7. A bad mental state will affect your physical health. If you are getting sickly of late, check your mind

8. Never feel ashamed for prioritizing your mental well-being, even if it means others won't understand you. Only you know the battle for your mind that is taking place

9. Remember to be kind to yourself as much as you are kind to others

10. Don't take in more than you can handle. Don't set yourself up for a mental breakdown. Lessen sources of anxiety

11. Question every negative thought speaking in your mind. Be careful of the voices you give attention to

12. Be truly honest with yourself, in both your strengths and weaknesses. Be balanced. Identify your growing areas without hating yourself. Honesty is the path to healing

13. When you are in the process of healing, don't disrupt it. Heal at your pace, each step of healing counts. You will get there

13. Ask for space when you need it so that you attend to you. Space from responsibilities, space from conversations, space even from work if you need days off

14. People who care about you will respect and celebrate your process of self care

8 LEVELS OF INTIMACY

1. SOCIAL INTIMACY

This is when you enjoy someone's company in public, when you single that person out in public, when you would rather go to places with that one person because you two have a good connection

2. FRIENDSHIP INTIMACY

This is when it grows beyond just spending time to really get to know each other. When you get to know each other's mannerisms, likes, dislikes and invest in more one on one interactions

3. EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

This is when you become bare and unashamed. You two get to share your fears and desires, you two get to talk about things no one else knows, you two don't have rushed conversations but you go deep in unraveling and unveiling each other and loving each other for who you truly are. This intimacy requires no walls, no pretence, you two get to a place where you can say "I feel understood"

4. PHYSICAL INTIMACY

This is when the connection goes to touch. When you two are safe and free with each other and confident in claiming each other that you effortlessly hold hands, locks arms, hold waists, spank each other, hug a little longer and cuddle

6. SENSUAL INTIMACY

This is when you two tease and arouse each other. You flirt as a couple, you turn each other on, you excite each other's senses, you dress up to give each other visual stimulation, you stroke your fingers on each other's skin, you kiss passionately, you make out

7. SEXUAL INTIMACY

This is beyond having sex. This is you two learning each other sexually and giving each other utmost sexual pleasure. This is when you two discover secrets of each other's body and drive each other crazy

8. SPIRITUAL INTIMACY

This is the highest form of intimacy, where you two join God's spirit and God's spirit downloads truths to you. You know things in the spirit about each other, you pray for each other, you see each other not as sexy bodies but human spirits

May your marriage have this 8 levels of intimacy

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

THE WIFE WORTH FIGHTING FOR

 THE WIFE WORTH FIGHTING FOR

Is the one who...

1. Adds value, not just there to receive

2. Brings out the best in her husband by believing in him

3. Gives a man peace of mind, not stress

4. Stands by him when things get tough

5. Brings him favour and progress, not taking him many steps back

6. Is aware that she can also be wrong and doesn't mind apologizing when she is

7. Helps him make the family stand, he knows he can't do it without her

8. Is not a yes woman, she can disagree with him respectfully and give a helpful, different opinion

9. Excites him sexually, seduces him

10. Moulds him privately so that he shines publicly

11. Keeps his secrets without sharing with others his weaknesses

12. Remains faithful and doesn't give him reasons to feel insecure

13. Appreciates his efforts big and small

14. Is a good influence to the children, he knows his children are in safe hands with mom

15. Doesn't undermine, intimidate or belittle him

16. Doesn't shout at him, insult him or provoke him to anger

17. Has her own personal vision and pursues it, making him proud of her as an individual

Dear wife, are you worth fighting for or have you drained your husband with your mannerisms, attitude, tone, fights and negativity that he is thinking life can be better, more peaceful and easier without you? Are you a keeper? Are you worth fighting for? Men fight for what they value

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

YOUR EX WILL BE LOVED:

1. One day, the ex you used to beat up will find a spouse who uses his hands to love her

2. One day, that ex you dumped because he didn't have much money, will have not just wealth but a spouse who believes in him

3. One day, that ex you dumped because you said he/she was good for nothing, will be basking in success with a spouse who sees every good in him/her

4. One day, that ex you dumped because he/she is not educated enough, will shock you by the brilliance of his/her mind and next to him/her you will see a wise spouse

5. One day, that ex you dumped because of being Godly and boring, will find a Godly spouse and the two will have a blessed marriage, you will see them living in joy then you will notice why your ex put God first

6. One day, that ex you chased away because you claimed he/she didn't add value to your life, will find a spouse who knows his/her worth

7. One day, that ex you cheated on, will find a great spouse who will be faithful just like your ex is

8. One day, that woman you impregnated and rejected, will find a man who will be by her side always and that man will also love your child because your child is an extension of the woman he loves

9. One day, the man you made fun of and claimed he is beneath your dating league, he will find a woman who sees his greatness and the two will shine, you will wish to have what they have. A great man came your way but you despised him

10. One day, the woman you dumped because she was too complicated, too irrational, too emotional; she will find a man who loves to explore her, a man who calms her emotions and gives her stability. All she needed was a man who understands

11. One day, the ex you dumped because you couldn't handle his/her dark past, will find a spouse who uses the dark past to build a bright future

12. One day, that ex you publicly ridiculed and shamed, will find a spouse who makes beauty out of the ashes you created, a spouse who covers and defends

MENTALITY AND MARRIAGE

I took time to go through some of the groups I'm following on Facebook today and I couldn't help but ponder.

The major killer of a great marriage even before it starts is "THE WRONG MINDSET"

A lot of people today are going to marriage with the wrong mindset and so, they are not even ready to get it right.

How can you think "all men are the same" and you want to enjoy marriage? Now, if I may ask, how many men have you had relationship with to draw that conclusion?

"It is in the nature of men to cheat" Are you kidding me, says who? Why conclude because you know someone cheating on his wife or probably your husband is cheating on you?

"All ladies want is money" that is your mindset and a very wrong assumption.

"All ladies are the same and they just can't change" that is absolutely wrong, Sir

All these are individual assumptions and a conditioned mindset which have destroyed a lot of marriages and still keeping some single.

It will be good for you if you can do a reprogramming, change the way you think and stop assuming. Assumption kills relationship and if you continue to assume you will continue to lose valuable relationships.

Change your mindset because you are a product of your thoughts and these thoughts come from the image you've created for yourself(assumptions)

Until you change your mindset you will never think right and take responsibility but keep passing blames.

© Bisi Lanre - Ojolo

WISDOM FOR HUSBAND!

Dear husband, you can make your wife the most loving, romantic, admirable and beautiful woman on earth.

Ask her what you can do to make her happy. This is the most important question you will ever ask your wife.

Spoil her with your love. Pamper her.

Treat your wife with dignity.

Don't be her headache. Don't be her pain

Make her happy. Never let her regret getting married to you.

Never compare her to anyone living or dead

Never cheat on her.

There is nothing you desire from side chic that your wife does not have. Don't put your life in danger because of momentary sexual pleasure from side chic

Never beat her no matter what she does. Your wife is not a goat. Real men don't beat women.

Understand her love language and give it to her. Either it can be words, gifts, touch, actions, etc. If it is words, then frequently tell your wife you love and appreciate her. If it is action: regularly do things that she appreciates

Never allow any member of your family to insult her or make life difficult for her.

Be gentle and tender with her.

Make her your priority. Be 100% committed to her.

Pray for her always.

Play with her. Never create a hostile environment for her.

Listen to her. Drop your phone and be attentive to whatever she has to say.

Forgive her no matter her offense. Love forgives

Support her vision. Never bury her dreams because she is married to you.

Encourage her. You should be her number one encourager

Protect her from every physical and spiritual attack.

Satisfy her sexual needs. Never deny her of your body.

Always tell her she's beautiful.

Celebrate her always both online and offline

Spend money to beautify her.

Treat her like your beauty queen.

Give her gifts constantly.

Buy her new sets of undies: buy her bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfume, chocolate, fruits, cakes, ice cream, shortbread biscuits or snacks for her.

Women’s love for shoes, bags & clothes are incurable .

WHAT EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO KNOW

1. Your biggest enemy is yourself. That enemy is the one who makes you overthink, develop a low self-esteem, make you emotionally unstable and give you ulcers. Love yourself from the inside first before you expect love from the outside

2. You are not in a relationship with a man until you both clearly state it. Don't get carried away by the idea of love with a man simply because he spends time with you or treats you special

3. If you are in a relationship or marriage, demanding your man to spend time with you will not make him do so. A man willingly spends time with you because you give him peace and he enjoys your company. Attract him the same way you peacefully and warmly attracted him when he was pursuing you

4. Mr. Right is the man who offers a conducive environment for you to be the best you. Choose your environment well

5. Your husband will never find you if you keep fooling around with other women's husbands

6. Mr. Right can also hurt you. The difference is that Mr. Right hurts when he hurts you, he apologises, owns up to his short comings and makes effort to love you better. Love is a learning process

7. Silent treatment will not solve anything. If your man hurts you, learn to speak your hurt and teach him to love you better. The best couples have mastered the art of conflict resolution

8. Most men don't mind being corrected. What they do mind is the tone with which you correct them. The world has been harsh towards women for years, but tone down your defensive mode and learn to communicate effectively with respect and love. You two don't have to fight and argue to look like you are addressing issues

9. A man who is not serious about you will avoid accountability, will operate in grey areas and will hide you. You will never go far with him. Serious men like being kept accountable, they take pride in what they commit to and are not afraid of responsibilities

Best Marriage Advice EVER...✍🏾

1. Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling. When possible, try to keep your phone off when you're together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the "currency of relationships," so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage. Remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy. And even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won't be a "winner" and a "loser." You're partners in everything so you'll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Realize that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It's usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it's nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it.

9. Remember that marriage isn't 50/50— divorce is 50/50. Marriage has to be 100/100. It's not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they've got.

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you've given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don't feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else's. God's plan for your life is masterfully unique.

12. Don't put your marriage on hold while you're raising your kids or else you'll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust .

HOW TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/ MARRIAGE

HOW TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP/ MARRIAGE

Sometimes when two people have been dating or married for so long, the communication can be flat. You've already known each other, so what is there to talk about? The chats become short and few, the phone calls become short and cold, when you are both at home everyone is busy doing their own thing, you both struggle in a conversation, when driving in the car both are silent, you two have ended up talking mostly about the things that need to be done at home, you can feel that the communication is dry.

 How does one restore that funny, warm, alive, quality communication to what it used to be before?

1. "Stop panicking"

When you panic that the communication has changed, you begin to force conversations; making things awkward and complicating things further

2. "Both of you grow intellectually"

When you don't grow as much, you stagnate. Or one of you grows more than the other, there can be a disconnect. But when you acquire more knowledge, research more, go to school to get that Degree, Masters or PhD, or even when you can't go to school you read more and become more exposed to new content; you will have more to talk about

3. "Engage your family and friends more"

Often a man and a woman spend time alone and isolating themselves. But stop making yourselves an island. Meet up with family, do stuff with friends, especially as a couple; that way you will have new experiences and memories. Conversations often revolve around two things: memories and what someone knows

4. "Kiss more"

You cannot kiss and stay quiet. Kissing excites the senses. If you don't have much to say, just kiss each other, get lost in those long intimate kisses. Soon, you both will find yourselves talking

5. "Watch movies together"

Movies are a great way to connect

6. "Go out on dates more"

Sadly, many couples, especially married couples stop going out on dates. Staying at home every time can get monotonous, nothing new to experience

Before You Say I Do:

Before You Say I Do:

 Ladies! Do not be committed to a man who is not committed to you. When a man truly loves a woman, he will show it by his loving actions. Words are cheap. Do not believe every word that a man tells you but believe everything he shows you by his actions. 

If a man loves you, he will pursue you and will never leave you wondering if he truly loves you. If you are always the one chasing him and calling him and sending countless unreturned text messages, he is not serious with you. 

If all he does is give you countless excuses of why he cannot be with you, then he is probably committed to someone else. 

A man who truly loves you will give you undivided attention and unsolicited affection. If his love is not freely given, then his love is not worth receiving. 

Do not be with a man who just tolerates you, be with one who pursues, appreciates and values you. A man who takes you for granted will always take advantage of you. Move on! You deserve better. – Isaac Kubvoruno

Don't be so much about who's at fault

You'd both lie down facing opposite directions of the same bed, both acting busy with the phone or pretending to be asleep. Action would be so close yet so far away. Frustrated, you'd both drop the phones one after the other and pretend to sleep, hoping that your move will trigger a reconciliatory move from the other. 

Your eyes will be closed but your senses wide open, painting a very clear image of every single body movement coming from the other side of the bed, hoping that one of those moves would be a hand in your direction....hoping, just hoping.

Next comes the tossing and turning that would be done again, hoping to trigger something.... again, hoping, just hoping.

Finally, the sigh of giving up and sleeping, having wasted hours hoping, just hoping.

The next morning will begin in more frustration and anger for even betraying yourself enough to descend to hoping, just hoping......and worse, without results.

You'd both leave for work angrier than you were yesterday and it just continues till it feels like there's no way back.

If you are lucky and you make it out of the eye of the storm, you'd remember someday and ask yourself why one of you didn't just say sorry.

If you are not as lucky, you'd continue to be bitter but someday too, your mind will come round and ask you why one of you didn't just make a move.

Please, I beg you with all you've got, all you are and all you hope to be. Don't let ego destroy what you have. 

Don't be so much about who's at fault as much as you'd be about who fixed it.

Peace.

-Shamseddin Giwa