Wrong Generalization of Marriage Matters

In my tribal culture; marriage is a union of two communities viz: the native community of the man and of the woman. The husband and wife of such marriages are mere care-takers of the union. That's why the two communities negotiate the rites including dowry. Consequently, there cannot be a successful divorce without the full consent of these communities.

This is conditional that the marriage rites have been fully performed in accordance with the customs and tradition of the community of the bride.

In our custom, a wife is titled; "ORIAKU" literally meaning "ONE WHO CONSUMES WEALTH". Every young man works hard and prays earnestly to have a good one to consume his wealth . Sometimes or often it takes years or decades for a man to prepare himself adequately for this task. It is considered a shame for a man not to be capable of maintaining a wife such that she can compete with other wives of her generation or of her husband's age mates.

Basically a man in this culture must first have his own house or at least a dwelling place he has a right to occupy without hindrance, and a suitable means of taking acceptable care of a wife and future children, before thinking about marriage. His parents must be satisfied with his capability on all these requirements.

A man who fails on these conditions is considered an irresponsible fellow.

NOW, could someone who has gone through these to marry a wife still be seen as not have demonstrated sufficient love for his bride? Yet, in many cases, this same man would turn around to destroy what he has laboured to build; either through foolishness, arrogance or ignorance of his recurrent duties. It is not enough to labour to build a palace, if such an edifice is neglected, it would spell doom. NOT ALL MARRIED MEN ARE HUSBANDS.

Nevertheless, the bride has enormous contribution towards the success of the union. If she takes the whole matter for granted, her husband could become discouraged and the union will fail with the support of the husband's community.

The Community of the bride would feel embarrassed if through her fault, the marriage collapsed. She wouldn't be accepted back in her maiden home or if reluctantly accepted, she will become an icon of failure.

Similarly, the community of the husband will rally round the wife and block any move by the man to force her out if they realise that he has been unfair to her.

SEE ONE OF THE MANY REASONS WHY IT IS WRONG TO GENERALIZE MATTERS CONCERNING MARRIAGE?