STRONG MEAT FOR THE MARRIED
There was a day I offended my wife and I was ready to get all defensive. I expected that she would give me the silent treatment or withdraw her commitments.
I was surprised and at the same time scared of the way she handled things. She made my food, served me (with extra meat). I dey even fear say hope otapiapia no dey inside this stew? I never ready to chop the last supper o
When she invited me to the dinning, na so my hand dey shake as I dey chop the food.
Indeed, a sinner runs when no one pursues (Prov. 28:1). She did everything she would do under a normal circumstance and even added jara.
That night, I was truly broken, I wondered what kind of a woman she is. I envied God's grace upon her life. I didn't only tender a sincere apology to her, I also made up my mind never to repeat such a thing again.
In our homes, there are many times that we would have been able to resolve issues that turned into serious problem, but things blow out of proportion because our love and kindness towards our partner is a payback. It is like a "give and take" kind of transaction.
The script we have in our head is "The way my partner treats me will determine the way I'll treat him back. If he's kind to me, I'll be kind to him too, if he gives me trouble, I'll double it for him"...and this has scattered many homes.
Hmm, in Christian marriage, love should not be a payback, it is beyond the feelings too. Love is an obligation. Love is unconditional. Love is a commitment. Love is God's commandment. Maybe I should say it is compulsory to love your partner . Love is not to be measured and acted upon based on the way our partner behaves towards us or treats us.
The Bible says Christ loves us and died for us even when we are yet sinners......(R
omans 5:8)
Jesus didn't die for those that are saved o, that would have been a waste of death. Jesus died for the same sinners that hate and persecute him...I know someone is already saying "I'm not Jesus now"
Please tell me, what's special in showing love to someone who has first shown you love? Just anyone can do that.
Know this from today, that whenever you repay kindness just because the person has been kind to you, it is a waste.
For marriage to work, one must do beyond the usual. You must make sacrifices that will cause people to think you're "mumu". As a man, you must do things that'll make people around you suspect that your wife is controlling you.
If you want to live by the "If you do me, I do you" rule, your marriage may struggle. This is not a curse, it is the truth.
See what I am saying in essence is that forgiving your spouse when he/she offends you is not a choice, it is a must and it doesn't end there, even after you have forgiven, you'll still have to show him/her more love and kindness than ever before...this isn't easy, not even for me too, but God's grace is sufficient.
Talk is cheap. I know it is easy to say these things, walking the talk is the difficult part. But I tell you sincerely, with the help of God, it is possible and if you desire it, God can do it for you. Showing love to someone that hurts you is another level of spiritual maturity. Even God Himself will be proud of you.
Look at it this way, since you have been giving it back to your spouse hot hot, just the way he/she has been giving it to you, has that solve the problem?....I guess not.
So this is a pointer that you need to change your approach. It's time to do the unusual. You can't keep doing the same thing and then expect different result...no now!
You see that your husband that is misbehaving and doing things that you're not proud of, that your wife that has no respect for you, show her love anyway, show her genuine love and also pray to God to change her for better, then watch as God turns things around for good in your marriage.
Let me leave you with this big question; WILL YOU STILL LOVE AND CARE FOR YOUR SPOUSE EVEN WHEN HE/SHE IS NOT TREATING YOU RIGHT?
Search your mind for the answer and evaluate yourself.
By John Adesogan
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