LEAVE AND CLEAVE

That moment a brother entered into his room, locked the door and threw his key on the bed.

Tony sat down with his head resting on his right arm, "When will she understand my love for her? Helen, I love you. Hmnnn, what should I do now?" He asked silently in the solitary of his room.

He was absolutely sure they were destined to get married but her doubt and excuses have built a temporary barrier between them.

Helen was a great woman who worked in a new generation bank and fervent for the Lord. She has agreed to Tony's proposal but he seemed not to be matured enough for her liking.

One major issue in their courtship was the strong affection Tony has for his mother. Nothing is wrong with that but there was a time they were discussing the importance of having both individual and joint bank accounts.

"Helen, I can't decide now. I need to ask my mother for her opinion". Tony quipped without mincing words.

Helen was taken aback by his response but held her peace to avoid unnecessary argument.

He believed her mother's opinion carried weight and must be adhered to. His mother singlehandedly raised him and his younger brother after their father eloped with another woman.

Tony grew up with the belief that mothers are stronger than fathers in the area of upbringing. He tried to extend hand of love to his father living in Europe but he never returned his kind gesture. Tony decided never to despise his mother under whatever circumstances.

He carried this belief into his adulthood and has affected his two previous relationships with Angela and Victoria.

Angela was ready to accommodate his excesses until the day Tony told her plainly that his mother would stay with them taking charge of their home and even sleep on their matrimonial bed.

.

"What! On our matrimonial bed?" Angela cried out.

"Of course! After all, she carried me for good nine months in her womb. So, what's the big deal in sleeping in our room." He said casually.

That was the statement that broke their five months' relationship.

Tony believed every woman must reason with him and accept him irrespective of their own background. Fortunately, he met Victoria in a unique way at the University library.

Victoria studied English language and one thing led to another and they fell in love. In fact, Victoria travelled to the US during their courtship and came back with a juicy opportunity for him to work in her father's company.

She was born with a silver spoon and her Parents admired Tony. However, he began to demand unreasonable tasks from her.

At first, she thought she could bear them until Tony spilled his foolishness again.

"Your Parents will not be welcomed into our home after our wedding. My mother doesn't want crowd in our home." Tony told Victoria to her face.

"What!"

"Yes. You heard me right." he replied.

Victoria backed out after stressful intrusion into her privacy and their relationship.

Tony went to square one until he met Helen. She was desperate to get married after waiting for Mr right. Among her friends, she was the only one who was still single. She prayed and believed Tony was God's sent because of the way they met.

Tony came to the bank that day and she was the one who attended to him. Their chemistry clicked, physically attracted to each other, mathematically oriented, biologically stable, no barrier in their love language, economically buoyant, geographically located together and spiritually compatible.

They continued their relationship with ups and downs of "my mummy wants this, my mother likes that, my mother is better in this area, my loving mother is the best etc".

Helen confided in her friend and fellow sister in the church.

"Have you informed our Pastor?" Jane asked her.

"He is aware of our relationship but his mother's palaver is out of it" Helen replied.

"I'll advise you to talk it over with Pastor's wife" She advised.

She summoned courage to reveal everything to her Pastor's wife and her counsel was like a cold water to a thirsty soul.

"Helen, make sure you come together next Tuesday for counselling session and God will speak through my husband and me." Pastor's wife admonished.

After a while, Tony heard a knock on the door and quickly searched for the key on the bed. When he opened the door, he saw his neighbour's daughter smiling with a food flask in her hand.

"Uncle Tony, I know you haven't cooked food yet. Here is your favourite food garnished with assorted meats. The Bible says, 'Let brotherly love continue'. So, eat and enjoy yourself."

"Enough is enough Theresa! Who told you I like rice and beans?"

"Uncle Tony, your mother told me when she visited you last month. Am I lying?"

He smiled and took it from her hand, "If not for my dear mother, I wouldn't have collected it. Thank you very much!"

"Ha Uncle Tony! Don't thank me oooo. Em.... Em... Can I come in to clear the table for you?" Theresa asked.

She told him stories of how she helped her elder brother's mother-in-law and the accolades she received because of her positive attitude.

Tony looked at her admirably and asked, "So, you love my mother too?"

"Ha Uncle Tonyyyy! Hehe.... I love your mother oooo, I mean, our mother. She is so nice and I can do everything for her. In fact..."

"And allow her to rule in my matrimonial home?" He cut in.

"Uncle Tonyyyy.... Even, to dictate everything in our home...." Theresa said with laughter.

She cleared the table and left with parting words, "I can do anything for you. Uncle Tony, even to the least in your family."

The following week, Helen and Tony met in Pastor's office. He counselled them and asked him a question, "After your wedding, who will be number one in your life apart from God?"

Tony looked around before answering him.

"My mother!"

They were amazed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Pastor!"

"Bro Tony, mothers are amazing and must never be neglected. But in marriage, a husband is joined to his wife and have become one. That is God's principle."

"I know Sir but my mother and I are inseparable."

All his explanations fell on deaf ears and Pastor's wife effort was wasted too.

Helen rose up and thanked the Pastor for his support and prayers.

"Tony, I'm not against your mother but your demands are outrageous." She said looking at him with sadness written on her face.

"You can go your way. God will give me a better and understanding woman" Tony said and left.

After four months, Helen received a text message from Jane, "Theresa weds Tony"

She later called Jane to confirm the news.

"Is she not his neighbour's daughter?" Helen asked.

"Yes. In fact, she is already pregnant."

"What! Bro Tony?" Helen asked surprisingly.

"Yes. I was told his mother wanted it that way."

When they ended their call, she burst into tears lamenting her single state.

After three months, she received a text message from Tony to reconsider his proposal.

Helen decided to meet him at the designated place.

"Helen, who is this man with you?" Tony asked.

"My fiancé!"

Tony greeted him and began to narrate his ordeal in the hand of Theresa.

"You mean she hit your mother with an iron rod?"

"Yes!"

"Where is she now?"

"She has eloped with another man and my life savings!" he lamented.

Helen and her fiancé encouraged him to look for her and reconciled with her.

"I can still remarry because I didn't pay any dowry.l" he confessed.

"But I got your wedding invite?"

"My mother cancelled everything and asked us to start living together."

"Then, you aren't under any covenant" she said.

Tony returned to God in true repentance but the scars of wounded mother and sudden poverty were there.

He learnt his lesson in a bitter way.

Later, his mother begged him for forgiveness and released him.

"I release you now. May God choose for you and bless your way. I'm really sorry" She pleaded.

Tony forgave her and within two months God gave him a godly sister. They met in

Tony and Julie got married and were blessed with children.

"When next will Mama come to visit us? She must stay longer" Julie insisted.

Thus, God turned everything around for good in their lives. They began to travel across the world preaching and encouraging the singles to seek God's will for their lives. Their testimonies brought glory to God and strengthened the faith of the young brothers and sisters.

*********************************************

**

"So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter in law, with her, which returned out of the country of Moab: and they came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest." (Ruth 1:22)

Beloved, if Naomi was a demanding type or a wicked woman, would Ruth have followed her to her country?

If Naomi had been poking her nose into their affairs every now and then, would Ruth have surrendered to her?

Dear Mothers, you are great and lovely. Without you, life will be meaningless. We appreciate your efforts, sacrifices and your affections.

However, when your son/daughter is married, your influence is limited because he/she has become one with his/her spouse. God made it that way. Your prayers and pieces of advice will be appreciated.

Brother, marriage is not for an immature person. Be a MAN. No woman wants to live with a chicken hearted man.

YOU MUST NOT NEGLECT YOUR PARENTS BUT KNOW THE BOUNDARY.

You are joined to your wife. Defend her and your home.

Listen to pieces of advice but not to the detriment of your wife and children. REMEMBER YOU WILL GIVE ACCOUNT TO GOD.

There are boundaries. Let love reign.

There are responsibilities. Be faithful.

There are laws of God. Keep them.

There are spiritual battles. Put on the whole armour of God.

May the Lord grant us the wisdom to be balanced in Jesus name.

There is no room for hatred. Love covers multitude of sins.

Hatred in your heart will hinder God's presence here and in the hereafter.

Let God help you.

By Olumide Fatunsin