3 STEPS TO APOLOGIZE TO YOUR HUSBAND

As an African woman, there are three powerful steps to apologise to your husband!

As a woman when your husband is so angry at you whether he is right or wrong just be calm, leave your pride behind. don't get angry at him because it is dangerous for both of you to be angry at the same time. Your main objective here is to win your husband's love and peace of mind and save your good relationship that you have worked for.

Step 1. kneel down and say sorry baby- that's the African way. it put an African man's ego down in a very quick moment.

Step 2. Prepare his favourite food and give him a good massage on his head while eating.

Step 3. Make a passionate and peaceful love making with him and let him sleep deeply.

When he wakes up you will realise that he is already cured from his spirit of anger that wants to set your home on fire

FOUR TYPES OF CONFUSED MEN IN THIS WORLD.

1. A man who after impregnating a lady, he denies being the owner of the pregnancy. Later, After the lady has struggled alone and now the child is a bit older, he now wants to be involved with the child. If the child was not yours while still in the womb, why is it suddenly yours now??

2. A man who doesn't want to raise another man's child but goes ahead and marries a woman who has a child and tells her to leave the child at her parent's home, instead of simply marrying a woman without a child at all.

3. A man who marries a graduate with a degree or a diploma only to tell her to quit job and take care of children. If you wanted a housewife, why not marry a grade 2 dropout instead of killing dreams of someone who has worked so hard to reach that far?

4. A man who is a drunkard but goes ahead to marry a church girl and make her life a living hell. If you are a drunkard, marry your fellow drunkard and drink yourselves to madness without stressing anyone.

I rest my case

By coach Amos

THE INEVITABLE IN YOUR MARRIAGE,

You are not a perfect spouse and your spouse is not perfect. Regardless of how much you love each other, you will hurt and disappoint each other for as long as you both shall live. Therefore, have the readiness to forgive your spouse daily and develop the habit to apologize whenever you are wrong. Do not let hurts and guilt accumulate and compound into big problems. Each hurt, each disappointment, and each fault must be apologized for, forgiven and dealt with decisively the day it happens. Tomorrow has its own new issues to be dealt with. But do not be in the habit of repeating the same mistake or the same sin every day. Encourage each other to openly communicate your feelings and disappointments without the fear of judgment or condemnation. At the end of each day and before you go to bed, hand in hand bring everything to the Lord in prayer, and let bygones be bygones and never to be brought up in future conversations. Sleep guilt-free, hurt- free, sin-free and stress-free and enjoy the blessing of starting tomorrow on a clean slate. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”Colossians 3:13. MAY GOD HELP US IN JESUS NAME

Grass is always greener where it is watered.

Husbands;

The reason why other women look attractive to you is that someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always greener where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other fence, work on yours and water it regularly. Any man can admire a beautiful woman but it takes a true gentleman to make his woman admirable and beautiful. Please, work on your woman and stop looking on other man's commitment.

Unfairir treatment and stigmatization mated out to single

Dear Society,

I am addressing this letter to you for the unfair treatment and stigmatization mated out to single women, mostly the single matured women.

How do you treat a woman like a plaque simply because her name has no Mrs in-between?

You insult and humiliate a woman because she lives alone, would you have preferred she moves in with a man who is not her husband, so to get "security?

You deny her job opportunities and contracts because of her status.

Dear Landlords, your discrimination towards the single women has come to our notice and it's very appalling that someone who can afford her rents would be denied her rights because a particular title is not attached to her name.

Fellow neighbours, you have little or no regards for the single lady living adjacent to you. You believe she can't make an honest living other than following men around.

No matter how much she makes, you don't respect her because the stereotypical mentality is that her money comes from men (sugar daddies)

You look down on her achievements and strides in life because you have been brainwashed to believe she slept her way up.

If she buys a car.....a man gave it to her

If she gets promoted....she sl.ept with her bosses

If she owns a car..... Her sugar daddy has done it again..

If she looks good....she's a runs girl

Even you, her fellow woman. Yours is worst. You are always the first to call her ashewo at the slightest quarrel

You'll body shame and age shame her

You'll clap your hands and mock her ... ...go and marry!!! Your mates are in their Husband houses, you are here doing ashewo work.

Look at you who is Marriage shaming your fellow woman, you are not even legally married. You are just cohabiting with a man and popping out children for free.

Is it how men treat single mature women that we want to talk about?

Many of them take advantage of their vulnerability to marriage-scam them. Some come with the promise of Marriage, eat their money and disappear..viam!!

Some don't even have any regards for them because they think they are desperate for marriage and nothing more.

Dear parents, you are not left out of this. At some point you start maltreating your girl child because she's still "under your roof"

You'll remind her that at her age, you already had 10 children.

Go and marry, your mates are marrying... you'll say...

You kill her psychologically everyday but you don't know.. we forgive you because you think you are doing the right thing however, stop it already!

The stigmatization against single ladies by the society (landlords, employers, neighbours, friends, men and women), is one of the reasons they settle for the wrong men just to be married and be validated in the society...even when they know right within them, that they are making a mistake

That same stigmatization is the reason, they think they can't be happy unless they are in a relationship.

It is the same reason that makes them feel worthless, incomplete even with all their achievements and talents.

Dear Society, you are indirectly creating more failed Marriages by bullying and blackmailing these women into rushing to accept wrong proposals, just to be married

Marriage is good. God created the woman for the man but can you allow her man discover (find) her in peace without driving her insane?

Respect the female child...married or not married!

Lust and love look alike but are different.

LUST AND LOVE

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Lust and love look alike but are different.

People have both lust and love in them.

THEREFORE it is wise to find out and be sure which one is driving you and which one you are seeing.

Calling LOVE lust doesn't change its nature and the way it functions and calling LUST love wouldn't change anything.

Whereas LOVE seeks to satisfy others; LUST seeks to be satisfied by others. LOVE is Charity but LUST is Selfishness.

When LOVE is induced by LUST, it is temporary and when LUST is induced by LOVE it is temporary too; but when LUST is produced by LOVE, it is excellent.

There's no room for secret in a strong healthy marriage.

There's no room for secret in a strong healthy marriage. Marriage is for grown ups who understand what they're getting into. If you are not ready for marriage commitment of sharing your whole life with your spouse, stay with your Mama and stay single. Most marital problems are caused by spouse who continue to act single in marriage. When you sign the marriage certificate, you are signing away freedom of singleness and signing up for 24/7 spousal surveillance monetary system. Your spouse has full right to know your whereabouts, companions, business dealings and they have the right to access your personal email, Facebook, cellphones and every personal password.

THAT'S THE TRUTH...

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1 ***** Have you Realized that Some People will tell you they Care, but they don't seem to show it Unless you get Sick, Die or Become Famous?

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2 ...The right attention from the wrong person during a lonely time can fool you into thinking they might be the one.

3 **** Even if you Treat People Kindly, Honestly some of them will still hate you for some reason you can't Understand, that's how Life works.

4 *** "Thank You" and "I'm Sorry" are the 2 Greatest Statements to live by in any Relationship. Sometimes, they are so much Powerful than "I Love You".

5 **** Falling for the Wrong Person doesn't make you stupid. It's easy to fall when that Person pretends to be Everything you warned

Better to remain single

RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE FACTS:

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1. It is better to remain single than to marry a bad wife/husband. A happy single life is better than a sad married life.

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2. In most cases, change takes place during courtship and not in marriage. If you cannot change your partner during courtship, do

not expect any magic in marriage. In most cases, a bad character in courtship is worst in marriage.

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3. A bad marriage is like hell on earth. Never you manage to marry somebody.

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4. It is better to be single and wish to get married than to be married and wish to be single. God forbid.

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5. Marry an imperfect person who is willing to work on his/her imperfection. This is the only type of person you can be patient with and also tolerate; not a person who does not take correction and therefore, not willing to change.

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6. The biggest regret on earth is to regret why you married someone.

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7. The biggest mistake on earth is to marry a wrong person you cannot cope with.

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8. Do not play with marriage issue. This is because in marriage, you will spend the rest of your life with your spouse. So it is either you spend the rest of your life in pains and sadness and die a premature death or in happiness and joy and live long.

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CHOOSE WISELY..

Nothing is eternal in this world

MY PEOPLE, BE WISE. *Charles Chaplin died at the age of 88.*

He left US senate with 4 Statements:

(1) Nothing is eternal in this world, not even our problems.

(2) I like to walk in the rain, because no one can see my tears.

(3) The most wasted day in life is the day we do not laugh.

(4) The six best doctors in the world ....

1. Sun,

2. Rest,

3. Exercise,

4. Diet,

5. Self-esteem

6. Friends.

Keep them at all stages of your life and enjoy a healthy life ...

If you see the moon You will see the beauty of God .....

If you see the sun You will see the power of God ...

If you see the mirror, you will see the best creation of God.

So, believe it.

We are all tourists, God is our travel agent who has already fixed our itineraries, reservations and destinations ... Trust Him and enjoy LIFE

Life is just a trip!

Start living and stop existing!!!!

Share with people who are important to your LIFE

To understand it, you have to visit these 3 places:

- the Hospital

- The Prison

- The Cemetery

At the hospital, you will understand that nothing is more beautiful than health.

In Prison, you will see that liberty is the most precious thing.

- In the cemetery you will realize that life is worthless, the ground on which we walk today will be our roof tomorrow. Let us make the efforts to remain humble by having the fear of God and the respect of our neighbors. Pls give to people in need no matter how small.

You are God's Treasure!

_If one day, we all are allowed to put our problems on a table and exchange them, I'm sure that after few minutes, everyone would silently take back their own & leave the table._

_There is no such thing like a perfect life, nobody has it all together._

_Just as our faces are different, so are our problems._

_Never be envious of what someone else has. You don't know the price they paid to get it and the price they are paying to keep it._

_You don't own half of the problems in this world. BE WISE.

PRISONERS OF EMOTION

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1** The more you show the Person you can't live without them, the more reasons you're giving them to take you for granted.

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2** Loving Someone who doesn't love you in return....is like trying to fly with broken wings

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3** If you carry bricks from your past relationships to the new one, you will build the same house.

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4** Lonely is not a feeling when you are alone. Lonely is a feeling when no one cares.

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5** There are only two possibilities why you're disappointed : wrong person or wrong expectation

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6** First Rule of a Real World : Not Everyone around you is your Friend.

Got it wrong at dating

The dating pool right now is a mess. A big mess.

If you are already married, God has saved you.

If you are in a serious relationship with someone who is going to marry you, Luck is your second name. You are very lucky.

A lot of people are in relationships, but single. You think you are dating someone, but the person is not even dating you.

I feel like we really need to talk about how damaged a lot of us are. How materialistic we have become. How sex obsessed we are as a people. How about how selfish?

"I deserve the best", yes, you do. But while you deserve the best, the person getting you, is he/she getting the best as well?

Our generation is just too selfish. It is always about you. You want someone to love you and accept you, but you are a bag of negativity, and emotional liability. You are unstable.

You never look inside. You never tell yourself the truth.

Wanting people to change for you, but you not willing to change for them in return.

No sincerity.

No honesty.

No love.

Just expectations without reciprocation.

NEVER MISS A GIRL WITH FOLLOWING QUALITIES

When A Girl SAYS SORRY Even Though She Didn't Do Anything

When A Girl CRIES Because She Still Loves Or Misses U...

When A Girl Still TRIES To Get You Back

When A Girl No Matter YOU HURT HER STILL LOVES YOU

When A Girl STOPS Her Arguments With Her Guy Just To SAVE Her RELATIONSHIP

When A Girl Continuously MAKES YOU FEEL SPECIAL &TRIES TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

When A Girl Is Upset But DOES NOT Tell You As She Thinks She Is ANNOYING YOU

When A Girl Wants To LEAVE You Because Of Your RUDE BEHAVIOR But She Is Not AbleTo Do...

DON'T LET HER GO.....YOU MAY NEVER FIND A GIRL LIKE HER EVER

AGAIN.

FUNNY PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE

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--- Life is all about Perspective. The way you see a Traffic Jam is not the same a Gala & Lacasera Seller sees it.

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---- One Girl's Daddy is another Girl's Sugar Daddy.

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------ Sometimes, you will never Value Garri, until you go broke.

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- -- Somewhere in Naija, a Boo is chilling with her real Boo while another Boo is seriously trying her number.

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-----You know you're in the VIP section of Friend-zone if you always help her cream her back and nothing happens afterwards.

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----- It's always fun listening to Someone's lie when you already know the truth.

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--- Before you blame your Father for being broke, Remember he could have used you for Blood- Money, but he didn't

You are Your Truth .

Do not build a Relationship on false information, lies and deception.

A Relationship or Marriage built in the foundation of lies and half truths is a ticking time bomb, it's only a matter of time, truth always finds its way out.

A Person you can't TRUST with your TRUTH is a Person you shouldn't trust with your LIFE

A Person who can't handle your truth is a person who doesn't deserve to handle You.

You are Your Truth .

Don't lie about your past and your background.

Don't Lie about your sexual history,

Don't lie about the true state of your Finances/business and Career.

A Person you need a lie to Impress is a Person you WANT, but don't NEED. You need a Person who you can be real with and be safe with.

Remember, that truth you are hiding can find its way out all on its own. People talk, news travels, the past comes visiting, and Laboratory tests can gossip.

If they can't handle the truth, let them go, it's better NOW than TOMORROW.

Don't be a Liar. Lying constantly isn't WEAKNESS, but WICKEDNESS.

Fake nothing. Anatomically and Physiologically

Forge nothing.

Be You.

Marriage is too long a time for you to chose to be fake.

Trust me, you won't be able to keep up with fake appearances forever. And when you no longer can, their love will turn to Hate and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

Honesty is the best Policy. Remember, no Liar will make Heaven.

WIVES ARE MOTHERS

When a man finds a wife; he has found a replacement for his mother. If his mother is no longer alive or alive but not able to fulfil her roles to her son, then his wife takes over immediately. But if his mother is alive and active, his wife should be preparing to takeover. She is going to prepare patiently by studying the relationship between her husband and her mother inlaw.

Wives are mothers, for their own husbands AND their children. That's why when children are not yet coming, a wife is still called a mother technically. Also that's why a childless marriage is still considered a successful marriage.

Almighty God in His infinite Wisdom made it to be so. Humans cannot alter this without suffering serious consequences thereof.

HOW TO BE ALWAYS HAPPY IN LIFE.

1. Always remember that there is nobody on this earth that does not have problems. You are not the only one that has problems.

2. Challenges is part of life. It is only a dead man that has no challenges.

3. There is no problem that has no solution. There are solutions to the pains you are passing through.

4. The way you picture yourself in your mind can affect your happiness. Picture yourself as a valuable and beautiful person. Avoid low self esteem and inferiority complex.

5. Do not mind about what people say about you. Some people are sadists. They can just say something's just to make you feel sad.

6. Make friends with reasonable people who make you happy. Do not make friends with people who make jest of you or laugh at you over your challenges.

7. At your leisure time, keep yourself busy with your favorite hobbies like reading , Learning, etc.

8. Do not allow anyone to intimidate you with money and material things. A poor man today can become rich tomorrow. Change is constant.

9. No matter what you are passing through today, do not give up. As long as there is life, there is hope.

10. Be very prayerful. Pray without ceasing. Prayer is a catalyst that can speed up your blessings to come to you on time.

11. Be courageous to go for what you want. Life is all about risk. If you don't take a risk, you will not get the desires of your heart.

HOPE YOU ARE INSPIRED?

DON’T MARRY THE OFFICE, MARRY THE MAN.

It’s important I briefly address a particular issue this morning. I won’t take too much of your time.

But I often see too many cases all over social media whereby women will bring terrible marital cases and they tell us she married him cos he is a Pastor, I’ve handled several of such cases personally too.

You see dear Sis. Marriages don’t succeed because it’s a minister’s home. Don't marry a guy because he's a pastor, marry the man not his office. It takes more than annointing and scripture quoting to make a good husband, it is character and ability to follow God's word that makes a good husband.

Never mix success in ministry with success in marriage. The fact that a man understands the principles of ministry and succeeding in ministry, doesn’t mean he automatically understands the principles of marriage and will succeed in marriage. Ministry and Marriage are two different institutions, the prerequisites and qualifications for admittance and success are totally different.

A man doesn't have to be a pastor to make a good husband, he only needs to be a good son of God. So ladies out there, I need you to please stop telling me you want to marry him because he's a pastor. We know them by their fruits not by their offices or positions in church. Believe me, my marriage is not succeeding because I’m a minister, it’s succeeding because I choose to follow God’s principles on marriage. And I’ve been following them before marrying.

Same goes for guys too, but it’s more common with ladies, that’s why I’m facing them more.

Have a blessed day ahead.

THE IDEAL LOVE....

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1 ----- Spending Time looking for the Perfect Person will cause you to miss the imperfect Person who can make you Perfectly Happy.

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2 ------ If argument can Break up the relationship easily then staying Together might not be wise. The foundation isn't Strong enough.

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3 ----- Sex can bring Pleasure but it can never bring Love. Sex is a Product of Love, Love isn't a product of Sex.

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4 ----- A Man that has money and spends it on you means nothing. A Man that has no time but makes time to spend with you means everything.

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5 ---- Sometimes When you want someone, you keep making reasons to make it seem like the persons like you too. That's how you get hurt. # experience

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6 ------ It's not about who you spend the most time with, it's about who you have the best memories with. If you're lucky, that's the same Person. # BBS

THE NEVERS....IN LIFE AND LOVE.

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1----Never settle for being a character in someone else's story, when you're meant to be author of ur own.

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2Never change who u are just bcoz u are afraid of losin them. If they really love u, ur imperfections won't matter.

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3---- Never take People for Granted, No matter how much they Love you. People get Tired.

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4----- Never make a Decision when you are Angry. It's likely to be Wrong Decision.

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5--- Never Judge a Book by its Cover, bcoz a Plain cover may hide a Beautiful Story.

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6----- Never waste your Feelings on People who don't Value Them.

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7--- Never lie to the Person you Love, 1..It's not worth it & 2..They don't deserve it.

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8---- Never say "That won't happen to Me". Life has a Funny way of Proving us Wrong.

A REASON TO CHEAT??

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1 --- If someone is taken, Respect their Relationship. If you are takem, Respect yours. Don't Cheat or be a reason someone Cheat.

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2 --- You have to Forgive and Forget. Forgive how stupid you were...and Forget them!

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3 --- Being Faithful is not Hard, if they truly Love you.

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4 --- Lying doesn't make the Truth go away, it just Postpone it.

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5 --- Some People will still Cheat no matter how good it is in the Relationship. Some will never cheat even when they have a reason to.

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6 --- Social Networks destroy Relationships that are without Trust and full of insecurities.

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7 -- The RelationSHIP sink when they have too many Passengers

SOME SITUATIONS ABOUT MARRIAGE TO BE CAREFUL OF!!!

In marriage there are days you wish you had remained single. There are moments you look at your spouse and wonder “what was I thinking when I married her/him?” There are times you wish you had married someone different. There are times when you feel that divorce is the only option. There are instances you feel betrayed beyond recovery. There are times you feel that your love is being taken for granted.

You are not alone. The truth is that every marriage has its fair share of difficult moments. Every marriage goes through rough times. Every husband & every wife experiences perplexing moments. Remember it's the rough surfaces that sharpen the best. Rough times are meant to build your marriage; not break it.

The beauty of marriage is in realizing that difficult seasons are temporary moments. Straight roads don’t make experienced drivers. Keep on, moving on!

SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE

By Rev Amos.

WHAT WOMEN NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MEN:

1. Men don't read minds. If you want him to know you and what's on your mind, tell him

2. A man loves it when his woman brags about him

3. A man hates it when things he shares with his woman are told to her girlfriends as juicy gossip

4. The number one thing a man finds sexy is her heart, the man serious about love might look at a woman with a gorgeous body but he only chases after and keeps the one with a good heart

5. Men don't think about sex all the time. It means alot to him to have a woman he can talk to deep and intelligent stuff. His need for sexual stimulation is high and scattered, but his need for mental stimulation is constant

6. The easiest way to keep him from spending too much time with his friends at the expense of you, is to make sure being with you is more fun, more intelligently stimulating, more stress-free than being with his friends

7. Every good man loves his woman more than his friends, but if he spends more time with his friends it's to escape the stress he gets when with her

8. The more you nag, the more he will avoid you

9. Men want to express their feelings, but will only do so when they feel safe. How much he lets you be there for him depends on how much he thinks you can handle his issues

10. Don't fight his favourite past time, embrace it. If he loves football, watch matches with him or buy him a jersey. If he loves to swim, swim with him or just check him out as you chill by the pool. If he loves to dance, dance with him even if you are not a pro. The more you do things with him, the more he will value your company, the more he will in return learn to like or accommodate what you like

11. No matter what happens in your marriage, make sure your sex-life doesn't suffer. Don't ever use sex as a weapon to attack him or punish him

12. If he truly loves you, he will still find you sexy whether you gain or lose weight. The thing is always know how to dress and look sexy no matter your size; men can pick up a woman's confidence

13. When you give birth, don't focus too much on being a great mother that you forget to remain a great wife

14. Men also love to be listened to. Be his confidant. Find out how he is, how his day has been. He has feelings too. Let it not always be about you

15. Don't jump into conclusions quickly when you hear rumors about him or think he is cheating or fooling around. Confront him gently with love, it will make him respect you more. He should never feel you are quick to leave his team, be rational

16. Know that good men are constantly being bashed by society because of what the bad ones have done and are doing. Look at him as an individual, celebrate him

17. The more you appreciate his efforts, the more he will do for you

18. Don't let your hurry to get married put him off. Don't rush love

19. A man and a woman may not grow ready at the same pace. Don't force a marriage proposal out of him, if he loves you and is serious, be sure he is planning the proposal. The more comfortable you make him, the easier you make it for him; the more you rush him, the more he starts to feel used

20. A man will always be publicly proud of the woman he admires, be admirable

21. The number one cause for a man to feel less important and threatened in a woman's life is when he has little money or he can't adequately provide. This is one of most crucial moments when he needs his woman to affirm him that she still loves him and the two will find a way

22. It's not that men are intimidated by women with power and success it's just that they detest the pride of some of these women with power and success. You wouldn't want to be with a proud man so full of himself just because he has lots of money and success; neither do the men want to be with such a woman

23. Never praise another man yet belittle your man. A man will not hesitate to walk away from a woman who sees him as nothing

24. When an issue has been resolved between you and your man, move past it. It is retrogressive to dig up resolved fights to prove how right you are and how wrong he is

25. Patience with a man will take you far. Many women miss out on the growth with a man because they want perfect right now

26. Submitting to a man doesn't mean you are his slave, it just means giving him the authority to build with you, to nourish you, to look out for you and be concerned about your well being

Avoid media hookups

Please Dear Lady,

For your own protection, It's not every Man/Guy you meet that you go to his House to visit.. Abeg.

You don't just meet someone today, and next week he's inviting you to his house, and because he mentions Marriage, you go.

You can start by talking at Public outlets

Go visit him with someone.

Till Trust and Truth is established.

Facebook hookups should not be done at his Place. You don't know him before.

He could be a rapist, ritualist or kidnapper. Don't end up as a Missing Person. Stop taking risks because of Relationship.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

Meet him at a public place of your choosing and during the day till TRUST and TRUTH is established.

Immediately he starts insisting on the venue of meeting being his place and nowhere else, or insisting you come late in the evening, smell the coffee and flee.

It is not only in his house you can discuss about love matters.

Dear Brothers

We can do better

Honestly, this is appalling.

Must you force yourself on a lady? Where's the satisfaction in that? How does causing someone misery, pain and trauma bring you pleasure? Think of the pain you'll put her in.

Please, let's all SAY NO TO RAPE.

A Ladies body is not anybody's property to just forcefully claim and plunder.

WHEN WE ARE HURT OR TROUBLED.

SO MANY PEOPLE believe it is better to be quiet than to speak out their hurts especially if their spouse is known to be aggressive, stubborn, naive, callous, obstinate or severely ignorant.

BEING QUIET or pretending to be calm is worse than letting out the hurt because; the kind of peace arising from being quiet is a "PEACE OF THE GRAVEYARD". Such a "peace" is an incubator of hurts. Surely it will explode someday somehow and the pieces may no longer be gathered. Bottled up emotions are said to be a health hazzard too.

THE MAJOR REASON for accumulating hurt inside us is that we often don't know the appropriate words and composure in expressing our feelings of hurt. Thus, instead of PRESENTING our hurts, we rather let out nasty threats and insults as our vengeance, thereby starting badly, a good case.

WE CANNOT JUST ACQUIRE the right words and attitudes unconsciously, it doesn't come with a college certificate, diploma or degree. It doesn't come with age either.

WE MUST LEARN THOSE FROM OTHERS WHO HAVE LEARNED FROM OTHERS...

Therefore, we need to be careful about our association; the friends we keep, the social media groups to which we belong, the religious sects we follow etc. Some people are so evil that they are wandering in social media groups looking for vulnerable persons to mislead with evil advice.

MANY SOCIAL MEDIA GROUPS do not control what comments people make and the quality of advice their members receive because, they see it as pastime activities with no consequences and no value.

HERE IN SECRET IN MARRIAGE GROUP, there are many officials of the Group moderating posts, membership requests, comments, advice, adverts etc so that the quality of what we receive here can be one of the best available.

WHEN ANY OF US IS WORRIED

OR TROUBLED AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT NEXT TO DO, PLEASE OPEN UP IN THIS GROUP.

We are endowed with highly skilled, highly experienced, matured, elderly and very elderly people of numerous fields of learning and integrity who are ready to genuinely assist us free even privately or anonymously.

IT IS OUR PRIVILEGE AS MEMBERS OF THIS GROUP as long as we do not violate the membership rules

Sidelining your spouse

Sidelining your wife or husband and making financial decisions with your mother or sisters without consulting and agreeing with your wife or Husband is totally wrong. It's undermine and disrespect your spouse position. Every decision whether financial or not must be made in consultation and in agreement with your spouse.

*EXCLUSIVE ROLES OF PARENTS IN CHILDREN UPBRINGING*

Parents have four major roles to play in the life of their children.

*1-* INSTRUCTIONAL ROLES.

*2-* REBUKE ROLES.

*3-* EXHORTATION ROLES

*4-* EDUCATIVE ROLES.

* INSTRUCTIONAL ROLES.*

We must instruct our children:

*To behave well in public.

*To rise up early each day.

*To pray first thing as they rise.

*To be the first to greet people.

*To clean up themselves properly.

*To clean their environment.

*To be early and timely to every daily tasks.

*To be orderly.

*To be respectful to people.

*To speak in decent language.

*To organise themselves.

*To plan their schedules.

*To have their daily timetable off hand.

*To comport themselves in quietness.

*To be articulate, reasonable and expectant.

*To ask questions when in doubt.

*To listen carefully with understanding.

*To act with decorum, courtesy and humility always.

*To defend the family name and image at all times.

*To obey elders, set rules and regulations.

*To pray before retiring to bed at night.

* REBUKE ROLES*.

We must rebuke our children:

*When they portray laziness.

*When they are prayerless.

*When they appear dirty.

*When they're insolent.

*When they speak foul languages.

*When they speak improperly.

*When they sit carelessly.

*When they participate in unsolicited discussions.

*When they come late to appointments or tasks.

*When they talk back to elders in anger.

*When you notice pride in them.

*When they become spendthrift.

*When they eat irregularly.

*When they cannot control their appetite.

*When you notice ostentatious lifestyle in them.

*When they think about materialism always.

*When they unnecessarily compare themselves with others.

*When they speak abusively of other parents or elders or mates.

*When you notice the spirit of hatred in them.

*When they make hate speeches.

*When they complain always about others.

*When they move with suspicious characters.

*When they are not extolling learning.

*When they're not proud of academic achievements.

*When they abuse their teachers at home.

*When they discredit their school.

*When they plan to revenge or retaliate against actions.

*When they refuse to obey constituted authority.

*When they fail to pray.

* EXHORTATION ROLES.*

Parents must Praise their children :

*When they do well in assignments and exams.

*When they are properly dressed.

*When they speak well in public.

*When they speak well of their institution and teachers.

*When they speak well of others.

*When their carriage is decent.

*When they express Godly values.

*When they always talk about excellence.

*When they spend less time watching TV.

*When they spend more time studying.

*When they spend less time talking.

*When they spend more time listening.

*When they spend right time praying.

*When they spend less time playing.

*When they know what to do.

*When they know what is right.

*When they refuse to do what is wrong.

*When their ambition is to be the best in good endeavours.

*When they speak of becoming Great People.

*When they take action that meets good vision.

* EDUCATIVE ROLES.*

Parents must Teach their children :

*How to live honest life.

*How to live amongst people.

*How to live in comfort with others.

*How to love and appreciate others.

*How to be fair to all concerned.

*How to love their teachers, school and those in authority over them.

*How to obey rules and regulations.

*How to live in dignity and self esteem.

*How to plan their future.

*How to raise Godly homes.

*How proper education answers to most of life's challenges.

*How to escape from bad friendship.

*How to pick a career.

*How to develop their career.

*How to pass through life successfully by depending on God and not man.

*How to pass examinations without malpractice.

*How to be studious and build their brains.

*How to set academic standards for now and their future.

*How to flaunt Excellent Achievements and not Beauty.

*How to be Intellectual Celebrities.

*How to have a vision.

*That Godliness with contentment is great gain.

*How to love GOD and their neighbor.

*How to live in fear of GOD.

_*When we play these roles, our children by the grace of GOD will come out great and the parents will have a good old age and memorial

Wrong Generalization of Marriage Matters

In my tribal culture; marriage is a union of two communities viz: the native community of the man and of the woman. The husband and wife of such marriages are mere care-takers of the union. That's why the two communities negotiate the rites including dowry. Consequently, there cannot be a successful divorce without the full consent of these communities.

This is conditional that the marriage rites have been fully performed in accordance with the customs and tradition of the community of the bride.

In our custom, a wife is titled; "ORIAKU" literally meaning "ONE WHO CONSUMES WEALTH". Every young man works hard and prays earnestly to have a good one to consume his wealth . Sometimes or often it takes years or decades for a man to prepare himself adequately for this task. It is considered a shame for a man not to be capable of maintaining a wife such that she can compete with other wives of her generation or of her husband's age mates.

Basically a man in this culture must first have his own house or at least a dwelling place he has a right to occupy without hindrance, and a suitable means of taking acceptable care of a wife and future children, before thinking about marriage. His parents must be satisfied with his capability on all these requirements.

A man who fails on these conditions is considered an irresponsible fellow.

NOW, could someone who has gone through these to marry a wife still be seen as not have demonstrated sufficient love for his bride? Yet, in many cases, this same man would turn around to destroy what he has laboured to build; either through foolishness, arrogance or ignorance of his recurrent duties. It is not enough to labour to build a palace, if such an edifice is neglected, it would spell doom. NOT ALL MARRIED MEN ARE HUSBANDS.

Nevertheless, the bride has enormous contribution towards the success of the union. If she takes the whole matter for granted, her husband could become discouraged and the union will fail with the support of the husband's community.

The Community of the bride would feel embarrassed if through her fault, the marriage collapsed. She wouldn't be accepted back in her maiden home or if reluctantly accepted, she will become an icon of failure.

Similarly, the community of the husband will rally round the wife and block any move by the man to force her out if they realise that he has been unfair to her.

SEE ONE OF THE MANY REASONS WHY IT IS WRONG TO GENERALIZE MATTERS CONCERNING MARRIAGE?

BEAUTY AND CHARACTER

It's okay to dress your body, don't forget to dress your heart. Beauty may attract a man, character will keep him. A beautiful suit may get you the job, a beautiful brain will keep it. No matter how sweet your mouth smells, if you open it and nothing sensible comes out of it, i you will lose that man to a woman who opens her mouth with wisdom; a woman who matches brain, character and godliness with her beauty. Men with extremely beautiful wives are leaving their wives to chase not so beautiful ladies out there. What else are they looking for? Brain, smartness, intelligence, character, passion! Dress your body but don't forget to dress your spirit, brain and character. That is what makes you completely irresistible to men. Cheers!

An opportunistic woman

In this part of the world, most ladies are looking for men who will treat them like queens. That's great!

However, my concern is that most of such ladies are not ready to treat their men also like kings.

Queens are only married to kings!

In the past, I have told you how I give my wife royal treatment in our marriage. She's indeed the queen in my world.

But what most of the ladies don't know about my wife is that she treats me also like the king that I am.

She respects me!

She honours me!

She submits to me!

She cherishes me!

She loves me like kilode!

I mean the whole to her!

My wife and I came into marriage with the mindset that it's about US. In our marriage, my wife has never felt more deserving and entitled to things than me. She wants the best for me just as I want the best for her.

Ladies who feel more deserving and entitled to things than their husbands in marriage are opportunists. Period!

Marriage becomes sweet when the two spouses "expend" themselves towards each other. But marriage becomes unhealthy and one-sided when one spouse thinks that marriage is about them alone.

During my last birthday, my wife gave me superb gifts. When I reflected on the meaning and monetary value of the gifts, what she gave me was almost twice the value of what I gave her during her own birthday. "Ladies, shay una dey see?"

Over the years, I have shared with you the secrets of my marriage. In my marriage, we are not perfect. But one thing we have succeeded to achieve is simplicity. We are down to earth. All protocols duly removed.

It takes the right mindset to have a great marriage!

I hope you have heard me very clearly!

By Coach Joshua

BE YOURSELF

1 ----- Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.

..

2 ----- Be happy & be who you want to be. If others don't like it, then let them be. Happiness is a choice, life isn't about pleasing everybody.

....

3- ---- I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions & unnecessary conversations.

...

4 ----- I don’t chase people anymore. I learned that I’m here, and I’m important. I’m not going to run after people to prove that I matter.

..

5 ----- I believe it’s healthy to spend time alone. you need to learn how to be by yourself and not defined by another person.

The world we live in

The day I entered mortuary, what I saw was undescribable.... Human beings laid down on bare floor and stark naked. They were more than fifty. Some were supported by jerry cans, some were placed on bare floor, some on tables and some on plank. Women and Men were together but were stoned dead with their private part uncovered.

When we pushed Dare inside, the attendant removed all the cloth on his body and my leader was stark naked and he was placed on a wood. I looked at him, he could not protest, he could not use his hands to cover his nakedness and I asked myself, what is this life all about?

Why are we struggling to possess everything?

Why are we having pride and ego as if we own the world?

Why can't we forgive one another and know that vanity over vanity and all is vanity?

See house owners, degree holders, car owners, lying on top of one another naked without shame. See different hair styles on the head of women and here they are stoned dead.

Life is nothing, position is for a while, riches and wealth is temporary. I don't know when am leaving this world but I have an idea of what will happen to me when am no more.

I want to be better than yesterday, I want to be more humble. I want to be more forgiving and I want to be more humane than before because I have seen that life is nothing and death is certain and it is a leveller of status in life.

Let us step on the sand softly as the floor is slippery.

_The effects of peaceful marriage_

Peaceful marriage prolongs life.

Peaceful marriage enhances family and social health and peace.

It sets a good example for younger ones to emulate.

It creates a sound atmosphere for progress in life.

It brings honour and glory to God.

It is a vessel of evangelism.

A peaceful marriage brings the favour of God and His blessings on the family.

Let us therefore try all what we can, to make our marriages peaceful to fulfill the intended purpose of God for us. His banner over us is love so let LOVE reigns.

Misleading relationship

WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY.

Don't remain in a relationship you are suffering in because of ( what will people say)

Don't go into a relationship ( because of what will people say)

Learn to say NO when you need to say NO

And YES when you needed to say YES .

A lot of us have made mistakes and taking decisions because of the thought of WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY.

do the right thing for God and for you and not WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY.

POISON THAT KILLS MEN

Once upon a time a beautiful girl got tired of her marriage life and wanted to murder her spouse.

One morning she ran to her mother and say to her " mother, I am tired of my husband I can no longer support his nonsense. I want to kill him but I am afraid Law of the land will hold me responsible, can you please help me mother?"

The mother answered:

- Yes my daughter I can help you, but, there is a little task attached.

The daughter asked "what task? I am willing and ready to assume any task attached in order to get him out"

OK, said the mother,

1..You will have to make peace with him, so that no one will suspect you when he is dead.

2.. You will have to beautify yourself in order to look young and attractive to him

3.. You have to take good care of him and be very nice and appreciative to him

4.. You have to be patient, loving and less jealous, have more listening ears, be more respectful and obedient

5. Spend your money for him and don’t get angry even when he refuse to give you money for whatever

6. Don’t raise your voice against but encourage Peace and love so that you will never be suspected when he must have died.

Can you do all of that?

Asked the mother.

Yes i can. She replied

OK, said the mother.

Take this powder and pour a bit in his every day meal, it will slowly kill him.

After 30 days the lady came back to her mother and said.

Mother, I have no intention of killing my husband again. As of now I have grown to love him because he has completely changed, he is now a very sweet husband than I ever imagined.

What can i do to stop the poison from killing him?

Please help me mother.

She pleaded in a sorrowful tone.

The mother answered;

Do not worry my daughter. What I gave you the other day was just Tumeric Powder. It will never kill him.

In reality, you were the poison that was slowly killing your husband with tension and dispassion.

It was when you started loving, honouring and cherishing him that you saw him change to a nice and sweet husband.

Men are not really wicked, but our way of relating with them determines their responses and feelings towards us.

Women if you can only show respect, dedication, love, care and commitment to your husband he will 100% be there for you.

Do share with friends, family members, love ones

Don't Settle for Less!

Dear Queens,

Any man who feels your success is a threat to him, doesn't deserve you!

Any man who is EXTREMELY jealous, can do anything in rage.That man doesn't deserve you!

Any man who constantly reminds you of things he does for you, doesn't deserve you!

Any man who hits you, doesn't deserve you!

You do a man a favor by dating him. Not the other way round. After all, after marriage, na you go change your surname and still endure the pain of belle and childbirth. You deserve to be respected biko

SENTENCES YOU SHOULD NEVER TELL YOUR HUSBAND

1. "YOU SHOULD MAN UP"

If your intention is to challenge him to be better, these are not the words to use. These words make him feel undermined and belitted

2. "BEAT ME IF YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH"

Don't provoke him. Don't test him. Don't put you and him in a situation where you both say or do ugly things

3. "YOU ARE SUCH A MAMA'S BOY"

Even if you think he is accommodating his mother too much, saying this makes him feel you are attacking his mother. His mom will always be his mom. Find a way of honoring his mother as you pull him closer to you to build as a couple. Correct him without insulting his relationship with his mother

4. "F*CK YOU"

Curse words communicate disrespect. Hold your tongue

5. "GROW UP SOMETIMES"

This, similar to "Grow some balls" makes him feel you see him as a boy. You can inspire him to greatness without making him feel you are looking down on him

6. "MY FRIENDS WERE RIGHT ABOUT YOU"

This communicates you are gossiping about him and you value more what others say about him than the man you personally know him to be

7. "I REGRET MARRYING YOU"

In moments of anger, don't speak words that sow seeds of doubt in him. Communicate your disappointment in his specific actions without putting into question what you two have built all these time

8. "YOU DON'T SATISFY ME IN BED"

Don't mock his sexual performance in bed yet want the same man and same penis to satisfy you in future. Men make love with their heart and their ego. When you praise the little he does right to please you, he will seek to do more to pleasure you

9. "WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE OTHER MEN?"

Don't compare him with other men. He is unique. Speak to his individual identity

10. "DID YOU EVEN GO TO SCHOOL?"

Don't mock his intellect, especially if you have more formal education than him. You get nothing positive out of bringing a man down. Remember there was a time you used to admire him, speak to that man in him

11. "I AM WEARING THE PANTS IN THIS HOUSE"

Don't make him feel useless or his position undermined. He will withdraw and pull away. When a man feels unappreciated, he puts little effort

12. "YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER"

Why become his worst critic? These are not words that should come out of a life partner

13. "I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED ANOTHER MAN"

Why hit him below the belt. If you are done with him, leave him for good; instead of remaining in the marriage, praying for the marriage yet inside the marriage you are attacking him

Lady, your biggest ammunition is your tongue. Your biggest encouragement to your husband, are your words and tone

They Are Against Me Because I Married

They Are Against Me Because I Married A Man Who Helps With Household Chores

I was posted to this village to teach. When I first came here, it was very difficult for me to survive. Everything was new—their way of life, their language, and the way they related to each other. I told myself, “There’s no turning back. This is where I’m planted. I can only grow.”

A year later, I met another teacher from another school during the annual inter-school sports competition. He said, “Madam Joan. Are you from this village or you were posted here?” I looked at him. I asked, “How did you know my name?” He said, “Your kids have been mentioning your name since morning. It’s hard not to know your name.” I said, “I was posted here a year ago. Why do you ask?” He said, “Then you’ve adapted to the lifestyle here very well. How did you do it? I was posted here a few months ago but I’m finding it tough to adapt.” I told him, “I had the same issues from the beginning but time worked its magic. With time, you’ll adjust. Just make up your mind and make it a point that you have nowhere else to go. It helps.”

The next day I met him again. I got to know his name from his kids too. They called him Sir Jonathan. I said, “Oh you’re Jonathan? That’s my father’s name. He named me after himself. Somehow, he thought Joan is the female version of Jonathan so he gave me Joan.” He said, “Then forget about the Jonathan. Call me daddy.” I said, “If only you’ll give me pocket money every morning, then I wouldn’t mind calling you dad.” He laughed. We exchanged contacts. We became friends.

He came to my place every weekend to eat. On weekdays when he wanted to eat something he wouldn’t get from the village, he would give me money to cook so the two of us can eat. Even Before he proposed to me, everyone in the village thought we were dating. He said, “The whole village can’t be wrong. They think we are a couple. Let’s make it true.” I said, “They would call us liars. We’ve always told them that we are not couples but just friends. Think about that.” He said, “Then let the village think what they may think whiles we do what makes us happy. I will be very happy to have you as my girlfriend. Just say yes for the sake of my happiness.” I said, “How about my own happiness?” He said, “I will take care of that when you say yes to me.”

I said yes.

Nine months later, we got married. Marrying Jonathan was one of the easiest decisions I’ve had to make in life. He proved to be a capable companion throughout the period of our relationship. There was nothing he wouldn’t do. As far as my happiness was on the line, he would travel every mile to ensure things get done. He told me, “When you smile, I glow. I will do anything to have that smile.” He was in the kitchen with me all the time. I lived in a single room with a portion of the room made into a kitchen. When he was with me, he could have been in bed while I cooked but he would sit next to me and find a job for himself. What he couldn’t do, he asked me to teach him. I washed in my room. He did it with me. We will bring his things and the two of us will wash together. You see why I said it was easier to marry him? His kind of man isn’t easy to find so I made it easy for him to marry me.

When we got married, we needed a bigger place to stay so we moved a couple of blocks away and rented a place there. It is a compound house with as many as six different households living together in the same compound. Honestly, it’s the best place we could get in the whole village. It’s a single room that has a kitchen attached to it. When it comes to toilet and bath, the six households in the compound share a single toilet and a single bath. The rooms are opposite each other so you mostly see what everyone is doing in the house.

One morning, Jonathan went out to see a friend. I was in the room relaxing when I heard a knock on my door. I opened the door and saw the elderly woman whose room is directly opposite ours. She greeted and I responded. She said, “There’s something I would like to discuss with you. Can I have a chair?” I gave her a chair outside and sat next to her. She was speaking undertone. She said, “It’s about your husband and the way the two of you live. I don’t know how old your mother is but I believe I’m old enough to give birth to you. Because of that, I qualify to give advice or play a motherly role in your life. Why are you always in the kitchen with your husband? I’ve realized that you don’t cook your cassava until your husband is home. You want him to be the one to pound the fufu so you wait until he’s in before you put cassava on fire. Can’t you do it solo? You stir and pound at the same time. Can’t you?”

I was looking at her. I wanted her to finish what she had to say so I can clearly see her point. But she kept asking me questions. I said, “No I can’t. I can either pound or stir. I can’t do both at the same time.” She screamed, “That’s why you’re a woman. You have to learn. It’s a woman’s job to own the kitchen. Your husband has no place in there. You’re turning him into a man-woman and everyone around here is gossiping about it. It’s not good for his image as a man so do something about it.” I took in a deep breath and said, “I and my husband have been like this right from the beginning, even when we were not married. I don’t see anything wrong with that. We go to work together. We come home together. So we do home chores together too. What’s wrong with that?” She said, “Everything is wrong. Look around here and tell me. Have you ever seen any man in the kitchen with his wife? Change it. It’s not good.”

I went in and thought about the whole thing and started laughing. “This woman paaa what has come over her? Do I interfere in her marriage that she has the audacity to interfere in mine?” I didn’t tell my husband about it. He’s a man. If he gets to know people are gossiping about him, he may feel shy and stop helping around the house. I know Jonathan, he’s a shy person. In the house, he hardly speaks with anyone apart from exchanging greetings with them. I kept mute about the woman’s interference so we could have our peace and live the way we want to live.

On Saturday morning we were both washing. The woman was eating in front of her room. She was looking at us and chuckling. I didn’t mind. We both washed and I took them to the dryline to hang them. Later in the evening, I was in the room when Jonathan went to the drying line to remove our laundry. He came back with well-folded laundry and a smile on his lips. He said, “Guess what happened. The woman whose room is directly opposite to ours saw me removing the things and she asked me to stop. She then removed everything and folded them nicely for me.” I asked, “What did she say?” He responded, “She didn’t say anything. I only thanked her and left.”

Another day, Jonathan went out to fetch water but it was the woman who brought the water to our veranda. I went to the market with him and we were both coming home with loads in our hands. The woman sent her daughter to collect Jonathan’s load. He said, “No it’s ok, we are almost home.” She said, “My mom will be angry if I don’t take it from your hand.” She took it and sent it to our veranda.

Another morning, another knock on our door. Jonathan was out. This time it was the landlord’s wife who came to see me. She said, “The gossips around here is that you’ve used juju on your husband that’s why he does all the things you’re supposed to do. I know both of you are strangers around here. You’re educated too. Maybe where you come from, things like these are allowed but here in this village, it’s unheard of. I will urge you to do something about it. I don’t like the way the people in this house are talking about you. Four people so far had petitioned me and my husband to talk to you. I can’t sit unconcerned again, that’s why I’m here.”

I took my time to explain everything to her. “I don’t tell my husband what to do. It’s in his nature to do all the things he does to help around the house. And it makes sense because we both go to work together. We come home at the same time. We both get tired so we combine energy to finish the house chores so we can get time for ourselves before we sleep. Is that a bad thing to do?” She said, “Look around, even the jobless men around here don’t help in the kitchen. It’s never a man’s role to do that. That’s why they think you’ve bewitched your husband. If it’s not true then make him stop. If you need help, you can call any kid around here and they’ll be happy to help you.”

I thought I was strong but I was hurt the way she said it. When my husband came from town, I told him everything. He was very mad. He said, “Forget about them. If they have any issues, they should come to me. I’m the man of the house. Don’t worry about them. We do what will help us. They should also do what will help them.”

We’ve been in this house for only seven months but no one talks to me. They prefer talking behind my back. When I finish bathing and come out, nobody in the house wants to go in right after me. They think I will bewitch them. We want to move out but there’s no house in this village better than what we are living in. Again, what shows we’ll have peace in the next house we are going to rent? Because of the name-calling, I can see my husband has toned down on the kind of help he gives around the house.

What should I do? Gradually I’ll lose my husband’s output towards house chores. If he loses it entirely, it would be difficult for me to get it back and that’s my fear. We won’t live forever in this village. Someday, we’ll seek and get a transfer to a better place where we can have peace to model our marriage the way we want it. I don’t want that day to come and meet a husband who has lost his magic. What should I do to keep my husband engaged in doing household chores?

By Joan

FACTS ABOUT SLEEP, SEX AND INTIMACY

1. When you go to bed clean and not stinking of sweat or odour. By maintaining good hygiene you excite your spouse to have sex with you. Cleanliness heightens sexiness

2. Sleep is the highest form of trust; an adult to close ones eyes and be powerless and safe in bed with another adult. A spouse who feels comfortable sleeping with you, trusts you

3. The quickest way to destroy the marriage bed is for your spouse to suspect you are cheating. It is not enough to be faithful, your spouse must also perceive that you're faithful. Desist from doing things that make your spouse perceive you are cheating even though you're not: Things like keeping secrets, or being extra friendly to people of the opposite gender

4. When you come home early, you will have enough time to spend with family which will lead to good sleep. Don't give your family the exhausted and hurried you

5. Make time for intimacy and special time with your spouse. Don't let life rush you to the point your marriage is surviving on quickies and hurried sex. Allow yourselves ample time to make love

6. Get in to the habit of telling your spouse "Good night" and "Good morning", preferably with a kiss. These words are simple but crucial. When you just sleep or wake up without concluding the day or starting the day right, it shows disregard to your spouse's feelings. The two greatest moments that define a marriage is how each day is started and concluded

7. Dress for comfort but also dress to arouse and excite your spouse when in bed. Don't look good when you go to work and in public and then fall short to the one person you should visually stimulate

8. Develop a habit of making out. Yes, married couples need to make out too. Fondle her breasts, kiss, touch, grab each other, kisses on the skin

9. Before your spouse sleeps, find out how he/she is emotionally

10. When you notice your spouse is exhausted, allow him/her to rest and talk when you're both fresh tomorrow. Show that you understand. Just because what you wanted doesn't happen today, doesn't mean it won't happen tomorrow. Don't be alarmed. Your spouse is not going anywhere

11. Avoid chatting with people on the phone late in the night when with your spouse, avoid TV and social media too. Night is for the one you consider special

12. Heighten your spouse's self confidence in bed by giving compliments

13. Don't expect things to be OK in bed between you two, if you have been treating your spouse poorly and rudely during the day

14. Invest in pillow talks. Pillow talks are not primarily for talking about issues, but for connecting emotionally. Yes, talk about issues when they arise, but focus more on intimate conversations

15. When your body gets enough rest, you two will enjoy great sex, you will better meet each other's emotional needs

16. When you do have an infant/s, take turns in looking after the baby so that you give each other space to rest

17. A tired mind struggles in relationship building. Give a fresh you to your spouse and children

18. Occasionally deliberately have lazy days where you two as a couple sleep all through, chill in bed, go on a go slow, and don't do anything but enjoy each others company. If need be, take a vacation or book a hotel room. Invest in intimacy

19. Incase you notice you two are drifting apart and not connecting as you used to, do not complain and attack your spouse for the change because that will push him/her away or make your spouse defensive. Instead, lure your spouse back to you progressively and naturally. Have good times, laugh, show care, be easy to talk to. People gravitate to experiences that are safe and light, not forced ones

Things A Mum Teaches Her Daughter Before Marriage!!*

1. My daughter, don’t cause a separation between your man and his siblings; it could be dangerous for you when they finally speak with one voice.

2. My daughter, I know that some of you girls don’t wish to marry a man whose mother is still alive, don’t ever think like that, if you do, well, I think your son’s wife-to-be should start wishing you're dead now.

3. My daughter, listen to me, when I married your father, he was as tiny as his salary but I chose to grow with him and today, those cars out there are some of the results of what we started so little, together, and we’re proud looking at them.

4. My daughter, there is this thing i see happening in your time, some of you girls now get pregnant before the wedding day, well, it never happened in our time because no matter what, we never opened our laps before the wedding.

5. My daughter, well, yes, I once locked up the cloth of your father because I got to my limit of patience and that was the only thing I could do, but one thing I haven’t said was that we settled the issue that same day and that was the last time I tried that.

6. My daughter, look up there. That’s the wedding picture of your father and I, look at him smiling, I know you've seen it many times but what you did not know is that your father was angry before taking this picture, I hope you find a man whose anger doesn't last till the next day.

7. My daughter, when your Father was riding a bicycle, I was always happy to hop on it and ride with him, not because I didn't see those men in their little cars but because my eyes also saw those men trekking to their farms.

8. My daughter, if you and your husband eat a little food with love, you both would be satisfied. Times are not always the same; support him in every phase he’s passing through.

9. My daughter, don’t ever close your laps to your husband in bed , the day he paid your dowry was the day you lost your will to do so, don’t be stiff and try to satisfy him even if you were angry with him.

10. My daughter, a man would respect you and be more proud of you if you’re learned and not totally dependent on him. Strive to make your own money and while you're at it, be humble.

11. My daughter, under the cocoa tree that I did meet with your Father was open and good enough for our discussions, yes; it was open and good enough if you understand what I mean.

12. My daughter, in our time, we had sexy legs and firm bosoms to show our men , in fact, we had the finest ones, yet, when we dress, we cover those parts of our body, not because we were not civilized as you people would call it, but because we know that the eyes of men are hungry, many of them would only come, touch and go their way.

13. My daughter, there is this thing you girls now practice, they say it’s feminism. Well, you can prove to be equal to a man in the society but please, not in your marriage because at my old age, I don’t want to start counting your husbands.

14. My daughter, marriage is not a Rehabilitation Centre, if he’s not good enough for you before marriage, nothing he does would be good

enough after marriage.

15. My daughter, you can see I still wear my night gown , yes, because to my husband; your father, I still want to look sexy. So, take good care of your body, look good for your man and don’t look like a grandma after giving birth.

16. My daughter, I’m your mother and still, I'm not interested in you coming to me always if anything goes wrong with your husband. Though nowadays I see some mothers controlling the homes of their sons and daughters, I would only say; shame on them!

17. My daughter, for you to have a peaceful home and well-trained children, have one voice with your husband, join him to say NO when he’s saying NO before the kids but later when you both are alone, you can plead with him for a YES, if not, the

children will see a loophole to misbehave, either to you or their father.

18. My daughter, if you chose to live together with a man that you’re yet to be married to , and you are complaining that he hasn't proposed to you, oh, he already did. Whatever he said that made you start living with him was his proposal.

19. My daughter, your generation does not see any pride in been a virgin before marriage, it’s a shame! Your father met me a virgin and he brought more yams to my parents and up till today, he’s still proud of me when we discuss in that direction.

20. My daughter, I know that no man out there is complete, but when you are looking for your tall, slim, fair and handsome, if he’s a woman-beater, please, go for the short, fat, dark and ugly that will give you the respect you deserve as a woman.

21. My daughter, know, learn and respect the culture and lifestyle of whoever you chose to marry . In some part of Africa, you knee down to greet your man’s parents while in some part outside Africa; you can even call them by their first name and ask for a

handshake. Whatever they believe in, if you've chosen him, believe it with him also.

22. My daughter, don’t ever try to date a married man, whether his excuse was that he doesn't find happiness with his wife or he would have married you if he had met you first, if you ever try it, I curse you already.

23. My daughter, when I say over 52 years of marriage , it wasn't that I did not see any reason to leave your father, I saw a lot of them but I bear his faults, i forgave him to stay married.

24. My daughter never insult your husband no matter what happens, always allow him to express himself as the man, remember what the bible says respect and honor your husband always.

25. My daughter, these are part of the wisdom i have gathered over the years. and If I had taken my time to tell you all these, and your marriage doesn't last like that of your father and I, then I had wished i never gave birth to you.

SIGNS OF IMMATURITY IN MARRIAGE FOR MEN

1. Rejecting food when there's an issue:

Mr husband, you gave your wife money for

food and after it was prepared you refused

to eat because you are angry. It's one of the greatest signs of immaturity, it's time to grow up! You should not even abandon your home for any reason. You could go somewhere when angry but ensure that you don't allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on even though some women can be really troublesome.

2. Telling your wife severally that you are the head:

May I let you know that even when your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. Or do we need to get you a slot on CNN? It's important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues, however don't become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head.

3. Issuing threats:

beating, verbally abusing

your wife, issuing threats of divorce or

bragging about marrying another wife does

not make you a man. An EMPTY barrel makes the loudest noise. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her "childish woman" part, play the "matured man."

4. Reporting your wife to friends and family:

When your wife offends you, correct

and talk things through. You don't have to tell everyone about her mistakes, that will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back.

By the way, are you a reporter answer my question ?

5. Keeping malice:

is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, criticise, abuse and call their wives names in public. It may make you look like a "big boy" who's in control but you are not going to gain anything good from it, your home will only be a den of insults and confrontations.

6. Not helping with house chores:

I must say here that it is the sole responsibility of a woman to tend and manage a home when she chooses to be a full time house wife.

However, it's not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary. Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife and if you truly care you'll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys. Some men don't even say "thank You" to their wives after eating, all they do is compare her with other women. It's a shame that after having 3-4 kids some men cannot change a simple diaper or prepare cereal meals; a big shame.

My point?

A REAL man is a pillar of support to his wife, not a hole of depression

Don't marry Insult

Don't marry someone who you play with and they see it as insult...

Sometimes I and my wife will play and play and she won't know when she will say MUMU BOY.... it sweetens me ... But she will immediately say sorry...

I will immediately call her big head so she won't feel guilty...

Sometimes I will behave like a child... She will throw me slap...pursue me and throw me garri Turner...

I will run and come back... Scatter something and she will shout... And pursue me...

Listen leave serious people alone... Nigeria is already too strict don't add to it.

Men attend to Sex and Love and marry Stability

Men attend 2 Women for two reasons, SEX, and LOVE, but in most cases, men do not Marry for Sex or for Love, they marry for STABILITY.

A man can Love you and not Marry you.

A man can have sex with you for years without marrying you.

But immediately he finds someone who brings stability in his life, he marries her.

Men are visionaries when they think about marriage, they do not think about wedding dresses, bridesmaids, anything the woman thinks is fanciful.

They think that this woman can build me a home.

Women are tender, they have the capacity to receive and reproduce.

You give her groceries, she prepares a meal, you give her money, she gives you peace, you give her sperm and she gives you children.

You give it discomfort, it becomes your worst nightmare and most men know it. This is why a man can stay with a woman for years and meet another in a month, then get married.

It's the stability they want.

Sex is a pleasure, love is an affection, RESPECT is Stability.

Take Note.

THE MONEY, THE SEX AND THE RELATIONSHIP

"If you don't want to give me sex, don't ask me for Money"

"ladies want guys money in a Relationship, but they don't want to give him sex in return"

These are justifications we often hear, excuses that we are given to justify premarital sex.

Because Men think when you give a lady your money, you should get something back in return, otherwise you are a loser.

I Weep

First question

Is A Woman's Body something you Pay for?

Like she gives you sex, so you give her money.

If yes, what makes your girlfriend different from a prostitute?

Any guy whose girlfriend is giving him sex so he gives her money has a prostitute as a girlfriend.

A prostitute is someone who gives her body in exchange for monetary favors.

Even if she's sleeping with just one man, she's a Mono-Prostitute.

Dear Bachelor, when you ask your girlfriend for sex because she asked you for money then you are

Insinuating that she is a prostitute, her body is something she gives to reward a Man who gives her money.

Trying to make her a Prostitute or introduce her to it if she isn't one already.

A whore monger (someone who patronizes and deals in prostitutes)

******************

A Lady's body and Money are not things you compare.

NEVER say If she wants my money, she should give me her body, otherwise she should forget it.

You don't understand.

..................... MONEY is something you give someone because you LOVE Them

SEX is something you give someone because you are MARRIED to them...........

...........

What gives you the right over a Lady's body is MARRIAGE, not MONEY.

The truth is,

When a LADY loves a Man completely, she is actually naturally willing to give him her body even before Marriage, but God's Word forbids it, so she can't and won't, otherwise she breaks God's law.

When a MAN Loves a Lady, he actually is willing to spend his money on her, and No Law or Morality forbids such..

Only a stingy and godless Man says because his girlfriend has refused to give him sex because of her belief therefore he won't give her his money, when he is supposed to have same belief as well.

And as for a Man's money, Yes, a lady has no right to it, where a lady says no to sex (which is what it should be), even if she doesn't ask for money or doesn't need it, a Man with his head and heart in the right place will give to her, AND a lady with her heart in the right place will also give money to her Man. Giving in a relationship is a 2 way traffic. So ladies, work hard, earn and give too.

***************

Don't get it twisted.

A Relationship is not an excuse or license to a Woman's Body.

MARRIAGE Is!

***************

By Musa Gift

THE HIDDEN PART OF YOU

This is the part of you that even yourself don't know about, only God knows this part of you.

Have you heard people after marriage wonder what went wrong with their spouse?

Have you heard people say, I don't understand this part of you!

Have you ever heard couples accuse each other of PRETENDING before Marriage, just to show their real color in Marriage? This is the reality of the UNREVEALED YOU that becomes revealed in Marriage!

This is why Courtship is very important. It is why you must build Friendship before Courtship. Such discovery is subject to TIME

THE PAINS OF WRONG MARRIAGE

The pains of Marrying the wrong person is worse than your present fear of "Why am I not married"

Marriage is not a competition, take your time, fall in love, Nurse your Ambition into Maturity, Groom your Relationship, because forever is too long to be unhappy.

You don't want to go into Marriage with the Intention of divorcing in 5 years time, do you.??

Always remember, it is better you wait long than you marry the wrong person.

_How to lessen marital conflicts_

- As a family make it your habit to pray together, a family that prays together stays together

- Meet your spouse’s needs as you want your spouse to meet your needs

- Learn to spend quality time together

- Be courteous, gentle, caring, affectionate and appreciative to one another

- As much as possible avoid referring to past wrongs of each other

- Avoid destructive criticism and comparison

- Respect each others views and interests

- Do not allow outsiders to crash your heads together - protect each other

- Do not disgrace your spouse to friends, family or neighbours

- Resolve to forgive your partner anytime a conflict erupts

- Never use the silent treatment, but communicate

- Never hit (hands are intended to protect, cares reassure etc)

- Never call names - foolish woman or worthless man or lazy or liar ( names that hurt or attack who we are). These words are hard to forget, you can't take them back. They can kill relationship.

Realize that the quality of your relationship with your spouse affects the quality of your relationship with God. It is therefore expedient that you do whatever you can, as obedient to God to let go whatever resentment that can block the flow of peace between you and your spouse. If you do this, your confidence level will be raised to counsel younger couples

SIX REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD DRESS DECENTLY

"Raise your hands & touch your toes. If anything shows, go change your clothes."

I saw the above quote somewhere and I like it so I copied it in order to share it with you.

Dressing decently is a good thing and the best thing to do. It shows you are modest, have good morals and responsible.

I will be sharing with you 6 reasons why you should dress decently.

I believe this is going to help so read consciously.

First reason, the Bible admonished us to do all things decently and in order (you can see that in 1 Corithians 14:40). And when it says all things, it means all things including your dressing. Let your dressing be decent and in order.

Don't dress just anyhow with the mindset that it is your body. Of course no one is disputing the fact that it is your body. But dressing indecently is not the best and for the fact that we've seen scripturally that we should do all things including our dressing decently and in order should move us to dress well.

Second reason, it commands respect from people: have you seen that people tend to respect you for your dressing? When you dress well, people see you as matured and respect you. And truly, matured people can't dress irresponsibly.

Do you also know that, your dressing is you as a person? That's why Mattew 12:34 tells us "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh" and in Proverbs 23:7, it says, "for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."

Your dressing is you so dress well.

Thirdly, you feel comfortable: Yes! dressing decently makes you feel so comfortable. Let me quickly share something with you in line with this third reason.

Few days back while walking along the road, I saw a young lady and she was putting on a top (to me it was a top) but to her, it was a gown and I guess that was why she didn't get to wear probably a skirt or trousers underneath it.

While she was walking, she had to start using her hands to hold the "top-gown" to herself so that the breeze doesn't blow the "top-gown" away.

I was amazed at the funny scenario and I began to ask some questions in my mind, questions like:

What's she even trying to prevent?

Why does she have to undergo the stress of having to fight with the friendly breeze all because of her indecent dressing?

(I guess she will start passing unnecessary blame to the gentle breeze that's only doing its job)

Was it that she doesn't know the dress is suppose to be a top and not a gown?

You see all those questions I asked could have been asked and answered by the lady before she left the house and that would have saved her the unnecessary stress and inconveniences.

Do you now see why decent dressing makes you comfortable?

Fourth reason, you look good on decent dressing: if probably you've not been taking notice of this, just start from now and you'll see that those who dress decently usually look good and more responsible.

Those folks don't just look good only, they also attract good people to themselves.

They attract people of like minds, responsible minds and great minds.

Specifically for me, this is one of the major reason that attract me to people.

Fifth reason, your dressing is a message: your dressing is a message that people who looks at you reads which means in order to pass a positive message to people, dress properly.

Sixth reason, it boost your confidence: as a public speaker, I can tell you this is so true. Your dressing is going to affect the way you think and also affect the way you act. Do you want to boost your confidence then dress properly.

I believe you've learnt one or more things from this, do let me know in the comment section.

_The effects of peaceful marriage_

Peaceful marriage prolongs life.

Peaceful marriage enhances family and social health and peace.

It sets a good example for younger ones to emulate.

It creates a sound atmosphere for progress in life.

It brings honour and glory to God.

It is a vessel of evangelism.

A peaceful marriage brings the favour of God and His blessings on the family.

Let us therefore try all what we can, to make our marriages peaceful to fulfill the intended purpose of God for us. His banner over us is love so let LOVE reigns.

TO KNOW A MAN WHO IS SERIOUS FOR MARRIAGE

A MUST READ For Single Ladies.

Is He Ready For Marriage?

1. A man can date you for 10 years and still NOT get married to you. I heard someone say ‘God forbid.’ That’s good. Don’t let that happen to you.

2. It is sad but MANY men are NOT ready for marriage. Many are immature.This has nothing to do with love. It has to do with wanting to settle down with you.

3. Now that you are young and hot and irresistible, you are not paying attention to this article. But the truth is that you will not remain young for ever. You should therefore not allow any unserious man waste your time.

4. A man may love you but does he want you to be his WIFE? If all he wants is fun and games, he will never propose to you. May the Lord deliver you from time wasters and deceivers.

5. There are ladies who are ready for marriage but are in a relationship with jokers who are still immature. Such ladies will experience pain unless they let go of such a relationship.

6. A man who is READY for marriage will have marriage burning in his eyes. It will be in his every sentence. If you are wise and know he is God's will for you, GRAB him now. When the Lord sends a blessing your way, it is foolishness to let it slip out of your hands.

7. If you have dated for at least 6 months and he has not raised the subject of marriage, my dear sister, he is NOT ready to get married. You may grow old waiting for him to propose to you.

8. A man who is emotionally mature, financially prepared-he doesn’t have to be a millionaire- and talks to you about marriage should be taken very seriously. If you reject him, he will get married to the lady who accepts his proposal.

9. Marriage for a man is not complex. It is the most direct thing for a man who is ready. So, when a man keeps beating about the bush and evading the subject of marriage, he is not ready for you. Let him go or be ready to wait until he is ready, whenever that may be.

10. Let’s wrap this up. Are you good for each other and happy together? Is he ready for marriage? Has he asked you to marry him? If he has, don’t let this moment pass you by, seize it. And may the Lord give you understanding.

HOW TO DEAL WITH PREMATURE EJACULATION AND ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

FOR MARRIED ONLY

1. Wife, celebrate if your husband ejaculates because of you albeit prematurely. You have the ability to make him climax quickly. The goal is, how can that climax be delayed

2. Husband, if you climax too quickly, rejoice that your penis is able to sense pleasure inside your wife to climax. You just need to work on control

3. Wife, in case your husband climaxes too soon, don't look at him with eyes of frustration and disappointment as if it is the end of the world; you will only make him self conscious

4. Husband, learn your penis. Get to know when you are about to climax; and when you feel about to cum, get out of her sweetness and change the sex position to prolong your hardness

5. Wife, it is not all lost when he climaxes soon, continue playing with him, after some minutes, his penis might get hard again. For a lot of men, the second hard on lasts longer

6. Husband, if in case you climax too soon, don't feel ashamed. Your wife is still horny, find other ways using your hand and tongue to get her to her orgasm

7. Wife, identify which sex position makes your husband climax too quickly. If you notice he climaxes faster when he sees your butt as you two do doggy, or when you are rubbing his nipples as he is on top of you; save that sex position for last

8. Husband, a lot of men climax too soon because they are too excited or they are used to masturbation. Avoid masturbation, relax when making love, don't be in a hurry, allow your spouse to pleasure you in other ways beyond your penis such as massaging

9. Wife, remember that sometimes it is not that your husband cannot sustain his erection; but that you turn him off with your bad attitude, harsh treatment or lack of hygiene. He might start off hard then the penis shrinks when he remembers how bad you treat him. Good treatment sustains an erection

10. Husband, don't overthink during love making. Sex starts and is sustained in the mind, if you over think, your penis will be confused. The penis remains hard when you have one focus: pleasure

11. Wife, a lot of men struggle to maintain an erection when stressed, especially due to finances. Talk with him, relieve his stress

12. Husband, when you are so used to masturbation, your mind will desire self pleasure than a vagina. That is why some men maintain an erection during self pleasure and watching porn but lose the erection when next to a naked and wet vagina. Avoid masturbation; relearn that true pleasure is what you get from your wife's vagina

13. Wife, the quality of foreplay sustains the penis. Find out what activities you do get your husband really hard, is it playing with his balls, pleasing the tip of his penis, licking and rubbing his nipples. Do it. Get him hard to the fullest

14. Husband, be confident as you approach your wife. Believe in yourself. You are capable of pleasing your wife. If you are shy or have a low self-esteem, you will lose your hard on

15. Wife, praise your husband sexually, make his ego feel good. Once a man feels sexually praised by his wife, he sees himself positively and the penis follows suit. The mind controls the penis

16. Husband, avoid panicking and worrying. Yesterday your penis may have lost its erection, today it will be hard like a rock for long. Worrying about what happened yesterday messes up today. No sexual session is ever the same

If it persists, see a sex therapist you two are comfortable with.

DANGERS OF SEXUAL SINS ..

 I AM WRITING THIS LETTER TO THOSE WHO ARE GENUINELY BORN AGAIN, BUT THEY ARE STRUGGLING WITH SOME SECRET SINS... BECAUSE, I WAS ONCE THERE! .... There is something glorious about your future God will show you, you will not need your pastor to keep preaching holiness message to you daily... When you see a girl singing in the choir, yet, from the choir, she keeps sexual appointments, check that girl, she has not seen anything yet about her future... When you see a young boy who dresses to church, to seduce those small girls to bed and his mates will be clapping for him, check that boy, he has a spiritual eye problem... He hasn't seen anything about his future yet... If you do it again and again and again, God will forgive you again and again and again... But, while He is busy forgiving you, angels are busy searching for some one else heaven will use to replace you ... What separates men before God is not how long they can pray or how much scriptures they know... The value God places on people is not determined by the position they occupy in the church... But how much they can bear for His Name sake... Some times, He allows your salary to be delayed, to know if you will start stealing in your office... Sometimes, He allows some lose ladies to start suggesting sex with you, to know if you have grown... But unfortunately, you still fall again .... Yes, He will forgive.... But, you will still remain in the same class in the school of glory... Decision separates men... There is an OIL that comes with separation... The weight of a man is buried in the decisions he makes when no one is watching him ... Many times, God allows you to be lonely so that you can be holy... Forget this public revival messages all of us are preaching... Many are still behind in the school of glory... Not because they chose to, but because they still don't want to pay the price of separation... If it takes a man to be married to be responsible, we will not have many married irresponsible men scattered all over the place who are renting houses for their girlfriends, while their wives are still at home.... When a man is due for marriage, he should get married... But don't tell me to get married because you want me to escape fornication... Marriage is not an escape route into a responsible life... What you cannot control when you are single has the power to control you even when you are married ... No matter how beautiful your wife will be, you will still see other beautiful ladies.... Teach me how to die to flesh sir... Teach me that I can live alone in a house alone and yet, I will not think rubbish thoughts... Joseph was not married before he ran away naked from Portiphar's wife bedroom ... It was not a marital ring on his finger that made him refuse that gesture.... But because he knew the future God has planned for Him will be messed up by a single decision.... God wants to raise a generation of young boys and girls that will love God where no one is seeing them ... God wants to raise a breed that doesn't appear holy only when they see their parents or their pastors... This holiness by dressing is sending people from choir seats to hell fire... They are dying in secret sins, yet, they have none to cry to, because, once they confess, they will be stigmatized... Consequently, we are raising a generation that is speaking in tongues on their way to hell... Sister, singing in choir doesn't confer value on men before God, but decision... Stop attaching your spiritual growth on night vigils where you go and flog enemies ... God is waiting for you when no one is there... If you can succeed there, you will be a commander of the supernatural... The greatest tool against the end time church is the adulteration of the message of grace... They teach you that God will forgive... But they will not teach you that God will not promote you to another class... No matter how you love your child, you will not give him your car key to use when you know he has not perfected his driving... As long as that child is finding it hard to drive perfectly, he will keep trekking to school... There is someone reading this posts now, heaven is saying that you are due for manifestation, but you have not made a decision yet... You are still afraid of hunger.... You don't want to starve.... You are ashamed of what people will say when you stop sleeping with men for money to pay bills... They have even told you that there is no young person like you that doesn't have sexual partners... That human beings were wired by God to fall and rise again... Several times, you have made moves to delete all those phone numbers that connect you to your vomits... But you have been afraid of the days of loneliness... You don't want to miss those cuddles... You don't know if you can ever look into his eyes and tell him: "No more sex"... Even if he accepts, you are afraid that you might never cope... Sister, don't let weekend orgasms rob you of eternal value... Your enemy is no more that witch in the village.... But any man that is making you comfortable in a place of rebellion with God ... Don't be in church singing in the choir and God will go to the nearest hotel and catch a prostitute, wash her, clean her and fill her with His power... I know you have been trying to make amends ... You have answered altar calls several times, yet, you still fall back, even more deeper ... Some of us were there not too long ago... Singing in choir, leading in powerful prayer sections, yet, battling with addictions... Worse of all we were afraid to tell anyone... Because, people around would never have understood how much we were trying to be better ... We bought different anointing oil, from different men of God, yet, we were not free... We even afflicted ourselves with fastings... Yet, nothing changed ... Until we encountered the Word of God..... When Jesus said that " We are made clean by the Words that I speak unto you..." We began to read and study the Bible... Like Job, we began to esteem God's Word above our necessary food... Gradually, addictions began to lose its grip... God began to change our appetites... Until today, the darkness is past, the true Light now shineth ... Brother, I want to recommend you to the Word of God.... The Word of God will settle that lust issue... Don't go and rush into marriage if you are not ready, because you want to avoid temptation... The spirit of lust does not respect wedding ring... Especially now that our sisters who are still in Babylon even prefer having it with married men ... There are still single guys who are serving God in spirit and in truth... 5 chapters of the bible every day and 1 hour prayers or more... You will see that your mind will stop going to those thoughts ... Jesus did not say it is easy... But He said that with God all things are possible ... Your heart is beating faster now as you are reading this... You are wondering if you will ever get free from the things you are struggling with... Friend, that God that did it for us, He will show up on your case... Receive grace to feast on the Word from now.... In Jesus Name...please teach the young ones in your church and God bless you. There is no obligation to share. No whips or curses if you don't share. But we both know that when you share this, it goes a long way to help someone. So I'm asking you to help someone . .. Thank you for reading God bless you